Creating 2020 So Your 2019 is Wonderfully Planned

I saw Rich Litvin ask his clients to focus on 2020, and I thought I would take it on myself.  2018 – can you believe is almost over? Most coach always asks me to focus and reflect. However, my coach, Patty DeDominic, asked me to start focusing on 2019. Then, Rich talked about focusing on 2020.  Focusing on 2020 makes a lot of sense coupled with what my coach asked me to work- my business. It makes a hell of a lot of sense!  Why? Because if I have 2020 in mind, then I am going to plan and prove that 2019 was fantastic.

How is that possible?  As a creative, I am always thinking of new and creative things. I am always thinking of a vision. Many of us are always being reactive which can make us crazy.  Well, I am of the mind that life is created as opposed to being reacted to.  I used to be very reactive. I still am a little. The difference is that I now recognize it and can cut it off the moment I experience it.  Being reactive takes a lot of energy and robs me of life and the possibility of my dreams.

I had an amazing life in 2018!  All I can say is that I am happy.  I have learned a lot about myself and my life and contributed a lot to my clients.  I have transformed myself and my business by putting a lot of ways of being and steps in place for success.  My commitments have been consistent. I am happy and excited about the future, no matter what happens, because I am present and ready to be ready (in the words of Abraham Hicks and the law of attraction). My clients received much value from my services as their Personal Life Coach, and that will only get better.  I created and brought that value that I desired to bring to their life, and they bring value to my life.

Do you want to have a progressive and wonderful 2020? If you want to have a great 2020, you have to make sure that your 2019 is amazing so that it folds into 2020 with ease.

We are creative people. We create our lives every day, whether in a good way or a bad way. The challenge of being creative is that we are always thinking about the future. We spend very little time reflecting on what we are proud of or grateful for. This is the time of year to start looking.


What are you most proud of — just one little thing?

  • I asked four of my clients a question that resulted in them getting engaged to the love of their life and being married.
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in her creating a new job and making the salary of her dreams with a company where her personal and professional mission was in alignment. 
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in her becoming an Angel investor. 
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in her getting a huge bonus.
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in him being complete with the death of his father 5 years ago and being at peace with the death of his mother, knowing that his parents were proud of him.  
  • I asked one of my clients a question and had her write her personal and professional mission which resulted in her getting a job, getting paid what she wanted with all the perks she wanted, even the perks she did not know she wanted.
  • I asked one of my clients a question which resultedin her telecommuting one day, something that her company had never done before.
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted inher leaving her divorce behind and moving to another country, creating an excellent job and creating a new relationship where she is living life her way. 
  • I asked my client one question that resulted in her becoming a significant contributor to the success of her company.
  • I asked my client one question that resulted in her falling in love with herself and realizing that she deserved all that she wanted in her life. Now, she knows she is the creator of her reality.  
  • I asked my client one question, and she increased her income and got a fabulous new job in approximately 3 days.


As your coach, I ask questions that will make you nervous.

I have you face the things you are avoiding at all costs. 

I have you create small actions that’ll make a massive difference. 

I have you be present in your life. 

I have you be accountable in your life. 

I have you create a positive relationship with yourself first and foremost.


I love coaching. I have been called magical; however, I can assure you that I do not have a magic wand.  But, I will help you tune into yourself in a way that you have never done before.  Here is what I request of you:

#1: Schedule yourself for a free 15 Hello Call. Be open to listen and share yourself on this call.  This call is the beginning of what will be a transformation in your life.

#2: You will need to be open to listening and sharing completely. Be judgment free of yourself.  Do this, and I promise you that your life will already begin to change.

Thank you, Rich Litvin, for your layout and contribution to me.



Rah Rah Person

For years I called myself the “Rah Rah Person” (like a cheerleader) until I found out that I was being a coach.  In July 2005, after taking classes at NYU, I declared myself a personal life coach. Today, I know that it has been the best choice in and for my life.

I no longer wanted to be a Real Estate Broker, and it was a difficult choice to leave the industry. At the time I was happy, and everything was clicking.

Then, why was I crying on my couch? I was done being a Real Estate Broker, and I didn’t know why because I still loved it.  I discovered I could leave something that I loved.  It was the end of a career, and I didn’t have to hate it or make it wrong. It was time.  I’d be miserable if I stayed and so would my clients.  I let my license expire, and I chose. You can do this even if nothing seems wrong, even when things seem to be working.

Even with my new certification and declaring myself a personal life coach, it was scary.  I don’t remember being scared of being a realtor. It had tangible, physical properties. Whereas with coaching, it’s all intellectual property, and the work was from the ground up.  I had to relearn how to listen and how to hold space and a slew of other skills.  Rewiring and understanding that what I saw was not necessarily so and taking it with a grain of salt or something.

I recreated and stretched myself out into the world to generate clients. I messed up, made mistakes and blunders.  Without clients, I was not a coach. Being a good coach was not enough.  I had to enroll and register people to become my clients and use me. I wanted clients but not just any clients, extraordinary clients who did the work and got results, clients who were able to co-create and grow with me and take action to get the results they said they wanted and be open to results they did not know they wanted.  They had to grow to like and trust me.  I had to be able to say the things that no one else would dare say and have them commit to making the difference they said they wanted.

13 years in, I have a career I love, and people still ask me, “Noreen, what does a personal life coach do?”  In a nutshell, I help people create and manifest their dreams.  I am a miracle-maker.  My clients now see themselves powerfully and know they deserve a life they love.

One client said it like this in a testimonial:

I had the honor of working with Noreen Sumpter during several of her workshops and they were all incredible experiences! She is a key figure in my growth and development as a young woman. I continue to be deeply grateful for the gift and blessing that she is as a coach and leader. She is someone who lives so that others may awaken to the people they truly are. She is a beacon of light in my life. I can confidently say that there are many, many, many people in this world who have also worked with Noreen and who feel the same way!

I celebrate because I now contribute in ways that I didn’t dream of, and I am loving me and my life.  My clients come to live and be extraordinary in their life.  They are now shiny and bright and confident.  They own their power, speak their truth, and live life on their own terms.  I love my clients. I support them to build confidence and develop self-esteem so they can connect with their true selves.  My clients are accountable to own their power. They get out of their way so they can accomplish dreams.  I love my work. I do kick their butts if it is necessary and will terminate our relationship if they are not doing the work to get the results they want.

It has opened a world of joy and happiness for myself and my clients.  It has allowed me to grow develop and create the life that I love, and in turn that my clients love.

This year I celebrate 13 years! I applaud my success  I have given myself permission to be, do and have- to own my voice, speak my truth, and live life my way.  I stand in my belief that finding our path is critical and that doing what I love, I give, knowing that I am the source of my abundance and that helps me prosper, and others flourish. It’s a win-win.

Congratulations, to you my dear, Noreen Sumpter. Keep expanding, growing, and developing, sharing your gifts with others.

Fear, Doubt and Judgment Create Opinions that Kill Dreams

It is 2017… I just finished speaking, and people are introducing themselves and thanking me. “You changed the energy in the room.”  ” I would love to speak with you.”  “Do you have a card?“ People want my attention. I’m being pulled in many directions. I love it. I know some people fear public speaking.

There’s one lady that stuck out in high definition.  My mind immediately went rogue, aka judgment. She didn’t seem approachable. Truth is, she doesn’t have to be. Regardless, I introduce myself to her. We exchange details and promise to connect.  We agreed to do a Zoom video conferencing call.

Zoom was awkward at first, but then it became comfortable as we talked. We asked and answered questions. Why NY? She’s English. We got comfortable and laughed. She asked me if I’d heard of NAWBO.  I had not. Google is my best friend.  She said it was NAWBO, the National Association of Women Business Owners, and she’d love to have me on the board. “Sure,” I said. My one caveat: NAWBO had to be diverse.  A year later, I sit on the board of NAWBO, a fantastic organization set up to empower women.  With NAWBO my creativity is unabashedly unleashed.

I’m sharing this story because it’s important to stay out of your way (your head) and meet people.  What you and I think about someone is immaterial. Noticing and pushing past your judgments is essential.  

Consider how many people you didn’t speak to because of an opinion?  Opinions are the gap between your dreams and goals fulfilled.  Do you want to fulfill your goals and dreams? I’d like to request three things:   

  • CHECK your fear, doubt, judgments and opinion at the door.
  • Make contact. Get curious. Spot someone. Make eye contact.  Share a smile.
  • Begin a conversation. Say hello.

Live Life Your Way.  

Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself

People who are angry often lose sight of why they were offended in the first place; all they know is that they’re right and the other person is wrong. Being right makes the person angry and he/she goes around making everyone else angry. Learning to understand yourself and forgive provides the tools to understand what it feels like to forgive. Forgiveness is like a much needed refreshing drink on a scorching, hot day. After the first mouthful, you feel refreshed, and any pain you might’ve been experiencing is washed away. There’s no room to continue with one’s life in this way. I’ve definitely experienced forgiveness.

Here’s a list of things you and I may have experienced (that others have done to us or that we’ve done to others), that make us crave forgiveness:

Being gossipped about

Words, like violence, hurt and leave memories and painful scars which causes and creates vengeance. Vengeance, like a disease, without a cure, is transmitted to others.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving doesn’t minimize or justify the act; it just releases the hurt that the past holds on you. I heard Oprah say many years ago on her show, that “forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.” If you can’t forgive, you’re the one that’s left with the pain. You must learn to let go of the ill feelings of anger, hurt, and upset. Forgiveness unties your heart and frees you up. Forgiveness lives in the past. Every time you remember what happened, you relive the experience and it brings it back to the present moment. Forgiveness allows you the opportunity of staying in the present; providing you with empathy and compassion from the perceived wrongdoing.

We get hurt, and it’s usually by the people we love and are closest to because they’re the ones we’ve let into our lives. Family and friends can be the ones that abuse, betray, reject, and insult us and they’re the ones that we never expect to treat us this way. People we let into our hearts and homes do things we may might not like and we suffer instead of speaking out and honoring ourselves. Most of the time we’re mad at ourselves because we didn’t honor ourselves or speak up. We feel bad, and like I said before, it becomes like a disease because it’s a negative experience which affects our feelings.

If negative incidents are not handled immediately, they begin to grow bigger and fester, fill with the pollution of resentment, killing off any positive feelings, and becoming a blight in your existence. The resentment quickly immerses into bitterness and continues to kill off any positive feelings surrounding the person that’s wronged you. You can’t face the person and you find yourself having difficulty with this relationship and you begin to have trouble communicating. You become sensitive to the thought of any perceived insult, hurt, or conflict. Your sense of reality can become distorted. The continuance of you holding onto your pain and immersing yourself in suffering becomes a hefty price to pay.

You eventually begin to bring pain into every relationship (new and old) by repeating your story about what happened over and over again, reliving it over and over as if it happened yesterday. You are continually slicing the perceived wound open, never treating or giving it time to heal. It then becomes a part of you, and it does not need to be.

With forgiveness, we never have to identify with hurt or anger, it’s just knowing that what happened was not a good experience. Forgiveness is an act that one has to be consistent with. In the Bible, it says that, “we have to forgive 7×70.” It’s something we have to learn and acknowledge, or we will become victims of the circumstance. We have to learn to forgive our own mistakes, and with that, we learn to forgive ourselves and, in turn, we can forgive others. We have to forgive 7X70 which is 490 times. When you forgive yourself or another person, the feelings of upset, disappointment, and angriness vanish.

When I haven’t completed an experience and forgiven it, I’ve either felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach or I’ve felt uncomfortable because the past keeps rearing its ugly head and the anger, like acid, runs through my stomach and wants to come up. My mind goes into fight or flight mode which is how I know I haven’t forgiven the person. Truthfully, I’m suffering because I’m allowing the past to take hold of me. That’s when I realize I have to forgive again. The moment I gave up the anger and forgave, I was free. Free to honor myself and the person I was angry with. Some of us are good at holding onto the pain, holding on to malice from now until eternity. Anger is a feeling of being violated; our boundaries have been broken. We have to do the inner work, or we will be stuck with repressed feelings, live in denial, and we won’t feel good. When we forgive, our hearts expand and our feelings become whole, complete, and perfect. In turn, we feel honest and our giving of forgiveness becomes organic. There is space where there was none. You have to put yourself and your boundaries back together. Forgiveness helps you do that. It hurts and is a drain on your being to live in a closed-off space.

It’s good to feel the anger, be with it, not repress it, and allow it to take you over. Anger has information for us if we are willing to be with it and listen. We have to feel our anger and feel out the information it has for us. Anger is usually telling you that you have not taken care of yourself, and it’s time to take care of the wrong you feel. Put the integrity back in.

When you’re angry, ask yourself these questions to allow you to begin to get to a point of forgiveness:

Who are you angry at?
Why are you angry at him/her/them?
What boundaries do you feel he/she/they have violated?
How long have you been angry with him/her/them?
When will you give it up?
What actions do you have to take to give it up?
What promises will you make to yourself to begin the forgiveness process?

Are you angry and in need of forgiveness of yourself and others but don’t know how to begin the process? You can always reach out to me by visiting my website, and sign up for my FREE 15-minute Hello Call. What are you waiting for? Begin the forgiving and healing process NOW!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Are You Sexy?

Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips? It’s a lot – and you might think it’s a crazy thing to think about. Whatever this question triggers, I want you to think about it and let it massage your mind. Then answer the question honestly. Do you think you’re sexy? And, who do you think you are? These questions are meant to be taken in a positive way without judgement and tone. What I mean is, who am I speaking to? Who are you intuitively? Do you have the confidence to say you’re sexy proudly?  Is who you are so clear you don’t have to say anything? If you’re confident about your sexuality, it’ll be clear to everyone and it will get reverberated back at you in your world.

Here’s another question for you – have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you’re feeling so sexy you hear it whispered in the wind?  It’s just who you are at that present instance.  You know you’re the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips. You’re sexy.  And, you get to say it and feel it for yourself.  

So again, who you think you are can be translated to read, me for example: I’m a woman, I’m black, I’m tall, I’m English, I’m a Confidence and Self-esteem Coach, I’m the daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson, I’m 5’8”.  Who do you think you are has nothing to do with that.  It’s important for you to know exactly who you are from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. You don’t need anyone telling you what or who you are.  That’s the kind of “who do you think you are?” that I’m  interested in. However, that’s not to say that those descriptions aren’t interesting.  They’re the kinds of facts you share with people when you first meet them.  Somewhat boring and mundane; not the “meat and potatoes” of who you are facts.

What makes you sexy, the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips? If you can’t answer this question truthfully for yourself, you might have an issue with sexiness. If you think the statement is presumptuous, consider you might have an issue with being sexy. If you agree with this statement, good for you! What is it that makes some people appear sexy and attractive and others not? Is it confidence?  Is it feeling good about themselves?  Or are they just plain ole sexy?  Do you think you’re sexy? And, if so, what’s sexy about you? After all, it’s how you feel about yourself.

Sexy has come a long way.  Back in the 1930s, ankles were considered sexy.  In some cases, women would be hidden by a long curtain where only the ankles were exposed, and, of course, they would be judged by men.  There was a time when women’s bodies were covered pretty much from head to toe.  Women went swimming in long dresses, and sometimes, in pants, tights, and dresses, where every part of the body was covered.

However, a breakthrough was made when, in 1907, Annette Kellerman, a woman who dared to wear her short one-piece swimsuit (bodysuit) for a swimming competition in Boston, was arrested for indecent exposure. Annette faced a judge for her arrest and the judge who tried her case agreed that the suits at the time were cumbersome and not good for exercise.  Because of the verdict, Annette Kellerman went on to design bathing suits that were more adequate for swimming, but they took a decade to catch on.

Women’s clothes have come a long way where now we’re showing a lot of flesh and modesty, is, for the most part, a thing of the past.  Today, we wear less and less clothing and expose more and more of our bodies and share less and less of who we are as human beings.  Confidence is the new black. Confidence is being able to stand up for what you believe in. Sexy, for me, is being confident, honoring your word and believing that you love your life and you love yourself.  Sexy is saying that you do what you say you will.  Being sexy is not the only thing that creates a good relationship with yourself or others.  Sexy is a word that’s used for a lot of ideas and representations, e.g. that’s a sexy job, that’s a sexy car, etc. Today, I think sexy is relative; you’ll see what we would deem a beautiful woman walking down the street with what would be deemed an unattractive man and they’re happy.  You, in turn, would see a man that looks like a God walking down the street with a woman who’s considered overweight and unattractive, and, in both cases, people would ask what’s up with that.  Beauty and sexiness are in the eye of the beholder.  Sexy is someone who gets you because you get yourself.  Sexy is a reflection of your confidence; someone you can hold a wonderful conversation and communicate with well.  

Today, you get to say what is sexy for you.  It’s none of your business what people or the media says about you as a person.  Your way of being is sexy.  Size, shape, or form has nothing to do with what sexy is for you.  I think what’s considered sexy in popular magazines is out of date.  They’re not marketing to the masses; they’re marketing to a few demographics that might not have as much confidence due to age and where they are in the world.  I believe confidence and sexy go hand-in-hand, and when you have confidence, you’re sexy.  When you walk into a room and you light up the place with your confidence, you’re sexy.  When you’re a pleasure to be around, you’re sexy.  When people have crushes on you because you bring the love and light and you create a space that people love to be around, you’re sexy.  

Little back story. I went out with a male friend. When I got in his car, he said to me, “You look sexy tonight.”  I replied, “Thank you. Just tonight? Honey, I’m sexy all the time.” He said, “who told you that?” I replied, “I did.” He then said, “You’re not sexy until I tell you you are.”  I laughed.  I also told him, “I’m like a self-cleaning oven. I create the sexy that I am.  It’s called confidence and love of self.”

Sexy is made up of the following:

  • It’s sexy to know what it is that you love about your life and that you can speak up for it.  No matter what it is you love.  It yours; you honor it and that is sexy.  
  • Passion is sexy.  Knowing what you’re passionate about and being able to share your passion without forcing it upon people; sharing it as joy and excitement is a very sexy thing
  • Being able to know what your interests are and being able to share them is also very sexy  

What are you proud of? You have to feel proud of yourself and that you’re happy with your life.  Your happiness is contagious.  You can be proud that you keep even the smallest promise.  You’re happy and know that people are motivated by people they trust; that in itself is sexy. You know that you’re the kind of person that people can count on.  

