In the end, what do you want from your life?

In the end, what do you really want for yourself and your life?  What are the results and benefits that you want to accomplish and why?

Consider what you will do in your life to have you walk away a winner, having what you want and designing your life the way you would like.

Below is a list of the tangible examples, measurable benefits and results that you may want:

  1. Accomplishment of your personal goals
  2. A strong self-esteem that rockets
  3. Trust in yourself and trust in others
  4. An experience of happiness with yourself
  5. Creating your own truth and thus making it your reality
  6. Freedom
  7. Strong, generative, passionate relationships
  8. Feeling grounded, connected, and at ease with life
  9. The past is in its place
  10. Abundance of health, wealth, love, power, success and creativity
  11. Creating your passion or passions and sharing them unabashedly  

There are some very simple answers and actions to take.  Is there anywhere in your life where you are not recognizing your power, your strength?  Would you be willing to think about it?

Do you know who you are?  

Do people really know you?  

What do you like about yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

What don’t you like about yourself?

What are you willing to do about it?

Who do you have disagreements with and are you willing to clean them up?

What are you tolerating, putting up with, or suffering through?

Are you willing to create a new image of yourself that reflects your true being?

What would it take for you to express your courage, compassion, love, trust, etc?

How will you develop those qualities and what is in the way?

What would you look like with your new quality? What would it provide for your life?

Make your life a priority.

Disempowered thoughts keep you trapped and rob you of your life.

Ordinary People are Just as Fascinating and Interesting as Extraordinary People

Ordinary people. I love people and find them to be incredibly exciting and complex beings. It is essential to take time to be interested in others.

Everyone possesses something interesting about themselves no matter how different and weird it might be. It is essential to take time to listen as I always think there is something to learn. I hear people complaining about the dates they go on, about the person they went out with being boring or complaining about how the person was this or that. I have also had my share of disappointments and failures in the dating arena, but I still find people interesting. The person might not be for me, yet I find the interest.

As a coach, I know that we can always find something good in other people. If you want people to like you, or if you want to develop relationships, it’s important that you have an interest and care about people by accepting people as they are. You can always find something good about the people you date and meet in your life. I often ask my clients who have weaknesses in this area to challenge themselves to find something interesting in the people they meet and know.

Bring an end to the thought that people are boring. People are not boring. If you find people to be boring, look inside and try to discover why you think they are boring. Could it be that you are boring and can find nothing interesting in another person because maybe there’s nothing interesting about you? Could it be that you are looking for someone to entertain you and people are not entertaining enough for you? Like I said, everyone is interesting.

I read about a reformed gang member who did 13 years in prison and left the notorious Mara Salvatrucha aka MS-13. The Mara Salvatrucha gangs have cliques, or factions, located throughout the United States and Latin America and are composed mostly of Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Hondurans and other Central Americans. You know, you see these things on the telly and then it’s like all of a sudden you bump into someone who in a hundred years you never think that your paths would cross. I meet people everywhere and when I say everywhere, I really mean that. And one day, at my usual brunch place, I met a former MS-13 gang member.

Armed with my Discovery Channel documentary information, I found this man very interesting. As I looked into his face and asked him about his teardrop tattoos on the corners of his eyes, which I recognized as symbols of the notorious gang MS-13 by way of watching the Discovery Channel reports on gangs in America. Based on the commentary on the documentary, I smiled and asked him jokingly, “How many people have you killed?” Not expecting to get a real response, he replied by saying, “I spent the last 13 years in prison. I must have done one or two.”

I was in a state of disbelief and shock at his honesty. I was not expecting a response of that magnitude. He, in turn, asked me where I was from based on my accent.

He continued to share with me his gang affiliations (MS-13). As he continued to order his pancakes, he shared about jumping in and the rules for leaving the gang which the documentary described as getting beat up by your friends. He told me that there is a structure for leaving the gang if one goes to prison. He chose to leave the gangs of his youth behind. He was extremely pleasant, not at all as menacing as I would have been led to believe. His life was different from mine, and the link that brought us together was pancakes and the generosity of sharing our stories in an instant. We giggled and parted energy.

Again I say, have an interest in the people you share the planet with. People are extremely fascinating and have amazing stories full of passion and adventure. Rise up, people! Practice spending time and become interested in other people you share the planet with as you will become more interesting as a result of being interested.

13 Ways to Live Life by Your Own Design

The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life.  There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out.  I can guarantee that!  There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week, and last year.  The world, hell, the Universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way™  and live by your own design.

  1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you

Laundry isn’t important to me.  Having clean clothes is what’s important, and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simple by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

  1. Ask for Help

Asking for help is really important.  A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help.  Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it.  Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it.  Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them.  Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

  1. Stay in contact

It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important.  There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend.  You need to express love and share love.  Love is addictive.  Giving love and expressing love feels good.  Try it.  Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend. Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now.  Stop what you’re doing and just do it.  The first five people in your phone to start.  I just sent out eight instead of five and got three responses already in eight minutes! Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it.  However, keep in touch with people as best as you can –  it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

  1. Surround yourself with things you like

Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like.  Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you.  When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels. For example, the social media platform, Pinterest, is an awesome mood booster, and you can view it on your computer or phone when you need a pick-me-up or a little inspiration.

  1. Create a Gratitude List

I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.  

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind.  Gratitude has the power to move you forward.  

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life and see their goals develop faster.

  1. Keep a planner to stay organized

Keeping a planner makes life less crazy.  It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun.  Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. Balance your time and give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to an appointment you don’t have time for or don’t want to have.

  1. Keep track of your wins

Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements.  Writing down your wins, achievements, and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

  1. Make your appearance your own

Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style, and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.  

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. If you don’t feel great in your body, exercise and eat healthier to keep yourself in shape.

Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.  

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look.  The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

  1. Create a go-to Group

Create a go-to group. A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake up.  

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect.  Your group must not coach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life.  They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks.

Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

  1. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts

Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy.  We went to see Fat Albert.  The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.  

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud –  it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps, and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

  1. Be emotionally okay

Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry, or for your crying.  

If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it.  Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness.  Don’t cover your emotions, express them. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way.  You’ll feel so much better after the release.

  1. Write things down

Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having, or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain, and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

  1. Accept yourself as you are

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and love yourself every moment.  Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.  

Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

 

We Get the Lessons Before the Test

Life Lessons from C-Suite hosted by Paypal and produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, with featured speaker Jennifer Risi, Worldwide Chief Communications Officer at Ogilvy. The Paypal offices were the perfect location for this event. The attendees were an attractive crop of people. Everything lined up just perfectly – the anchor and moderator was Hope King, Cheddar.

What is C-Suite? It’s the high-level executives who are in senior positions of management at major worldwide companies. For instance, it’s the 3 positions that start with C in large corporations. Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Chief Financial Officer (CFO), Chief Operating Officer (COO), and Chief Communications Officer (CCO). Chief is the operative word it seems. Henceforth, we have the term C-Suite.

Jennifer Risi is not your typical C-Suiter. She’s cool as a cucumber and great to listen to, unlike many C-suiters I’ve heard speak in the past. Jennifer told us upfront that she didn’t have a plan for her career. She got a job in PR, and it seems she ran with it and it worked out swimmingly. All the other C-Suiters I had the pleasure of reading about had a plan or strategy.

Jennifer is confident and authentic; I would go as far as to say, “She’s dope,” as my friend Chad says. My guess is that she‘s probably the first in her family/first generation to have a corporate success story. She’s straightforward and as I listened, I could see that her team, who sat beaming with pride and ready to jump in to support, were really proud of her.

I enjoy attending events produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce. I always learn a lot. It’s like being a voyeur outside the speaker’s office. Not only do I learn about their ascent and how they got to be successful in their current positions, but I also get to learn about the books they’re reading. Not Jennifer, she gets her reading through her work very straight, not trying to look good at all. I discover if they have a sense of humor and see how they handle stress and deal with failures. Most importantly for me, I get to see how they deal with people and handle challenges.

I learn how C-Suiters crafted their careers, or in Jennifer’s case, how she fell into hers. C-suiters, for me, seem self-aware, honor their word, and are likeable people. They seem like people I would enjoy hanging out with and listening to their stories.

I’m borderline obsessed with the way Jennifer’s staff appeared. I was so intrigued. I asked them a few questions after Jennifer’s talk. It was just what I expected – they love her! The questions I asked were simple, but everything about their answers worked:

Does Jennifer micromanage?

Answer: No

Does she give you space?

Answer: Yes

Does she allow you to fail, learn, and grow?

Answer: Yes.

From Jennifer’s talk and from these one word answers, I learned a lot of information about her management style. Jennifer is who she says she is – an open door. For me, it was a breath of fresh air. She provides her people the work and gives them free range to do it their way. She allows for mistakes because she knows her team and knows that people learn from mistakes. Jennifer, it seems, doesn’t have a typical management style; she does not manage people. She manages agreements which allows them space to learn and grow and fess up when mistakes happen.

In her early career, Jennifer shared that she was described as and told she had hard edges. I thought about this statement for myself and my life. I’ve been told that I can be pushy. I came to the conclusion that if you’re a forward-thinking chick who has the potential for success or to make a difference, you’re a strong woman. You’ve probably heard that statement or experienced a similar description of yourself. And, if you’re a man reading this, you might’ve referred to a woman or two with some negative connotation (not all men, but some); you know who you are. Furthermore, if you’re a woman who does her job and has at least one ounce of passion, I’m sure you’ve heard something distasteful said about you. Maybe you’ve even been called a bitch, if not to your face, definitely behind your back.

Jennifer is hardworking, wise, and knows how to play the game of corporate life. She takes criticism and feedback constructively and uses it as food for her soul and as an opportunity to grow, no matter how challenging or difficult it may seem. She addresses criticism in a way where she finds value in it and allows it to move her forward and not take her out of her game.

My takeaway from Jennifer’s talk was: surround yourself with trusted colleagues and create a strong network of people you trust. Create relationships with human resources; make them your partners.

Jennifer Risi, to me, is passion, creativity, and integrity. She owns her voice, creates her value, speaks her truth and lives life her way.

Love yourself! Until next time!

2018 Made Me Polar Bear Dive!

On January 1, 2018, I became an honorary Polar Bear. I took the plunge at Coney Island Beach and the temperature that day was 8˚ F when I woke up and 17˚ F when I jumped in! It was something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time and this year I was READY!

Every year, for about 20 years, I’d thought about it and saw myself doing it and, finally, on January 1st, 2018, I made it official! The coldest part of my body were my toes.  However, I lucked out with the strangers I choose to jump in the water with.  One of my fellow plungers owns or works at a bar called Rudy’s on the boardwalk near where we plunged. Shout out to them!  After the plunge, they provided nice warm water for my toes to defrost in.  Now I know why people lose their toes when exposed to cold weather for an extended period of time!

Like certain things in life, we can make up stories about how it’s going to be, however, once we make the decision to do it, we might as well give up thinking about how it’s gonna go.  We won’t know until we do it.  That’s what it was like with the Polar Bear Plunge.  I made up all these stories about me freezing to death. While signing the disclosure form, I had thoughts of me having all the reactions on the list – dizziness, heart attack, seizures, the works. I totally thought I would be done for.  

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions; the problem with New Year’s resolutions is that a goal for the end of the year can be so far away that days, weeks, and months pass by because there’s always the feeling “I can always start tomorrow…” and you do nothing to further along your goal(s)!

On top of that, if you’re working on the same goal every single day for a year, that’s a whole lotta willpower you’ve got to call on! Willpower doesn’t work.  That’s why I said that I would do the Polar Bear Plunge, put it in my calendar, told my fellow community members so they would hold me accountable for it, and did it. Period.

I’m not going to lie, I was afraid.  Being honest about my feelings gave me the ease I needed to do it and I’m thrilled I did! It showed me another side of myself and how truly courageous I am. I look forward to a FANTASTIC 2018.  

What are you creating for yourself this year?  Who will you be, what will you do and what will December 31, 2018 have in store for you? Thank you for your support in 2017 and I look forward to a powerful 2018.  If you require support in 2018 to reach your goals, hit me up – let’s make your dreams happen.  

www.noreensumptercoach.com

Love yourself! Until next time!

 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…for me!

It’s really the most wonderful time of the year – for me! The holidays are here! Grammarly says that “wonderful” is an overused word, but, who cares – it just shows people are overwhelmingly happy! It’s also the most beautiful time of the year. I’m sitting here thinking about what to share regarding Christmas (the holiday I celebrate) and what to say in my blog, and I’m having a difficult time putting my happy feelings into words. I have a warm, fuzzy feeling in my solar plexus area, and I’m having trouble expressing it. It’s a squeal. It’s a feeling of having your arms wide open. It sounds like children giggling and wrinkling their faces. I can’t wrinkle my face because I’ll get wrinkles. Lol just kidding.

My year has been great; I grew tremendously. It’s strange that I didn’t notice my growth. I was feeling it, but I couldn’t see it, and then, all of a sudden, it was clear, not just in the realm of money but in the quality of my life and the relationships I have with people. The people I know are also the quietness of my soul. I’ve met some wonderful, amazing people this year and, as a result, my coaching skills have grown exponentially. I have fantastic clients who are achieving their goals and winning at their life games. I’m so happy with my purpose, my career choice. I’m not just The Potentiator and a Personal Life Coach. I help people go beyond their potential, and I love my job more and more every moment of every day because of what I do. I could flip right now!

I am “Live Life Your Way” because it’s my truth. I’m living my life and having a great time.

In the middle of this year, I started my own Radio Show, Beyond Potential, Live Life Your Way, featured on www.talkradio.nyc (check it out!). I’m so happy about it, and it’s going well. And, last month I was offered my own local access cable show in Manhattan, NY, for which I just filmed three episodes. Wow wee – I’m on a roll!

I saw my generosity and the generosity of others expand and show up in ways that I’ve never received before. I shared 10s of 1000s of dollars in referrals in my various networking groups. I was voted President of Business Referral Group No. 3 (BRG3) of the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce where I’m an Ambassador. I was invited by people whom I respect, and that respect me, to share my advice and opinions. I’ve hobnobbed with all kinds of people, and I’ve had tremendous fun. I love hobnobbing. I’ve had volunteers share their time and talents with me to further my success and their own.

In 2017, I made my #1 goal in life to be happy, no matter what. I choose to be happy and satisfied in my life, and it’s showed up in ways beyond my imagination. No matter how much or how little I have, no matter who loves me or doesn’t, this goal has kept me grounded and continues to keep me grounded everyday.

Looking forward to 2018, I request trying on for size the following things. (If they do not fit. toss them out.)

  • You are the most important person in your life.
  • Always be yourself.
  • Find and stay in touch with your personal definition of happy.
  • Believe in yourself and your dreams.
  • Change is constant; be the change you want to see in your life.
  • Make love an ingredient in everything you do.
  • Be the author of your life.

I wish you the happiest of holidays!

Are you ready to let 2017 go and ring in a brighter, happier, and healthier 2018? If so, look no further than joining me for my event, The Big Release, at Pearl Studios in New York, NY, on December 30 from 3:00 – 6:30 PM. For more information and to sign up, visit www.noreensumpercoach.com/thebigrelease2018 and don’t miss out on early bird pricing until December 23! Looking forward to meeting you!

Love yourself! Until next time!

Transformation equals change and it’s happening now

It’s almost the end of the year. What side of the stick do you want to hold on to- the “2017 – wow, what a ride – I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for me!” stick or the “oh my God, I did nothing, changed nothing, and I’m in the same boat as I was in 2016” stick? This time of year for some people is the most loving, and, for some, it’s the most crippling and is when their world seem to fall apart.

This is the time of year when most people spend their time celebrating with family and friends in a festive spirit. However, for some this is when they go into hiding mentally and physically. I’m not sure if it’s true or false, but some say suicide increases during the holiday season. What I ask is that we look out for each other.

Also, most will say that 2017, like most other years, has gone by very fast. I don’t believe this for myself. I think it’s gone at an even pace. I’ve had a great year and worked smart, met some great people, and had a tremendous amount of fun and success. People, 2018 is a jaunt around the corner. It’s time for a transformation which simply means change. My life’s going to change because I’m going to apply everything I learned in 2017 to get a fierce head start on 2018.

What are you going to do? Are you going to apply what you learned in 2017 to 2018, or are you going to be one of those people who did all kinds of classes, seminars, training and still nothing changes in your life? What I’ve found is that we yearn for new and different and yet remain in the same old patterns.

Listen up! The new year is coming. Be bold and take a step in a new direction – take a course or read a new book to transform your life in 2018. Transformation calls for a commitment to something that is uniquely different in your life.