To that end, it’s important you create yourself the way you see yourself.  That you’re sexy and confident or confident and sexy; the order doesn’t matter.  Don’t allow others to determine who you are.  The way you feel about yourself speaks volumes.  When you’re happy about yourself and you can go from good to great about yourself and people know, like, and trust you, you can become whoever you say you are.

So I ask this question again.  Are you sexy?  The answer is HELL YEAH!

Not sure if you’re sexy or not? Talk to me and we can see why you don’t feel sexy. Visit to sign up for a FREE 15-minute Hello Call!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Fall In Love With Yourself – Know, Like, and Trust –then there’s no turning back.

The first step with regards to doing anything is more often than not the most difficult.  However, Martin Luther King, a.k.a. my birthday twin and hero said, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

The first step is like a breath of fresh air. “Fear nothing, attempt everything, unknow!” -Unknown

Take the first step to owning your voice, speaking your truth, and fall in love with yourself.

Like most things in life, what it commonly boils down to is simple: we need each other – whether we like it or not. If we are to exist and live, we require healthy relationships that can teach us how to know and expand ourselves. How we speak to ourselves, the opinions we have, and labels we give ourselves are a telltale sign of how we manage ourselves and will determine how we choose to share and treat others. I like to base this on the three phases of creating relationships, which is widely used in business networking, and I’ll use here to show how we love ourselves.  An example of this is the Know, Like, and Trust Factor.  To have a successful relationship, consider that if you understand these three phases, and use them on yourself and others to create relationships.  

There’s no difference between having a relationship with yourself or another person. Having a relationship with another person gives you a mirror to see yourself. It’s important that we take these phases, put them into action, and then practice them. Adopting these steps will help you build meaningful connections which can result in meaningful, stable relationships.  

Step 1: Know

Just like you would get to know another human being, it’s important to get to know yourself. It’s important to know yourself in a way that allows you to know and share what you’re about.  What you say about yourself becomes law in your universe. So asking yourself questions is important to know and understand what you’re saying about yourself and how you show up in the world amongst your friends, colleagues, family, and everyone.  Such as:

-What do I do?

-What do I know?

-Where am I from?

-What am I interested in?

-What inspires me?

-What am I committed to?

-What do I care about?

-Who am I as a human being?

-What do I love about my life? Myself? (This one’s my favorite)

As we all know, there are a million-and-one questions one could ask and know about oneself. However, the key is to be able to share your discoveries so that others can be related to what you know about yourself and, in turn, feel free to share themselves.

The more you know about yourself, and the more you can share, the more open and secure you will be. Personal freedom provides a space for others to know you and, in turn, you will get to know them.  However, there are no guarantees.  No one has to share themselves with you.  Consider what it takes for you to learn about yourself.  It might’ve not been easy.  It calls for a particular level of trust which brings us to step number 2:

Step 2: Like

The “Like” I’m talking about is how you feel about yourself.  It’s not the kind of “like” where you compromise yourself because you want to be validated.  That kind lives as no respect; no sense of self  “like me; please like me.” The kind where one is not very confident and will compromise themselves.  That is not the same  “like.”  

“Do you like yourself?” is one of the first questions I often ask my clients. What I’ve found is some people have a difficult time with this question.  If you experience hesitation, take a long pause, or hear crickets when you find yourself sitting in your head not being present, waiting for answers; then this should be a clue to you that you might not like yourself.  

This kind of person excites me and saddens me at the same time.  A person that likes themselves, usually answers the question as soon as it’s asked. There’s no hesitation; they’re not making themselves wrong.

Am I pleasant?

Am I respectful?

Do I do as I say I will when I say I will do it?

Do I have things in common with others?

What are my values?

Can I trust myself?

Do I accept myself?

Am I likable?

Am I generous?

Do I find myself attractive?

Do I care about myself?

Do I nurture myself, my dreams, and aspirations?

How are my confidence and self-esteem?

How do I see myself?

These questions seem easy. However, if you can’t answer them, you might find yourself experiencing difficulty sharing with people.

Step 3: Trust

Trust is the fuel in your tank of life.  If you trust yourself, you can and will trust others, as you ultimately know that you’re the person that is choosing to trust.  You know that you’re the one that is responsible for your belief to believe in trust.  With that, you create a sense of freedom.  You have power and, you can, in turn, depend on yourself to take care of yourself and ask the right questions, so you don’t wallow in regret and mess.  Trusting yourself provides you the power to listen to your instincts and follow your wisdom, discover the places that get activated; for instance, your gut when you don’t feel trust. You make yourself your authority on what is right for you.  Which helps develop the confidence that you can provide others. You’ll go within yourself rather than looking for answers outside yourself or from others; always being aware that no one has your answers.  However, not negating that there will be times when you’ll have to seek guidance from others. Seeking help will be a form of contrast in areas of your life that you are unfamiliar.  People will give their tuppence worth; ultimately you still have to choose what’s true for you based upon your level of self-trust.

Do I trust myself?

Do I trust my behaviors? Habits?

Can I trust myself to handle life challenges?

Do I trust and stand for myself?

Do I trust and believe in myself?

Can I trust my judgments?

Can I trust that I’m working in my best interest?

Do I believe that I’m growing and developing as a human being?

Do I know if I have trust in myself?

Can I be trusted?

Do people trust me?

Do I honor my word?


Consequently, until you have gone through these three phases personally, you will have a hard time going through them with others.  Without self-trust, you will always be looking outside of yourself, consider that you’ll experience challenging times growing, creating, and developing yourself.

Have faith, stay strong, and be interested in yourself so that you can be interested in others.  

From time to time you may feel as though your life isn’t working.  One thing to remember is that you’re not an object nor are you static.  You are a fluid human being who is forever changing, growing, shifting, and transforming in your life.  

Be consistent and play with these phases. Commit know, like, and trust to memory. Go easy, and most of all have fun, own your voice, speak your truth, and Live Life Your Way!

If you want to start exploring yourself a bit more, don’t forget you can sign on to my website, to schedule a FREE 15 minute Hello Call at anytime.

Love yourself. Until next time!

You Have The Light, We All Have The Light

Natural landscape and sun rising at skyline

For a long time, I could not grasp conversations about the Light.  Your light, “She shines so bright”. “Your presence lights up the room”. “She brings the light.”  “She’s so bright”, and so on. What I used say about myself instead was: “I bring the party!” I never thought of myself as someone who brings the light. People would often talk about this concept with me and I had no idea what the light meant.  It would make me feel uncomfortable; I thought they knew something I should know and I just didn’t.  I would get frustrated – not angry really, just uncomfortable. However, I really had no clue about what the light meant.

I was used to hearing priests, vicars, and people of the clergy speak about the light and I’ve read about the light in the Bible.  I always thought the light was something that only people who were deeply religious experienced.  But I started to rethink my ideas when I started to hear it being said to me.

I was embarrassed because I did not really consider myself a “good person”.  I was the girl that always got into trouble in school. I was the sneaky, giggly girl with my conniving face, always cracking jokes.  I became the girl who was known to be a distraction.  Only good people or good girls had the light, people that could focus, pay attention and follow rules.  Not me.  I loved to giggle and laugh and I attracted (and distracted) many people in my desire for fun.

I now understand that everyone has the light and everyone is here to shine their light. It is the Godly, spirit light; no matter what you believe in, it still shines.  “You have a light”, I’d hear from complete strangers, people I just met, people I worked with – all kinds of people clued me in on this.  I’ve also heard you have a light that shines all over the place.  In the beginning of my understanding, I would think: “what the hell” they are talking about? To be honest, I was uncomfortable because I knew intuitively that the light came with some kind of responsibility that I did not know and I didn’t want to take on. I also knew I would find out and have to deal with it eventually.  It made my stomach hurt, triggering congestion in my solar plexus. I wanted to throw up but never could, and luckily the feeling would eventually pass.  Writing this article and sharing about the light, I feel vulnerable and exposed and still want to throw up to this day.

In life, sometimes understanding takes a (colloquial) minute for things to register – by register, I mean grow into a full understanding where it goes from theory to practice and then assimilation.  I soon started to realize what the light truly meant.

I have a light.  I started to own my light, fully embrace its power and build my confidence.  I started to do the things that were important to me, no matter what it looked like.  Honing my truth was not easy, and I had to take risks and be willing to fail, to feel hurt.  I did not and still do not want to feel hurt, disappointed or rejected.  I had to be willing to experience these lessons, and as a Personal Life Coach, I had to be a model for who I was teaching through my work.  Now don’t get me wrong here – I have my own unique journey, and as a Personal Life Coach, I respect that people each have their own journey.  I didn’t want to be like everyone else – knowing that I am just like everyone else, it is like fashion, we want something new and unique only to realize that everyone else is wearing NY black, we all have the ability to choose and make choices, take risks and fail.

I’ve seen the light in babies, I feel the light in people and I know that all people have this light somewhere inside themselves.  My clients learn to harness this energy by doing the things that expand their life and light when they work with me on their goals and partner with me as their Personal Life Coach.  I started to experience my own light and feel it, when I let go of my fears and concerns about things I could not control.  I started to understand and learn how to build my light.  It is built by the good, positive energy that we give to the world through our thoughts, actions and deeds.  I started to understand how to gain light. I did so by focusing on my work, coaching clients, saying generous compliments, sending out positive energy, loving myself and enjoying my work.  All of these actions honor both my clients and my own gifts. I see the light when I am happy and even when I am not as happy, and I know this light will never disappear.

I love when I have experiences which I now celebrate and call “Kiss Noreen Day”.  One Wednesday morning, at the Business Networking International Group (BNI), I was awarded the Golden Microphone by one of my colleagues after he had won it the prior year.  He awarded it to me for supporting him in an area of his life that was affecting his business and impacting his confidence.  I was truly honored and this was another opportunity to build even more light.  I appreciate love and light, I appreciate that he was able to accept my coaching, hear my suggestions and take necessary action to transform his life and business.  For me, making a difference as a Personal Life Coach is what I dedicate all of myself to.  I love it.

Today, I honor the gift of being a Personal Life Coach.  I honor my light profoundly, and because of this discovery, I can fully honor the light in my clients and everyone around me.  I love my clients and encourage people to see their own light and grow it.  Being fearless, forgiving others (and themselves) and displaying strength helps them expand their confidence and self-esteem.  I love the light, and I honor the light so that the light will honor me.

Here are parts of the past that we love to dwell on and sometimes wallow in. The present is where life exists; it’s what is happening now and is alive. The future is what we pray, hope and desire to live in and get to.

The past has teeth – or maybe dentures

The past has really strong teeth. The bite of the past can be one that is either relished or resisted. The bite depends on whether your teeth are real, or if they are dentures.  The strength of the past is clever, as it works with all human emotions.  It also works with our perceptions of the world – not the way things truly are but the way we see it or believe it. If we are stronger than the bite of the past, we display the courage to let go of the past and cut off the supply of nutrients it requires to feed off our memory.  Doing so will then lead us to making more realistic, workable choices. Our minds automatically use only the parts of the past that it thinks are valuable and rarely allows us to play in the now. Before we realize it, we take the same small steps into the future we have always taken, which rapidly become our past again.

The past can resemble an elderly person who has lived life from a place of complete joy, or it can look like a place of pure sadness. One of these pictures is happy and full of life, able to see things in a new way that brings continued happiness and joy. On the other hand, the person who has chosen to live an unhappy, distressed life sees everything as a burden, where every day is heavy and they are depressed, angry and don’t want to transform their situation; they are dying inside and out. They aren’t willing to attempt anything new or see life as a series of opportunities.  The past runs their life and they cease to grow.

The present is full of possibilities

Life in the present is spontaneous, open and full of possibilities.  The past is worthless and has no real place in the present. The past thinks it needs to be there in order to “protect” us.  In many ways, this is a good thing, because otherwise we would get run over, or fall down the stairs, etc. The present, however, is committed to the things that bring us joy, and moves life forward step by step, moment by moment.  The present is full of endless possibilities and where issues are forgiven and put aside; when a lesson is learned, what results from that situation can always be useful. There is never any right or wrong answers; there is only what actually happened. The present allows us to live our lives from a very powerful place, with a deep sense of awareness that creates a life of creativity, imagination and wow! The present makes room for trusting our intuitions, and is a place where many doors are always open in the now. It is place where we can live with a fresh outlook. In the now, all issues become relatively easy and accessible to us, helping us to achieve our goals that much faster.

The future makes no promises

The future makes no promises; it merely depends on one’s perceptions of life. Its view depends on how one holds onto that gentle glimmer of hope. The future has lots of different textures.  Some are soft and smooth, and others are hard and rough. The textures of the future are like the textures of life.  It all depends on the ones that one wants or feels attached to.  The future also can be held in the grip of fear – fear of the past.  Fear of repeating past mistakes.   The future makes no promises that your goals will be met, and it is always met in the now.

The future is patient; it allows for one step at a time in the now.  It likes the structure of making plans.  However, it is more likely to work out when a plan is flexible, yet unwavering in its commitment, and dedicated to being free from any type of attachment.  This is no easy task!

The future likes when you are clear about your requests and do not operate from a perspective of complaints. In combination with the present and the universe (life unfolding moment by moment), such a way of operating can only bring what is desired. It is required that you monitor your thoughts and remain present, free of doubt and fear, meticulous and present to negativity that enters your thoughts. Being free of all concerns is truly an impossibility – what is possible is noticing that you have doubts (or fears, concerns or considerations) and put them off to one side (do not operate from those concerns/considerations) because this is how you sustain your power. This means you can just be human and be superhuman at the same time.  To be both though means that you must be able to catch yourself when you do (or think) the things that don’t work for you.

The more authentic you are, the more you become aware of the powers of the past and what is in your now; only then can you feel the present clearly.  The future will take care of itself because of the observations and declarations you make in the now. You will see that the trio will be obedient to your wishes; keep in mind though that the past is always poised to infiltrate into whichever way you choose to go.

The past, present and future all hold incredible power. By using your mind to catch yourself, you can learn discipline and work consistently in the now! The key is working only in the NOW, as everything else is either in the past or the future.  These are places where you have absolutely no control, so there is no need to be concerned about the past or the future at all!

Noreen Sumpter


Be Thankful

Thanksgiving background. Autumn fruit with Thanksgiving letters. Thanksgiving dinner

Today is a day for giving thanks.  I woke from my bed this morning feeling emotionally challenged. In my daily practice of gratitude. I thought about Thanksgiving.  In that moment, I choose to see Thanksgiving for what it means to me.

I’m not American and I often forget about it until the week before.  However, I saw my gratitude for my life in all its iterations. Whether, in its present state of being up or down, life going the way I want and or not at all how I’d like.  Either way, I am grateful.

I’m grateful for the amazing opportunities this year. Grateful for love. Being in a relationship, which at times was beautiful and other times not.  Grateful for learning to keep my heart open, when at times I wanted to put it in a vault, slam the door and keep it there – Thank you

I’m grateful for having the opportunity to expand my capacity to give, receive love and be open in ways that I never experienced as possible.

I’m grateful to have loved people who have not always loved me back the way I wanted, yet loved me the way they could. (I’ve been that person. I now have a view from both sides of the love table.) I am thankful for my family. For the love, I have for my brothers though their love seems so distance.

I am grateful for the people and friendship that are no longer physically present in my life. Friends who have supported me with my dreams no matter how dreamy. When times were not so good or great, you will never be forgotten and the memories we created will live in my cells – for they have helped me grow.

I am grateful and thankful for my health for Diabetes even though I wish it were not there.  I own it, I accept it and I will manage it completely.  For the pain of exercise walking/running moving the tool which is my body and being able to forgive myself when I didn’t.  For being able to make myself right where as before I would have trashed myself for failing and given up altogether.

“I’m grateful to know love’s secret. To receive love it must be given with no thought of its return. Love is a gift that no return is demanded.”  Og Mandino

For my economic challenge, I am grateful for learning and putting into practice the understanding that money is a tool and it is not an actual measure of my worth.

I am grateful for all the books, that I’ve read and for the authors, teachers, lovers, friends for if your dream did not manifest, I could not expand.

The history of Thanksgiving might not be so relevant these days.  However, the sentiment is still important.

Giving thanks. I give thanks for the power to love, think, will, and laugh, imagine, create, plan and speak.  I give that for choosing to honor my gifts knowing that I can choose to cry for my unfulfilled dreams, let failure beat me down, let circumstances trample my self-esteem, sacrifice my personal potential for the illusion of security, dishonor my individuality, deem myself incorrect and or I can misuse my talents or hide them in a trunk (Hell No).  I am grateful for the knowing and the actions that I can take.  Thank you for my humanity and the humanity of us all on this planet.

So on this Thanksgiving Day, If you wish, find one thing that you can be authentically thankful for and be thankful and then share it with another soul.

Noreen Sumpter

Personal Life Coach


Identifying Core Values: What Do You Choose to Live By?

As I grow as a person/human being, it is important to understand values from which I develop my world and my life. No one has to agree with my values.  However, I have to share them.  These are the 20 core values that I choose to live by.

Fun, laughter and joy are important to me.
Fun, laughter & joy are important to me.
  1. I love myself freely so I can love others
  2. Making myself right so I will not make others wrong
  3. Embracing my dreams, so I can live into my visions
  4. Honoring my difference and rarity
  5. People can say whatever they want as I am in control of the meaning I make in my life
  6. Having a curious mind and trusting myself
  7. Being a lifelong learner and discovering what works for me
  8. I am enough and I have enough and there is enough
  9. Expressing my passion, owning and being responsible for my drama
  10. Having the courage to have courage and knowing sometimes I have fear
  11. I am grateful for my life and all that happens
  12. Knowing I have free will
  13. Knowing I have choice and I make my own choices
  14. I am a blessing
  15. I am a reflection of the beauty and the beauty that surrounds me
  16. I have many gifts and I am generosity it is an important tool for me
  17. Having healthy relationships are important
  18. Fun, laughter and joy, happiness with myself
  19. Compassion with myself and others
  20. Living life my way, with my truth, is important

What are your core values and what do you choose to live by? I would love to hear them.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach


The day the planes hit the towers was a day I will never forget.

I was in a BNI meeting in the Grand Central area, when one of the members came into the meeting laughing and saying that the World Trade Center has been hit by a plane.  Now, I did not think that was funny even if it had been his idea of a sick joke.  As I looked at him in disgust and horror I said “That’s not fucking funny”.  Cut my eye (dirty look) and continued in the meeting. I had no idea whether a plane had hit the WTC was true or not until I went outside and saw a television in I think a bank and there it was as plain as the nose on my face the tower on fire.  A plane crashing into the World Trade Center.  My thought instantly was about my friends who worked at the Landmark Center in the World Trade Center.  Were they ok? OMG, I was supposed to be there at 10:00am for my Introduction Leaders Assisting Agreement.  Surely, this was not real, I thought to myself.  It couldn’t be.  My mind was in a tizzy trying to connect the dots and have this all make sense.

My first thought was there was no way I was going to go back down town.  Let alone go across any bridge.  I saw people on various televisions that I passed walking across the bridge covered in dust and papers and ashes strewn in the air.  I was not going to walk across that bridge.  My thought was God only knows what could be waiting on the bridge and then the next thing was all the ash, God only knows what’s in it.  I really don’t need that on my body.  I decided to go as far uptown as possible.  Whatever they were bombing, I doubted they would go uptown.  That was my thought.  I started walking, I had a plan that morning.  I would go to my Bloomingdales to return a suit that I had bought because I had gotten the same suit at Century for 50% off the original cost.  So I decided then even if it was the end of NY, I would return the suit as it gave me something to do, until I tried to work out what to do.  So I walked to Bloomingdales.  Please don’t ask me how I got there.  All I know is I did, I got there in a daze.  I could not stop crying.  While in Bloomingdales, I got into squabbles with foreigners who were talking smack about America.  I was upset as this was not the time for squabbling.  I walked around Bloomingdales like a zombie.  Crying and sitting and crying some more.  It was time to get out of Bloomingdales and make another plan.

My cellphone was not working.  I could not reach anyone and no one could reach me.  Thank God for payphones, what few there were and every now and then I would get a signal. I met a women who was hysterical crying in the Chicken shop.  “You still have to eat in a crisis.”  She was crying because she said she looked Arab and was afraid that she would be attacked.  I hugged her and told her she would be fine.  She was actually West Indian, Trinidadian she was fine.  We ate chicken and cried a little because that was all I could do as I had no idea what to do.

As I was sitting in the Chicken place eating my chicken and crying.  I had a thought.  Where the hell was Will Smith?  How come he did not swoop in and save the day?  My brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening.  I did not have a real past experience of what was happening.  My brain needed to make meaning out of this situation.  Will Smith was my reality.  Independence Day was what was happening in NY and Will would save me and save us all.  Not like a leading lady or any of that stuff, just he would make it better.  Make this planes, fire and the bombs go away by killing whatever Alien has done this.  That was my reality or the unreality of this.

Finally, I was able to reach my ILP coach Laurie who suggested we should all meet at Tim’s house on Park Avenue.  Ok, I walked to Tim’s house his beautiful large studio that was immaculate with his huge bed.  I was emotionally spent that day.  I walked into Tim’s house and plopped on his bed and went to sleep.  I wake up to them saying lets go to church. I got myself together and we went to a Catholic church.  On the way out of the church walking near Bryant Park.  It was late into the night now and I really wanted to go home.  I happened to meet some people who I recognized from my neighborhood.  It amazing that a crisis brings us close together were we are no longer strangers.  I called to them.  They recognized me just as much as I did them. However, this was different kind of day. Today, we just didn’t nod and go on we connected, were interested in each other’s welfare.  I then said goodbye to my people my coach and Tim, they checked if I would be okay with these people.  I got on the C train or one of those trains and rode home.  The funny thing though, I felt like an alien on the train.  I sat next to a women who I started talking to, she looked me dead in the face and did not respond.  I swear, I felt as though I had died and gone to zombie land because everyone on the train was disconnected.  My train took me home fast and without issue.  I came home where I connected with my neighbors.  Only to discover that a few neighbors worked in the center or close by.  One was late for work that day so the fire turned around and went home, another was at work in a building close by and had witness people jumping to their deaths and bodies exploding on the sidewalk.  She was devastated.  For her, I left my door open and my apartment became a respite for her to express and talk so she could be supported or just to cry and lastly, neighbor upstairs was killed when the building fell down.  It was said, hearsay that she was in the basement when the towers came down trying to get people out.  That was the kind of person she was, providing support the best way she could from me with my bike to people in a bombed building.

I try not to think about 9/11 as a terrible day as I know it was.  I think of the upside if I can call it that.  I think of a city of people who banded together.  To hug, give hope, and continue to make our city great.  I Love New York.  For the people that perished in the World Trade Center.  You are gone and you will never be forgotten.


The Release: Move Life Forward and Create Power, Freedom & Self-Expression

The release flyer 7-21

The Release is very powerful.  People who have done The Release walked away free from (shit). Shit that has been lingering in their lives for an inordinate amount of time.

Look, there is no point in me mincing words. Celebrate your humanity. We are human, after all. We have a lot of shit in our lives that is worrisome to us.

“I have shit that I am still discovering life after 15 years of transformational work. Am I the same person I was 15 years ago no. Do I still have shit? Yes. Will I be unloading shit and creating new shit in life yes and yes”.

Join us for The Releasing of: Old hurts, dead and lifeless relationships, Toxic relationships, Toxic Ties, old agreements, wounds, old barriers, upsets, disappointment, shame, sexual, body, financial. Guilt, not good enough, fear, inferiority, indecisiveness, procrastination, promises, old pattern, unhealthy behaviors, broken agreements with self and others, habits that no longer work, loss.

These are all conversations that one might be hoarding about self that no longer, or have never, empowered or moved your life forward.

Truth, if you are human you have things you want to release. Let’s not belabor this conversation. If you would like to attend, or considering attending, contact:

917 945 5907

The Herbshoppe

394 Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11217

(718) 422-7981

Let’s move life forward and create power freedom and full self-expression. So you can live your life being happy, fulfilled and having made a difference in the world.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Strengthen What Remains

I met Toni Hatton at a conference a few years ago.  We had always “threatened” to do something together and had not up until now. 

I will be participating in her “Strengthen What Remains” Speaker’s Summit on Monday, June 29th.

Who Toni is for me is a dynamic lady who cares about people having what they desire in life.  She is about manifestation.  Toni is a woman who enjoys creating partnerships with everyone she meets.  She loves to share and she is shiny.  The beauty is that she does it  about being an Attractive Thinker. Hence her company is the

It’s not that we cannot have what we desire.  It is that we have a difficult time holding onto our dreams. We get caught up in the time it takes to manifest them.  We get caught up in having them exactly the way we create them and it provides with no room for magic to happen. Everyone has confidence where they are strong. However, there are areas where we are not and in this talk you will discover there is power in pain, nothing in your life is wasted. 

Together, we will break down limiting beliefs, have straight communications, be transparent and most of all we will have fun.  I am offering a free 15-minute consultation to you. You will come away excited to have a conversation that will be the beginning of a life transformation.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

What Do I Stand For?

I stand for love.

I stand for myself and my understanding.

I stand for risk and learning.

I stand for not being afraid to fuck up.

Friends may leave and not forgive the fuck up.

It’s God/Universes way of paring down the baggage

And letting me know they have the right to change their minds.

That’s deep learning.

I stand for fearlessness. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Own the fear, its ugly. Really ugly.

I stand for truth because it always prevails.

I stand for making my life and making my life right.

Sometimes life and the choices I make are right. However, they just don’t work.

I stand for feeling my feelings no matter how much it seems they hurt.

I stand for Victory. Doing what’s right even though I want to throw my hands in the air and say fuck it all.

At the end of it and inside of all of these experiences, I can look myself in the mirror and say, I fucking love you Noreen. You are indeed powerful and you are love.

I can feel good about myself and remain in alignment with the world and all its people no matter what is said.  I can walk the streets of my hood naked and feel the feeling but good with myself. I can express my scars and wounds with pride. I can carry my head high. I’ll smile when I see you. I’ll feel good about myself. I’ll know my worth, my love. I am safe in the world, I’m confident that love is present, I’ll have no regrets, I took the risk. I remain courageous in the unknown. I’ll be giddy with joy, that I’m truly free. Scoop myself up in my arms and say in a loud voice:

“Bring on the next adventure.”

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Fit Mind, Fit Body: Personal Life Coaching While Walking!

walking flyer


Starting June 1, 2015




Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach and resident of Clinton Hill before it was Trendy and FABULOUS.

Noreen was born and bred in South (Saff) East London, England. A Certified Life Coach with over 10 years’ experience, she is passionate, bright, funny and full of energy.  Noreen has spent a large part of her life in Clinton Hill.

I used to be that person, I used promise myself to get out of bed and exercise. Sometimes, I did.  However, it was more like wishing to exercise.  Wishing to get up.  I would often play mind games and try to work out in bed.  Not. I would promise to go out. I’d make every excuse known to man to find a way out. I even created workout buddies and pray they would punk out and they did.

Last year, I was diagnosed with Diabetes and I swung into action, within 6 months my glucose went from 10.5 to 6.4 and lost 40lbs of body fat thus reversing my Diabetes. Sexy, sexy…  Using my knowledge and gifts as a Personal Life Coach, I am here to support others to take action, create a purpose to get in shape by getting out of bed and help you redesign your body using your thoughts and taking actions to have your body be the tool it was designed for.  No more excuses. I will provide you with knowledge to take deliberate actions to live life your way fulfilling your dreams, and desires and rekindling an amazing relationship with your mind and body.

Join me on 3 weekly 45-60 minute walks, where you will move your energy and receive Personal coaching that will empower you to love you and the body you’re in using the Law of Attraction and other transformational tools to create positive results in your life

For more information, Contact 917 945 5907 or

Pay Attention to What is of Value to You

The thing that you’re looking for is everywhere. The moment you know what you’re looking for it becomes available.

Why is this so? It’s because the thing that you want has value to you. It does not matter what the thing is. For most of us it’s a job, business or in my case a man. When you know that you are looking for the opportunities and information become apparent. If you know don’t know what you’re looking for, you will never find it.

It is also true for things that you cannot be straight about. If you can’t say what you’re looking for you’ll will never have it, even if it is something that you might have the opportunity to see every day. I remember dating a guy that drove a big orange diesel power Mercedes Benz. I’d never seen anything like it before in fact, I was embarrassed to ride in it. Anyway, the moment, I started dating him and driving around in his big orange/yellow Benz, it was as though the car was everywhere. Why? Because he drove the car. And as much as I did not like the car, he was important to me, so replicas of his car would show up everywhere.

It is important to pay attention to what is of value to you because it becomes easier to find and or attract it.

I Lost Weight on My FOPA

Screen Shot 2015-03-27 at 4.48.47 PM


I had no idea how fat I was until I lost weight. When I look at pictures of myself, I look like a completely different person. To people that know me, they have done a double take, creep slowly up to me and say my name. “Noreen, is that you. Oh my. I did not know it was you.” That is the constant conversations, I am hearing these days.

Well heck, I don’t even recognize me. I do a double take when I see my reflection. Where on earth did my body store 52 lbs? I had no idea what 52 lbs looked like. I thought it was all in my tummy. I thought that I could keep my butt and lose my tummy. Fat is everywhere and it was in every aspect of my body. Omg, the places where I did not know fat lived it lived. I have never heard anyone talk about where fat lives. Well, I am her to tell you that I had fat on my vagina. My vagina had fat on it. Yes, that might be too much information, but it was information that I would have liked to know about. We talk about bellies and butts losing weight, and it is on my vagina that I noticed a significant amount of weight loss. I had no idea that I would lose weight on my vagina. It was shocking. Not only was my butt going through a transition where it never really felt what it was like to sit on a chair and feel my butt bones reacting. My vagina, or my Fopa (Fat Outer Pussy Area) as my sister and I like to refer to the fat on our public bone also vagina. It was thinner leaner, like lean beef. I have not test driven my new thinner vagina yet. However, I will let you know when I do. I am a little afraid and excited all at the same time.
Anyway, go forward, I lost weight in my cheeks, my armpits, and every place that you could think of where fat lived. Ears, nose, every place. I have bone touching bone.


Yes, I am flabbergasted. I would be lying if I said that I did not miss it. I do, I miss the warmth of my fat. I could wear a tee-shirt under my coat and be warm. Now, I have to layer. Ask me if I like layering, I do not layering is uncomfortable plus it produces way too much laundry.

Losing weight is a strange experience and I am here to tell you that dieting does not work. I thought it would be difficult and actually it was not when I just did it and did not obsess about it.

What I learned in the fat loss experience is that being consistent even though you might not see movement of the needle on the scale changing from day to day one have to be consistent. Some weeks you can lost 2lbs and other 1lbs and sometimes none at all. Consistency is the key to fat loss.

You know what else is funny, people love weight loss stories, and people get really excited for you when you lose weight. I like to say release weight.

Anyway, I am still releasing, shedding and losing. I will keep you posted about my weight loss journey.

Just a quick note. I loved my body when it was fat. I will let you know how my new experience with this leaner body is going.

Be a Happy Woman – Create a Happy World



Did you know that happiness is a choice and you can make up your mind to be happy today? Happiness is a moment to moment choice and with that choice it becomes your expression.

Omg when a women is happy, it is the sweetest thing on the planet. Happiness brings health, which brings wealth and abundance. When you are happy everything that could be wrong is immediately in that moment made right. I am so happy. I am generating myself and creating my mission had having a life filled with Truth, Voice, and Power. “Happy Woman Happy World.” Is alive and well on the planet. Its, Monday morning and I am great. I had my coffee, my allotted 2 pieces of toast that was dripping in butter, and a hardboiled egg. Now, I am at my desk and I am in action.

In my life there are things that are working and things that are not working. Things like, credit card bills, basic bills, I have not yet unearthed the man of my wildest dreams or should I say that he has not yet unearthed me or heard my enormous joyous laugh which will lead him to me. I still have Diabetes and 16lbs left to release off of my body and yet my heart is busting at the seams with joy. I have this vision of stars and fairy dust being sprinkle all over the planet from my heart. Yeah!

Anyway, that’s me. What will it take to have you make up your mind to be a happy today?

You can be happy no matter what your circumstance, the key is to accept them.

  • You can be overweight and happy,
  • Single and happy,
  • In debt and happy,
  • Going through a divorce/breaking up and happy
  • Losing your job and happy
  • Sick and happy

_DSC0008-4All of these things can be happening and you can still choose to be happy right here right now.

You can also support a friend who might be going through these things with your happiness. Happiness is an energy that is shared and expressed. Just as being around someone who is miserable is contagious. Being around people who are happy is also contagious. I used to be a black cloud. I had no idea how I affected others when I was being miserable, until I discovered that I am energy and I can choose to be happy no matter what is going on. I was such as black cloud that people were afraid of me. They could not contribute to me. When I found that out I was really sad. However, the confession to me was proof that I was no longer that person because they had space to share how I impacted their life. Whew! Thank God that’s over.

I have experienced divorce and breakup and I was still happy.   I am single, looking and I am happy, I am living with a dis-ease Diabetes and I am happy working on managing it.

I have found that if I can be happy with all of these circumstances, I can just be happy. Most people feel that they will be happy when the master some desire or need they think of happiness as a side effect. I am here to tell you that happiness just is. Be happy and create a life that lights you up like a bottle rocket.

  • Think about something that makes you happy
  • Make yourself a happiness log
  • When feeling down, remember 2 actions that will make you happy
  • Smile no matter how your feeling – Smile at 5 strangers – Smile for 60 seconds
  • Think of a silly song and hum it to yourself

Stand strong, make an affirmative choice to be happy today! Love you.

Live Life Your Way

Noreen Sumpter Personal Life Coach


Calling In The One (7)

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous. Register now!

Who Do You Think You Are?


I think I’m sexy, all that and a bag of chips.

If you cannot answer this question openly, you might have an issue. If you think the statement is presumptuous then you might have an issue. If you agree with this statement, you might have an issue with others. But do you care? I think I am all that and a bag of chips.

I went out with a male friend of mine the other night who, on making plans, said to me: “look sexy tonight.” I replied with “I am sexy all the time.” He asked “who told you that?” I replied “I did.” He then said, “you’re not sexy until I tell you that.” I laughed. I told him that I am like a self-cleaning oven and I can also self-validate. We laughed. I’m sure for different reasons. I, for my ability to self-validate and he, for God only knows what. What I do know is sexy is a tone, it is a way of being, not something one has to do and you can be as sexy as you choose.

Take a minute to hold that question and let it infuse on your mind then answer this question. Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips? Don’t automatically assume that it’s the kind of “who do you think you are” that belonged to your elders, and makes you feel uncomfortable where you are judging yourself against another person and making yourself wrong.

The kind of “who do you think you are” that I am speaking to and interested in is the kind where you know who you are intuitively and you have the confidence to share it proudly. Actually, it’s so clear you don’t even have to say anything. Its gets reverberated in your life.

It’s an experience of the days you recognize when you’re being so sexy that you hear it whispered in the wind, it’s just who you are in that moment. You are the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips. You know who you are. That’s the kind of “who do you think you are” that I am talking about. It has no words. It’s all being.

“Who do you think you are” can be translated for me: I am a woman, I am black, I am tall, I am English, and I’m a Confidence and self-esteem coach, daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson, 5’8″. “Who do you think you are” has nothing to do with any of those identifiers. That is not the kind of “who do you think I am” that I am even remotely interested in. However, that is not to say that those descriptions are not interesting. They are just facts that I am not interested in. They are the kinds of fact that you share with people to make acquaintances with. The meat and potatoes of whom you are.

The kind of who do you think you are that I am interested is an inside job.

  • What do you love about your life?
  • What are you passionate about?
  • What are you interested in?
  • What do you want to be remembered for?
  • What are you proud of?
  • What do people say they love about you?
  • What contribution have you made and to whom?
  • What’s one thing that no one knows about you and you wish they did?
  • What are you willing to share about yourself?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • What are you excited about?
  • What’s the most courageous thing that you have ever done for another?