Need a bit of help letting go of 2017 and starting fresh in 2018? Don’t fret! I’ve got just the thing! Join me for The Big Release – an event I’m hosting on December 30th to help you let go of things and situations that didn’t serve you in 2017 and begin your journey into 2018 with a new perspective! Visit www.noreensumptercoach.com/thebigrelease2018 and sign up before December 23 for early bird pricing!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Live Life by Your Own Design, Pt. 2

Hello Friends! Welcome to Part 2 of the list of 13 ways to Life Life Your Way™. This will continue to put things into perspective and help you live the large life you desire.

  1. Make your appearance your own

Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style, and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.  

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. If you don’t feel great in your body, exercise and eat healthier to keep yourself in shape.

Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.  

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look.  The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

 

  1. Create a go-to Group

Create a go-to group. A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake up.  

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect.  Your group must not oach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life.  They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks.

Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

 

  1. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts

Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy.  We went to see Fat Albert http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fat+albert+movie&view=detail&mid=B326DD89B259A34501CFB326DD89B259A34501CF&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR&qpvt=fat+albert+movie  The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.  

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud –  it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps, and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

 

  1. Be emotionally okay

Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry, or for your crying.  

If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it.  Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness.  Don’t cover your emotions, express them. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way.  You’ll feel so much better after the release.

 

  1. Write things down

Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having, or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain, and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

 

  1. Accept yourself as you are

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and love yourself every moment.  Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.  

Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

Live Life by Your Own Design, Pt 1

The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life. There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out. I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week, and last year. The world, hell, the Universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog is a two-part series that includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way™ and live by your own design. In the first part, we will break down the first 7:

1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you
Laundry isn’t important to me. Having clean clothes is what’s important, and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simple by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

2. Ask for Help
Asking for help is really important. A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help. Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it. Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it. Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them. Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

3. Stay in contact
It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important. There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend. You need to express love and share love. Love is addictive. Giving love and expressing love feels good. Try it. Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend. Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now. Stop what you’re doing and just do it. The first five people in your phone to start. I just sent out eight instead of five and got three responses already in eight minutes! Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it. However, keep in touch with people as best as you can – it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

4. Surround yourself with things you like
Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like. Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you. When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels. For example, the social media platform, Pinterest, is an awesome mood booster, and you can view it on your computer or phone when you need a pick-me-up or a little inspiration.

5. Create a Gratitude List
I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind. Gratitude has the power to move you forward.

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life and see their goals develop faster.

6. Keep a planner to stay organized
Keeping a planner makes life less crazy. It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun. Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. Balance your time and give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to an appointment you don’t have time for or don’t want to have.

7. Keep track of your wins
Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements. For example, I got a write up in an online magazine http://www.t2conline.com/a-call-for-coaching – that’s a big win for me so I wrote it down. If I hadn’t written it down, I wouldn’t have remembered it. Writing down your wins, achievements, and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with you and helping you start your journey towards your best self! Don’t forget to check back next week for Part 2 where we will cover points 8-13! Love yourself! Until next time!

Ready, Set, Audition! The Actor’s Workshop for Confidence and Success

Identify and shift negative thought patterns that are holding you back in life.

Live Fully Self Expressed.

Overcome Your Fear & Insecurities As An Actor

Live a Life of Freedom and True Power and
Get the Job of Your Dreams!

An audition “is a trial; a hearing given to a singer, actor or other perforer to test suitability for employment, professional training or competition” as per Dictionary.com.

Congrats! You’ve landed the audition that you’ve been dreaming about! You are about to be put to the “test,” you are about to show ‘em what you got. Now what?  How do you handle the pressure? Where do your thoughts go?  Do you immediately jump into fear, judgement, worry and anxiety? Or do you keep your cool?

What thoughts do you have about yourself before, during and after the audition or interview? How do you relate to yourself? Is your head filled with self-deprecating or negative whispers? Do you find these whispers get in the way of stepping into your full potential during the audition?

In this workshop you will find out what is holding you back from landing the job of your dreams. You will identify your negative thought patterns and learn to re-create your role in life, specifically your role as the “auditioning performer.”

Believe it or not, your thoughts and understanding of your experiences (past, present & future) fully determine the path you will take in life. Oftentimes we aren’t able to see how our thoughts and judgments are holding us back. This Workshop will help you uncover just that.

Together, we will go beyond what you can figure out on your own. You will discover ‘who you are being’ during an audition and who you want to be. You will reinvent and re-create your role as “auditioning performer”. You will redefine your concept of self and shift your thoughts and actions surrounding auditioning and interviewing.

Learn to audition free from fear, rejection and disappointment. Land the job of your dreams, create the career of a lifetime and learn to enjoy the journey of creation.

Saturday, July 22, 2017 from 10:30 am – 12:30 pm
At the Theatre at St. Clement’s, 423 West 46th St, NYC
Fee: $40 In Advance Online.
Day of Workshop: $47.00 Cash Only

What you don’t face will and can hurt you

face your

To face what’s not working in your life, you must take an action step to complete it. By completing I mean letting go of all the drama that you have surrounding the things you are choosing to face. Do not make it wrong or make yourself wrong about it, release it and let it be. No more complaining.

You might have to take action and even risk not being right or even not being liked.

From time to time we all experience situations that we do not like or that seem remarkable, uncomfortable, embarrassing and/or painful. These situations might often cause vulnerability. These feelings or situations can be lived with. You might not relish them, but you have survived the year experiencing them. The situation might be one area of life that is not working so that unconscious voice inside orders you indirectly to hide the experience behind clichés, myths and points of view. All the while, you are not realizing or accepting that self-denial is what is in the driving seat. Hello Baby!

Some of these clichés might live in the following statements:

It’s none of my business.

Don’t air your dirty laundry with me.

One drink before bed is fine, granny did it for years.

One more cigarette I’ll quit tomorrow, what can one do.

I hate the job but it pays the bills.

He does not mean to ___ me.

It’s just this one time what can it hurt.

I’m sure he’s going to pay me back he said he would.

Credit cards debt is normal everybody has some.

Someone else will do it. It’s not my job anyway.

People like us __________.

Those kinds of people ____________.

A good percentage of the time, it is human to make up reasons why things are the way they are. If you don’t accept the denial of making up reasons, you create more reasons on top the first set of reasons. That is what we do. One denial brings a mountain of reasons that we automatically believe to be real. By not facing why the problem turned up in the first place, we fail to acknowledge the situation quickly. When we face our problems, we experience less pain to begin with and the problem becomes easier to resolve.

Sometimes reasons why something is not working the way they ought to is a bunch of bubble wrap. The car would not have broken down on the highway if I had taken it to the shop sooner. Now there’s a tow truck and repairs to pay for. One top of that, the triple AAA membership expired just a day or so ago. This is a perfect example of what could have been avoided had the situation been taken care of when it first came up. It would have been cheaper, saved time and if some integrity had been put in the situation might never have happened.

Ask yourself: are you willing to take steps to get past your states of denial? Are you willing to face your states and situations sooner than later instead of hiding out with it in denial? Real power exists when you face life head on, even when you do not feel like it.

Jump in, get help, clear the denial so you can breathe. You know who you are.

Take responsibility for your life, for all the things that you do and do not do. No more pretending not notice that something is missing, not working or was not done.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life and helps them build up their personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping you clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, you can take deliberate steps, own your voice, speak your truth and have the freedom to Live Life Your Way.

YOU’RE INVITED. JOIN US!

Calling In The One Unapologetically – Completion Celebration
Saturday, March 19, 2016 from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Calling In The One

REGISTER HERE!

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous.

The Power of Choice

Choice is an amazingly powerful tool for creating what you desire.

However, it has to be pure choice, devoid of ambiguity.

Be Bold, Responsible and Direct.  You have to feel it deep; you have to own it with responsibility.  Responsibility is about ownership – ownership of your life.

Sometimes you may be afraid to make tough choices or to realize your dreams because you don’t want to fail and take the necessary action to fulfill and manifest them.  Fear feels so real and runs so deep for people that many don’t know that fear is running the show the suffering that comes from this.  Fear is not personal, and it affects each and every one of us.

Your beliefs and self-image are woven into the very fabric of your reality.  Your self-image lives inside your subconscious mind and is always leading the way for the life you are creating.  If you have a certain self-image of someone that is always failing or losing, you may create a similar looking universe where you are always failing or losing.

For myself, I discovered that I created a world in which I never attracted the right man.  I always got the wrong guy.  I created beautiful men who were picture perfect when I wasn’t dating them.  But the moment I start dating a man – whoever he was – he quickly became the wrong guy for me.  With this discovery, it became imperative that I raise my awareness of my self-image.  My self-image was running the show.  We looked awesome together, and then, he was wrong. I had to choose if I wanted to keep this kind of self –sabotaging of my self-this world where I always choose the wrong guy.  This self-image impacted all of my life.  Wrong guys led to wrong friends, never enough, wrong areas, wrong apartments, never enough, and not good enough. All of these were beliefs that I had to decide if I wanted to hold on to or change.

This self-image concealed the best that life has to offer, and I could no longer picture what the best looked like.  This kind of discovery of the self takes courage to put us directly on Front Street, aka exposure, transparency, truth, or whatever we wish to call it.

Personally, I do not want to put myself out there and be vulnerable and transparent.  My tiny self would rather hide out than risk exposure.  However, my big self, my powerful self-image desires amazing relationships with an abundant life, and concealing myself and not knowing what my self-image is will not afford me the life that I truly desire.

If I maintain this self-image and let it take over, I’ll never experience positive change and growth in my life or anyone else’s. I’ll have a tiny life and be a tiny, miserable, ball of yuck! That’s not a life for me. I am committed to having a powerful, loving, supportive self-image and respecting myself. That is the life that I’m observing right now.

What about you? What are you observing and creating in your life?  If it is not your best life… then quit it. 

Calling in the One Unapologetically is for women who are ready to live and recreate themselves by expanding their capacity to give and receive love in their live and live their best life.   So make sure your self-image is really yours and exactly what you want to live your best life.

Find Your Voice. Gain Your Power.

nikkytok/Bigstock
nikkytok/Bigstock

It’s time for you to speak up for yourself and find your unique voice. Create the way you want to be treated and live.  How will you ever find peace? If you allow people to treat you like a doormat, then a doormat is exactly what you will become.

Do you find yourself upset, resenting people, and not taking responsibility for what you say? Is your stomach constantly in knots? Do you find yourself swallowing your voice?  Then you might discover that the emotion behind all of this is your anger. You might be angry at your boss, spouse, friends or children –and most of all, you may be angry with yourself.

Are you getting assignments at your job that you don’t want?  You do it anyway, because after all, you’re good at it.  However, you’re now getting overloaded with work and you want to do something different, something with more zest.  But, you’re afraid to take a risk and ask for it.  You’re afraid of your boss, because you have all these misconceptions about him or her – she speaks fast, she shouts when she talks and this intimidates you, for you definitely don’t like confrontation.  You’re frustrated and afraid.  You feel confronted, you don’t know how to build up the courage to ask for what you want. You don’t want to be rejected, and so you suffer in a (loud) silence and continue on with the piles of work on your desk.

With fear of this kind, how will you ever get your boss or anyone to listen to you?  Subconsciously, you decide that you’ll keep doing the work you’re given and not make any waves.  In doing so, you allow yourself to get even more burned out and constantly feel upset.  You feel inadequate.  Now the job you once loved and were hired to do is becoming a very heavy burden. Instead of taking action and using your voice, you continue to get yourself worked up inside (for you dare not express yourself), and ultimately you become angry with yourself for staying silent.

As a result, everything in your life begins to get on your nerves, and you start a cycle of constant complaining.  The job that you once loved and fought so hard to get is now a burden as well.  Why? Because you believe that you are cowardly for refusing to stand up for yourself.  Consequently, you enter a state of constant mental pain and feel sick to your stomach every time you get in the car to go to work.  Furthermore, you’ve wearing out your friends with your constant badgering and you’re bringing that negativity into your home.  As a result, you start contemplating quitting and finding another job.

Quitting: How will this situation make your life better?  The fact of the matter is it’s not the job or the people, it’s you.  You find another job, but the reality is that you will remain the same until you get to the root cause of the issue.  You have not learned to speak up for yourself.  You are at the mercy of other people, hoping they will be able to read your mind. If you don’t make the decision to practice this and learn from your mistakes, you will continue to create this negative scenario over and over again. You start living in your head, creating self pity like “I am not appreciated.”  The more you say it, the more you believe it.  The more you believe it, the more it will show up, as you start looking for this self pity everywhere you go.

Finding your voice is an important achievement; it facilitates your ability to create yourself.  Creating and using your voice are two of the most important ways to have and live the life you want.  Imagine for a second what happens when you don’t have (and use) your own voice?  When you allow others to dictate your life by virtue of what they want because you allow them to control your voice?

Imagine again for a second that you create an abundant love for yourself and your voice. What would you be able to be, to do, to have in your life?  Would you have the ability to create confidence and self-respect? Would you be fully established and free to have a powerful, impactful voice?  Would your voice be an important factor in how you lead your life?  Speaking out our voice is the one thing that separates humans from animals and other primates. Communication using language helps you communicate your needs, wishes and desires to yourself and others.

Furthermore, the implication of not using your voice is the effect this silence has on your personal belief system. It becomes your reality. This is your life and you get to live it how you want.  It takes practice to release our negative habits, ideas and images of fear.  The first step is always the hardest, but if you do it, it will be the most memorable thing you accomplish and the spell will be broken.  Fear nothing, and you can attempt anything and everything.  But most of all, speak up for yourself, find your voice and display your personal power.

If someone asks you for a favor, first be clear that you want (or are able) to help them out. When you’re doing things you don’t want to do, this only creates resentment towards others and yourself.  Many people do favors they don’t want to do, and have not learned to tell someone “no”, or “I’m not the best person to help you with this”. Instead, many of us want to help too much, and when you live like this, you go against your feelings.  When you choose to be honest with yourself by honoring yourself, expect that some people will not like it, or that they could resent you.  People might think you’re selfish.  Nobody wants to be called selfish; everyone wants to look good and not lose face.  This often leads to a feeling of obligation in some way to another.

It is important to make your life, thoughts, goals and time your main priorities.  It is important to commit to yourself every day.  If you do favors you don’t want to do, you will get lost in the other peoples’ desires and expectations, making you feel bitter and upset. These feelings cause uncertainty of where you will be and about your choices. It is critical to be clear about what you will and will not do, as well who you truly are.  You can make your life a priority by being responsible acknowledging your thoughts and feelings when they arise. This commitment lets you be free to make the choices you want and take action, thereby providing you with a strong sense of who you are and allowing you to be happy with the choices you make for yourself and your life.

If you do not honor yourself, you will not be able to honor others. You will know when it is important to be selfless and when to flow with the priorities you have set in your life.

No, you cannot hang out at my apartment at 8:00am.  That might seem harsh to some people, but be honest with yourself what one will and will not do. It helps one feel better about oneself.  It is not one’s intention to hurt another’s feelings and also does not want to hurt one’s own feelings by saying yes when no is what is really meant.

Being honest with your desires provides your life with the respect it desires, as it frees you from creating resentment towards yourself.  Over the years, I have trained myself through pain and suffering that I must be honest with myself or as I honest as I possibly can.  Sometimes, it does not feel good to refuse a friend or a loved one.  However, when we respect our own choices, feeling good or bad has nothing to do with it.  We are just honoring our higher self and learn that we are not responsible for everyone’s happiness. And we realize that we cannot choose another’s happiness for them.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

I Have a Dream

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 5.25.06 PM

Was one of my favorite speeches long before I knew who Martin Luther King was.  I knew Martin Luther, regarding the Lutheran Church and I soon discovered Martin Luther King through my reading in school. As I write this I Really do not recall how I even knew about Martin Luther King.  I was born in 1963.  Martin Luther King was Assassinated: April 4, 1968, Memphis, TN. Anyway, he did give his speech.  I Have a Dream Speech in my life time, I was 4 months old, probably drooling somewhere while it was on the radio or TV and it poured into me as the silence fell upon my home. However, at 15 it touched me when I was doing my Secondary School Oral Exams for my final year at school.  I choose it because it spoke to me. In a way that it was powerful, romantic and captivating in the only way my teenage self would know.

Fast forward when I arrived in the New York and I started to hear more about this man and His Dream.  I fell in love with his power and real grounded idealism.  His power and Idealism that changed a world.  So when they fought and won to give MLK is own day, I vowed that I would never work on that day.  I would do what I love and find my own dream.  So today, I have my dream.  I empower people to live their dream, to own their voice and speak their truth and live life their way.  I love Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I love his stand for the world.  I love that is power and commitment to life was so powerful that he went for it.  That he went to jail, he got stabbed, chased and bitten by dogs and finally gave is life for His Dream.  To me it was a selfless life.  A full life.  He was a very young man and I am honored to share the same date of birth with him.  I am honored to be able to live my dream as a Black Women in America and to have adopted America as my homeland.