The kind of “who do you think you are,” is the kind that rocks your boat and excite you. It’s the question that has you get up in the morning and look forward, it’s the kind of question when you think about it your mouth salivates or your fingers itch and you cannot wait to get back to or share. It is the kind of who do you think you are that you make pictures of it in the air. If you were a cartoon character it would pop out as an air bubble in the sky. That is the kind of who do you think you are that is generates your energy it interesting.

The sad thing is that many of you have had the “who do you think you are” beaten out of you. When the question gets asked of you, you find yourself shrinking, experiencing confusion and feeling put out. Very few of you can answer this question and get excited about sharing. Most of you were taught not to brag about yourselves or your interests, it was as though you never got emotionally fed. You had to find ways feed yourselves which kept many of your interests squashed.

So what happens when you feel squashed, many of my clients experience a hard time going after what they desire. They are good at their jobs, they have successful businesses, make money, but when it comes to their personal needs it gets put on the back burner of their life. They have a hard time going for what they want for fear of not getting it right. Adults need to get things right which gives them no freedom.

Their dreams can get so clouded over they don’t know what they want for themselves and their lives. They have a difficult time with themselves. They have a hard time asking for help and support and don’t believe that they can get it. They also feel that something is wrong with them if they seek the support of a coaches or a support system for many they don’t believe they deserve and they will sabotage their successes by not doing the work. However, when this becomes clear with commitment and understanding of their behavior they flourish. This sabotage is because they are always the person doing the helping and are confused and frustrated when they need the help. Lots of confusion and fear kick in.

Most of all you’re afraid to go after what you want as you are so afraid that you will be less attractive seen as aggressive, in some cases odd if you go after what you want with fervor you fear you might will be all alone you can’t have a life of, fun, happiness or a life partner with your endeavors.

It is important to really think about who you think you are. What is important to you? It is important to gain clarity and live in the world that you create for yourself with your rules. When you know what is important to you and take the steps develop the confidence to go after it you will be confident in the world of who do you think you are. It will not only be a thought it will become your reality. Also, when you know who you are you will learn that you are an evolving individual who is and can recreate yourself as often as you like. If you feel that you’re sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, you will be a bag of chips and all that. Furthermore, your way of being will echo it in the world.

Who do you think you are? Think about it and be it.

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach


Calling In The One (7)

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous. Register now!

How to Stop Judging Yourself


We are all guilty of judging ourselves at one time or another and at times we are harder on ourselves then we would be with others. Thinking about how you would treat someone else in the same situation can help. Pretend you saw someone commit whatever sin you are judging yourself for. What would you think of what you witnessed? Would you think they were stupid? Would you even care?

The Spirit and the Universe never judge us, so why do we have the right to judge ourselves? What standards are we judging ourselves against? If you have a high standard of judgment your going to judge yourself harder and much more unsympathetically than anyone would ever judge you. As humans, we judge ourselves about everything. We judge our actions, our thoughts, our feelings, and we even judge our dreams. In turn, we judge others based on our own visions; then we judge ourselves for judging other people. It is a form of madness created out of confusion.

We live in a real world made up of mistakes, learning and evolving. What a beauty it is that all people learn differently and at different times. Our ideas and thoughts are just like flowers: some come up and bud early, some bud and bloom later, some go half way between budding and blooming then die. Some just die as seeds in the ground or buds on the vine. It is not right or wrong, it is just what happens.

Many of us internalize the criticism we learn from our parents and friends. We transfer those judgments to other people who we feel seem to judge us. However many of the people that we project onto act as our mirrors and reflect our own disappointment.

I have heard people describe situations in their life as wrong. Nothing is or was wrong, it just didn’t turn out the way they wanted it to. They see what happened as some form of punishment from God. They see God as a stern parent that gives out rewards and punishment, rewards if you do well and punishment if you do wrong.   The God that I know did not create morals, people did. Our spirit does not dish out judgment, it never judges us. The spirit gives us opportunities to balance and learn. If we made a mistake we can create an opportunity to balance it. What if we gave ourselves the same opportunity that the spirit gave us? We could give ourselves the same opportunity to stop judging ourselves.

The higher our ideals, the more prone we are to become to self judging. We experience pressure when we are always trying to improve ourselves by living in the world fearing that we will fall short or not meet our own standards.   What if we looked at our high visions and discovered that we had the lowest self-worth. The more we judge ourselves, the more people we attract that criticize us and make us wrong.

Judgment blocks energy and blocked energy sets up resistance, makes us defensive and we end up holding on to negative patterns. When you release judgment it opens a way for you to transform your life.

What would it be like to live the as best you can, accept your mistakes, learn from and do a little better each time? What if you completely accepted yourself and others for all they are and all they are not? What if you accepted your mistakes, learned from them, what kind of life would you have? What if there was nothing to prove and there was just a great life to live. What could your life look like if you were to Live Life Your Way?

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life.  They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way.

“Live Life Your Way”

Call 718-834-9450 or e-mail

It’s The Last Day To Sign Up For Calling In The One Unapologetically

Calling in the One Unapologetically starts tomorrow. Are you ready to attract and manifest the love that you have yearned for?

In this life-changing nine-week workshop, you learn and discover the love that truly makes you happy. Each session in the Calling in “The One” Unapologetically is designed to help you identify and remove the inner blocks that have kept love from being rooted in your life.  The workshop will provide you with a progressive path to become free, clear and open to your life — where loving relationships manifest.

Are you ready?

Sign up today


Calling In The One Unapologetically – January 15th, 2015

Summer breaks (10)

In 2014 for one year I have been leading Calling in the One Unapologetically, a workshop for women who are looking to expand their capacity to give and receive love in their lives. This workshop is so much fun and very valuable. It is a high level and rewarding workshop.

The women in the workshop are phenomenal, they come from all walks of life and all ages. They are dynamic, sexy, articulate and amazing. They come together with the sole purpose of finding a partner and creating their best life. They make no excuses for what they want in their romantic relationships, they are ready to discover what it is that they are doing or not doing, that is at the root of them not fulfilling or having intimate relationships with a man or woman of their dreams.

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These are women who are willing to clear out the obstacles that have been holding them back from love. They are creating their best life to bring in the perfect partner. This workshop is powerful and it is not for the faint of heart, it’s for woman who are committed to being in relationships that are vulnerable and courageous. It is a live and direct workshop.

If you are a woman who wants to sit back and wait for a relationship to come to you, don’t bother registering. This is a seminar where the woman are like surgeons, they get scrubbed up and are ready to go to work honing their skills and take massive action for what they want.

The workshop is for 9 weeks, at the cost of $250.00 and it starts January 15th 2015 at 7:00pm. The location is 500 8th Avenue #1206 New York, NY 10018.

Facilitator: Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach. Certified by New York

If you are interested in finding out more about this workshop contact 917 945 5907 or visit

Calling In The One Unapologetically: Not for the Weak of Heart

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The Calling In the One Unapologetically workshop is complete and we will be starting a new one on January 15th 2015. I could not have asked for a better 2014. I really had a fantastic time leading the workshop this year. Ladies, I have been given a divine responsibility to transform myself and to make sure that women on the planet have courage and truly be able to give and receive love in a way that is personal to them. The women who completed the workshop find themselves in a space of gratitude, love and happiness. They’ve that they have control in all realms of their life – from dating, work and career, their homes community and their environment in a definite way. The women discover themselves fully in all areas of their life and they reclaim their power, freedom and full self-expression.

In Calling In the One, my heart expanded in such a way I could never have imagined. The women, with the support and help of their personal Doula (Woman Servant), expanded themselves in relationships with men, women, work, finances and many other areas. They discovered that dating is just one aspect of loving. In other areas of their life CITOU allowed them to give love and receive love with courage and freedom. They now realize how love and the honesty of love is very important to them and it’s their birthright. However, what they also experience is love as something they already are, not something they must seek; they learn to trust themselves and share it.

In Calling In the One Unapologetically the women who have participated range in age from 20’s to 60’s; they come in on an equal footing. Everyone comes looking for ways to transform themselves and create love in their lives. Some of the women have never had long-term relationships, some are 40- somethings who have never been married, and some have been married one or more times. We have lesbians and transgender people. They are no differences; all are expanding their capacity to give and receive love – powerful love. Calling In the One Unapologetically is for all women: married, single, gay, straight, transgender – women. I make no bones about it, it is for all women.

In Calling In the One Unapologetically, the word Unapologetically is added to have women see that they do not or never ever have to apologize for what they desire in life. Every area in life can get transformed in the workshop, whatever is important to you, so you can live a life fully engaged in all areas, never stalled waiting for one thing to happen before you can do another thing.

In Calling in the One Unapologetically, rejection is struck from the dictionary. Rejection is a universal concern for all people: In Calling In The One Unapologetically, speaking and acting without certainty is powerless. The women discover that rejection is a method of incongruity. They discover that they cannot be rejected by anyone except themselves. Many of the women who take Calling In the One Unapologetically, although they are committed to creating love in their lives, they have not experienced love in a good while. Many of them have not dated for a number of months or years and have been on the cycle of dating since they were teenagers. One of the big things that becomes clear in Calling In the One Unapologetically is that without self-love there is no love at all. When self-love becomes evident, that is when life and love opens up.

In Calling In the One Unapologetically, women experience all aspects of dating, from the experience of relationships ending, and choices being made. Apartments being made over, relationship from out of the blue being completed, all kinds of unexpected and inspiring occurrences. This is a magical workshop where anything is possible. If you are interested in growing and expanding your capacity to give and receive love powerfully, join us:

Calling in the One Unapologetically starts January 15th 2015.

Heart-Pounding Calling in the One Unapologetically Celebration – Thank You Deeply

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Wow, wow, wow. What fun, what happiness did I experience last week! It was heart pounding. I was so excited to have the women in my workshop complete yesterday. We celebrated and shared our hearts out. It was completely amazing. The women who attended were beautiful generous and amazing. They shared so effectively, you would have thought that after a few minutes that they were in a mini version of Calling in the One Unapologetically.

We ate and of course we drank Prosecco, sweeties what’s life without a little bubbly? I of course dressed beautifully in gratitude of our party. (Give me a reason to dress up) Calling in the one Unapologetically is not for the weak of heart. It is not for women who are in a constant complaint about life.

Calling In The One Unapologetically is for that woman who is ready to take on her life by creating the love of her life by taking on herself and live a life filled with love, happiness and freedom.

Last night, we registered a woman who had done Calling in the One by herself. She said it took her two years to do all the work. It only took her to a certain place but she did not fulfill on what it she desired. She became overwhelmed with herself. She became one of the first to register why because she was in the right place at the right time and she knew what she had come for. How exciting was that?

Ladies, there is no shame in saying that you want connection, that you want love in your life. I met another woman yesterday who said that she was putting off creating love in her life for 2 years. How is that possible? Love is everything. One cannot put love on pause. She was going to focus on her career. In calling in the one you focus on everything because life is not linear it does not go in one direction. Putting things off of 2 years. Do you want to know there is no 2 years? All that remains is now. Right now. There is not tomorrow there is only now.

Calling in the One Unapologetically, is for the brave. By brave I mean women who have challenges around their life and they are willing to take the small steps to transform their life. I am honored to be the One who has been given this opportunity to give my life to having myself and others go for what they want in their lives.

Calling in the One is for all women. It is for women who love men and for woman who love women. Love is love and the members of Calling in the One are women who embrace choice powerfully. My personal initiative is Happy Woman Happy World. Big love to you all.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

You Ain’t Worth Squat

Don't put yourself out with the trash.
Don’t put yourself out with the trash.












“I ain’t worth squat, shit, nothing.”

These are some of the things that you say about yourself. Maybe it is something that people that loved you said to you when you were not behaving in a way they wanted you to. “You’re a lazy good-for-nothing and worthless.” This is one of my old “recordings” (something that used to play over and over in my mind when I was stuck) and it was one of the things my father used to say to me frequently. He said it because my bedroom was always a mess; it was his way of shaming me into cleaning it up. I felt awful when it was happening. However, it did nothing to inspire me to clean the room or even keep it tidy. I had all kinds of responses for his and critical ways. I would just resist what he wanted me to do. However, I know that it did affect me. It affected me in a way that made me want to be really good at all the things that I put my mind to do. I would always be trying to prove something to myself to prove I was not worthless.

My dad has been dead for a number of years and I am used to having his voice ringing in my head when things used to not go my way. It impacted my life in many ways. If I wanted to lounge on my couch, I could not because I would hear his voice. After recognizing this pattern, I decided to work on this mindset because I was and am not lazy, I had to learn to lounge on my couch in peace! I love to work. However, I loved to work at things that I was interested in. It took a minute to clear up that mess and turn off his voice. I always thought I had to work hard to get the things I desired. I discovered that my self-esteem was low because of those conversations in my mind.

How I was able to address this incessant “tape” was to first notice, then recreate the disempowering thought patterns and then retrain my mind. I had to understand that my life was not a representation of what I had, what I was or what I did. I used to be terrified of making mistakes. I had to transform my opinion of myself. Even though my father tried to pump me up with one conversation, saying that I was worthy, he had no idea that he was disempowering me with another.

Changing my opinion of myself and being present to empowered conversations, I have been able to change my internal conversations from negative to positive. The more I felt positive, the higher my self-value became and I am noticeably confident and powerful. I was not born this way. I created myself through sincere examination and transformation. Only then did I begin to experience more opportunities and take more risks. That’s not to say I do not have fear now. The difference is that I do not let fear control me. As a result, I started to become much more present to my ways of being. I discovered the better I thought of myself the more people and invitations I received (I would get invited to the Ball!). In essence, I am becoming the Ball.

The more positive you are about yourself and your life, the more you will attract what you want, whether it be customers, friends, etc. When you feel good about yourself and you have self-esteem, you develop a sense that you can take more risks.

When you have good self-esteem your level of creativity expands and you are free to create. You don’t need to know anything until a challenge or problem arises. You start to see life as an opportunity to learn, grow and develop.

What are you saying or believing about yourself that is an old conversation, and what have you done, or not done, to change it? Consider it might be impacting your life and self-esteem and creating negative conversations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Calling In The One Unapologetically 4.0 Has Begun!

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Last week I had the profound pleasure of starting my workshop Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU) and it was amazing. The women came in and I watched with awe as their faces beamed with anticipation and excitement. I stood filled with my own anticipation in the back of the room and watched my dreams begin to materialize. I felt my future husband. I saw/felt CITOU being conducted in the islands, women being healed and taking care of themselves and sharing their dreams and desires, of living their life their way, abundant woman filled up with happiness. Noreen Sumpter is making a difference in the lives of all woman. I am excited. I am so hungry for this experience. I could eat them up. You know that saying when you see a cute little baby and you say “I could just eat you up?” That is how I feel about the women in CITOU. I could just eat them up. I love them so much.

The women who have participated in Calling in the One Unapologetically I am proud to say they have created some amazing things, business, houses, poetry, books, fashion, photography, dating, Jobs, all out of love. September 18 will mark our 4th iteration of CITOU and the women who are in this group are exciting and excited. I cannot wait to see what they will be creating going forward.

As for myself, I am having a wonderful time creating the love of my life. I cannot begin to tell you how my online dating is going. Last year this time, I could not buy a date. Over the last few weeks my profile is being bombarded with amazing men. All the men that are contacting me are amazing even if I do not want to date them. The level of generosity that is being expressed to me by these men is staggering. The men are sharing with me things that they say they would not share with anyone. This year, after creating CITOU, I am a space of unlimited love. I am in love with myself and in love with others. I know in my heart that I will be in a relationship with amazing man very soon. I can feel it. I am nervous and excited.

What have I done differently? I created a safe community for other women. I created a space where they can literally leave their crap behind. I created a space that is free where around me they can say anything they so desire and they can create courage, take risks, create actions and take them. They can find their beauty and begin to feel themselves healthy doses of love every day. People, can I tell you, I am in love with life and in this workshop and I found that the love that I am looking for that I want to last a life time. It is my love. My love lasts an eternity. I do not have to look for it. I have it right here with me. My job is to share it and give it away. When I started doing this workshop and doing transformational work, I did not know that I was not acknowledging that I was hurt, my heart with empty and I was afraid. Today, what I have found is that I had unconsciously made up my mind to heal my heart. Then, I did not have the words to describe my feelings. Today, I also know that love may not come when you want, but it is right on time and my truth about love would never have been revealed until I accepted that aching space within me.

The Workshop Calling in the One Unapologetically is the second to the most amazing things that I have ever created in my life.

Come and Join us Thursday September 18th at 500 8th Avenue, New York, NY 10018 Studio #401, at 7:00 pm.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

20 Things To Contribute To Your Life’s Happiness


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Contribute these 20 things to your life. If you practice them, they will make you happy.

  1. Stop all negative thoughts dead in their tracks as soon as they show up
  2. Do not, text, email, or call anyone when you are angry (I am practicing this one)
  3. When angry find the source of the anger and flush it down the toilet.
  4. Know that love starts and ends with you  (Love never ends, that’s why we get mad)
  5. Start accepting that you and your thoughts are the cause of everything in your life
  6. Happiness is a result of how you feel about yourself moment to moment (Is that why my hair is so great LOL)
  7. Cause someone else to be happy and you will be happy (Who wants to be happy? Lets play)
  8. If happiness is something you desire make something exciting happen for yourself instead of waiting for something to happen
  9. Be happy instead of in reaction. The only thing to react to is Joy and laughter
  10. Laugh 20 times per day. (Don’t question it Just do it!)
  11. Be a yes to love, joy and happiness
  12. Be ready to create a space of forgiveness
  13. Have enthusiasm and passion live together in the same space
  14. Honor your freedom and let others have theirs
  15. Spend time being grateful for how happy and great your life is, and if it does not look happy, fake it until you make it.  One baby gratitude at a time (something like, “I’m amazing when I smile”)
  16. The less judgmental you are of yourself the happier you will become.
  17. Do not put limits on who, what or how you love. Just love
  18. Do not complain to yourself or to others (This is a huge one, I still have a hard time with this one)
  19. The more you love the bigger your vison of life
  20. The more love you give away, the more love you receive back.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give.”  Kahlil Gibran

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

What’s Your Self-Accepting Promise?