What are you willing to give your, what is your passion?  Find it, speak it and life it.

Happy Birthday Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Calling in the One Unapologetically Begins Wednesday, January 20th and Thursday, January 21st

Noreen Calling in the One_Logo-HC[6]

citou2016
In this 9 week workshop you will expand your capacity to give and receive love in all areas of your life. The theme and vibration of CITOU is LoveX4 Expanded.

CITOU is attracting love in all of life. It is about being love, having love in all areas of your life.  Your career, finances, health and well-being in area of your life.  It’s about creating what love is for you.  It about you’re having appreciation of who you really are, it’s about expanding yourself, going for everything that is important to you being bold owning your power.  CITOU helps you live your life and loving it without apology.  It is about getting started now! from where you are in your life.  It’s about having the things you want passionately, focusing and clarifying with your goals and having them materialize.  It about owing that you are creator of your life and the things you desire.  That you have value and are valuable, that you’re past is the past and that you have and are no such thing as failure.  Come release fears, empower yourself and your life, developing your self-awareness by being courageous.  Finding your rockets of desire and shooting for them.  Creating your life deliberately and ride.  Don’t know what you want, stuck in conversations.  Blank to your desires.  Bring it all.  Calling in the one will have you muddle through and create what you want authentically from yourself and your life.

January 20th   Brooklyn – The Herb Shoppe
Cost: $390.00
394 Atlantic Ave Brooklyn, NY
January 21st NYC –   Pearl Studio’s
Cost: $497.00  
500 8th Ave New York, NY

Times: 7:00 pm – 9:30 pm.  
Please RSVP  
917 945 5907 or noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

Tea and Coaching with Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Healthy tea cup jar of honey dry lavender flowers and teapot on background. Selective focus. Retro styled.

Location: The Herbshoppe

394 Atlantic Avenue Brooklyn NY 11217

Date: Saturday, January 23rd

Start Time: 1:00pm to 2:45
Price: $20.00

Introduction to Calling in the One Unapologetically. Expand your capacity to give and receive love in all areas of your life authentically while having tea.  Start expressing the love that you are by taking action owning your true self and loving it.

The participants said the Introduction to Calling in the One Unapologetically was such a wonderful experience.

“I really learned a lot about myself from this one evening and it wasn’t even the workshop. I am happy I came and it was better than what I expected.”

Please RSVP – space is very limited.

917 945 5907

Noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

Click here to pay

I am a Woman. Not a Bitch.

Bitch, what a Bitch, I cannot believe she’s so Bitchy, She is one hard Bitch. People will say all sorts of thing about you, Have you noticed when a woman is confident and feels truly good about herself, knows what she wants, has clear concise boundaries, is on her way to developing her personal power and awareness in a healthy way she is often referred to as Bitch or something else quite negative. Some of her friends might even say things like she has changed.  Of course she changed who wants to stay the same. Who wants to remain ignorant and insecure?  I don’t think any woman wants that.  Life is a series of choices and so we change. 10407999_10202924996459871_1227667475578912505_n

Well, I say to hell with it.  It is time to stop seeking external validation, being nice and living in guilt and being afraid and people pleaser, by downplaying your needs by putting yourself last. It’s time to own your personal power and deal with yourself by:

  • Owning the Power
  • Standing up for yourself,
  • Learning to be Selfish and pleasing yourself
  • Going for your desires.
  • Playing a bigger life game
  • Bringing forth your personal power

Yes, so what. The word Bitch might have negative connotations; but in some areas of life if you’re a woman on a mission and up to big things at some point you will be called a bitch to your face, but more often than not it’s behind your back.  It’s important to become okay with yourself the way you are and not feel you have to defend yourself against stupidity.

Human’s gossip, it’s normal. When people don’t know you they will make up all kinds of stories about you until they find out the truth.  I have a saying, if no one is talking about you, you really not up to much.  but, when you’ve learned to deal with fear and yourself the term bitch, will no longer have control over you and you’ll experience major growth and personal power, that any comment made about your persons will no longer produced a negative feeling or result, it will be like water of a ducks back.

A Woman Owning the Power Within

Loving your power within, In order to love the bitch, you have to know and own that bitch.  In this article, the power I’m referring to or creating is a strong, confident loving person that has healthy boundaries, knows that nothing is personal.  This Bitch accepts herself for all she are and all she is not.  She is grateful for her mind, potential and life and is willing to create anything she wants and experiences she know the mistakes she makes are a part of the journey of growth and development, knowing that nothing is ever really wrong, she is responsible for their life the way it is and the way it is not.  She is open to living a joyous life knowing that things happen for her greater good.  She knows she has choices and can complain or be a victim in a continuous cycle of negativity and righteousness rightly or wrongly.  However, she knows that life is a series of polarities.  The Bitch I speak too she is someone that has experiences in her past that cause her to have a limited perspective.  However, she has chosen to let go of them over and over again and remain present in her view of their life when the past presents itself, and having the past and all its negative experience fall off her like water off a ducks back.

Standing up for self

This Bitch she is okay with herself.  She sees no need in fighting fights of no possibility. She is smiling more often than not.  She is aware of the noise in her head and can silence it when it presents itself.  She has compassion for herself and lovingly let’s go when she is not being compassionate over and over again.  She knows how to use her past as a reflection of what she’s learned and knows that she has learned it so well that it will never have to be relearned again, she does this by acknowledging her positive past.  She is confident and can stand for herself and her beliefs without making another wrong.  Her belief are her beliefs and she shares them knowing that no one has to have them or agree with them.  They are hers until they too are discarded with her growth.

Learning to be Selfish and please self

She knows how to be selfish, however, the kind of selfish that she is, is knowing that she does not come from a deficit in any area in her life.  She is abundant in her way of being.  She does not give away what she cannot and does not have.  She gives 100% because she coming from a place of self-love, abundance and generosity.  Love of self, self-value, honoring and of worth.  Self-love is a heartfelt experience, being kind, gentle and giving unconditionally the love she has 100%.  This is not the kind of woman that is aggressive and negates other people’s rights.  She is empowered and thus empowers others.  She is willing to take responsible for her life and give up making excuses.  This is not the kind of selfishness that does not care about her effects on other people.  She is not aggressive with self-dominating or controlling others.  Being Selfish means that you make sure that you take care of self and when you are completely taken care of intuitively you have an abundance of self to give away.   When you say yes, you mean yes.  When say no, you mean no there is no questioning of choice.  Everything is sent out for the highest good and everyone receives the highest good back.   Now that’s not to say that you have never screwed up.  Screwing up help you see where you have no power.  So those nights and days spent upset afraid and hurt, have help you grow and develop yourself and your power.

Going for your desire.

She goes for, knows and asks clearly for exactly what she wants.  She also knows that clarity is one of the keys to having so she does not have to settle for less than what she wants.  Saying, she does not know is okay because she’ll find out.  She also knows that if she has the right to go for her desires so does everyone else.  Abundance is not just for her it is for the world.  Being fulfilled in all of her desires is important.  Furthermore, she has the power to reject rejection on all fronts so with that everything she desire is hers for the asking and expecting because rejection doesn’t really exist.  Rejection is really an inherited concept rooted in fear that’s been passed on and is rooted in one’s concept of life.  Desires are important.  She will ask as many times as it is necessary to get what she really wants.  She knows when she stops asking for her desires, it not that she cannot have it.  It’s that something better has shown up and taken it place. Desires are continuous and so we keep on asking until old desires are met and new ones are created.

Playing a bigger game

She knows that playing a bigger game in life does not have anything to do with size or amount, it means being authentic and honest with one’s, thoughts feelings not being attached to anything and any one.  Having the freedom live in expectation of one’s dream but always being unattached.  Being happy with her choices so that her energy can be directed where she would like it to be and free of anxiety.  She believes in herself and she believes that all things are possible.  She knows to achieve the life she wants and the game she wants to play believing in herself is a choice.  It’s an attitude that she has developed for herself overtime.  She does not blame her family for the hand that she was dealt, or the race, physical size or class that she was born into or with she knows that she is responsible for her own concepts and she can change them.  Her game in life is personal to her and no one ever has to agree or want to play.  She is okay about other people’s opinions about her games as she knows their opinions are none of her business.  She knows that opinion as like bellybuttons and everyone has one.  However, playing her game in accordance to her truth is paramount it’s a peaceful process so that her energy can flow so her thoughts and idea can come easily.

Bringing forth your personal power

The Complete Bitch has personal power is personal power she needs no reason, she just is.  It is your very own.  It is hers and hers alone.  She knows that I speak too knows that if she is going to be successful in her life in her own right, she knows that it’s the way she handles herself that has her be who she wants to be and Owning the power within.  She says who she is and it is none of her business what people think about her.  Personal Power is within us to create the lives want, the life we dream about and the life that we were born to live.  You have to claim your personal power.

Consider, what if you owned the Bitch within, gave up complaining, took responsibility and started being your full power. would your life look like?

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Life is Beautiful. Life is What You Say It Is.

"Free Spirit" by Amanda Cass
“Free Spirit” by Amanda Cass

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

Martin Luther King Jr.

These women took a leap of faith into Calling in the One Unapologetically. They made the commitment to open their hearts, unlock the ability to give and receive powerful love. Here’s what they had to say.
 

“Noreen’s coaching of CITOU, came at a time that I was going through some life transitions and it made a remarkable difference in the way I began to live my life. In each session we explored who we were and what we really want and need in our life. CITOU works in mysterious ways that I would consider very sacred and safe as you start to see life and what we experience in new empowering ways. It shifts our usual thinking and reacting to open up something more. It is about getting who you are and letting go of things that stop us. The way the group was structured contributed to the richness of the course by allowing everyone’s experiences to be heard and understood. Noreen’s style is fun and funny, she is cheeky, chic and coaches us to be and life our best life. Call it in!” -S. Shah, NY

 

“I loved participating in CITOU. For me, this workshop was an opportunity for me to clear away my past regrets and let go. I literally had phone conversations and email dialogues with past romantic interests where I happily admitted to and subsequently released my months (or in one case, years) of negativity, bad feelings, and/or withheld communication. This is was something that I would never had done before.  CITOU provided me the freedom to honor my thoughts and feelings about my past and thus allowed me to leave them in the past. The only way that I was able to communicate with each person in such a transparent way was because I had released the shame and embarrassment that I had around my romantic attractions gone awry. This workshop cleared away the pains of my romantic past. I am ready and excited to create new, sexy, intimate romantic love in my life!” -Jackie, Brooklyn, NY

 

“Noreen is a super-dynamic and caring leader! Through, she will lead you through many various and delightful stages of growth and discovery in CITOU! CITOU will rock your world!!!” -H. Sells, NY

 

“The Calling in the One Unapologetically course has been both eye opening and fulfilling. With a history of dead end and often heartbreaking relationships, I was at a point where I was giving up. Then, I met Noreen. Her work as facilitator of our group has brought us together to work hard and look at where we’ve been inauthentic about ourselves and our actions in having a solid, loving relationship come into our lives. I’ve gotten so much compassion and support from her. My awareness of how much I settle and how little value I give myself when it comes to love is both confronting and cathartic. I now have a new outlook for my future and am gaining a new understanding for what I really want AND what I don’t want… am committed to continuing to build myself up and love myself so that I have that overflow to give to another. I am experiencing a shift into seeing that what I want is possible and that I can truly have real, unconditional love in my life. Thank you so much for this course.” -Rachel, NY

Diabetes, Stay the Hell Out of My Yard

 

I was diagnosed with Diabetes on October 8, 2014. I went into my doctor’s office for a routine blood pressure check. Routine for me because my blood pressure had soared and I could not distinguish what has it go so high? I was afraid and got myself in action to lower it. However, on this day it was lowered. The nurse asked me if I had any pain. I did, I had a slight pain in my stomach. You know one of those ones that you know will pass nothing serious. She said give me a urine sample, gave me a cup and off I went.

Copy of _DSC0173-86Anyway after a little while the nurse came back gave it to the my doctor, who is absolutely fabulous I might add and she broke the news that I had Ketones in my urine and wanted to know if I had any systems. Well, I had and I had been monitoring them. I had told myself if they continued for more than two weeks I would go visit Dr. Allison. Well, Dr. Allison told me I had classic systems of Diabetes. Tingling in toes and fingers. I was not thirsty and I was not peeing a lot. She told me, she was going to do an A1C which is a Diabetes and Hemoglobin test. I should make an appointment to come back in the morning. Seriously though, I knew I had Diabetes.

Fast forward, the next morning at 9:00 am. I am sitting in Dr. Allison office and she tells me I have Diabetes. She was so sad. I think she was sadder than I was. I’m sitting thinking “oh boy I’d wished it had passed me by”. Then I retracted my thought “no because I am the perfect one because I’ll right this situation.” My brothers and sisters might not and they have not. Anyway, I did not know if I should react, was I numb. I listened carefully to what Dr. Allison was telling me because I know enough to know I could have been checked out of the conversation that Dr. A. was having with me. So I listened acutely. She said don’t worry we can fix this, we can manage this.” I asked can this be reversed. She said “Yes”. However, I’m going to start you on Metformin”. Which is what is given to people with Diabetes. She also told me if my glucose was just a little higher she would have sent me to the hospital where they would have shout me up with Insulin and I was to take 2 Metformin a day.

One in the first week and increase to two the following week. I asked if I could do this without meds. She said that you could with medication, diet and exercise it can be reversed.

As I sat in her office, I made up my mind right there that I was going to reverse this situation. I asked her to give me 6 months. As In six months, I knew I could have this shit beat. Fuck that. This girls got work to do. Life to live and I need all my finger, toes and my sex drive. Seriously, it was my sex drive and looking good that got me into action. I like mittens and I want to wear them with choice not because I don’t have fingers. My toes are ugly to me, and I want them so I can wear sandals. I literally sprung in to action. Lose 10% of my body weight in fat and I would see a difference. Well I in that moment choose to lose the 52lbs that was living on my body and not paying rent.

She signed me up for diabetes education with Toni Aronstein. Toni a hippy like woman, which I liked immediately because she was weird. I love weird people. I made and appointment to see her and actually got to see her almost immediately. Toni, wanted me to take 4 tablets per day. I said not. In turn, I told her that I could have this beat in 6 months. She said “it’s was recommended’. I said “no”. It’s recommended. It is not required. Since, October 9, I have been taking 1 tablet per day and I have only missed 3 days.

I educated myself and learned a lot about Diabetes, created a video, enrolled my friends in my journey with Diabetes to support me and call me out if I don’t live inside my commitment. The saying goes that “It takes a community to raise a child”. I discovered, it takes a community to help me heal. Especially if we can’t heal on our own. The people in my coffee shop supported me, they don’t sell me cakes. Today, March 30, 2015, I am back in the normal range of a person that never had Diabetes.

People, I am a Personal Life Coach, I motivate people to take on their lives and live with Freedom and power. I believe in Happy Woman Happy World, can you imagine what that would look like. Women being able to accomplish anything that they desire. I have lost 39lbs thus far and have 16lbs to go. I love my work, I love what I do. I run workshops for women in New York City. As with anything some people just will not change. I believe that, I have to walk my own talk. If I cannot walk my own talk than for me what is the point. I might as well take down my shingle and go the hell on.

Some people will take on what I provide and transform their lives, others will put the information in the closet and continue to do things their own way not even giving what they paid for a shot or take action. While, this can be heartbreaking it comes with the territory. Some people are terrified and scared of change and other believe that they are set in their ways. All of it is fine. Not everyone will benefit for having a coach.

My Diabetes educator, loves me my doctor loves me. Why because I have made her job worthy. They job is to educate me to take actions to get the results I desire. I desire to be healthy. Of the 100s of people that she works with only a handful will do what she had prescribed. A small amount will do exercise, eat correctly and get the sugar down. They did not believe that I would do what was needed to reduce my sugar. The thing is I know me. I was committed to doing it. Most people want change in their lives and they do not want to take the actions to get the change they desire. I don’t want change. I am creating transformation. Most people do not want to take the steps to create the results they want. Most people want the quick fix, the get rich schemes, instant health which does not exist. So they give up. They give up on their dreams, desired, health, love in some cases everything that is important to them. My being healthy, has my doctor fulfill on their dreams for being doctors and making a difference and I am happy about that.

They is a large turn around in the field of motivational help and coaching, health wellbeing, relationship, finances people have interest and are curious. However, most people are still not willing to do what it takes to heal themselves.

The bottom line is I am a personal life coach, I love my life and my work. I am committed to myself and my life and I am committed to the people I work with.

Thanks for the knowledge I have and the commitment I am. Diabetes, AKA Betes stay the hell out of my yard.

 

 

 

You Are NOT Too Old. Just Start Something!

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Are you fed up with wanting things that do not seem to materialize? You want someone to make your dreams come true, you are mad and frustrated at times, you feel resentful of complete strangers and even more frustrated at people on television who seem to have it all. In spite of this, you cannot seem to get your butt off the couch to make something happen. You’re so glazed over by the TV that you cannot even think, let alone dream. Some of you might even think that you’re way too old to dream any more. I heard two women speaking, one asked the other, “do you sing any more?” The woman who was asked looked away as if searching for a distant memory. “No, I don’t sing any more. You know after you get to 40 you’re washed up and nobody wants to hear you.” I thought that was pretty depressing. It is sad and disappointing when we give up something that gives pleasure because we believe we are too old. If that really was true, what would we look forward to for the rest of our lives if our dreams die off as we age?

Age has got nothing to do with dreaming and dreams: think of women who are in retirement that have started new businesses, gone back to school, gotten married, travelled the world. A woman who is living her dream and going after things that are important, is expanding her capacity to dream and make her dreams a reality. I am also sure that they were not thinking that they were too old, and even if they did, they did not heed that thought for a moment.

Well, relax and get a grip on yourself. All that whining and droning on is not going to make any difference. What you have to do is drag whatever your conversation is about yourself – whether lazy, heavy, sad, disappointed, rejected … bootie up and make something happen. It is difficult at times to drag any part of your anatomy when we are feeling all of the above. Many of the above statements are judgments and limiting beliefs that we make up about ourselves and believe to be real. These judgments and beliefs can block creative juices and we end up feeling stuck and bad about ourselves.

No-one wants to hear whining, least of all you. You don’t want to hear yourself whining. Are you the kind of person who complains a lot? It does not have to be to a close friend, it can be to a co-worker or neighbor. You know, the person who lives up the street who you see now and then, who you start to drop all your woes, anguish, sadness, wretchedness and straight-up misery onto. My God, nobody wants to listen to your misery. The constant complaint is that you’re trying to release your upset. Please give yourself a break and stop! No-one really wants to hear about you not making any money, your lack of relationships, no social life, how old you are, etc. It is depressing and upsetting and most of all you’re reminding people of their own issues. Please stop, quit, listen to yourself, shut up and change direction.

Life is a wonderful playground filled with all kinds of adventures. So there! Now that you know that life is a wonderful adventure play-ground, play in it! What adventures do you want? What games do you want to play, what dreams do you want to dream? Can you or would you be willing to put your age in the background and start creating, and are you willing to go after a dream or two?

So, honey, you might not have any idea what you want. You might say, “I want to be happy.” All the people on Planet Earth want to be happy, and that is a great start. Start looking at the things that would make you happy and I would say be happy. Happiness is an emotion. It is a natural emotional expression of what people feel when they are doing things that make them happy. A baby lying in its stroller/crib on a nice warm sunny day who has a clean diaper and their stomach is full does not have a thought about being happy. The baby does not look up at its parents and say, “Mother dear, I just want to be happy … if only I could walk and talk to you, I would be ever so happy.” NOT. The baby is just happy being a baby.   You understand conscious and subconscious, right? You can be, do and have anything you want. So why are you whimpering about happiness. People, just be happy.

Do you know that the universe has every kind of adventure that your mind could ever create? It’s just for us to create something. Do it. If you don’t like it you can change directions and do something else. That is the beauty of the universe; it will not make you wrong. You make yourself wrong. You add the feelings of guilt. It is important for you to create the adventure or seek out the adventure that you want.

Did you ever stop to think that not knowing what you want could be a great place to start, because the point of not knowing gives you the freedom to create from nothing. Think about it. You get an opportunity to just start something. Anything, but something. Just starting something can lift your energy and get you moving. It does not have to be anything that others think is special. What is important is that you think it is important. If you think it is important to you, then go for it. It just has to be something that feels good to your soul. Many people know what that good feeling is. So if you do something and it generates a good feeling then keep doing it.

(Please note, however: not all things that create good feelings are healthy, e.g., illegal drugs create a good feeling, however, they are not good for you and you will end up in a not so good condition or place. Alcohol can give some people a good feeling in the beginning. However, it is not to be used as a substitute for happiness. I am talking about things that make you feel soulfully good and happy. Soulfully happy for me is a feeling that when you think of it, it brings tears of joy to your eyes and my heart feels full. Or other times, I get this fresh-air feeling that just goes straight to my heart. Hey, you know your soulfully good and happy feeling and if you don’t, start looking for it.)

Once you have found your soulfully happy feeling, you have connected with the thing that you want to create. What do you think could happen in your life? You start to feel happy and you experience happiness. Instead of having those non-productive conversations where you are miserable, start having conversations that are filled with energy and excitement. Instead of being an energy drainer, you now become a person who is glowing and sharing.   People start sharing your energy. You feel excited about what it is you are doing and people want to share and spend time with you. You start to look attractive and people are now attracted to you. They start to enjoy your company. You start to enjoy your own company. It is fascinating to see this happen.

Once you have a clear decision, you get to have real use of the adventure playground. You get to jump on all of the games and equipment the universe has to offer. You get to go to the ball. You get to have that dream of whatever it is you want. I am not going to put any ideas into your head because your ideas are unique to you.

Just start something!

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life and helps them build up their personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping you clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, you can take deliberate steps, own your voice, speak your truth and have the freedom to Live Life Your Way.

“Live Life Your Way”    www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com  www.BeYourselfAlready.com

Call 917-945-5907 or e-mail Noreen@NoreenSumpterCoach.com

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What’s Right For You?

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What is right for you? That is the question.

When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.

What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you want it provides you with passion.  You start to take action, regardless of fears.  You create an opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   There is a strong confident sense of knowing that does not need to be explained when what you want is right for you.

When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression and, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You stuck not knowing where to start.

Start by setting goals.

The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create provides service for others and becomes is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.

Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you. Ultimately, it is not about money, it is about the experience.

Set a clear picture of who you would like to serve is it men, woman, animals, the planet, to achieve your goal, or what is the experience you would like that have and provide to reach your goal.  Does, the experience make you happen. When having the experience is your heart happy, are you learning something, is your heart open, does time stand still, can you expand the time you have? Are you energized? Do you feel free. It is an experience that says, “I could do this for free if all my needs were met? If the answer to this question is yes. You know what you want.  You job now is to find out how you will provide and service these people so you can have what you desire.

Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients, money, life, love and service we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to create the structure.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what the structure.  Get relax and trust yourself.  Notice the fears that will start bubbling and your conversations about your success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  They are just a feelings, that will show you that you are not present and that will stop you from taking action, push through.

As you begin to create what you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win even when you feel you are losing and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.

What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Schedule a conversation with Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: 917 945 5907, noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

Past, Present and Future NOW!

There are parts of the past that we love to dwell on and sometimes wallow in. The present is where life exists; it’s what is happening now and is alive. The future is what we pray, hope and desire to live into and get to.

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The past has teeth – or maybe dentures

The past has really strong teeth. The bite of the past can be one that is either relished or resisted. The bite depends on whether your teeth are real, or dentures.  The strength of the past is clever as it works with all human emotions; it works with our perceptions of the world – not the way it is but the way we believe it is (or was). If we are stronger than the bite of the past, we have courage to let go of the past, not feed it the nutrients it requires to feed off our memory and have us make unworkable choices. Our minds automatically use only the parts of the past that it thinks are valuable and rarely allows us to play in the now, and before we realize it we take small steps into the future one step at a time which rapidly become our past again.

The past can be like an elderly person who has lived life from a place of complete joy or can be from a place of complete sadness. One of them is happy and full of life, able to see life newly in a way that continues to bring happiness and joy; they age but continue to grow. On the other hand, the person who has chosen to live from an unhappy, distressed place sees life as a burden, everything is difficult, life is heavy and they are depressed and angry and don’t want or cannot transform their situation; they are dying. They aren’t willing to attempt anything new or see life as an opportunity.  The past runs their life and they are not growing.

The present is full of possibilities

Life in the present is spontaneous, open and full of possibilities.  The past is worthless and has no real place in the present other than it needs to be there (it thinks) in order to “protect” us.  It’s a good thing, because otherwise we would get run over, or fall down the stairs, etc. The present is committed to the things that bring joy and moves life forward step by step, moment by moment.  It is full of endless possibilities where issues are forgiven and put aside; when a lesson is learned, what occurs from that situation can always be useful. There is never any right or wrong: only what happened. The present allows life to be lived from a very powerful place with a sense of awareness that creates a life of creativity, imagination and wow! The present makes room for trusting intuitions where many doors are always open in the now; living with a fresh outlook. In the now, life issues become easy and accessible bringing your goals to you faster.

The future makes no promises

The future makes no promises; it only depends on one’s perceptions of life. Its view depends on how one holds that gentle glimmer of hope. The future has lots of different textures.  Some are soft, hard, rough and smooth. The textures of the future are like the textures of life.  It all depends on the ones that are wanted or attached to.  It also can be held in the grip of the fear of the past. The future makes no promises that your goals will be met, and it is always met in the now.

The future is patient; it allows for one step at a time in the now.  It likes the structure of making plans.  However, it is more likely to work out when a plan is flexible yet unwavering in its commitment, and dedicated while being free from any type of attachment.  No easy task!

The future likes that you are clear about your requests and does not operate from complaints. In combination with the present and the universe (life unfolding moment by moment) such a way of operating can only bring what is desired. It is required that you monitor your thoughts and remain present, free of doubt and fear, meticulous and present to negativity (they come from the past) into your thoughts. Being free of all concerns is truly an impossibility – what is possible is noticing that you have doubt (or fear or any kind of concern or consideration) and put it to one side (do not operate from those concerns/considerations) because that is where you have power. This means you can just be human and be superhuman at the same time to the degree that you catch yourself doing (or thinking) the things that don’t work for you.

The more authentic you are, the more you become aware of the powers of the past on what is in your now; only then can you can feel the present clearly and the future will just take care of itself because of the observations and declarations you make in the now. You will see that the trio will be obedient to your requirements, keeping in mind that the past is always poised to infiltrate into whatever way you go.

The past, present and future have power. By using your mind to catch yourself, you can learn discipline that will help you handle and work with them in the now! The key is working only in the NOW – as everything else is just either in the past or in the future where you have absolutely no control, so there is no need to be concerned about the past or the future at all!

Noreen Sumpter
Personal Life Coach
718 834 9450

Whatever You Can Do, Or Dream You Can, Begin It

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Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment definitely commits oneself, and then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of event issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect of one of Goethe’s couplets.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

W. H. Murray

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

What Do You Want?

Do I look scary here? This is what I look like when I don't know what I want.
Do I look scary here? This is what I look like when I don’t know what I want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first 10 people who read this article and email me at noreen@noreensumptercoach.com will receive a 15 minute focus session to discover what it is they are really looking for! 

In reading a copy of Dr. Robert Anthony’s Advanced Formula For Total Success (which is so old it’s falling apart; the edges are brown), this book now my new favorite thing.

What are you looking for? Last year, I could not find a date even if I paid for one (I’m exaggerating). That was what life and dating looked like for me. So I created a workshop entitled Calling in the One Unapologetically with the intention of sharing the course with other women. This year I have dates coming out of the woodwork! Men are complimenting me all over the place. Men are looking me up and down and smiling. Also, men who want to date but have some issue that blocks them, such as a devastating disappointment and heart break they cannot even pull the trigger to show up on a date.

Instead of the upset I used to have, I now have compassion. Because through leading this workshop, I too am learning about myself as well as learning about others. I am making available what I uncover for myself and providing the space for other women to uncover what is going on for them, also – having a relationship of their dreams, a love of their lives. Whether it be a man or a woman, they get to experience what the vision of their relationship would look like and they get to have an experience of who they would like to be in a relationship.

When you know what you are looking for in a relationship you can have it. Consider that you’re looking to have a relationship, or you are already in one. Notice that as soon as you settle yourself into what you want, you are able to see it all over the place. The moment I settled myself into having a relationship, all kinds of men started showing up. It’s like with anything, the moment you decide – whether it’s a job, or clients, a lover, or an amount of money – the opportunities start showing up and the information becomes available.

When I had no idea of what I wanted in a man, I could not see men and they were passing by all of the time. For years I was having the hardest time dating! Knowing exactly what kind of relationship I wanted helped me distinguished the kind of man I wanted and then my awareness of all this helped me obtain it.

If you don’t know what you want, whatever that is, the information on how to get it will not come through. And if somehow it does magically come through, you will most likely not notice it. No matter what you want in your life, you have to start saying something different and something that has value before you can have it – so it is important to always stay in tune with your declarations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Once Upon A Time…

My workshop, Calling in the One Unapologetically, officially started last week on September 18th 2014. The experience was wonderful to see women who describe themselves as shy show up powerfully in their lives. They now realize how their self-declaration of “shy” had disempowered and impacted their lives. They can now see how they were not able to express themselves fully when it came to their personal lives.

In one exercise the women were invited to write about their quest for love in the form of a fairytale. Who doesn’t love a fairytale?

"Zonnestralen" by Onderwijsgek - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5-nl via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zonnestralen.JPG#mediaviewer/File:Zonnestralen.JPG
“Zonnestralen” by Onderwijsgek – Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5-nl via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zonnestralen.JPG#mediaviewer/File:Zonnestralen.JPG

Once upon a time there was a maiden who was fair of face and full of joy. Her parents loved her and named her Noreen. When Noreen was born, she was sickly, weak and suffered many bronchial illnesses. However, as she grew up she survived the childhood illnesses and grew into a beautiful woman filled with happiness. Her joy would be experienced all over many lands. Her laughter was contagious, and she loved to dance. She was creative and lived her life out loud.

As she grew and developed into a fine young woman all the men in her court wanted to bask in her sunshine. She learned that some were not so honorable. Due to certain circumstances, many of which were not of her own making, some of her beliefs were inherited from the other women in her court and their stories made her afraid.

Noreen became afraid of some of the men and soon the fear cut her off from much of humanity. She became tough and she learned to defend and protect her heart in the worst way. She began to carry a heavy mallet within the folds of her gown. The mallet gave her a sense of security where she could strike anyone with it in an instant. Noreen became known for using her mallet without discretion and the men at court became more afraid of her than the dragons they slayed.

By now, Noreen’s heart was shut down, lonely and remained ever lonely until one day, while sitting in the garden wondering if she was doomed to spend her life lonely and sad, without the love and protection of a man, she wondered, was she to experience a life without passion, romance and affection and always be at the ready to use her mallet? There must be more to this meager, painful existence, she thought. Then, it was almost as if the gods had heard her plea when Veroesjka, one of the princesses who was known for her beauty and kindness came by and asked “why so glum dear Noreen?” Noreen shared her fears and concerns around her lack of love and then Veroesjka gave her a book called “Calling in the One,” the work of Katherine Woodward Thomas. Though resigned and shut down not believing, Noreen read the book and almost like magic a feeling of possibility and wonder exploded from her heart and surrounded her in 100 diamond pieces around her heart and head. Noreen instantly fell in love with her life. The book transformed her life and her relationship to herself so much so that she decided to put down her mallet and turned it into a beautiful wand and it is now a mystical tool.

With wand in hand, Noreen set about experiencing herself as love which was her new power. She discovered that her wand is a mystical power tool.   Her heart was glowing, growing and expanding every day. Noreen set out on a journey and shared love with women of the court. She saw that a happy woman makes a happy world and that it was a gift that was given to her to share with all the woman of the lands. And her sense of love grew with strength and softness and she continued to share her message of Happy Woman Happy World with other women who too had been afraid and closed down around love; women who had forgotten their passion, dreams and desires. They had lost their trust in love and romance.

Noreen, together with these women banded and branded themselves as Doulas, women who served other women to rebirth themselves, their passion, dreams and desires and be there for others. Upon coming together, each doula was bestowed a wand and they went out into the world with reopened hearts.

During this time Noreen began to be courted by the men of Court OkCupid and sometimes the men of Court Tinder. With the men of Court OkCupid and Tinder Noreen would go for long walks in the Forest of Fort Greene. Her walks became known as the Walk of Knowledge. During the walks she found that if she shared openly her desires, the men would do the same and share their secret wants, needs and desires of their heart. Noreen soon discovered that some men’s hearts were a deep and lonely place. They wanted nothing in the world than to serve women and to be useful, to love and be loved in return. They wanted to give their attention to a woman. During,these walks, she saw the hearts of men were just as tender as that of the women. It was a wonderful experience and during the walks men returned healed, heard and complete.