Accepting yourself is a big step, but it is the most important one of your life.

acceptingAffirmations are part of accepting yourself. Go through your day and say “I accept myself” over and over again.  Keep saying it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.  Eventually, it will start to break through and you will understand that you need to accept yourself.

I encourage you to try writing what I call a “Self-Accepting Promise.” Write down all the things you need to start to believe about yourself.  If you cannot think of anything, take all of the negative things you say about yourself and reverse them.  For example, change “I will never find a good partner” to “I deserve a loving relationship.” Here is my Self-Accepting Promise to myself:

I love myself and that helps melove those in my life and those who come into my life

I will accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.

I am beautiful, loving and kind.

I will not place judgment on myself or others.

My life is a contribution to the world.

Without me the world would not be the same

I will never force love from another.

I am worthy of all relationships that honor me.

For, I am a woman of grace, dignity, courage and joy.

I am a reflection of life itself.

I respect myself and I respect others.

I love myself and so others love me.

I honor myself and so others honor me.

There is no other me ever.

I am compassion for myself and so others are compassionate with me.

I promise myself that I will always speak my truth with love.

I will be forgiving when I have forgotten who I am.

I will be compassion.

I am power, success creative and abundance.

I am fully provided for.

I have fear but fear does not have me.

What is your self accepting promise? I invite you to share your own affirmations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Stop Resisting Your Higher Self And Listen To Your Instincts

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Photo Source:

Do you ever get a feeling of heaviness when you are doing something that you don’t want to do? For instance, there are people who are working at jobs they don’t want or do not like; dating people or hanging out with people who leave you feeling as though you have just run a race with ten sacks of potatoes on your back.

You are not following your higher self, or your instincts. When higher self and instinct speak to you, you feel joyful and happy, giddy with laugher. If you are forcing yourself to do something that is in the realm of “should,” you’re not listening to your higher self or your instincts.

I had a friend who was always negative and you could never tell whether she would be in a happy or a foul mood. We would go out and men would speak to us and she would get into an argument. We would go to restaurants and she would get into a fight with the wait staff or treat them like poo. I hung out with her on and off for years because we were from England and we had a few things in common. It did not dawn on me that we were incompatible, until one night after going out with her I came home drained. I had to ask myself why I’m so drained – did I have a good time? My answer was no.

The universe is a wonderful friend because not long after that, she cursed me out the way she did the wait staff. I listened and when she was done I shared with her that I could no longer hang out with her any more and we ended our relationship. It was that simple.  Simple, yes, and a little difficult too because we do not make friends with people to end the friendship. However, more often than not, people are in our lives to teach us who we were or are. We might not like it and it is okay.  We learn the lesson and we move on.  My energy level went up and I started embracing people who were in alignment with my new energy.  People who love people, people who love sharing and enjoying life, giving and receiving compliments.

Do you find yourself resisting and sabotaging yourself?  Now to answer this question you have to be insightfully straight and honest with yourself. In order to tell on yourself, you have to be willing to feel uncomfortable for a moment, but it’s well worth it.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Who Really Says How Your Life Goes?


What if you had only three months to live, and the only way you could extend your life was by doing the things that you always wanted to do but never did? Take a moment and think about it. The stipulations are as follows: it has to be do-able within three months, it has to be something that you daydreamed about constantly; it has to be something you never fulfilled or completed in the past.

Consider the following:

The first step would be to calm down, because you may be panicking about the impending end.

Think for a moment and pull yourself back together.

Express yourself and don’t censor or edit yourself in any way.

Be how you want to be and create what you want.

It is no one’s business what you choose to do.

It must be something fun that you would derive pleasure from.

It makes you happy and it is important to you and it could if you choose make others happy.

You have only yourself to please.

Ultimately it is nobody’s business but your own.

You do not have to focus on anything other than your daydream and your creations.

These are the rules

  • You must be completely honest with yourself and that may be something you have never done before in a truly conscious way.
  • Full self-expression, it is necessary to unleash your passions and everything that makes you, you.
  • Willingness to fall on your face and risk embarrassment (FYI embarrassment can be eliminated)
  • Speak to someone every week to keep you accountable
  • It must be something you have never done before
  • You have to be willing to fail and fail big.
  • You must be patient
  • You must trust yourself and you cannot ever make yourself wrong (FYI there are ways to resolve it if you do).

You must be willing to experience trusting yourself and creating your dreams so they will materialize. The other side of this experience is that negative thoughts materialize and unlike your daydreams and fantasies, negative thoughts take little or no energy to materialize.  So you must recognize your words have power to create thoughts, and thoughts create actions.

You must be willing to admit when you are afraid. When you do not, your fear becomes worse.  If however, you admit that you are afraid, the fear can disappear and you will discover you have power.  When you admit to your concerns, they too will disappear. When you do not, they stay in your head and they become even bigger.

You must be willing to distinguish each concern and barrier separately, rather than roll them all into one mass, which tends to show up as procrastination.

The Flipside

The flipside, if you really only had three months, you would start believing in yourself like never before. You would transform your mindset and start playing in the universe; then you would realize it is an abundant playground. You could start believing that you are the captain of your own life. You create and generate your life, job, relationships, finances and you can really have whatever you want. This is because you do it already.  (Don’t believe me, just look at yourself, your nice apartment, crappy apartment, money, no money – you created all of that!) You would either realize that you are amazing, you are beautiful and there is nothing ugly, bad, broke or fat about you.  You would become naturally generous with yourself which in turn would transfer to others who would want to be around you so much more.  Let’s imagine that you created a fabulous week for yourself. You had a wonderful experience this week because on Monday you said everything you needed to say, you were honest with yourself, you honored you word, you did all the things you said you would do. You generated courage to follow through and it’s now Friday and your week went the way you planned it and it all turned out really well.  What’s next?  You get to say.  You always get to say how it goes.

Do What You Want – But Take Care Of Yourself!

The truth is you will always have time for busy. Do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on.  Especially if you are a woman that wants a huge life.  There will always be emergencies where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out.  I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work, and you period has not come, and you have a medical emergency, you feel guilty about what you did last night, last week and last year. The world, hell the Universe will be screaming for your attention.  I am getting sick just writing this list. These are 13 ways to Live Life Your Way and live by your own design.

happylife No is what you say to anything that is not important to you.

Laundry is not important to me.  Clean clothes is what important you don’t have to do it, you can give it to someone else to do it.  People who do not stand for me and who want to make me feel bad about myself you know the people that want something and guilt you into it.  Your mother, boyfriend, friends even the mailman.  You know it’s bad if the mailman can guilt you into stuff.  Things that are not important to you and not necessary to you.  Say No, Good way to handle that is to say I prefer and to do that.

Asking for Help

Asking for help is really important.  A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help are you one of these people.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask for make sure that you use it.  Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then not using it.  Most people want to help want to revel in seeing you successful and happy.  People when helping it makes them feel useful, important and important.  You can ask for anything you want anything.  Know when asking People they have to right to say yes or no.  People are grown and responsible for the choices they make it is not you position to choose for them.  Just don’t underestimate people and try to take negative advantage of them.

Stay on contact

It is important to stay in contact with your friends.  No matter the length of time that you have know the person.  People like to be acknowledged and to feel like they are friends.  There are 6+ billion people on the planet and if you do not feel like you have no friends, no one loves you then you know what you are not being a good friend.  You might be expressing love and sharing love.  Love is addictive.  Giving love and expressing love is a good feeling.  Try it.  Send a message, send a text letting people know that you are thinking of them makes a world of difference in another life.  It does not have to be a two lunch it could be a 5 min checking in just to see how they are doing.  Try this on for size,  send out I was thinking out you messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back.  No it is not weird.  I am doing 5 right now.  Stop what you doing and just do it.  The 1st five people in your phone to start.  I’m back, just sent out 8 instead of five.  Got 3 responses already in 8 mins.  Generally if they are in your phone most are friends.   You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone, most will be okay about it.  However, keep in touch with people are best as YOU can it will keep you happy and keep you inspired around life, making friends and being inspired.

Surround yourself with things that you like.

Surround yourself with only the things that you enjoy or like.  Do not buy or bring into your emotional space things that you do not enjoy or like as they was pull emotional energy from you.  When you in a dumpy mood or low energy having things around you that you enjoy that you can focus on will and can cheer you up and bring up your energetic level.  Pinterest is an awesome app as you can put it on your computer your phone and you can get little boost of inspiration.

Gratitude List

I usually provide this as a tool to my clients, at first they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do then they do the gratitude list as chore then they.  When you are being grateful about what you have in your life.  You do not have time to whine about the things you don’t have.  Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences whether you are making, or the result of the activities of negative people around you.  Recognize that you have to power, and put it into constant use until you have created for yourself a wall of immunity against negative influences in your own mind. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work on you through you subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect.  So having a daily gratitude list, even creating one where you share back and forth with friends of like mind will empower you creating dialog instead of monolog where the negative thoughts do not have a chance to pollute you mind.  Gratitude has power to move you forward.  Keep a journal for your gratitudes where  you can go back whenever you need a little boost.

Keep a Planner for your life, and your fun times

Keeping a planner makes you life less crazy.  It is good practice to put all the things that are important to you also adding things that are fun.  Many people put in doctors appointment, work things, children but they don’t really schedule time for fun.  Get in the practice of adding into your planner time for fun.  It is a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you have schedule time for vacation, but it is also great to see inside of your day that you have scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own.  When you keep a planner is it important to schedule everything so you don’t have any shocks surprises and missed meetings.  Once you have got that the difficult part will be to learn to use the planner in a way that is effective and does not make you regret the appointments that you have made.  Balance things, and give your self the right to say no thank you to an appointment.

Keep track of your wins

Write down you wins.  Weekly wins are important so that you can have a real record of your wins and your achievements.  I got a write up in an online magazine that’s  a big win if I don’t write that down.  I will never remember.  Make a habit of writing down your wins and achievement’s  write down you milestones they will help you when you feel that you have hit a wall in your personal achievements’ at the end of the day you can check in.

Your appearance: Make sure you like you

Also make sure that you like what you wearing and that you have your own personal style and that you look the way you want.  That your style is yours.  You don’t have to have the latest blah blah, but it is good to have your own look that unique to you.  With regard to your clothes take on your body, do you feel good about your body, are you a little overweight or a lot overweight, but you wear your body well.  Do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them.  Then work on them or shut up.  You style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Mousiness will never look great in best of clothes.  Generate your energy.  You could be wearing sweat pants and give an air of confidence where you are wearing them they are not wearing you hiding something about yourself.  When you go out to shop make sure you shop for what you really like, bring a trusted friend who can share with you how the item looks.  However, truth is if you are confident in your image you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

Create a go to Group

Have a go to group. A go to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust, that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you.  These woman are a bigger stand for your life than you are and they will support you to get back on the tracks of life.  They will remind you whether gently or they will shake up if you need a good shake up.  If you cannot afford a coach, a go to group is perfect.  These woman must not coach you or tell you what to do, what they will do is remind of who you are and the commitment and goal that you have or are creating for your life.  They will provide you with a pep talk or a reality check.  

Do something silly that makes you laugh until you tummy hurts

Go and see a really stupid move, there are a ton of them out there.  When you go to this movie, you should laugh naturally, when I mean naturally I mean at your own level and length of time.  Be you, do not go to the movie and do what everyone does, the movie laugh track, when everyone starts are the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.  I went to the movies, with this guy once it was a date.  We went to see Fat Albert  The movie was everything and corney. It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, the guys said “Note to self never take you to see a movie again”  as me if I cared.  I think that laughing in a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the movie, I had a great time and was completely expressed and free.  Laughing is good for you . Laugh often and laugh loud its contagious. Make jokes, engage your peeps, share jokes and laugh at lot.  It makes you feel better and is good for your health.  Every time you laugh a comedian get his chops. Lol.

Be emotionally okay

Be ok with your emotions, you have to emotions so that you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you sad, express it.  However, express it a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  Do go digging for sadness, don’t go dregging up old relationships and add them to your new ones.  If you need a good cry, cry and complete it.  Do not blame other people for your sadness your need to cry or for your crying.  If you stressed out, look at what is causing the stress and create new actions to take to relieve the stress.  Stress in a big killer and I am sure you don’t want to die or suffer some stress induced illness.  Do not cover your emotions express them.  She them responsible.  Release all the emotions, frustrations, and the anger in a responsible way.  You will feel so much better with the release and so clear actions to take.  (Here’s an action step call me and ask me how to clean your stress and get your in action).

Write things down

Conversation and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little book and save your brain cells, ever get those times when you get a great idea, or your hear something.  Or someone gives you the name of something and you think you can remember it.  Well you cannot.  If you have a full life, it is rare that you will remember the thing.  Also, when you can whip out your little book of remembering you actually are telling the other person that what they are saying is valuable enough to write it down.  Don’t waste time trying to remember stuff write it down.

Accept yourself as you are and as you’re not.

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and love yourself every moment of every moment.  Don’t think about things that you have not achieve yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You are very different  and unique from every one else.  You are one of a kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness your path is different from everyone eles.  Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with a some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself you stand in the way of your self-love.  Every time you judge yourself you separate your-self from others.  Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You do not have to change anything about yourself.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Last Chance To Sign Up For Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU)

Few days left to go Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU) – RECORDING

If you missed the introduction on Sunday, you really missed something great. It was amazing, fabulous and wonderful. We sipped chilled Champagne in frosted flutes – like the bubbles and fizz of life – and ate the season’s juiciest fruits to remind us of the deliciousness of life.


We had graduates of the course in attendance and I do not have words to describe the texture and flavor that these ladies brought to the evening. The women who took the workshop had discovered their passion and we all are now passionate about our journeys. They became courageous where courage was missing, now taking risks and walking out on the skinny branches by facing fear in the face. We are women and we have fear, fear does not have us.

CITOU women rock their internal houses like never before.

If you are weak of heart, CITOU might not be for you.

In this workshop you lay your heart on the line, you expose your underbelly so that you can step into the woman that you truly are.
• You speak up boldly
• You tell your truth
• You are listened to with passion and compassion
• Judgment gets left at the door.
• The space is filled to the brim with support; you take on your power
• You get to face your fears no matter what they are
• We have the Vegas Rule – everyone’s confidentiality is protected

At the introduction to the Calling In the One Unapologetically workshop, the guests were honored and cherished and they had an opportunity to get a sense of what CITOU is about from women who participated in the last two courses. The introduction was powerful because not only did the guests hear about the power and magic of the workshop, but the previous participants shared some of their personal experiences. Some women had not dated in a number of years and are now having dates where dating is no longer a daunting experience. Women who for years had been trying to fit into some mythical club, are now members of their own fan club and found their own inner peace.

A woman shared about going on a date with an ex-boyfriend and described how she changed her attitude powerfully by seeing her own beauty and experiencing him afresh – and their get together turned intimate and he told her she was “astonishing.”

A gay woman found that she could either feminine herself up or butch it up when she felt like it, discovering the only rules she has to follow are her own.

Within CITOU, the women discovered a myriad of inner and external gifts they already had but weren’t aware of.

Calling in the One Unapologetically calls you in to look at your life and find out what you desire so you can actually receive it.


CITOU is a 9-week workshop and the next one begins THURSDAY JUNE 26TH 2014 AT 7:00PM


Pearl Studios

500 Eighth Ave

New York, NY 10018
Room 401 


What are you willing to do to put fun back in your life?

Last week I was exploring how the past impacts my life in areas that are so young that I did not know that I even had those barriers. I don’t realize these barriers exist until something triggers a response. I do not have the memory of what happened just the response I created to survive.  I also got to see that even though I am playing and having fun in my life,  I am not really playing in areas of my life that matter to me.  One area is a love relationship as I don’t have a man. I also saw that while I am very serious about my business, there is no play in that area at all.
I also got to see a big fat area of my life where there is no play.  I have no play in the area of money and that I do not relate to money as a fun tool.  My adult life has no real spontaneity of play.  So, knowing that I am taking a look from where I am now and creating where I would like to go. What will it take to upgrade my inner conversations t0 first class so I have a first class that is created with ease, grace and freedom.


There is an old adage that says whatever you want, give it away. So I am creating having a first class life in all areas of my life with a focus of love, and abundance and I plan on sharing this with you.

Photo by AForestFrolic
Photo by AForestFrolic

The questions below are something for you to ask yourself.

  • Where in your life is play missing and what would you be willing to do to put play back in?
  • Answer these questions honestly to yourself. You can even answer them with another person.
  • When you talk with others, are you in monologue or dialogue? Could you share more of yourself by being in a open and free dialogue?  Yes or No?  If yes, try it?

Play exists in conversations and is a back and forth experience.

  • What is your experience of play? Is it hard work, easy or do you just not play at all?
  • Are you having relationships and conversations that are back and forth – free of jumping to conclusions, experiences upsets, releasing anger and losing control?
  • Does playing make you feel uncomfortable?

Think back to when you were a child and were really good at playing:


  • What were your favorite games?
  • When you became an adult, did you notice that you stopped playing in your life? When and why did you stopped playing?
  • What are the nature of the kinds of conversations you are currently having in your life? Are they complaints? Are your conversations exciting and happy? Or are your conversations leaving you exhausted or afraid?


Have you forgot to play in your life?

This weekend I had a fabulous time.  I went to a seminar called Wisdom Unlimited, a community event where you could invite your loved ones and play.  The cornerstone of Wisdom Unlimited is play. People who came got to explore the qualities of a child at play—such as curiosity, wonderment, invention, and engagement – with the maturity and wisdom of adulthood. It was the sheer enjoyment of “being” in the moment of daily life with no motives or agendas. Where does one get to live like that? I feel that this experience will have me growing throughout the year. During the event, I saw people being touched, moved and inspired by their own humanity. They got an opportunity to share themselves without barriers, with people they knew and strangers.
In the seminar, I decided to create a 1st class life. It showed up immediately! At the airport, I was bumped up to a seat with extra legroom. We received free food. I realized on my return that I only spent in total $35 for the whole weekend.  Why? because I allowed myself to be taken care of.  How does one do that? By approaching life differently.  What I am taking on in my bones is knowing that anything I want for my life is right under my nose and all I have to do is reach out and ask.  I am taking on asking without fear and accepting that it comes naturally.

Photo by
Photo by

Do you know that we stop growing unless we deliberately take action in our growth and development? Our lives are a series of conversations that we have with people. If we examine at our conversations, we will get a complete look at that kinds of lives that we are living and creating.  Some of us are not creating lives, as we are stuck in our limiting conversations.  I’ll tell you more of my story next week.

You Have The Power To Create The Life You Want

What state do you have to be in before you seek help to transform your

Napoleon Hill was a great man of our time.  He masterminded with the most
powerful men in the world.  He believed that we had the power to create anything we want.  I agree. We can create anything we want.  He created some questions and here are a few of them. (If you want the all the questions contact me at

Please look these questions over and answer them thoroughly.  Be straight
with yourself. If you cannot answer the questions, ask your friends and
see how they see you.

We all have fears: fear of death, poverty, illness, loss of love, criticism and old age.  It is important that we know that negative influences can
work through our subconscious mind and that makes it difficult to
recognize them.

* Do you like what you do for a living?
* Do you often complain about “feeling bad”? And if so, what is the cause?
* Are you envious of people who excel?
* Do you cater to people because of their social or financial status?
* How much time do you spend working about success or failure?
* Who are you inspired or influenced by?
* Do you permit others to think for you?
* Do you neglect to mentally cleanse until auto-intoxication makes you crazy?
* How many needless disturbances annoy you, and why do you tolerate them?
* Do you resort to liquor, narcotics, or cigarettes to quiet your nerves?
* Do you face circumstances that make you unhappy?
* What is your greatest worry?
* Why do you tolerate it when you have access to coaching what is that stops you from taking it?

These are the questions that I am asking people this week. The more
you know about yourself, the stronger your control over your thoughts.
You have to protect you mind from negative thoughts that drag you off
course when trying to accomplish your dreams.   If you fail to have
control of your thoughts, you may be sure you will not control
anything else.

Can’t Get No Satisfaction

I cannot imagine the thought of having to go out to work and perform a job that I do not like or am not happy with.  According to the Conference Board research group, only 45% of American people are satisfied with their jobs.  That leaves 55%  of the population that are not happy with their job. Can you imagine, a doctor or Health care provider training all these years and deciding that they do not like their job or the people they take care of?  Scary.

Not receiving job satisfaction can have a profound impact on how you not only do your job, but how you are left feeling at the end of the day.  Are you satisfied?

•    Do you think it is important to enjoy your job or are you just in it for the money?
•    Do you think that if you enjoy your job your life is fuller?
•    Is it important for you to be able to express yourself in the work that you do?
•    Do you think that you can either have money or happiness at work, and have to give up one for the other?
•    Do you think it takes courage to go after your passions?

In the past, enjoying your job was considered a foreign concept by some.  Most people were raised to grin and put up with the jobs that they had.  Going for a job that you enjoyed was considered to be stupid. It was only important that you gained security and that garnered you the all important paycheck.

People who are working at jobs they enjoy, enjoy their lives a lot more than ones that just accept their situation.  Today, it is important to create a life that you love and a job that you enjoy.  More people are evaluating what is really important to these days.
What is important to you?

•    Are the things that are important to you things that you can share with others?
•    Are you snuffing out your passion and accepting a second best life or third best life?

It is time to re-evaluate your life and focus on what is important to you.  What are you willing to do to have your job provide you the satisfaction you want?

Go for the life that you want NOW! Stop talking, stop making yourself wrong.
Make yourself RIGHT – Today, Tomorrow, Always. Call me to see how 718 834 9450.

Self Accepting Promise

Accepting yourself is a big step, but it is the most important one of your life.  Affirmations are part of accepting yourself.  Go through your day and say “I accept myself” over and over again.  Keep saying it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.  Eventually, it will start to break through and you will understand that you need to accept yourself.

Your assignment is to write a self-accepting promise.  Write down all the things you need to start to believe about yourself.  If you cannot think of anything, take all of the negative things you say about yourself and reverse them.  For example, “I will never find a good partner” to “I deserve a loving relationship.”  Here is my self accepting promise to myself:

Self Accepting Promise

I love myself and that helps me love those in my life and those who come into my life.

I will accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.

I am beautiful, loving and kind.

I will not place judgment on myself or others.

My life is a contribution to the world.

Without me the world would not be the same.

I will never force love from another.

I am worthy of all relationships that honor me.

For, I am a woman of grace, dignity, courage and joy.

I am a reflection of life itself.

I respect myself and I respect others.

I love myself and so others love me.

I honor myself and so others honor me.

There is no other me ever.

I am compassion for myself and so others are compassionate with me.

I promise myself that I will always speak my truth with love.

I will be forgiving when I have forgotten who I am.

I will be compassion.

I am power, success creative and abundance.

I am fully provided for.

I have fear but fear does not have me.

What is your self accepting promise? We invite you to comment below.

Slowly Down The Fat Hill I Went

When people hear the story of weight loss they only see the final result.  They get all wrapped up in the final goal, and forget that any change is a journey of self discovery.  They get discouraged by the pace of change and criticize themselves if the process is not fast enough.  But I want you to know it is a slow journey.
When I started, slowly down the fat hill I went.  It was a very high and steep hill.  I had no idea how high or how steep my fat hill was.  However, when I heard my legs in stockings rubbing together and making a sound like mice whispering in a chip bag, I knew it was time to release some fat. So I started off on my journey on the walk down the fat hill.
If I did not choose to slowly walk down the fat hill, I would have ended up rolling down the fat hill and God only knows what kind of injury I would have sustained.    Well, slowing walking down the fat hill, I realized that I needed some support.  I could do it, but I was unaware of what to do, how to do it and if I would have enjoyed doing it by myself.  Now, I am the typical lone ranger. I do things on my own and swear that I can.  But there are times when even a Lone Ranger, needs a Tonto. My first Tonto was called Lilli.


Lilli is my health coach.  She would call every week and we would just talk.  I was kidding myself really thinking that between the Nintendo WII and walking in the park I could make it happen.  In reality, i needed help because I had no idea how to help myself.  I knew I was overweight, but I had no idea about how overweight I was.  My fat was hard and tight and its address was 1 Round the Middle Avenue in the town of Back fat.   Anyway, Lilli and I would talk and share.


I decided to exercise by stalking a woman in the park one Saturday, and doing her routine. I was unable to keep up.  I decided it was time to get a trainer. So, in pops Dr. Evil.  Dr. Evil was posting flyers in the park.  He looked decent and I confronted him in my friendly manner and asked him what he was doing.  He was starting a Boot Camp and I took one of the flyers.  I called him a few weeks later and did his consultation.  He about killed me.  I never sweated so much in my life.  I sat on the monument in Fort Green Park and left a butt print.  OMG.  That was it, he was my trainer and the rest is history.
Before Dr. Evil, I could not do a pushup.  I could not run up the stairs. WHen I did I was  out of breath. Dr. Evil didn’t care he just said do it.  No small talk, no chat.  We worked out and I left.  He told me the goal was 1 lb a week.  I just grinned through my teeth.  Anyway, 1 lb a week it was consistently.  Today, I have a team of people who take care of me and support me to be my great self.  I never understood that before – how much asking for help can help me.  I have a health coach, a trainer, a therapist, a cleaning lady, a stylist, an assistant and an organizer.    In life there are things that we are just not good at.  My suggestion now is get the help, clear the mess and live a full life.

What is Your Olympic Size dream are you willing?

The Olympics are in my home town London. I could not be happier.  It is so exciting.  London has hosted the Olympic Games on two past occasions in 1908 and 1948.  Now they are hosting a third time starting in a few day 2012.  It is amazing.  The Games Begin July 27th @ 7:30pm.  The athlete’s I will be watching are Usain Bolt from Jamaica and of course Team USA.  Oops, I have been in New York to long, I forgot about my home town.  I will be watching my fellow country people from England.

Olympians are the modern gladiators of our time.  Every athlete dreams of attending but only a few and the best of every country make it.  It’s fair to say that the Olympics put added pressure on most of the athletes because it is held once every 4 years.  Since everyone wants to make it so everything is pressurized.  I love watching Gymnastics; I will be watching Gabrielle Douglas referred to as the flying squirrel.  She is quite remarkable. So young, so talented and bright the confidence of this young lady could like up any stadium.  I wish her talent to shine and a medal to procure.

What does it take to be an Olympian? Is it just training, their natural gifts or could it a certain kind of personality?  We don’t know.  You know they would have been breeding them genetically by now.  Is Talent is one of the many key components, as well as speed, strength, and endurance?  Yes.  But determination and a fighter spirit is one of the major components for success. I love this article about the 15 essentials of becoming an Olympian, according to Nick Catlin, a two-time Olympian.

What about passion? Where does passion come in? Well its important.  You have to love what you do. You have to be able and willing to invest the necessary amount of time it takes to be an expert in your event.  What does it take to do your best when the pressure is on?  When the pressure is on, being in the zone is where most athlete master their personal psychological skills that allow them to make a difference and be the best.  They have be able to recover from an error on a dime as a second of time could be the difference between a gold medal or being a person that went to the Olympics.  Athletes need to be in the zone, as do many of us who are in professions that call the management of self in a stressful or demanding situation.   It calls for years of practice to develop skills to operate at a higher level.  You have to be able to cultivate and have laser-like focus.

As with most things, as one learns, they realize it is not about being perfect at what you do. It is about being in the moment as life gives it to you. It is about not worrying about being perfect,  about past failures and looking at the scoreboard while in the moment.

If we went after our goals like Olympians there would be nothing we could not accomplish.  We would be able to accomplish our desires and goals consistently.  We can all be Olympians by adopting and using a combination of psychological skills that include visualization, setting a goal, focused concentration, being able to learn methods that can have you relax when needed and by being able to psych yourself up by using positive self-talk.  Use these methods in a consistent order and you can succeed.  In order to be successful, you need to managing your mind for success.  Once you were ready to accomplish your goal, all you would have to do is focus and let it happen.  Athletes have bodies and minds that are prepared to succeed and ready to go for gold. For the untrained goal setter, it is always the mind that gets in the way.  Are you willing to do the work?

Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips?

Are you sexy, the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips? If you cannot answer this question openly, you might have an issue.  If you think the statement is presumptuous, then you might have an issue. If you agree with this statement, you might have an issue with others.  But do you care?   I think I am all that and a bag of chips.  I went out with a male friend of mine the other night. When I walked in the door, he said to me “ You look sexy tonight.”  I replied with “I am sexy all the time.” He asked me who said that.  I replied I did.  He then said, “You’re not sexy until I tell you are.”  I laughed.  I also told him that “I am like a self-cleaning oven and I self-validate.”   We laughed. I’m sure for different reasons.  I, for my ability to self-valid, and he for God only knows what.  What I do know is you can be as sexy as you choose. 

Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips? Take a minute to think about that question and let it infuse on your mind. Then answer this. Who do you think you are?  This question is not meant to be taken in a negative way with judgement and a lot of tone. What I mean is who am I speaking to? Who are you intuitively? Do you have the confidence to say it proudly?  Is who you are so clear you don’t even have to say anything? It is clear to everyone and gets reverberated back at you in life. 

Did you ever experience a day when you’re being so sexy that you hear it whispered in the wind? It’s just who you are in that moment.  You are the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips. You know who you are. 

So who do you think you are can be translated as  I am a woman, I am black, I am tall, I am English, I am a Confidence and self-esteem coach, daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson,  5’8.   Who do you think you are has nothing to do with any of those statistics.  That is not the kind of who do you think you are that I am even remotely interested in. However, that is not to say that those descriptions are not interesting.  They are the kinds of facts that you share with people when you first meet them.  Somewhat boring and mundane, not the meat and potatoes of whom you are. 

The kind of who do you think you are that I am interested in an inside job. 

What do you love about your life?

What are you passionate about?

What are you interested in?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What are you proud of?

What do people say they love about you?

What contribution have you made and to whom?

What’s one thing that no one knows about you that you wish they did?

What are you willing to share about yourself?

What are you afraid of?

What’s the most courageous thing that you have ever done for another?

Next week we will talk about what these answers mean to you and how you can answer them everyday in all of your actions.

What happens when you are secure in yourself

When you are secure in yourself, your thoughts and ideas are great because you know intuitively that you don’t have to defend anything about yourself.  You thoughts, ideas and dreams are yours and they will never be the same as anyone else’s.  You know that no one has to agree with what you think as you are empowered.  However, the areas of your life where you are not empowered and lack confidence are the areas where the thoughts, beliefs and ideas are not your own. You seek validation or you get upset, angry and downright nasty, when you feel challenged.

Whenever you feel challenged and have to defend something about yourself, try this question on for size – “If I were a man would I have to defend myself for my thoughts and ideas”.   Now, I am not saying become a man in any way shape or form.  The question I am asking is “Why do I feel I have to defend my ideas or thoughts?”  You never have to defend anything. Did I say “anything” about yourself? You are perfect just like a rose. You have thorns. But just because you have thorns, when you feel them coming out, (unless it is an emergency and someone is physically attacking you), you need to take a look at why the thorns are coming out.    You never have to make an excuse of being disgusted with the way your life is going or not going.   When something is not working for you change gears. Look it square in the face and say,  “Fuck it, this will not do.  I desire something different.” Stop doing what does not work and choose something else.  Do not worry about anything else. 

People can really say anything they want about you. They can ask you anything and you have the right to choose how to feel.  If you’re upset, you have the right to let off steam in a responsible way. However, bare in mind that something is going to change and you’re going to change it.  It’s important that what matters is what you say about yourself and how you transform your life.  Your occurring world is what is important and if it is not supported by positive thoughts, what you will be if you don’t feel secure, is defensive.   You have to be okay with you. Only you can choose, you have to be willing to take responsibility for your life and not be sorry for your choices when you realize who you truly are. Outside forces are irrelevant because you are not your circumstances, you have circumstances.  We need circumstances in our lives.  What you need to do is give yourself a goal. You must be specific and clear about your target, as without one you will never feel secure and you will never get on the road.

What would you have to hear for you to accomplish your goal? In some cases it could be you have the job.  You have the deal. Yes, I’ll take that one.  Whatever it is that you have to hear, will be the point when you have reached your goal.   I remember when I finished my coaching training.  All I wanted to hear as a coach, and what made me a coach, was when someone said “Yes I want to work with you. How much do I have to pay, and when can we start”.   That sealed the deal for me. 

No two people’s arrival point will be the same.  However, they will have to be secure enough to keep going until they hear what they need to hear.   So it is important to

·        Make a Choice

·        Set a goal

·        Start towards your Goal

So when you are secure in yourself, anything can open up and that “anything” will be yours. 

RESPECT, Give Yourself Some

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T Take care, TCB

This is a just a few words from the song made famous by Aretha Franklin.  In order for her to have written this song, she must have had it up to her eyeballs with the lack of respect.  We all love the song because of it catchy little melody and because it resonates for most of us. 
Well, respect is a really important desire for all of us.  It is something that makes all of our relationships work well.  It also makes us feel comfortable and gives clear boundaries when we know that we’ve got it.  I think that respect is very important because it’s given or felt by each toward the other; mutual: reciprocal respect.  I like when I have reciprocal respect for my fellow human.  It just feels good.  It helps me understand the natural boundaries that we’ve created.  It also allows me a sense of freedom, because I know how far I can and cannot go with the person and it lets them know about me. 
What I cannot understand is when we do not honor our personal word.  We cannot, for whatever reason, follow through on our own word.  We cannot and do not complete actions that were started.  It is very confusing and frustrating.   I often wonder how we do business with a sickly word.  A word that resembles Diarrhea.  Diarrhea describes bowel movements (stools) that are loose and watery. Just like our words, loose and watery, with no substance to it at all.  Appointments get made with no intention of following through, saying yes when you mean no, having no follow through.  I know that when we behave in this manner, we really do not understand or might not even feel the impact of our word on another.  I also know that this kind of behavior is not personal.  As what we are in this manner is what we are all the time. 
Often times, this form of integrity diarrhea is so common, that we do not understand the sometimes serious affects we have on others in the sense of their time and their money.  

They do not know that one could consider a very quick remedy just like an over the counter medicine that can cure sometimes in an instant or in a matter of a few days. Consequently, the verbal integrity, can be cured with just one quick action like a phone call or an apology or whatever shape it takes the cleaning up the mess would take.
A question is what would have you be out of integrity and have it linger longer than is necessary? 

What kind of fear or neglect would have you shut yourself down? 

What does it feel like when you encounter the person again? 

What is the fear that has you not honor your word or integrity?

The big question is why you would continue live in this kind of messy situation?  

I have taken a good look at my level of integrity, and I have found that in the past I was not even aware of how it impacted others. I was totally unconscious of this behavior that I had become an expert in. However what is I now is that if I am out of integrity
I get it upset if I consciously ignore my word. 
I get sick to my stomach and I feel jittery
I do not feel good about myself. 
I erode my sense of personal trust
How does it make you feel? 

I have now developed a relationship to being my word and integrity to myself, regardless of the pain I might experience. What I have found is I feel so much better in my communication and all things get completed fully and I have room to do excellent business, am an excellent friend and live life openly and honestly.  I feel a sense of empowerment and I realize that nothing is ever that wrong and failure is an opportunity to win and win big.

The Truth Will Set You Free

The truth they say will set you free. How often have you avoided saying what is true for you because you’re afraid of the consequences because they looked and felt uncomfortable? You don’t want to be uncomfortable so you refuse to tell your truth or the truth. When you deny yourself the truth, you lose the ability to keep it real. Keeping it real gives you the opportunity to accept things the way they really are. Keeping it real, frees up your energy mentally, emotionally and physically. You don’t have to go around feeling like Atlas (the primordial Titan who supported the heavens) with the world on your back. You’re free. The adage is “it’s like a world lifted off my back.” When you don’t tell the truth, you have the world on your back you feel stuck, unhappy, and angry and weighted down.