The moral of the story is that we are men and women. We are similar yet obviously different. Love is just as universal as pain. We are all seeking to express the love we have within. We all have a choice to love and be loved by whomever we choose and our power is rooted inside of our love. Noreen continues to work in the Forest of Fort Greene with the men of Court OkCupid and Tinder. She has found her eternal love and knows it exists within her and she is sure that she will find the man of her dreams.

Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach. Her workshop for women in NYC is called Calling in the One Unapologetically. In this workshop women expand their capacity to give and receive love and reclaim parts of themselves that they have long disowned. www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com

5 Signs You’re Lacking Confidence

“Confidence is a characteristic that people recognize immediately it is a way of being, you either have it or you don’t, but it is often apparent on first meeting.  A person with confidence is like a ray of sunshine on a really gray day. Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.” Franklin D. Roosevelt 

confidence

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, confidence is a way of being. The first question that one should ask oneself is: Do I feel confident? If so, in what areas of my life do I feel confident? If you feel your confidence is missing, what areas of your life is it missing from?  How can you develop your confidence?

Confidence is something that is important in all aspect of one’s life.  It is important to have a healthy dose of confidence so that you can live your life comfortably and happily! It helps you connect to people in ways that open you up to say what you want, and allows you to share yourself and create feelings of connection.

Here are five key signs that you may be lacking confidence in your life:

  • Not being present in the moment
  • Not being responsible
  • Not having personal boundaries
  • Not having an authentic sense of self value
  • Not asking for what you want authentically & with integrity

You may find confidence to be missing in these areas/circumstances: career, relationships, after a divorce or loss of something or someone important, emotional loss, or loss of a personal experience that mattered in your life.

Understanding the power that having personal confidence provides open doors and enables you to create the life you want. Confidence is a development of self and that it is something that you can grow and develop within your life.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

 

 

Why the Monday Morning Blues? Try the Monday Morning Happy.

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Get happy with your choice to be at your job.

I had a fantastic weekend. I did every absolutely everything I wanted to do.  I ate frozen cherries and berries, I watched movies, I read, I slept, I chatted with a few people. I connected with friends on Facebook added and found old friends.  I had a great weekend.

Did the thought of going to work on Monday make you wince? If so, I’m sorry to hear that.  Do you know more people have heart attacks on Mondays? Stress – this is a common experience for a lot of people. When you get on the subway this morning, did you notice the misery on people face in the subway car?  No one seems excited for the work day.  Most of the people riding to work are in a funk and are complain about how much they hate their jobs, bosses or what they do.  People are dissatisfied with the work life.  LET’S CREATE SOME SATISFACTION FOR A JOB WELL DONE TODAY. 

Most people hate their jobs, they hate their bosses and they are in some sort of upset with their co-workers.  Most workers had no idea who they were or what they wanted to do when they took on their jobs/career. The one desire was to make money.  Now that you have been on your job for a number of years, you feel stuck, locked in, and feel you have limited job options. Your money is good and you’re afraid to leave your job or switch career gears. You are afraid that you might be trapped in the same job doing the same thing for the rest of your life.  WHERE COULD YOU GENERATE A SOME COMPASSION FOR A CO-WORKER, COLLEAGUE OR BOSS YOU DISLIKE TODAY? GO ON, JUST TRY!

What Is Your Potential? Most workers do not know their potential. They have settled for whatever it is they have settled for.  Many people find out later that they have gone against their true nature for money and work and so they are not doing the thing they want to do.  I remember when I worked a job where l longed to make a difference and I did not know what I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted to be happy and make a difference.  WHERE COULD YOU USE YOUR POTENTIAL AT WORK TODAY DESPITE HATING YOUR BOSS AND YOUR JOB?

I changed my job because I was sick of pushing papers.  I didn’t love my job, but I liked and I loved the people I worked with and that’s what kept my energy going.  I liked talking to them. Work for me was like a social event, because I love people.  So no matter where I was if there were people present I could make myself happy. WHERE COULD YOU BE WILLING TO FIND SOME HAPPINESS AT WORK TODAY DESPITE THE FACT THE YOU HATE YOUR JOB?

How many times did you hit the snooze this morning? Now, I have life the way I want it. The truth is I always did and so do you.  You are on your job and you chose it.  You may not like you job or enjoy it as much as you did when you first started, but it is yours.  For those of you who are happy on your job, congratulations, and for those of you who are not, I am very sorry to hear that. So, what are you going to do?  If you answer is nothing, stay in your cubby and leave the happy people alone.

Do you feel obligated to go to work?  Do you hate your job? Please, I beg you stop hating it.  Hate is a robber of energy and it doesn’t provide you with anything positive, least of all it does not provide you with room to see your greatness and create newly.  Hating impacts everything in your life and keeps you stuck and keeps everything away that is important to you. No one is forcing you to go to work or to do a job that you do not want to do.  That is a choice you are making every day.The sad news here is that you don’t even know you’re the one making the choice.  You’re the one sucking the energy out of your life. 

Today is Monday and already some of you might be thinking of Friday.  Let go of that thought and come back to the now.  This week start doing One Thing.  One thing that you can be proud or.  Challenge yourself.  I will assure you if you do one thing today, tomorrow up until Friday you will have so much energy by the end of the week and you will be happy.  Stay in the now, be present, and Friday will come without you forcing it

Create a mindset that you will be happy at work and start going within and ask yourself, if you’re not happy in this moment, what can you create right now that will make you happy with your work and yourself?  Maybe you need to clean up something.  Maybe you could do that task you have been putting off.  That conversation you want to have but you’re afraid to have.  Take an action that you are afraid to take.  Or do that one thing that you have been avoiding.

You can spend the next 8 to 10 hours being or you can create it by being happy. The truth is you choose.  So choose, wisely and happily. 

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Take Your Time: 365 Days to Start Anew.

What have you in mind for New Year’s Day, 2014?  What do you need to say and do to have 2013 be finished so you can step into this shiny New Year of 2014?
What doubts and concerns do you have right now, and are you willing to accept and let go of them?  How do you want to spend the brand new days ahead?  The countdown starts at 12 midnight the last day of December. Take your time and ask yourself, who will you be kissing and counting down the seconds with?  Will you be at a party reveling with others celebrating?  Will you be at home settled in with friends or family.  Will you be home watching TV or sleep through it?
How will you bring in the New Year?  Will you have paper and pen at the ready to create your new resolutions?  Do you even create resolutions? Will it be the typical conversation you have with yourself about weight loss, losing the excess weight that has been stuck to your body for the last few years? Or spending less on lattes and frappes?
So we have a New Year. What are the goals that you want to set to have your mind take massive actions to achieve them?
What is the vision that you will create for yourself so that you will live a life of fulfillment and satisfaction?   Create a vision. Live your vision.

Photo by Brett Jordan
It’s 2014 soon, and ahead you have 365 brand new days to Live Your Vision.
The past:

What is the past?
Where do you think the past lives?
What is the past to you?
Is your past in your face, like it is going on right now in the present?
If you put your past where it is belongs (in the past) what do you have available?
Is there anything that your past can contribute to your life in 2014?
If you were to put the past where it belonged, what is it that you think that you might have that’s new or different from before?

The Future:

What do you have in store for those brand new 365 days ahead?
What will you ask for in 2014?
What will you create for yourself and your life in 2014?
What are you willing to throw out of your life this year and put in newly?
What unreasonable requests will you be willing to make in the New Year 2014?
What fears, upsets, hurts are you willing to learn from and release in 2014?
What and who will you choose to forgive in 2014?
Now imagine: it is 2014 and this is a brand new year.  Many things will happen in 2014. 2014 will have 524,160 minutes in total for the year.  When we break it down in this way what is your experience of time?
However, it is the same amount of time that each and every one of us on the planet is allotted if we are lucky.
Will you do what you love this year or will you sit around judging yourself and being afraid that if you do what you love you will be judged by others for it?  What comes naturally for you and what do you have to work on?  This year, is it time for you to look at what you are passionate about or just be a member of the Complaining Committee.
What is your reason for the New Year?  If you take a look at your life, what do you think you are here for? When I say “here for,” I mean in this life.  What are you on this planet for?
•        I am here first and foremost to experience a life that I create.
What does that life look like?
•        I am here to learn and grow in all facets of life.
•        I am here to help and be helped.
•        I am here to expand my human capacities.
•        I am here to heal and forgive
•        I am here to love and be loved
•        I am here to be kind
•        I am here to be happy and share happiness
•        I am here to learn to take risks
•        I am here to learn to trust life and others no matter what
•        I am here to experience life fully no matter what
•        I am here to live in the moment
•        I am here to give up the past
•        I am here to revel in my joy and the joys of others
•        I am here to know that it is okay to fail and it is through failure that I recreate and learn
Can we just be quiet for a moment and start looking at life in a way that focuses us on the things in life that make us happy?
Happy? What is “happy” to you?  People talk about being more happy/happier in their life; they want to be more happy.  How do you become more/happy when you may not have distinguished the happiness that you already have?  There is no such thing as “more happy.”  There is only being happy.  Happy is expansive, happy is our natural way of being.  Happy is all there is.  When we are happy we are being with what is.  We are being authentic and living in the present which is our natural state.  We are at peace with ourselves and all that is happening.  We are not making ourselves wrong, by tearing ourselves down piece by piece.  We are living in the moment.  Oh so happy.
When we are not happy we are asking someone, please show me more happiness.  Happy is like more chicken please when you have a whole roasted chicken on your plate and you have not even stuck your knife in yet. You have not even tasted it and yet you want more chicken, not knowing if the chicken that you have on your plate even tastes good.  Consider that if you work with the happy that you have, the more happiness that you want is already there. It will expand and you will be happy.
Who is responsible for your happiness?  The only person that is responsible for your happiness is you and only you.  No one can make you happy.  (Corollary, no-one can make you unhappy!) Happiness resides in you or not.  Anyhoo, I love that anyhoo, anyhoo, anyhoo, I feel like an owl when I say hoo.  Back to the story at hand.  We as humans talk about peace and happiness in the world and often times we look out into the world for that peace, not realizing that the peace that we seek outside ourselves cannot be found until we find peace and happiness inside ourselves.  The longer we live in upset and not look at what it is that has it be there, the longer we will be upset.
I am the only person that is responsible for my happiness, I am the only person responsible for peace.  Peace lives inside self and when peace is not present inside of self then there comes a time to ask, whose responsibility is it to put it in?
I have friends who are upset with me. We all have friends who are upset with us.  I have been upset, disappointed and sad with this situation.  I don’t like to be upset with anyone.  My friends are wonderful and there are times when our relationships take a turn and they can get ugly.  I do not profess to be an angel.  I am a life coach and I am always learning, expanding, growing as a human being.
I have a commitment to be open and honest with myself and my life.  I have a commitment to be powerful, successful, creative and abundant.   I have a commitment to never cause harm to another person.  Am I guilty of all of these things?  Yes.  I know it can take a lot for me to keep all of these agreements and will I falter?

Absolutely. I do know, however, that there is peace and happiness as I maintain this commitment now and throughout the New Year.
Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach who works with High Achievers who have dreams and gifts.
What’s one of your aspirations?  Maybe it’s a dream that you have forgotten or you have begun to give up on.  If that vision were awakened and alive today, what would your life look like?  Take a moment to dream and think about what you want for your life so you can take deliberate steps, owning your voice, speaking your truth, having the freedom to live life your way. “Live Life Your Way”
www.noreensumptercoach.com  917-945-5907  https://www.facebook.com/noreensumptercoach

What do you want from your life?

Photo by Son of Groucho
Photo by Son of Groucho

 

At the end of the day, what do you really want for yourself and your life? What are the results and benefits that you want to accomplish? What will you do to walk away a winner, having what you want?

Below is a list of the tangible, measurable results that you may want:

1. Confidence

2. Accomplishment of your personal goals

3. A strong self-esteem that rockets

4. Trust in yourself and in others

5. An experience of happiness with yourself

6. Creating your own truth and thus making it your reality

7. Freedom

8. Strong, generative passionate relationships

9. Grounded, connected and at ease with life

10. The past in its place

11. Abundance of health, wealth, love, power, success and creativity

12. Creating your passion and sharing it unabashedly

Some very simple questions to ask yourself.

Is there anywhere in your life that you are not recognizing your power, your strength? Think about it.

Do you know who you are?

Do people really know you?

What do you like about yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

Who do you have disagreements with and are you willing to clean them up?

Would you like to create a new image of yourself that reflects your true being?

What’s the quality that you would like to express: courage, compassion, love, trust, etc?

What is in the way of you developing those qualities?

What would you look like with your new quality?

What would it provide for your life?

How can you make your life a priority?

Are disempowered thoughts keeping you trapped and robbing you of your self-worth?

How to rediscover what you really want

Photo by EvelynGiggles
Photo by EvelynGiggles

What is right for you – that is the question.
When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating over and over again what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.
What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you really want it provides you with passion.  You start to take real action, regardless of any fears.  You receive the opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   When what you want is right for you, there is a sense of knowing that cannot be explained; it can only be expressed.
When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you can lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You don’t know where to start.
Start by setting goals.
The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create that provides service for others is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.
Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you.
Set a clear picture of how many clients you need to achieve your goal, or how many units you need to sell to reach your goal.  Then get yourself energized.  Find out how you will provide and service these people.
Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients you want and the money we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to be able to have the structure in place to be ready.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what you desire or want.  Get straight with yourself.  Notice and look at your fear of success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  It is just a feeling, not a fact.
As you begin to create what you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.
What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Coach Sumpter and Goethe on Life and Confidence

Goethe, I love Goethe. Who is this Goethe Person you might ask? He was born in 1749 in Frankfurt Germany.  Died 1832.  He was one of Germany’s most influential writers.  He was lauded as the prince of German Poems.

Goethe: Where there is hesitance, the chance to dram back ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation.
Coach Sumpter:  Until one is confident, no action will be taken and no results will be gotten.  You would never know what could have been, always living in regret about the things you woulda, coulda, shoulda done. Your regret will turn into resentment, anger and boom! You’re stuck not going forward.

Goethe: There is one elementary truth – that ignorance of which kills countless idea and splendid plans that the moment definitely commits oneself providence moves too.
Coach Sumpter: Until the moment you detach from the internal, repetitive conversations that you wallow in, nothing will happen.  Your life will remain on autopilot that will drive you to make yourself wrong. When you let go and detach from these old ideas, all things become possible. You will think of solid actionable ideas.

Goethe: All sorts of things occurred to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  
Coach Sumpter: We are always in creation.  However, with creation comes the feeling of fear.  With fear you’re always aware of the bad things that can happen. You wind up always talking about what you do not want instead of focusing on the things that you desire.  Focus on what it is you want and don’t ever focus on what you don’t want.

Goethe: A whole stream of event issues from the decision raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material substance which no one could have dreamed would have come your way.
Coach Sumpter: When you take action and say yes to your desires, the games you are playing disappear. When you share your desires, you get excited and your faith in your thoughts, ideas and life becomes strong.

Goethe: Raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material substance which no one could have dreamed would have come your way.
Coach Sumpter: Ideas, thoughts and then confidence start to unfurl because you are out of your head. Fear no longer has a grip on you.

Goethe: Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Coach Sumpter: Your confidence, dreams and desires begin to take shape. They bring you back to life. You become excited about living.  You realize that lack of confidence and fear have no place in your life.

Goethe: Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Coach Sumpter: You become bold, exciting and attractive as you develop your confidence.

Go for the life that you want NOW! Stop talking, stop making yourself wrong.
Make yourself RIGHT – Today, Tomorrow, Always. Call me to see how 718 834 9450.

Own The Bitch Within

“What a Bitch!”   “I cannot believe she’s so Bitchy.”  “She is one hard Bitch.”

Have you noticed when a woman is confident and feels truly good about herself, knows what she wants, has clear concise boundaries and is developing her personal power in a healthy way, she is often referred to as Bitch. Some of her friends might even say things like “she has changed.”  Of course she changed.  Everyone changes over time.

Who wants to stay the same? Who wants to remain ignorant and insecure?  I don’t think any woman wants that.  Life is a series of choices and so we change.

It is time to stop seeking external validation, by being “nice”, living in guilt, feeling afraid, being people pleaser, or by downplaying your needs and by putting yourself last. It’s time to own your personal power and deal with yourself by:

•    Owning the Bitch Within
•    Learning to be Selfish
•    Going for your desires
•    Playing a bigger life game
Bringing forth your personal power

The word Bitch might have negative connotations; but in some areas of life if you’re a woman on a mission and up to big things, at some point you will be called a bitch to your face.  But more often than not, it’s behind your back.  It’s important to become okay with yourself the way you are and not feel you have to defend yourself against stupidity.