It is vital to tell your truths. Secrets kept over a period of time rob you of your power, freedom, full self-expression which in turn steals your peace of mind. Lying can cause all kinds of physical, emotional ailments, internal conflicts and depression? When you release yourself from the warren of lies you get to experience freedom in area of life that is important to you.

What untruths are you hiding? What resentments have you built up because of your deceit? What do you need for yourself or from another person? Would you be willing to make a commitment now to that when you have resentment and untruths brewing, instead of letting it brew you would you be willing take on the task of asking for what you want? What is the worst that could happen? Think about it. You could actually get a (yes) what you want or you could get a (No) refused. However, you will see that you did not die, and no one you cared about got hurt.

Sometimes the truth is not as clear to see as the behavior is. The behavior might be one that is carried out for a number of years. Resentments.

I had a resentment toward men. The resentment was so old it did not have a voice, it was all reaction based. It was created 3 decades earlier but lived out its practice in every relationship with everyman I experienced. The resentment I had been brewing toward my father. Please note that my father has been dead for over 2 decades. However, because I had never allowed myself to express the feeling at the time it happened, I carried it around with me unbeknownst to in the form of an action which limited my beliefs and impacted my life. The resentment lived as my truth. I had been destroying many relationships that were important to me. This behavior kept me wondering if I’d ever have a meaningful relationship with a man that would come into my life. Up to now, it had not been impossible. This left me being irritated, confused, inauthentic, angry, frustrated, shut down, lacked trust and unhappy in my relationships. I had a loss of power freedom and full self-expression that left me with no peace of mind.

I had a conversation with my sister about the love that I had for her and what she considered her dysfunctional family. There was a rift and I became committed to bridging the divide that had grown in my family. With the help of my sibling, I was going to transform the family. As I cried and shared with my sister, I started to remember lots of things. Some of which did not have language, just emotions. I started to remember some things that I had forgotten when I was sixteen living in Great Britain I has saved 350 pounds to start traveling. My parents where always people that complained and worried about money. The worry about money was constant, how they were going to pay the mortgage etc., the gas, electric etc., The truth of the matter was my parents always paid the bills because they worked and were pretty responsible. We never went without the lights or heat and we always had food. I always did my dancing classes etc., it was just a habit that they had for so long that that they did not know it was a habit. Anyway, I took my 350 pounds and give it to my father. Thinking that my father would appreciate my contribution, and think that I was amazing daughter who cared and was not selfish which is all I ever really wanted. I gave the money to my father in the green hallway of my house with its green carpet, and complimentary green wallpaper in front of our Victorian stained glass window and wood door.

Her father took the money. However, the story is I don’t remember my father ever saying thank you or even giving me a hug or saying anything. My father was old school. He did not hug children or play with them. I released the money with a deep sadness that I never expressed or voiced every again. I just swallowed my emotions around it. I was upset. My father did not even say thank you.

In that moment, I made up the story that I never really uttered aloud, that story became “all men do is take, take, take.” I had proof. This is what my father had done to me. This is what other men will always do. I knew in that moment that I could never depend on a man like I could never depend on my father. I would never find a man that just wanted to be with me. I would find me who would invalid me, take from and never contribute to me. I have lived my life believing this story that I had made up, attracting men to keep my story alive. Trying to date men who were opposite from her father. Not realizing that I could and never did ask the men I dated or even married for what I liked because I truly believed that they did not have and all they would do anyway was take take take. That became my reality, my truth.

After much work and development, I was able start dismantling this story I had been telling me self. It was not the truth. It was not the way it was. I gave my father the money, he did say thanks, but it was not in a way that I really wanted. I realized that I had created this story about myself and I had lived my life like a victim trapped inside a tinder box of my own making.

Not knowing and allowing myself to see my truth, I allowed my stories to sabotage my relationships.
On discovering this truth, I went to work on getting the relationship that I desired, I allowed myself to dream. I learned that I had to put the past in the past and create a new way of being that was going to propel me forward in my life. I created a trusting, open and vulnerable space to live from being free from control. Understanding and experiencing that vulnerability was not a curse, and that I did not have to eat glass in order to avoid vulnerability. Vulnerability was a part of living and living honestly called for one that experienced fear, which has one make changes in one life.

My client transformed her life and her relationships with men. She saw that she was surrounded with men, she loved men and what men brought to her life. She was unable to experience this feeling before because she was living her life through a filter that said that all men did was take take take. This was no longer true. She started dating one of the men that were already in her life who was right under her nose figuratively speaking. Being open, trusting and vulnerable, she became able to be the woman who she intuitively knew herself to be.

The relationship is open, honest and truthful. She is happy. She is happy in a way that she has never experienced before. The hardest lesson for most of people is telling themselves their personal truth. Being open about what is true for them. The truth will set you free and you can have whatever you want for your life when you accept it.

Do You Hate Part or All of Your Body?

I read an articles a while ago about a few women that had accepted their long struggles with self- acceptance. In the article the women all had one aspect of themselves that they had difficulty with. They were from all races. Their issues ranged from their hair to the lack of hair due to cancer, to one having developed a sentimental relationship with her nose. Then there was a woman who had fell in love with her freckles. Then one described as beautiful Latina who questioned whether it was possible to fall in love with her pot belly. Then there was the African American woman who had issues with her natural hair. She grew up in a culture, were at 13-14 her hair was straightened. Regardless, of whether it is a nose, hair, pot belly and or freckles, there is always something to be overly concerned about.

Having read this article, what I know is that everyone has something that they do not like about themselves.

However, the person that intrigued and excited me the most; who for no fault of her own, was the woman who had no hair due to cancer. To me she was strikingly beautiful. Even though her cancer had passed and she had chosen to remain hairless (bald) because I can only imagine that she recognized her own beauty.

As a Personal Life Coach that focuses on confidence and self-esteem, I have had the experience of clients telling me that they hate some or all of their bodies, or they tell me that they harbor feelings of self-loathing. I have had a client tell me that she hated her hips. When I asked her what hating them was going in her life, with humor, I told her that I have a large pair of scissors (she was on the other end of the phone). She giggled. As our relationship developed over time, she discovered that her self-loathing had nothing to do with her hips. The hips were just where she had the placement of herself loathing, something to blame. It was more about not talking and expressing herself in her life that was fulfilling. What she discovered with coaching is that people who are not actively participating in their lives usually end up feeding their self- loathing.

What she soon realized was the moment she sunk her teeth into something that was of interest and a commitment was forged, watch out world. There is no time for self-loathing. Once they start taking action, the hips, or whatever body part was the victim, starts to become less and less important and it starts to fall away. Hating your body part and making it a victim of your attacks and self loathing interferes with your growth process.

Face What’s Not Working In Your Life and Leave Denial in the Past

Take an action step to complete it. By completing I mean letting go of all the drama that you have surrounding the thing you are choosing to face. Do not make it wrong or make yourself wrong about it, release it and let it be. No more complaining.

Who do you choose to face, you might have to take action even risk not being right or even not being liked.

From time to time we all experience situations that we do not like or that seem remarkable, uncomfortable, embarrassing and or painful. These situations might often cause vulnerability. These feelings or situations can be lived with. You might not relish them, but you have survived the year experiencing them. The situation might be one area of life that is not working so that unconscious voice inside orders you indirectly to hide the experience behind clichés, myths and points of view. All the while, you are not realizing or accepting that self-denial is what is in the driving seat. Hello Baby!

Some of these clichés might live in the following statements
It’s none of my business.
Don’t air your dirty laundry with me.
One drink before bed is fine, granny did it for years.
One more cigarette I’ll quit tomorrow, what can one do.
I hate the job but it pays the bills.
He does not mean to ___ me.
It’s just this one time what can it hurt.
I’m sure he’s going to pay me back he said he would.
Credit cards debt is normal everybody has some.
Someone else will do it. It’s not my job anyway.
People like us __________.
Those kinds of people ____________.

A good percentage of the time, it is human to make up reasons why things are the way they are. If you don’t accept the denial of making up reasons, you create more reasons on top the first set of reasons. That is what we do. One denial brings a mountain of reasons that we automatically believe to be real. By not facing why the problem turned up in the first place, we fail to acknowledge the situation quickly. When we face our problems, we experience less pain to begin with and the problem becomes easier to resolve.

Sometimes reasons why something is not working the way they ought to is a bunch of Bubble wrap. The car would not have broken down on the highway if I had taken it to the shop sooner. Now there’s a tow truck and repairs to pay for. One top of that, the triple AAA membership expired just a day or so ago. This is a perfect example of what could have been avoided had the situation been taken care of when it first came up. It would have been cheaper, saved time and if some integrity had been put in the situation might never have happened.

This year 2012 ask yourself if you are willing to take steps to get past your states of denial? Are you willing to face your states and situations sooner than later instead of hiding out with it in denial? Real power exists when you face life head on even when you do not feel like it.

Jump in get help clear the denial so you can breathe. You know who you are.
Take responsibility for your life, for all the things that you do and do not do. No more pretending not notice that something is missing, not working or was not done.

How Do You Think I Got So Fat

Well really how do you think I got so fat? Consistency. Consistency is everything, I ate consistently and I sat on my duff and watched television every night while eating not exercising. The fat did not arrive all at once, it was a little bit at a time. Here’s the back story. I was always thin, that also took consistency. The kind of consistency that I did not think about I ate what my mother made, yuck! at the time. Lots of vegetables, salad and balanced meat and starches I rode my bike every day and walked a lot. Then I moved to America and got married I went from 145lbs to 160lbs, large New York style dinners that at first I scoffed at and then started to indulge in. This was consistency number one. Spending nights indoors, with my new husband and eating ice-cream. My exercise became zero, as I was a little afraid to ride my bike in NY.

No exercising and eating food for 4 people, my weight slowly crept up through consistently. Now, I say this to say that I didn’t have a chemical imbalance. I didn’t have a slow metabolism or anything medically wrong with me. What I had was the consistency of not being consistent with my order of life. Eating large portions, eating late at night and no exercise.

When we desire change in your lives, it takes work to go out and get it. I am obsessed with success and I have learned that success takes a huge commitment. A commitment to transform your life, success with anything takes the form of consistency. If you desire to release fat from your body, it takes a consistent full blown effort. I love listening to people talk as I go about my daily business. As I was walking down Clinton Ave in Brooklyn the other day, I had the liberty of listening to a woman talking on the phone about her weight, the story went a little like this. “I don’t know what happens to my weight. It seems as though I lose a lot of weight then I have some macaroni and cheese and my weight just seems to pile back on.” Girl, I don’t know. I’m not exercising, and I’ve been eating yams and stuff and I cannot seem to lose the weight. Giggle!” Well, we have all been this woman, maybe not eating what is healthy, desiring to lose weight. At the same time believing that they can do it through osmosis. I have been her. It was not until I developed consistency which is a habit which became automatic that I was able to get the results that were possible.

Now, it was not easy. It was painful building muscle and working out doing pushups and running because I heard all my internal conversations running around my head telling me “this is hard”. “You could do 3 laps and stop.” “That’s enough, oh my legs hurt, I can’t breathe.” What the bubble wrap is going on. “It’s too dark outside. I cannot climb another step. Please Dr. Evil no more pushup. I can’t do it.” Wanting to cheat myself, I heard all my internal conversations. Say I did 3 when I know I have only done 2. My favorite excuse was my butt is to heavy I cannot run, I don’t like that feeling. Hello!

However, consistency had me listen to my internal conversations and see all my distractions and keep moving. Successful people keep moving. They keep asking, get knocked down and ask again by creating and then taking responsibility time and time again inside of the world of consistency. Anything that is new and different is within your personal grasp it is usually difficult and calls for constituency. The Beyonces, Oprah, Jay-Z, Ben Carsons, Michael Critchtons, Elma Blints are all the people that are successful. They include anyone with a dream they believe in and who are committed to their personal success. It takes great effort of consistency to be successful in your life. Anything you would like in you life share it, tell it to people who will support you in being your best self and achieving your goal. Release people that put you down or try to make you feel consistently bad about yourself. Always pay attention to the fact that no one can make you feel bad about yourself. They say what they say and you can take it into you space or you can choose to ignore it and move on knowing that statement doesn’t work for you. Keep creating more and more goals for yourself, break them down into bite size pieces and accomplish them one bite at a time each time remembering to celebrate your achievement.

Consistency is the key you success.
Consistency is not “I will do it tomorrow.” Consistency is creating a platform for yourself and sharing with others and setting yourself up to win.

It’s Your Life not Mine, Take Responsibility For it

You’re the only person that is responsible for your life. In life, things happen. You meet different people and experience different events that impact your life that you might feel you cannot control. I am here to let you know that you are the only person that can choose what you do with those experiences. You can use your experiences as tools that are either empowering or dis-empowering, you get to choose.

It is your responsibility to choose what you do with the experiences in your life. “Your Life” not my life. Dreams you want have to be created and you need to take the next step figuring out the actions to take in order to materialize them. The actions steps are usually the most difficult and most rewarding.

It is important that you respond to the events of your life. It is also important that you consider the state of your affairs and decide what is working for you and what is not working. Ask yourself, what is missing and if it were present what would your life look like.

You have the power to take action. You have the power to change your circumstances. Please keep in mind that your circumstances are just that -circumstances and in time, with action, all circumstances change. The only difference is you either take action or remain inactive.

As a coach, I experience clients who live in their lives with a victim’s mentality, blind to their own magnificence. You say your childhood was not so easy and you grew up in an unhealthy environment. You feel weighed down by self defeating cycles. You feel powerless, undervalued, a loser, overwhelmed and the list goes on. Okay, so you had a malicious, hateful relationship or a spiteful co-worker who sabotaged you and got you fired. Yes, it is a bad circumstance and feeling. However, you cannot let that or any experience, take away your power! It is time to rise up. It is time to start being authentic. People who are effective do not stay stuck in the past. Do you want to be powerful?

Get real in your life, your relationships and your job. Take time to add fun, creativity and balance. Know that in your heart that you will survive. If you want a great life, you have no choice but to live. Successful people do not loiter in their past. Successful people learn from their past, take what they need and let it go. Their lives are lived in the present; they plan and create newly for their future. When things happen that they do not desire or like, they reach into their power and deal with the facts. With the facts they take full responsibility and sort out the situation in the way that gets constructive results that reflect their lives in a respectful, positive and self loving way.

Know that you are great. Rise up! Take responsibility for your life.

Being Honest With Yourself

I was sitting in my bedroom a few days ago and had a floating candle in a container of water. As soon as the candle hit the water, a small pool of water plopped up into the mold of the candle. The flame flickered for a moment and I heard the faint hissing sound of water and fire coming together. The candle flickered a little then the flame dwindled down getting smaller but fighting to stay alight. All of a sudden the flame went out and all that was left was a puff of smoke wafting up from the stem of the candle. As I sat and watched the candle slowly extinguished and the smoke billowing up like a curly fry, I wondered if that is what death would look be like. One minute you are a bright light dancing around in the universe and then, when your time is near, you dwindle down into a puff of smoke trying hard to stay alight.

Photo Courtesy of Angelina

In a moment, your life can be extinguished like the flame of a candle. In that same moment, your live can transform into something that we never ever in our wildest nightmare could ever expect. In a moment, we can make a choice to transform our whole lives for the better. Transformation of ones life takes courage.

It takes courage to say that we are not happy with what it is that we are being, doing or having in our lives. Many of us have no idea what being honest with ourselves could bring. Fear of admitting to ourselves that we are not happy, for some of us, is mind blowing.

We walk around pretending we are happy. When the truth is that we are upset and not taking responsibility for our upset. We blame everyone for our outcomes.

Renee’s Story:
Renee experienced unhappiness in the area of her romantic relationships. She had not been in a solid relationship for quite some time. The last relationship that she experienced was very painful. It lasted one and a half years and it took her another year to get through the experience. One year is equal to 52 weeks. Can you imagine being upset for 78 weeks? Renee wondered how she could be in a relationship with a man that she loved but did not like. Habit.

Photo Courtsey of Birta Ran

Renee realized that she did not feel that she deserved a loving relationship with a man that she wanted. She did not think that she deserved to have a beautiful man. She was not worthy.

So Renee started dating a lot of different men, looking for a man that she was compatible with. But, Renee had issues trusting men. Renee has discovered that she does not believe that she will find a man she can trust. No Belief + Doubt = No trust.

Now, Renee has learned that trusting herself to make the right choices will help her distinguish what is important to her and give her the courage to get the results she was looking for. Renee also discovered that she did not have a criteria for what she wanted from a man past the physical look of the man. Renee has begun create a new perspective for what it is she requires from a relationship.

Gaining clarity helps us all create what it is that we want in our lives. Sometimes we do not have the strength, or courage to gain clarity. It may take us a long time to realize that we cannot gain clarity alone – that is where a coach can come in and help you de-clutter your mind and life.

As a coach, it is very important to help clients visit what it is they want from the things they are trying to create. It is important that we create ideas and take action to get what it is we say we want. When we are in action mode, we begin to reflect and draw to us the man/relationship that is important to us. That is why it is important to be honest with ourselves. Lies to ourselves only begets more lies which begets us more of the same – and that sounds like the definition of insanity.

Traits of the Successful: Create the Vision of your Ideal Self

As a coach, I have the opportunity to interact with hundreds of individuals. What I have found is that the people who are successful and fulfilled in their lives have a common traits.
– They believe their success has little to do with what they have, and more to do with who they are.
– They are committed to the kind of person they want to be.
– They step into their vision and are accountable for their behavior.

The quality of your life is determined by the way you play. How you play is based on what you believe about yourself. Consider that the beliefs you have, even if you are not conscious about it is the way that you are conducting your life.

Photo Courtesy of momono

It is important that you create an ideal of yourself. First, create a vision of how you would like you and your future to be. Your picture has to be clear, depicting what you want in your life. It has to be so clear that all your senses recognize it as a source of what motivates you. Simply put, it has to be a powerful source that can support you when you feel disempowered and helpless. This vision has to keep your dream self alive and active.

Your ideal self is an attitude, a way of life that is worth going for. Your ideal self is a big, hairy, audacious goal (BHAG) bigger than who you are today. Your ideal self has all the traits of self confidence, self esteem, self value, and self reliance. Your ideal self is you at your highest and only point. Finally, you have to practice showing up in your life “as if” you are already this being.

Believe it or not, you possess both positive and negative traits. It is important to identify all your positive traits and expand them. Then in turn do the same with your negative traits and learn how to manage or discard them. Example, most people who consider themselves shy. Admire people who are outgoing and energetic. What they do not realize is that they too have these traits. However, they need to promote these qualities and expand them instead of feeding the negative traits.

It’s time to challenge yourself. Stop being a victim, and create your ideal self. It is time to rise up! Create an ideal powerful self. You’re no longer a child. Life is thrilling. Let’s live it.

– Look at the quality of your life.
– Acknowledge your level of happiness.
– Acknowledge your positive and negative traits.
– Decide what is working or not working.
– Look at what is missing in your life and what you want to keep, add or discard.
– Expand and gain new skills, knowledge and communications.
– Start a daily practice of your new traits.
– Have patience and take baby steps.

Don’t give up and remember Rome was not built in a day!

Looking Back on Your Past

This morning, I started my Vision for 2012, and I thought about all of you. Do you create a Vision for the new year? And how do you do it?

We often look back on the year and go over all the ways we failed. I wanted to do this but I failed. I was supposed to do this but I’m not good enough. Stop it! Would you put your best friend down like this. No! If you did, what type of friend would you be. Instead, think about what you accomplished in the different areas of your life. Write about it like you are getting an award. The idea is to look at your life as a review that would look like your own life commercial review. To give you an idea of what I mean, here’s mine:

Photo courtesy of motone

Personal Development

I have fully reorganized my business. I have registered into the Landmark Forum and am doing a program called ‘Introduction Leaders Program’. It is a developmental program where I get to develop myself as a leader. In this program I get to look at myself from a place of power and create possibilities that I can live into. I look at what is missing in my life not what is wrong and create a possibility that calls to me into action and has me transform areas of my life that are important to me.

Relationships and Dating

I am seeing a man. After not dating for nearly 2 years unaware of the length of time I had not been intimate. I am seeing an amazing man who is sexy, powerful, open, honest, smart, and generous who has a stand for mankind where fairness on the planet and in his homeland is important. I am having a level of intimacy, I have never known. I am sharing myself openly and honestly.

I am asking for support in my life. Support is full circle for me. I give. Now, I allow others to give to me.

I have allowed my nurturing qualities to unfold and I love it. It is no longer exclusive to children. It is open to everyone.

I am trusting that everything that I choose will and can contribute to my life and there are no accidents on the planet.

I have lost a few friends this year that I love and will always love. However, it was far too much work to continue to play with them. So I released them with love. I have reached out to my brothers, one of which is up to starting a relationship with me where we are family. The other is mad at me and wants nothing to do with me. I will continue to reach out. He is my brother my blood and I love him. I don’t have to agree with anything he does or does not do. I can agree to disagree and not make him wrong.

Photo Courtesy of Jeditrilobite

Business and Career Development

I am growing my business; I have reorganized my business from the inside out and updated and upgraded all my prices. I have upgraded my skills and I am more in love with my business than ever before.
I continue to love the clients I have and I am ready to attract new clients.

Health and Well-Being

I have lost 25 lb.. and lost 2 dress sizes with the help of Gregg Barthelemy AKA Dr. Evil. Dr. Evil is one of the best things that have happened to me in 2011. He has not stood for any of my whining about the pushups that I could not do. I can now do 20 pushups, yes with struggle but I can do them. I am now a size 12. My goal is health and well-being is great and I am working toward being a size 10.

I am in great physical and emotional health. I am happy, I have been eating well. I still need to integrate water into my diet. I juice every day and I love it.

I have chosen vulnerability and I am in love with myself and love every part of who I am. I am looking throughout my life and ridding myself of old stagnant conversations that will be upgraded and ways of being that no longer serve my me or my life.
Looking back at the past year, you will see what you have accomplished and how far you have come.

How to Overcome Fear and Limiting Beliefs

Fear is an emotional response to an impending threat or danger.  It is one of our most basic responses.  Most of the fears that we experience today in our society are imagined. We experience the fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success.  All kinds of fears – many of which are attached to our belief systems.   

Photo courtesy of ia7mad

I used to have a fear of going to the movies by myself.  While I longed to go to the movies, I refused to go alone.  I had a fear of being molested by a man wearing a beige raincoat that was cinched at the waist.  This was something that I had heard as a child and added to my belief system.  How ridiculous!  However, as I grew older I realized that I had this fear of going alone, but I could not remember why.  It wasn’t until I accepted that I was afraid that I was able to see what my fear was, where it came from, and how it came to be. My older brother used to take me to the movies when I was younger and in order to keep us in line he would tell us about the old man in the beige coat that would take us away and do awful things to us. What I realized was that I had internalized a lot of that story and it followed me for years.  I was 30 years old when I finally went to the movies by myself.  Yep, 30 years old.  Some people might say that’s crazy. However, in my mind I was still young and very afraid. Consequently, that was what my limiting belief looked like.  It was an old condition that kept me from succeeding and going to the movies by myself.   
Limiting beliefs interfere with many aspects of our lives.  There are all kinds of limiting beliefs that stop us from succeeding. Fear of Failure is a huge limiting belief.  I recently had the opportunity to meet a woman who was raised middle class, but because of her experience attending a school with children who were not middle class, she developed the limiting belief of not deserving. Because her friends did not have, she stopped asking her parents for the things she wanted. She did not want to feel like a show off because of her nice clothes and her toys and gadgets.  If she did get something she used it at home and refused to wear clothes that were better than her peers.   

Fast forward into adulthood. Her limiting belief manifested into not having made enough money to live on.  She always squeaked by with just enough money for her basic needs, but never enough for extras.  As a result of her limiting belief, she has never developed the confidence to ask for the salary that she wanted and conditioned herself to not have any idea about the amount money she wants to make.  So she lives in a world of not enough and not deserving.   

Photo courtsey of _Blippo_

Limiting beliefs can show up in lots of different ways and if the limiting belief is something that you developed as a child. It grows up with you into an adult-sized limiting belief system. In order to succeed and clear your limiting beliefs, you have to submerge and focus your mind with positive thoughts.  You have to starting creating the reality you want.  You cannot for one moment allow old limiting beliefs to enter your mind and re-root themselves.  It takes effort, courage and knowing in your gut that limiting beliefs can be overcome. 

How to Stop Fearing Change

Fear of change, keeps you small
So you avoid discomfort by making excuses.
How is that going for you?

I cannot afford it, I have to wait, I don’t know. Oh my God, I have to make that call and I forget. Why don’t they just stop contacting me? Why is she continuing to talk about this again and again? I really want to but… my head, my children, I have to ask my husband. These are some the many excuses we make up in our lives when the change you requested starts to come.

What are the excuses that have you playing small in your life? Above are a myriad of excuses that I have heard and that I have also used in my life. However, I now know when my ego is messing with me. It is working hard on stopping me from doing the things I want to do but I am afraid to do.

My fear shows up around money, I get a triggered. I feel it in my solar plexus and I start the nagging internal dialog. My internal dialog doesn’t have language, it just has feelings. However, what I have found is that if I do not choose that thing that will impact my life positively. I’ll spend the money on something or another that really has no educational or emotional impact on my life and my life stays the same. Whereby, when I think of spending money on a course, seminar, workshop and or coach that would transform my mindset, it causes me emotional upheaval in my subconscious because my ego so big. It is does not like change and responds by making me mad at myself.

I have listened to woman who, like myself, have attended workshops. It is so amazing to hear the conversations and about the way they hear things and interpret them. Be aware it is the ego, it stands in the way of your greatness. It is also has a way of being arrogant. You know that you need help, but you refuse to take it.

In my work, I hear and see a lot of what is happening in the back ground of women’s life. I hear all the little conversations and disguises that are put on when you have not set up strong, personal boundaries in your life. I also hear when you’re trying to manipulate people into doing something that you want without using your verbal skills. I also hear when you are trying to ‘fake’ knowing something when is really okay not to know it. I also hear when you job runs your life and you have no personal activities going on in your life. I hear the bitterness in some that is so bitter it impacts their whole environment. (Not a judgment, just an observation.)

I also have the keen intuition of knowing and recognize when someone else’s anxiety is coming from being overwhelmed, not trusting or being present with your life. When you have all the accoutrements that money can buy, you’re great at your job but you do not your personal life. You’re amazing people, you are strong and many times you are very very afraid of your own personal power. Ask me how I know. I have been there.

It does not work for me that woman do not know their power, they feel something other than their true selves all the time or suffer inside from behaviors that no longer work for them. All because they are afraid of what people are going to say about them. It is important to know that it is none of your business what people say about you. Ladies the fear of change, the lack of confidence and self esteem in your personal life keeps your small in your personal life and to avoid discomfort, you make up excuses.

Hey How is that going for you.

Call me and let me know

How to Stop Feeling Guilty

Guilt leaves you feeling YUCKY. Guilt is a very dis-empowering action. The majority of the women I come in contact with as a Confidence and Self Esteem Expert experience tremendous guilt. They feel guilty around their children, friends, family and the list goes on. However, when you are in love with yourself, you have a strong sense of security and you can step out of the guilty behavior. Letting go of guilt enables you to make deliberate choices allowing you to own the process of loving yourself.

One experiences Guilt when they do not act or behave like the rest of the group or clique. You will often experience ridicule or criticism because they want to you to behave or act in a particular way. So they will try to gain power over you by trying to make you feel guilty. Guilt is used by everyone. However, when you have confidence and a strong self-esteem, this form of behavior has no power over you because you come from your heart as you are courageous. With courage you know that you are in charge of your life.

When you do not have courage, lack confidence, and self-esteem, you come from a place of manipulation. You engage in power struggles to get a desired behavior from another person. Many people use silence coupled with withdrawal of affection/love to dominate their friends, family and children. This kind of behavior just is not loving. You are further endorsing that you are not enough, or that you are not acceptable for other people because you have to engage in power struggles to get what you desire.

If you engage in this kind of manipulative guilt breeding behavior, it is important that you surrender this combative tactic. We all want to experience freedom without guilt but to experience freedom we have to let others experience the freedom we want for ourselves.

Learning to detach ourselves from reactions and our emotions is necessary when the negative takes a hold of you. When we pull ourselves out of center where we lose all sense of who we are because we have become upset, bitter and all manner of things that separate us from others. You have to learn to love yourself with kindness not from a place of judgment; judgment separates you from others and yourselves. It sets you up to fail so you cannot be free. When you judge people for the things they do, what they have, do not have or how they act, you are also setting yourself up in the judgment that you have woven for another. When you set up this kind of web, you have now told yourself that you can only accept yourself under certain circumstances and conditions. If attaining these conditions and circumstance becomes difficult, you have now put yourself in a place where you have no freedom. You have now placed a very harsh way of being on yourself, filled with self-criticism, where you are not good enough. When you give up and love yourself unconditionally, you will experience yourself with naturally experiencing confidence and self-esteem. Confidence and Self-Esteem will naturally attract positivity to you.

Make time for happiness

A good portion of women are too busy making themselves busy so they don’t have a minute to look at the true picture of their life.  They are too busy to call a friend or too busy to return a call.  They are too busy to be the yes that they said they’d be.  What is all this busy-ness?  We have a ton of technology available to us at the drop of a dime.  Literally a drop of a dime and yet we are way too busy.  Now the with cellphones less than half a yard away from your elbow inside your bag or pocket it remains impossible to return a simple call, to a client, a potential suitor, a doctor anybody.

Two happy girls

Well, you don’t understand, I am really busy.  How busy can you be?  Are you running a small country?  What is it that you are doing in your life that has you so busy that nothing has changed in the last 3 years? I have a running conversation with clients that say to me that they are too busy to do something that they say is important to them.  Important things like their friends, their health and wellbeing.  They want to date, fix their finances or change something in their life.  Well, what I say is you are not running a city or a small country.  For instance look at Rudy Guilliani, the mayor of New York City 1994-2001. Here was a man that was busy, running NYC, visiting other states and countries and still he still found time to have a wife and then cheat on her.  Now that’s busy.  If you not running a small city, visiting other countries having a marriage and an extra marital affair, you’re not that busy. Come on!

What’s really going on is that you do not have a system to manage yourself, and you do not have a relationship with your word.  How do I know this?  Well, I know this because when the conversation comes up about you being unavailable, not following up on your promises, and not being your word, then you get triggered.  You shut down become resigned.  Some of you might even become angry.  This is not a judgment; it is something that I have experienced.

If all the things that you say you would love to have or experience are really that important to you, then it is important that you carve out time for yourself.  There is more than enough time in the day to handle what it is that you say that you desire.  The first question to ask yourself is: Am I happy?  What’s happiness got to do with time? What has happiness go to do with anything?  Well, I have come to understand that people that are happy with themselves desire to remain happy.  They share.  They are often times enjoying the work that they have chosen for themselves.  They are busy, but they are organized.  It is this kind of happiness that is important to them.  They do not want anything to interfere with their happiness.  So they make the time to do the things that is important to them and schedule time to handle all the other things.  They are happy and they want to share it with friends so they create time to talk with friends.  They are not interested in getting sick so they will create time to go to the doctor and keep a handle on their wellbeing.  They have created structure to keep on doing the thing that they enjoy doing.




Happiness is something that one can do for oneself. However, it is something that is better shared with another.  When you are happy in your life you become aware of whom you are.  So if you desire a deep relationship with another person, it’s important that you become aware of yourself.

The comments above are not here to make you feel wrong or written as a judgment.  I have written them as a way to have you look inside and understand that sometimes you are not aware of what you’re doing or how it impacts your life and the lives of the people you say are important to you.  It is important to see them so that you can realize how important it is to learn to concentrate and focus your mind where you choose.  You can elevate your thinking and your choices to a higher ideal rather than just merely having a view or no view at all and remain stuck thinking that your business is real and you have no time.   Then when people say that you are not managing your time or you wasted their time being busy, you don’t find yourself feeling attacked or defending yourself.

It is as though you are too afraid to take a minute to just sit down and smell the roses.  Many  women have discovered the age old art of making themselves wrong so they have something to distract them from just taking a minute to sit down and reflect.  Happiness appears as this elusive thing they are searching for.  Some are looking for it in the arms of the next lover before completing with the last one.  Some are looking for it at the end of the credit card in the next pair of designer shoes.  This is not a judgment.

What I do know is that a lot of woman are really craving, desiring and would like to have the kind of happiness that just makes you heart sing.  The kind of happiness that you feel when you are taking time out to do something that you really enjoy doing, that ignites your passion and get your juices flowing.  No ladies, not that kind.  At least not at this moment;  I mean the kind of passion that I experience when I am riding my bike and the wind is whipping around my helmet and I see life’s pleasures like a flower that had just broken through the earth.



Case Study – Lori K.

Lori is in my Live Life Your Way (LLYW) maintenance program.  I have worked with her for over five (5) years.  She has completed the Honorable program and continues with coaching because she derives a tremendous amount of value from the process.  She has gone from weakness to strength in her life and relationships, with me as her Personal Life Coach. Lori has expanded her life in general, is in a better place financially, is in a healthy committed relationship, has better relationships with her family and friends, and she travels extensively for work and pleasure (more for pleasure).  But most of all, she is confident in and with her life, recognizes the universe will provide when she is clear as to what she wants, feels deserving of good things, and feels powerful.


When I first met Lori, her personal confidence and self esteem had taken a big severe hammering. She was an unhappy professional woman who was stuck in her life. She had a job that didn’t suit her, her home and work environments were dismal, the relationship with her then boss was very depressing and difficult, her office had no windows and she was underpaid.  This made her very unhappy which in turn had her stuck.


Lori spent most of her nights and all of her weekends doing what she knew to do, sending out resumes and looking for a new job. She had no personal life, 5 cats, ten year old furniture that was left over from her college years, and her apartment would fill up with the marijuana smell from the neighbor below. To add insult to injury, one of her cats was sick, which had Lori spending $500+ per month on medication and vet bills.  She had no boyfriend and had not been on vacation in years; her social life was, in a word, unfulfilling.  She was also suffering from weekly migraines, was overwhelmed and a people pleaser.  She did not love herself or like the person she had become.  Her family life, like many, was dysfunctional.  Lori, a very loving and giving woman, had never bought herself a pair of shoes costing over $60 and she had no savings. Lori also had a long list of things which included day to day things, as well as life things, that were simply left undone because she had no time to do them.   She had a To Do list that was 5 pages long and growing.


However today, this woman is being paid almost twice the amount she had made when I meet her and she has a job that she absolutely loves that takes her all over the country. She has a wonderful home environment including new adult furniture, “she got a man” (a relationship of three years now), her relationship with her family and friends has shifted enormously in a positive way, she considers herself prosperous, she is migraine-free, and she has met many of her personal goals after putting out all the emotional fires in her life. Lori has fun now and is excited about life. She recently bought herself a brand new car, vacations often, swam with dolphins, and on July 30, 2011, she is moving into a beautiful home with her boyfriend. She takes excellent care of herself and has money in the bank now.  She has stopped being a people pleaser. She is confident and feels deserving now. Lori has learned many life lessons that will keep her from becoming emotionally stuck or having her personal confidence and self esteem take a hammering ever again.


As a coach, I am committed to having people shift their lives.  I am committed to having people have fun and take full responsibility for the things that they are passionate about.  Lori is my ideal client – she is committed to having the best in life and the best life ever.   I can say that I am proud that I am her Personal Life Coach and excited about supporting her to accomplish all she wants to do.  As a life coach, I am a committed listener, sounding board and your accountability partner.  As your coach, there is nothing that I cannot hear.  I am open to hearing everything that you want to experience and are currently experiencing – the good, bad, and the different.  I am not here to judge or assess you.  I am here to help you clear the debris; face the fear, challenge the challenges and Live Life Your Way.  I love what I do and I do it with great joy, pleasure, and enthusiasm.


Consequently, Lori is still willing to face her fears head on, and continues to build her confidence and self esteem. She has found that working with me as her coach has transformed and continues to transform her life.  I am the perfect coach for her and she is the perfect client for me as she wants her life to be “all it can be” and is continually committed to the process.
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