Gossip, is a part of life. When people don’t know you they will make up all kinds of stories about you until they find out the truth.  I have a saying, if no one is talking about you, you really not up to much.  But, when you’ve learned to deal with fear and yourself, the term bitch, will no longer have control over you.  You’ll experience major growth and personal power.  Then any comment made about you, will no longer produce a negative feeling or result, it will be like water off a ducks back.

A Woman Owning the Bitch Within

In order to love the bitch within, you have to know and own that bitch.  In this blog,  the bitch I’m referring to is a strong, confident loving person that has healthy boundaries.  She knows that nothing is personal.  This Bitch accepts herself for all she is and all she is not.  She is grateful for her mind, potential and life and is willing to create anything she wants to experience. She knows that mistakes are a part of the journey of growth and development.  She knows that nothing is ever really wrong.  She is 100% responsible for her life, the way it is and the way it is not.  She is open to living a joyous life knowing that things happen for the greater good.  She knows she has choices and can complain, or be a victim in a continuous cycle of negativity and righteousness.

Learning to be Selfish

This Bitch she is very selfish.  However, the reason why she is selfish is because she knows she does not come from a deficit in any area in her life.  She is abundant in her way of being.  She gives 100% because she coming from a place of self-love, abundance and generosity.   Self-love is a heartfelt experience.  This is not the kind of Bitch that is aggressive and negates other people’s rights.  She is empowered and thus empowers others.  She is willing to take responsibility for her life and gives up making excuses.  This is not the kind of selfishness that does not care about the effects of her actions on other people.  This Bitch is not aggressive or controlling.  Being Selfish means that you make sure that you are taken care of. When you are completely taken care, you have an abundance of self to give away.   When you say yes, you mean yes.  When say no, you mean no. There is no questioning of choice.  Everything is sent out for the highest good and everyone receives the highest good back.

Going for your desires

This bitch goes for, knows and asks clearly for exactly what she wants.  She also knows that clarity is one of the keys to having it all, so she does not settle for less than what she wants.  She also knows that if she has the right to go for her desires, so does everyone else.  She knows that the universe is abundant.  Being fulfilled in all of her desires is important. Her desires are important.  She will ask as many times as it is necessary to get what she really wants.  She knows when she stops asking for her desires, it not that she cannot have it.  It’s that something better has shown up and taken it place. Desires are continuous and so we keep on asking until old desires are met and new ones are created.

Playing a bigger game

This Bitch knows that playing a bigger game in life does not have anything to do with size or amount, it means being authentic and honest with one’s thoughts and feelings.  Having the freedom to live one’s dream.  Being happy with her choices so that her energy can be directed where she would like it to be.  She believes in herself and she believes that all things are possible.  She knows to achieve the life she wants.  Believing in herself is a choice.  It’s an attitude that she has developed for herself overtime.  She does not blame her family for the hand that she was dealt, or the race, physical size or class that she was born into. She knows that she is responsible for her own concepts and she can change them.  Her game in life is personal to her and no one ever has to agree or want to play.  She is okay about other people’s opinions, as she knows their opinions are none of her business.

Bringing forth your personal power

The Complete Bitch has personal power.   She needs no reason, she just is.  It is her very own.  The Bitch that I speak of knows that if she is going to be successful in her life in her own right. She knows that it’s the way she handles herself and owns the Bitch within.   Personal Power is within us to create the lives we want.  The life we dream about and the life that we were born to live.  You have to claim your personal power.

What would you life look like if you owned the bitch within and gave up complaining? If you took responsibility and started being a woman and owning the Bitch within? I invite you to add your comments in the box below.

You Can Become An Olympic Champian

“But right now, I have no goals; I’m just like a bum.” Usain Bolt.

They came, they conquered or were conquered.   They all achieved their goals, some will play again.  Some will never compete at this level again. Some will go onto to train others by giving away what they have accomplished becoming coaches or leaving the sport of their passion entirely.    However, all of them are winners in their own right.

Michael Phelps, is still the fastest man in water, and now to add to his list of accomplishments breaking the all-time Olympic Medal record.  The old record was 18.  The most medals were won on land by a gymnast, Larisa Latynina. Michael record was won in the water with 19 medals.  Her record took 70 years to win. Michael’s record, who knows where or when it will be broken?

Phelps came and accomplished everything he and his Coach Bob Bowman set out to accomplish.  His coach put him through many rigorous tasks.  His coach readied him to be able to swim blind only being able to count his strokes in previous last Olympics.  Who knew?

The fastest man in the world “All Day Everyday” Usain Bolt ran for 36.84 seconds for the 100 meters.  What makes Usain Bolt so amazing?  Well, he has all the physical skills possible to attain his goal.  Actually the bigger question is what makes anyone of these athletes so amazing and powerful?  Yes they have the drive.  They’ve developed the skill, and they have the passion.  There is one thing that they also have.  They have coaches. Their win is also their coaches win.   They have coaches that help them plan what’s next.  The coach is in the background.  Very rarely is the coach in the foreground.  However, the drills that get done, the practice over and over again are planted and take root in the athlete mind, bodies and action are planted there by their coaches.  The Coach,  who each and every one of the players love and respect.  Their coaches are the muscle behind the curtain.

A coach will go to any length to train you to be number on in your level of performance. A coach will stretch you in ways that you can never stretch yourself.  Your coach is able to have you be all and more of what you want to be; always in the background, knowing your game, making sure that you know your game.

Usain Bolt has conquered all his current goals.  He came to be a legend and he is now a legend.  He say’s pertaining to what’s next for him “Right now nothing. I’ve done what I wanted to do. My coach and I will discuss what we need to do. But right now, I have no goals; I’m just like a bum.”

“I’ve done something that no one has done before, which is defending my double title,” Bolt said. “Back to back for me, I would say I’m the greatest.”  So would say that kind of confidence is arrogant.  I would say that is a person that knows what he came to do and did it despite the media comments.  He fulfilled on the measure.  Confidence is something that gives you a sense triumph.  A Coach is someone that makes you triumphant.

What do all of these Athletes have in common?  Yes, they have coaches and they take the coaching. The coach keeps them out of their head and in the game.  Who keeps you out of your head and in your games in your life?  When things are not working, or working the way you want them to do?  What do you do? How do you win in the games that your create for your life?  Do you quit at the slightest incongruence? Or do you just give up at the mere thought of what you think will take place?   Who helps you build the weak muscle in areas of your life that you would like to transform?

Having a coach will help you transform old patterns and limiting behaviors.  Find out more and read my testimonials of the successes that I have helped my clients accomplish and more.
•    What area of life are you tired of recreating over and over again?
•    What is the result that you’re not getting?
•    Are you waking up exhausted at the mere thought of another day being unfulfilled?
•    What are the wants, needs or desire that are not being fulfilled?
•    Are you doing the same thing over and over again looking for a different result?

Take Action! Get a coach that can have you be accountable and have you develop the confidence to go after your very own personal Olympic dream.

“Citius, Altius, Fortius” or as they say in Hip Hop “Go Hard”

The spirit of the Olympics is tantamount to life.  I love the commercial that says “Luck does not get you to the Olympic games.  You can’t wish your way onto the podium.  you can’t buy it or hope for it. It is not enough to dream about.  Luck did not get me to London, I swam here.” http:/You have to believe in yourself enough to take action.

I watched the Fab Five, McKayla Maroney, Kyla Ross, Aly Raisman, Gabby Douglas and Jordyn Wieber, dominate the Olympic team finals.  In an interview, it was clear to me that the Fab Five was clear about their future.  They believed in themselves.  And today, they are at the Olympics.  They’ve won the gold and fulfilled their dreams that were created when they were children watching the olympics.

The Olympic motto is Citius, Altius, Fortius, a Latin expression meaning “Faster, Higher, Stronger”. Baron Pierre de Coubertin’s founded the International Olympic Committee (IOC) in 1894. Ideals are further expressed in the Olympic creed: The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part.  Just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.

How did all of these athletes make it to the Olympics? They believed in themselves.  They had people who believed and stood for them.  They created their work, did the work, believed in themselves and acted upon their dream.

If you are waiting on someone to give you what you want, then you are not taking responsibility for your actions. You must accept that you are turning over your power to another person.   Where are you waiting for something to be to your liking? Do you get yourself upset because your boss has not given you what you want?  Your partner does not want you to be you? Your money is not the way you want it to be? Take the initiative and start believing in you.  It’s is up to you to increase your productivity and improve your performance.   Everything that you want is already in your own hands.

Be willing to give yourself permission to do what you want with your life.  What are the things that you could do that are necessary, keeping in mind that your life in not linear? There are a lot of things that have to be done so that you can have a full life while pursuing your dreams. Relationships have to maintained, money still has to be made, work still has to be done, food still has to be eaten, bodies and health have to be taken care of, fun still has to be had, vacations to be created. (You can’t forget vacations.)  There are no real excuses for not living your dreams, only the excuses you make up that stop you from taking action. There are still, and will only ever be, 24 hours in the day and what you do with them is entirely up to you.

Now you know that life is not linear.  Blaming people, places and things for your inability to take action on the things that you want is your way of saying and believing that you cannot have what you desire.  Making others wrong for sharing their thoughts and feeling is you not taking responsibilities for what is important to you.   In life, your timeline does not have to agree with anyone else’s.  Just because timelines, thoughts, feelings and agreement are not in alignment with yours, does not mean the other person is bad or wrong. All it means is it’s different.  Different is never bad or wrong.

Check in with yourself. Are you holding yourself back?  Hiding who you really are? Pretending to be something other than who you are?  Not sharing yourself and what is important to you?  Feeling fearful hurt upset and living in the past while pretending you’re present?  Believe in yourself and remember, you are the captain of your ship and any success you desire truly comes from you. Citius, Altius, Fortius Faster, Higher, Stronger. Or as they say in Hip Hop Go Hard.

How are you going to be Faster, Higher and Stronger? We invite you to share your ideas in the box below.

Who do you think you are?

Last week we were talking about defining your own sexuality. I asked you ” who do you think you are?”. It wasn’t meant to be asked in a tone with attitude. It is more of a definition of your sexuality. Its the kind of who do you think you are that rocks your boat.  This question has you get up in the morning and look forward to your day.   It’s the kind of question that when you think about it your mouth salivates, your fingers itch and you cannot wait to get share how you feel. That is the kind of who do you think you are that is interesting. 

The sad thing is that many of you have had the “who do you think you are” beaten out of you. When the question gets asked of you, you find yourself shrinking, experiencing confusion and feeling put out. Very few of you can answer this question and get excited about sharing.  Most of you were taught not to brag about yourselves or your interests. It is as though you never got emotionally feed. You had to find ways feed yourselves which kept many of your interests squashed.

So what happens when you feel squashed? Many of my clients experience a hard time going after what they desire.  They are good at their jobs. They have successful businesses and make money, but when it comes to their personal needs, they gets put on the back burner of their life.  They have a hard time going for what they want for fear of not getting it right.  Adults need to get things right which in turn gives them no freedom.    

Their dreams can get so clouded over they don’t know what they want for themselves and their lives. They have a hard time asking for help and support and don’t believe that they can get it.  They feel that something is wrong with them if they seek support. Many don’t believe they deserve help and will sabotage their successes by not doing the work.  However, when this becomes clear, they are able to flourish. They sabotage themselves because they are always the person doing the helping and are confused and frustrated when they need the help.  All this confusion and fear kick in. 

Most of all you are afraid to go after what you want. You are so afraid that you will be less attractive, seen as aggressive, and in some cases odd, if you go after what you want with fervor. You fear you might will be all alone Andes a result, you worry so much that you can’t have a life of fun, happiness or a find a life partner. 

It is important to really think about who you think you are.  What is important to you?  It is important to gain clarity and live in a world that you create for yourself with your rules.  When you know what is important to you and take the steps to develop the confidence to go after it, you will be confident in the world of who do you think you are.   Also, when you know who you are, you will learn that you are an evolving individual who can recreate yourself as often as you like.  If you feel that you’re sexy, hot, and the cat’s meow, you will be a bag of chips and all that.  Furthermore, your way of being will echo into the world.   Who do you think you are?  Think about it and be it.  
 

Flying By The Seat of Your Pants

You have a fear of something, so what do you do? What is your Trump card. By Trump card, I mean the way you behave when your back is up against the wall and you are being called to take action. Do you pretend and charge into denial? Do you hide out, stay out of communication and ignore calls? Do you shut down emotionally? Do you become defensive and get into fights? Do you strut around and tell everybody in your best cocktail voice that its’ marvelous darling, or do you speak in your loudest voice and assert that you are fine? Or do you just get colloquial say “I got this” when you don’t have anything? The best one yet is that you’re okay and that you do not need any support.

Then something out of the ordinary happens- you lost a job, a relationship, your money. Flying by the seat of your pants does not allow you to make real commitments. This lack of commitment has you live in the place of fear which has you isolate yourself from your feelings and disconnect you from people. A side note about feelings, I want you to know that feelings are fleeting. They come and go like clouds.

Your Trump card is how you have been being for a long time. With your way of being, you are not aware that it is destroying things that are important to you. Using any one of these actions is surely a way of destroying relationships. I have had people tell me that they are not loveable and cannot be loved. They don’t want anyone to love them. They are not committed to anything or anyone when that kind of communication is launched into the world. They have all these beliefs tied into ways that can be loved, like how long they know you. They just have limiting beliefs about love that only makes sense to them. Furthermore, when I say world, I mean the persons individual world where is occurs as though their putting seeds on a Formica counter top and demanding it grow without the right conditions. Their commitments cannot grow, they cannot form relationships and they are never present. They are like drifter’s on the planet not experiencing life’s wonderment, and they wonder why life is not going the way the want it to. They become upset, and people who love and support them find themselves working hard to support these people without anything coming back. Their actions are not personal. It is just difficult to be with these people. It just take waiting for these people will one day take themselves off the Formica counter top and plant themselves in the earth. Figuratively speaking.

With that fixed way of being, one cannot fully experience anything that life has to offer. Commitments become hard to accomplish. Fear of failure can be a fixed way of being that has you fear anything that calls for you to put yourself into action. Your internal conversations that you are constantly creating show up all the time. Thus you win at the game of being unlovable. So what shows up are people who also feel unlovable which creates more of the same in your life. This leaves you with a feeling of not being present to what is possible in life. Fear as is common to everyone. False Evidence Appearing Real.

What is your trump card? Your way of being that comes up for you when confronted or experiencing fear?

Do you have commitments that you fear?

Do you find yourself making commitments and avoiding them?

What are the limiting beliefs that are always stopping you in your life?

Are you flying by the seat of your pants with no plans?

Do you really know what possible for you in your life?

Do you have a fixed way of being that cause you to be fearful and you would like to shift it?

Man Energy and It’s Variations in Jamaica

Man energy and its variations in Jamaica, I received a tremendous amount of man energy.  Ladies, do you know that Man energy is everywhere?  Oh my word.  I discovered that man energy as I already know is something that comes in all shapes, sizes and textures. There are men that can give you more energy than you can ever dream about. 
 
There are men that can make you feel like the most amazing woman just by virtue of the way they are, what they say and how they are. They will pamper and cater to you every wish, dream or desire. They will make you feel warm, invited and give you a strong sense of belonging. There are men that have the most amount of patience. They can provide for you without you uttering a thought. However, don’t get it twisted. They love it when you think for yourself.  
 I uncovered some amazing things about myself on this trip.  Things that I never allowed myself to face, things that I could not know until I knew them. Thoughts and feelings that completely robbed me of my ability to be a confident vulnerable woman, I am so honored to uncover these things, I am a personal Life Coach and my niche is Confidence and Self Esteem. How can I serve if my confidence and self-esteem is hindered in anyway? I am very excited to uncover them because uncovering adds value to my life and service.

What I discovered about myself is that I am very impatient when it comes to men. I have limiting beliefs of how I believe men are supposed to communicate with me, with the last and biggest one is that I do not trust men so no man has a real chance with me. That was a horrible uncovering.

Now I want to look at the last one because that is the one that I had the biggest breakthrough with. It was the uncovering of the last one that had me wailing and crying through my sunglasses making it hard for me to see. Messy stuff that was the one that I had the most shame, and regret about.

Now, if you know me, I do not believe in regret. Because I believe regret just interferes with going forward in my life. What I uncovered was I am an inner control freak. My, (ICF) inner control freak has me date men that want to do for me but their circumstances cannot. My inner control freak says that the only thing that a man can do for me is F@#$ me. My inner control freak believes that a man will never ever be able to take care of me and most of all they cannot be trusted.

Imagine my upset when I uncovered this. Imagine, I am a woman that loves men. I love everything about men. I honor them in amazing ways, I allow them to serve me, but I just don’t trust me. When it comes to me being with men. I don’t trust that I can give up the control and allow a man in. That is so incongruent for me. Why?. Well it is incongruent because I say that I want a man that can be a man, a man that can take care of me and love me hard. One that honors me and allows me the same freedoms he gives himself. One that will do for me, be there for me, take care of me and keep me safe, all that I would do for him and more. What made me sad is that I have had men with all of these character traits this in the past, but what I have done is rob them of their ability to be a man for me. By overriding and being incongruent. Asking on one hand and not being able to receive it in on the other. (What a messy business)

Why did this make me sad? Well it made me sad because for the first time, I saw that, what I was asking for and what I was doing was so out of context. My discovery was uncovered on the ride to Montego Bay we were riding on one of the most beautiful strips in Jamaica along the beach and the sun smiling down on us with me drinking water from a coconut. What a way to have a breakthrough. (Perfectly yummy) I am riding with Andy my driver I used him all weekend when I was not with my Male host. Andy is a Rastafarian For those of you who do not know. A Rastafarian and Rastafari is a practice. The men and women are extremely spiritual and believe in natural living, no meat, nothing dead, vegetarian and or fish life style with herbs. Anyway, Andy allowed me the space to express myself, he allowed me to have my tears and share what I had uncovered. Andy also gave me the privilege of what he had heard from my friends’ phone conversation with me before meeting me at the airport. Andy said he figured out that that I was a pretty amazing woman. Thanks Andy. He told me that just because I can take care of myself don’t mean that I do not deserve to have a man take care of me. He said that any person that can make people laugh as much as I can has a tremendous amount of love; it was my responsibility to be happy and that I should allow a man the right to be happy taking care of me.

The conversation with Andy was very simple very plain. Sometimes, words get in the way, but with Andy they was so clear and so precise that I just started wailing because what he had just said to me resonated. I realized how difficult it must be for my ex-boyfriends and ex-husband to be with me. I realized that who I have been being in my relationships as controlling, fearful insecure and not trusting – for no apparent reason. So after Andy’s reasoning, I immediately chose to shift my mindset, believing that a man can and will choose to love, support and look after me. That I am deserving of all the love I desire. After, I finished wailing, Andy made me promise that I will allow love, true love into my life and that I will be the Empress that I will allow a man his rightful place to serve me. That is what he saw for me. So on that note, I solemnly promise to allow the love I truly desire into my life. So on going to Jamaica, I received man energy in the most abundant way “My truth.”

 Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life and helps them build up their personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping you clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, you can take deliberate steps, own your voice, speak your truth and have the freedom to Live Life Your Way.

   “Live Life Your Way”    www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com  www.BeYourselfAlready.com
Call 718-834-9450 or e-mail Noreen@NoreenSumpterCoach.com
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Quick Tips to Expand Your Life, Confidence and Self-Esteem

You’re Assignment:

Make a list of the things that are not working in your life. Clear out resentments.
Who are the people you need to have conversations with so that you can relief yourself of the resentments that have been brewing far too long? What kind of physical exercise can you do at least 30 minutes per day so that you will feel good about yourself?

What are the things that you find yourself obsessing about and that interfere with you?
Yes, yes that thing, that thing that you have been talking about for a long time. That thing that you know will transform an aspect of your life and make you feel good, but you feel confronted by. Is it about your weight, lack of relationship, finances and career?

I had a conversation this week with someone who was complaining about her health and well being, mostly her weight. She said that she was fat and she was doing all kinds of pills and potions to get in shape. She’s spending money on diet drugs. She knows she should get in the gym or work out with a trainer. Her conversation is that she has to lose weight before she goes to the gym because she was ashamed of being seen. I have heard this before. The idea of getting in shape before you start to get in shape.

Taking care of yourself is not just about losing weight and looking good. taking care of yourself is in everyday things as well. What my friend was doing was not avoiding going to the gym. It was avoiding taking car of herself. It was avoiding building her confidence and self-esteem.

Take care of yourself. Make sure that you eat healthy meals. It is said the 80% all diseases are preventable with a change in diet by adding 30 min of exercise to your day, and a fruit and vegetable to each meal.

Make an integrity list of all the things you would like to do that you have not done.
Completing an integrity list gives you power and frees you up to think clearly which allows you to be confident. Once you have the list set up an action plan that put things in time and space also know as time and date. Here are some examples:

– Remove summer clothes from closets.
– Remove all clothes that you do not feel comfortable in.
– Make appointments with your various doctors for check-ups.
– Request a raise.
– Renewal of licenses etc.
– Update your closet with items that make you feel good.
– Set up an exercise plan of action.
– Remove clutter mental, emotional and physical.
– Update you mental image: Is it time to remove ideas, thoughts and reason that negatively impact your life.

These are just a few for starters.

Until next week.

You are not too old, just start something

Are you fed up of wanting things that do not seem to materialize? You want someone to make your dreams come true. You are mad and frustrated at times, you feel resentful of complete strangers and even more frustrated at people on television who seem to have it all. In spite of this, you cannot seem to get your butt off the couch to make something happen. You’re so glazed over by the television that you cannot even think let alone dream. Some of you might even think that your way too old to dream anymore. I heard two women speaking and one asked the other if she sings anymore. Her friend looked away as if searching for a distant memory. No, I do not sing anymore. You know after you get to 40 your washed up and nobody wants to hear you. That is pretty sad. It is sad when you give up something that gives you pleasure because you belief you are too old. If that were true, what would we look forward to.

Photo Courtesy of The Round Peg

Age has got nothing to do with dreaming: think of people who are in retirement that have started new businesses, gone back to school, who have gotten married. I am sure they were not thinking that they were too old. They were just being in the moment and being happy.

Well, relax and get a grip on yourself. All that whining and droning on is not going to make any difference. What you have to do is drag whatever your conversation is about yourself – whether it your lazy, heavy, sad, disappointed, rejected bootie up – and make something happen. I know that it is difficult at any time to drag any part of our anatomy when we are feeling all of the above. Many of the above statements are judgments and limiting beliefs that you make up about yourselves and believe to be real. These judgments and beliefs block your creative juices and we end up feeling stuck and bad about ourselves.

Listen , No one wants to hear whining least of all you don’t want to hear yourself whining. Are you the kind of person that when you meet a friend in the street and complains? It does not have to be a close friend, it can be just a street neighbor. You know the one that lives up the street who you see now and then who you start to drop all you woes, anguish, sadness, wretchedness and straight up misery to. My God, nobody wants to listen to your misery. Please give yourself a break! No one wants to hear about your not making any money, your lack of relationships, no social life, how old you are etc. It is depressing and upsetting and least of all you’re reminding people of there own issues. Please stop, quit, listen to yourself, shut up and change directions.

Life is a wonderful playground filled with all kinds of adventures. So there. Now that you know that. Can you believe that is an Adventure play-ground? What adventures do you want? Are you willing to go after them?

So, Honey, you might not have any idea about what you want. You might just say “I want to be happy.” All the people on planet earth want to be happy. I would say just be happy. Happiness is an emotion. It is a natural emotional expression. A baby laying in its stroller/crib on a nice warm sunny day who has a clean diaper and their stomach is full, does not have a thought about being happy. The baby does not look up at its parents and say. Mother dear, I just want to be happy. If only I could walk and talk to you, I would be ever so happy. NOT. The baby is just happy being a baby. You understand conscious and subconscious. You can be, do and have anything you want. So why are you whimpering about happiness. People, just be happy.

Photo Courtesy of Navy Blue Stripes

Do you know that the universe has every kind of adventure that your minds could ever create? It’s just for us to create something. Do it. If we don’t like it you can change directions and do something else. That is the beauty of the universe, it will not make you wrong. You make you wrong. You add the guilt and feel guilty. It is important for you to create the adventure or seek out the adventure that you want.

Did you ever stop to think that not knowing what you want could be a great place to start, because the point of not knowing gives you the freedom to create from nothing. Think about it. You get an opportunity to just start something. Anything, but something. Just starting something can lift your energy and get you moving. It does not have to be anything that others think is special, what is important is that you think it is important. If you think it is important to you, then go for it. It just has to be something that feels good to your soul. Many people know what a good feeling is. So if you do something and it generates a good feeling then keep doing it.

(However, please note. Not all things that create good feelings are healthy. ie, illegal drugs create a good feeling. However, they are not good for you and you will end up in a not so good condition or place. Alcohol has a good feeling in the beginning. However, it is not to be used as a substitute for happiness. I am talking about things that make you feel soulfully good and happy. Soulfully happy for me is a feeling that when you think of it, it bring tears of joy to your eyes and my heart feels full. Or other times, I get this fresh air feeling to my heart. Hey, you know your soulfully good and happy feeling and if you don’t, start looking for it.)

Once you have found your soulfully happy feeling, because you have connected with the thing that you want to create. What do you think could happen in your life? You start to feel happy you experience happiness. Instead of having those non productive conversations where you are miserable, start having conversations that are filled with energy and excitement. Instead of being a energy drainer, you now become a person that is glowing and sharing. People start sharing your energy. You feel excited about what it is you are doing and people want to share and spend time with you. You start to look attractive and people are now attracted to you. They start to enjoy your company. You start to enjoy your own company. It is fascinating to see this happen.

Once you have a clear decision, you get to have real use of the adventure playground. You get to jump on all of the games and equipment the universe has to offer. You get to go to the ball. You get to have that dream of whatever it is you want. I am not going to put any ideas in your head because your ideas are unique to you.

Just start something.

Making Your New Year’s Resolutions

You can make one of these kinds of resolutions, but I am going to request that as one of my readers you go deeper. If you do, you can achieve all of these resolutions and more, from a place of who you are being, not what you are doing?
Here are some of the usual resolutions:

Spend time with family
Get fit, loose weight and fight the battle of the bulge
Quit Smoking
Get present and enjoy life
Quit Drinking
Get out of debt
Learn something new
Have fun

Photo Courtesy of Isabel Bloedwater

Would you be willing to throw out making a resolution this year and make a commitment? Would you be willing to be honest with yourself? This year would you be willing to try on BEING YOU. Being who you are completely?

Being you is one of the most attractive FULLING presents that you could ever give and be. One where when you make a choice fulfilled from a place of your word and love of yourself? How many of you would be willing to do that? This resolution will be coming from your being. Your human beingness not like the resolutions which comes from doingness.

What would your life look like if you truly made a commitment to just be yourself this year? Suppose you made a resolution to really get real with yourself. It would mean that you would have to get down to the root of you. You would could take on being vulnerable and courageous and living a life were you could have a life that you live, not a the life that you made up to look good and please others. But the life that is truly yours. It would mean looking at the things that you love about yourself. As for the things that you do not love about yourself, you would be committed to learn to accept them for all that they are and all that they are not.

Photo Courtesy of Jeff_Golden

Falling in love with you is the best resolution for 2012

So could you imagine for a moment a part of your body that you are always working on and are just being okay with it? For me it was the band of fat that lives around my stomach. But it just your stomach. When you are ready to release it, you just do. You do not have to make it wrong. I have learned to love that band of fat around my stomach because I have discovered the more I detest or hate it, the more it grows. What we resist, persists. So can you imagine for one second falling in love with your band of fat or those legs or thighs or that nose or whatever it is that you say you hate. What if you just accepted it as a part of you and learned to honor it.

So what if this year you gave yourself the gift of finding out who you really are and bring that you everywhere you went, instead of hiding out and not being yourself. So being who you really are and not who you think that you are supposed to be. Can you imagine the peace you would have knowing what pressure and stress you could release from your life instead of trying to be someone or something different from your true self. What if you just focused on being yourself completely. What if you focused on your life by the contributions that you make from just being you? What does it feel like to be known, heard and understood on a real open level? When you are being you, there is no longer any noise. There is just you being present in the moment and time.

Being yourself takes courage; courage is whole heartedly just being you. When you make a commitment to just being yourself and let go of all the false conversations that disempower you and make you feel bad about yourself. In this kind of commitment, when you are living in the now, there is nothing wrong. You are enough. You don’t have to look good, you can just look. There are no right people, there are just people. You don’t have to be smart. Whatever you say is the right thing. You don’t have to please people or be anything other than who you are. Being yourself is liberating. At first it can be uncomfortable, but once you get the distinguish that there is not right way or wrong way for you to be, life begins to unfold in a very exciting and amazing way, the worries and stress disappear. Life happens.

In 2012 be honest with yourself. Tell the truth to yourself be insightful. Your self worth is not based on what you do or how you look. Your self worth is personal. Having external definitions of who you are keep you trapped and rob you of your peace of mind, freedom and full self expression. It robs you of your God given opportunity of your creative source. When you get straight and honest with yourself, you are giving yourself an opportunity to know yourself for who you really are and then you share that with everyone and you begin to see people as the human that you become. Your life then becomes fuller. The meaning that you will give to your life will have purpose.

This year 2012, go to work on being who you really are. I would say practice but to be honest, your life is not a test drive, you are not practicing life. So this is why I say go to work on being honest with yourself. A lot of people might think that you are crazy. Don’t worry about it. You know you are not crazy. You are having fun with you, showing up being who you really are, bringing you to the party. When you bring you to the party of life, you will have more fun that you can imagine. You will realize that you are the party. You bring the party and the party comes to you. You will never ever again sit around waiting for any party to happen. Because you will bring the party in you. You will never have to censor your thoughts, dreams, and ideas. You will be present. You will be aware of the life that surges through your body. Your confidence will bloom. Your self-esteem will expand. You will be and become attractive- strangers will feel your energy and want to know you. Your friends will notice a difference in your way of being. You will notice a difference in your being. You will learn that there is no doing anything right. You will just let go and just be. How yummy could your life look like?

Being yourself

Be honest, speak your truth.
Fall in love with you.
When your integrity or your promises go out, put that back in.
Forgive yourself and others.
Get present- live in the moment.
You deserve to live the expression of you.
You are amazing.
You’re perfect inside your imperfections.
Be courageous with your choices and decisions.
Appreciate and integrate gratitude in your life.

If you would like help being you and want find out more about being yourself completely without the extraneous internal conversations. Contact me. I would love to speak with you. I am offering all the Readers a 40% of coupon for a Get Acquainted Call. Write to Tanya@NoreenSumpterCoach.com to set up your one on one call with me. HAPPY NEW YEAR. (Offer expires 1/15/2012. Offer transferable.)

How to Feel More Secure

Security exists internally.  Most people look for security as an external experience.  They think it is either something or someone in the world that can give security to them and that makes them feel secure.  No one or nothing can make you feel secure.  Security is something that you give to yourself first.  Like most things, if you cannot give it to yourself then no one can give it to you.  Nothing or no one can give you the security you are looking for, so if you are seeking it in a boyfriend, girlfriend, marriage, money, none of these things can make you feel secure until you feel internally secure.

 

Image of Woman typing on computer

 

Security, acknowledgement, and praise are all individual personal feelings.  One of the only ways you can ever feel secure is by giving security to yourself. The love that you need, a sense of belonging, a feeling of safety in your world, being able to self-validate, acknowledging yourself and recognizing your own accomplishments are the gifts that you give yourself.  Ultimately only you can fill your needs.

 

Security is a sense of having something in your life that calls you, that is bigger than you are it pulls you, your attracted to it.  When you are secure in your life the petty upsets are small in comparison to what  you’re up to.  When you are secure you have projects, you are growing and you are not looking outside of yourself for love.  You don’t have unattainable rules in place to give you a sense of security.  You are busy loving you and loving another in that order. You are not looking for the person to love you.  You’re not looking for the person to call you to check in, or you are not waiting to hear the words I love you.  You are being I love you- it becomes your natural way of being and your experience of love lives freely.  That kind of love is not a demand that is practiced in a specific way of so many calls a week, so many hugs, keeping score of how many times the person says I love you. The bickering about who always says what first.   That kind of love is not secure and has no space for freedom in it and the joy is sucked out of the love in a way that causes insecurity and you can become shut down or anxiety driven.

 

Woman looking out window

 

When you are secure you have an experience of growth and expansion in your life.  Your view of the world is a bigger place and the feel of the universe is abundant you feel known. When you feel secure you are open, you share yourself abundantly, you are willing to take risks and you experience an opportunity to be who you really are.

 

Many people are on a mission to keep their world safe by not speaking up for themselves, or no speaking at all.  Feeling like they cannot trust anyone and always living in a space of fear.  Consequently, when you live in a space of fear your world gets smaller and you experience even more insecurity.  However, when you face your fears your world expands and you feel stronger and secure in other areas of your life and you discover that you true feeling of security exists when you can meet your own needs without being a demand for security from others.  Give yourself a life filled with happiness where security is your own responsibility and what comes from others is a blessing that is received with gratitude.

 

 

 

What Does Present Mean To You

I would like to you to take a few minutes and really think about the word present and what it means to you.  Present.

Fall leaves

 

Are you being present to everything in your life? I want you to just stop for a moment and watch your thoughts go by as you focus on the word present and how it occurs for you in your life.

 

Watch the feelings that the word present conjurers up or even if you get no feeling at all.   Be present to it.  There is no right or wrong way in your feelings – they are yours and yours alone.
Now I want to do a little experiment, this experiment is a contrast.  I would like you to think of the word past and what it means to you.  Past.  I want you to look at not everything but some thing in your past.   Then take a moment and watch your thoughts about your past.  I want you to watch them go by and look at how it occurs in your life.

 

See where in your past are you stuck and what are the feelings that come up or even if there aren’t any feelings at all. Focus on your past.  Look at what you feel, smell or taste.  Just be with it.

 

Now I would like you to do the same with your future.  I would like you to focus on the future.  Look at it for a moment – how does it make you feel or not feel.  Does it look bright or does it seem scary? Do you have control in your future?  Focus on it.  Watch it go by and how it occurs to you.
What are the images that you create about yourself when you speak to other people? Are their people that you can share yourself with completely ?  Are there things about yourself that you can candidly share that lift you up or pull you down?

 

How do certain images about yourself get played out in your life?  Are they healthy?  What do you do to keep them at bay? Do you have external ways of keeping them at bay?

 

I would like you to create a high image of yourself, seeing the things that you really would like to accomplish.

Exercises

1 – I would like you to create an image of yourself and then ask your friends to hold that specific image for you.  Ask them to picture you succeeding at something that you really want to accomplish.  It does not matter what it is, what matters is that it is important to you.  This is a very confronting exercise.  You have to be willing to hold yourself accountable.

 

2 – What is something that you would like to give up in this present moment? How has that thing impacted your life?  Is it something that belongs to you that have created.  Why did you create it?  What was the purpose – Happiness, Protection, or a Value?  What did you use this for? What would your life look like if you gave it up?

Haters

You know you’re a Hater, just admit you hate on everything about yourself. You hate on others who reflect the things you hate about yourself, whether they are successful or not.  You haters are everywhere.  You hate on yourself and you destroy your dreams, by saying things like: ‘Its too hard.’  ‘I don’t have enough time.’  ‘I don’t have the money.’  You’re a hater and some of you are lazy haters.  You use your hate to sabotage yourself and make yourself wrong.  Get real, you know you do.  As a personal life coach working in Brooklyn, I work with people all over the nation.  I also have clients in France and England.  Hating is not a national practice, it is a universal practice.  As a hater, you are always looking for things to hate on yourself about.  You’ve worked really hard to build your confidence and self-esteem only to smash it across the rocks.  How long you’ll sit on the rocks is entirely up to you.

 

Being a hater impacts your world from the inside out, eroding your confidence and self-esteem.  This has you point the perpetual finger at another person or thing, instead of being responsible for your actions.  Haters, hate themselves, that is what they do.
In order to avoid haters, it is important for you to look inside yourself and realize that you are the one true hater.  You are the saboteur; you are the killer of your dreams and ideas.  You’re the one that does not keep your word to yourself or others.  You are the one that is constantly in fear, hiding your greatness.  Many of you believe that the hater is external, when in fact the hater is with you 100% of the time. The big truth is it’s internal.

 

Start a revolution, stop hating your body

 

Babe, you’re the one that hurts you, fills you up with feelings of rejection, no one can reject you ever.  Rejection is rejection when you see it as so.  Someone says something and you get mentally interrupted, pull yourself off course and hurt yourself.  Rejection is not what you think it is.  A person that is committed to their dream goes out looking for the ‘no’s because they know it brings them closer to their dream.  Some see it as failure.  There is no such thing as failure. Thomas J. Watson is attributed with saying “If you want to succeed, double your failure rate”.  There is no such thing as rejection, and no one ever fails.  No man, woman or child on this planet can reject you.  You reject you and you deem yourself as failure.  People can say what they say, but you are the only person that can take that feeling in and hurt your own feelings.  You have the power and the strength to recognize your own pain or the pain that you inflict on yourself.

 

If there is an image or idea that you are not happy with in yourself recreate it.  Stop deceiving yourself.  Create another truth or reality, then make your own truth of who you are by not seeing yourself as the victim.  You are an incredible human being.  Every time you refuse to accept and acknowledge your power, beauty, truth or wisdom, you’re making yourself a victim.  When you are riding the waves of your own self-pity or are feeling depressed; start by working on recognizing that you’re lying to yourself and not coming from your personal truth.  When you lie to yourself, you carry that feeling around with you and it is replayed back to you in the world by the energy that you are transmitting. Know that energy begets energy.  Believe this, your world begins with your thoughts and words.  You are not a target of some universal lotto that selected your name to be a victim in some universal drama.  It your own personal drama that you created.

Stop Hating Sign

An example is when you traverse, (I like the word traverse) the world thinking you are ‘ugly’, ‘fat’, ‘stupid’, ‘not enough’, then you will begin to set up the resonance in your energy field that you are all those things, the result of this is you will now attract people and events that mirror your thoughts.  You will begin to hear, see and experience those thoughts all around you.  Wah!  As you begin to clean up that energy and shift it to being ‘attractive’, ‘smart’ (you can learn) and ‘enough’, the universe will begin to reflect back at you.  You have recreated and now this becomes your truth.  Whatever you believe be it negative or positive, that is your word and that is what you have now created in your world.

 

Practice holding in your mind and heart a higher vision of yourself, releasing all those things that are negative and shut you down.  Replace them with positive thoughts that open up your heart.  The experience might be scary at first and feel uncomfortable, but the more you practice, like any skill, the better you will become.  Your world will become light, bright and you will be happier.  When you begin to generate higher thoughts about yourself that you are beautiful, powerful and you have enough of what you need, you will see those thoughts reflected back at you. You will see and experience abundance in your world.

 

Consequently, there is no such thing as a hater.  Remember the hater is really you turned in on yourself.

Write a description of your life as you see it and as it is today.

Find two or more qualities that you do not like about yourself and recreate them into something that you do like.

Then create an action that you would like to take to and generate a positive experience.

Finally, dissolve by sharing it with people you love.

Stop Reliving Your Past, Live In The NOW

How Do You Feel


When you think of a bad experience that happened in your past, do you notice how you feel it in the present moment? It feels like it is happening right now.  You feel right now the way you felt when the situation happened, you feel the same sadness and upset.  We rarely focus on the good things that happen, but we can always in a pinch, think of the sad and soul robbing situations.  Do you think that sad or upsetting situation is of any benefit to you?  All this past experience does is make you remember and feel pain.  Does dredging up the past stop you from experiencing it again? Well it can, if you use it as a learning experience.  But it you don’t, it will be an experience that remains painful.  It will be like an instant replay, going around and around in your head, making you into a victim that still feels powerless.

Picture of worried woman

Stop Being A Victim


So if you want to continue to feel sorry for yourself and behave as though you are a victim, by all means go ahead.  But, as a Personal Life Coach in the area of Confidence and Self Esteem, I can tell you that you will continue the vicious cycle of pain with no real personal growth, but the choice is up to you.
If you are willing to stop and see what you have learned from this experience you will never have to bring that experience back into your life.  You will learn where you did not take responsibility for yourself, and where you did not truly value your self-worth.  Once you see the lesson, you can give yourself the pleasure of developing character traits that will have you end the replay, enabling you to go forward in your life.

Stop Living As Other People See You

Many people were raised by parents and experienced family members that have a tremendous amount of warranted, and unwarranted complaints, or just plain disdain for them.  But stop for one second and have a look at your life.  Look at the obstacles that you have overcome.  Look at the strengths that you have developed.  We use resistance training to develop our bodies.  Maybe your parents and family members were your resistance, enabling you to develop something within you.  If only you could reflect a minute longer in the positive and look at your life in the now instead of the past, you can see the greatness that resides within you.  If you could step out of the pain and own into your power, you would no longer need to introduce yourself as your past.

Picture of Worried Woman
Case study:

A female professional who worked hard, is extremely smart, and a risk taker despite her external conversations about fear.
Past:  She did not have this or that. She was not loved and lost family members.  She had only her basic needs met as child.
Present day:  On meeting this woman, I had to hear what she went through as a child; what she experienced with the tears and the upset, how she suffered, etc.  She was a victim and decades later she is still a victim.
Actuality:  She is successful in her current career, has impeccable taste in clothes and all things beautiful, and very well put together. She is very loving, but also very defensive, and has difficulty receiving.
Being so entrenched in her past she cannot see her present situation, neither can she see her future.  The thing about the past is that when you are unhealthy regarding your past, you will fight tooth and nail to keep yourself stuck in it.

What You Can Do

If you are experiencing issues from your past, commit to working on being devoted to giving it up and changing direction in your life by being present and thinking differently.  You have a habit.  You are familiar, secure and comfortable with the tears from being upset and angry.   Try on a new coat by giving it up NOW! Keep in mind that if you want it back, it is only a thought away.

 

The moment you realize that you are not your past, you begin to have a past, and learn that life exists in the present moment.  Life gets created in the present and we are always living in the now.  Two minutes from now is the now.  Two days from now will be the now, two years from now will be the now.  We are always in the now, going to into the future and looking at the past from the now.  So place yourself firmly in the now and create NOW!

 
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Be About Expansion

In times when the market is down, all we hear about is how to cut back.  My neighbor, an attorney, says that his job is slow, while another friend says “thank God I have other things to do.”  All around me I hear that times are tough and we all need to cut back. But my friend, a market researcher, is expanding and creating other opportunities.  Instead of cutting back and holding on to every cent like it is the last she will make, she is taking her time and energy and putting it into a new enterprise.

I know that many people can relate to cutting back.  However, how do you cut back on the things that are important to you?  There’s a misconception that cutting your expenses equals saving money. While cutting expenses provides you with a great opportunity to save money, you need to take an additional step to actually make the savings work.

I have recently had a lot of conversations with people who are stressing out about the economical situation.  However, when asked how the stock market has affected them, they actually do not know.  Yes, the stock market has affected us all.  My portfolio has decreased significantly.  However, there are opportunities available.

Now that you have cut back on your expenses and you have that extra money, what steps are you going to take now?  What happens is that many people cut their expenses, then take the money and place it somewhere else other then paying off debt or in putting it in savings.  Most people make a savings in one area, and spend extra in another area, so the saving never materializes.

How can you know if you are saving or losing if you have no idea what your expenses actually are?  As a coach, I have clients who are always looking for opportunities to save money.  However, they have no idea how much money they spend.  They do not have a budget; they do not know what their expenses are. They are afraid to look at their credit report so they assume the worse.

Be Expansion- look for other opportunities, look at your skills, look at things that you are good at: Can you sell them? What do you enjoy doing, can it become a service?  Do not fall into parroting, e.g. people are not hiring, people are not buying, assuming that people do not want and have stopped spending money.  There are people who are not as affected by this economical situation.  People’s houses still have to be cleaned, people still have to eat, children and the elderly still have to be watched, people still want to look good.  Find out what your thing is and create opportunities to get it done.  In NYC, people have created clothes swaps to remain in fashion, offer your services to coordinate clothes swapping parties.    There are a lot of creative opportunities out there, change you conversation about cutting back and create a conversation about expansion.
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Be Yourself Already

Many women are stuck in their old ways of being.  They have limiting beliefs that are so far out of alignment with who they are today, that their concepts of themselves are out of balance.   They know that something in their lives is missing.  It is not a tangible thing.  It is a way of being, doing and having.  They know that their head and heart are out of sync.  They continue to harp on, talk about and create the same things all of the time.  They date the same men, or none at all.  They attract the same things or none at all.  They know intuitively that there is something that they desire but they cannot find the right magnetic energy.  They do not understand that their words have power and through their words they are recreating the same situations.   In response to this, I created a salon – Be Yourself Already.
Are you being yourself or are you stuck?

The questions I ask you are:
Who are you being?  Are you being yourself or are you being something that is completely out of alignment with your true God and Universal spirit?  Do you know that the more you become aware of who you are, you will become aware of your inner guidance and personal power?
Are you using material things to insulate you from really being yourself? Have you insulated yourself so much with things that the even the sheer thought of losing these things hurt so much that it shuts you down?
Do you really know yourself?  Have you ever taken time to be with you in silence?  Without the hum of the television, without drugs and alcohol, comfort food, you’re shopping jones, the constant chatter on the phone and having multiple mindless relationships or booty calls?  Do you know yourself without whatever vice you are using to cover up whatever it is you’re avoiding?
My big request is:
Be Yourself Already!  If you were to strip yourself naked, down to the core of who you are, would you know yourself, would you like yourself?  Furthermore, would you be comfortable?  Let’s go a little further- you lost your job, your house, your car, everything, all you had was just you.  Would you be comfortable with yourself, would you be yourself already?  Close your eyes for one minute and imagine if all you had was yourself and your imagination, how would you begin the process of recreation?  Do you think it is important to be yourself openly and honestly? Being who you are and not who you think you should be?
Are you speaking from a place of lacking or a place of abundance:
When you speak with your friends and people you know, do you continually speak about your problems and pain or do you speak about your abundant life and how happy you are?  Well when you speak of your pain and problems, people begin to form images as you speak and you transmit radio waves of emotions to them.  So if you’re a person that is continually sharing from the place of pain, then pain and problems will be how you show up in the world.  If you are a person that says they don’t trust or like people, or believes that continual happiness isn’t possible, then the life you have is the life you’ve created with the words that you’ve uttered.

Woman Without

My story of lacking vs. abundance
A few years ago after I finished my coaching certification at NYU I created a seminar with two women who were in my class.  I was very excited about the seminar and was sort of at a cross roads in my life.  I was giving up real estate which had been a large source of my income and identity for a number of years.  As a Realtor, I was used making great money.  The following nibble will clarify my lack.   My career as a real estate broker had a profound impact on me.  I was well known in the community, I was good at what I did, and I made money.  Real Estate had become my identity.
Becoming a Personal Life Coach and stepping out into an unknown field to do something that I was emotionally and spiritually drawn to was daunting.   I became  anxious as I did not know my capabilities yet in my new field. I was unsure if i could make a difference, attract clients, find my niche and lastly make an income.  So my conversations became one of lack.
At that time, all I could see was my bank account being sapped and me becoming poor which was one of my fears. (No longer)  This was not my truth.  I had been expressing myself to the two ladies who I was to partnered with to produce the seminar.  I had been expressing myself from a place of lack yet I did not know it.
Then, an issue arose that gave me clarity and transformed my life, we had to pay for the rental space.  One of the ladies, Jane, paid my share and I had to pay her back.  Paying her back was no problem at all.  However, my continuous conversation about lack had created a world for them where I would be unable to pay them back.  The night of the seminar, I had the money for Jane in my pocket.  But, we were so busy with everything that I got distracted and neglected to give her the money.  The money stayed in my pocket until I got home.
In the morning I was speaking with the other woman, Geraldine. I told Geraldine that I had Jane’s money.  Geraldine proceeded to tell me that both she and Jane were concerned that Jane would not get her money back.   My a heart sunk.  I have a commitment to always pay back my debts. Furthermore, the money I owed wasn’t even a large sum.  It was barely enough for me to have a great lunch and definitely was not enough to feed me for a week.  Regardless of the fact, in that moment Jane and Geraldine taught me a valuable lesson.  I learned that I had created a world for my partners, Jane and Geraldine, out of my conversation about lack.  Before that experience, I had no idea that I was speaking of lack and that I was creating a world for them where they saw me as poor.  In the moment from that conversation, I became extremely responsible for my speaking and learned to speak responsibly from a place of power.
With Jane and Geraldine, what I had been doing was planting and replanting seeds of lack.   I experience the power of my words.   I have a commitment to using my words and creating myself from a place of my own personal power.  I might at times slip up, like a child who sometimes does not have the skill to handle everything in my life perfectly or even beautifully.  But, what I do know is that I am being myself already! I have the power to know that I am growing every moment and that I do not have to go back to creating images that speak of or create images of disempowerment to others.
I accept myself already.

The woman I am is power, success, creativity and abundance.  That is who I am.  This is why I have created a special salon. I want others to be themselves already.  I hope you will join me.



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