In the end, what do you want from your life?

In the end, what do you really want for yourself and your life?  What are the results and benefits that you want to accomplish and why?

Consider what you will do in your life to have you walk away a winner, having what you want and designing your life the way you would like.

Below is a list of the tangible examples, measurable benefits and results that you may want:

  1. Accomplishment of your personal goals
  2. A strong self-esteem that rockets
  3. Trust in yourself and trust in others
  4. An experience of happiness with yourself
  5. Creating your own truth and thus making it your reality
  6. Freedom
  7. Strong, generative, passionate relationships
  8. Feeling grounded, connected, and at ease with life
  9. The past is in its place
  10. Abundance of health, wealth, love, power, success and creativity
  11. Creating your passion or passions and sharing them unabashedly  

There are some very simple answers and actions to take.  Is there anywhere in your life where you are not recognizing your power, your strength?  Would you be willing to think about it?

Do you know who you are?  

Do people really know you?  

What do you like about yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

What don’t you like about yourself?

What are you willing to do about it?

Who do you have disagreements with and are you willing to clean them up?

What are you tolerating, putting up with, or suffering through?

Are you willing to create a new image of yourself that reflects your true being?

What would it take for you to express your courage, compassion, love, trust, etc?

How will you develop those qualities and what is in the way?

What would you look like with your new quality? What would it provide for your life?

Make your life a priority.

Disempowered thoughts keep you trapped and rob you of your life.

Ordinary People are Just as Fascinating and Interesting as Extraordinary People

Ordinary people. I love people and find them to be incredibly exciting and complex beings. It is essential to take time to be interested in others.

Everyone possesses something interesting about themselves no matter how different and weird it might be. It is essential to take time to listen as I always think there is something to learn. I hear people complaining about the dates they go on, about the person they went out with being boring or complaining about how the person was this or that. I have also had my share of disappointments and failures in the dating arena, but I still find people interesting. The person might not be for me, yet I find the interest.

As a coach, I know that we can always find something good in other people. If you want people to like you, or if you want to develop relationships, it’s important that you have an interest and care about people by accepting people as they are. You can always find something good about the people you date and meet in your life. I often ask my clients who have weaknesses in this area to challenge themselves to find something interesting in the people they meet and know.

Bring an end to the thought that people are boring. People are not boring. If you find people to be boring, look inside and try to discover why you think they are boring. Could it be that you are boring and can find nothing interesting in another person because maybe there’s nothing interesting about you? Could it be that you are looking for someone to entertain you and people are not entertaining enough for you? Like I said, everyone is interesting.

I read about a reformed gang member who did 13 years in prison and left the notorious Mara Salvatrucha aka MS-13. The Mara Salvatrucha gangs have cliques, or factions, located throughout the United States and Latin America and are composed mostly of Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Hondurans and other Central Americans. You know, you see these things on the telly and then it’s like all of a sudden you bump into someone who in a hundred years you never think that your paths would cross. I meet people everywhere and when I say everywhere, I really mean that. And one day, at my usual brunch place, I met a former MS-13 gang member.

Armed with my Discovery Channel documentary information, I found this man very interesting. As I looked into his face and asked him about his teardrop tattoos on the corners of his eyes, which I recognized as symbols of the notorious gang MS-13 by way of watching the Discovery Channel reports on gangs in America. Based on the commentary on the documentary, I smiled and asked him jokingly, “How many people have you killed?” Not expecting to get a real response, he replied by saying, “I spent the last 13 years in prison. I must have done one or two.”

I was in a state of disbelief and shock at his honesty. I was not expecting a response of that magnitude. He, in turn, asked me where I was from based on my accent.

He continued to share with me his gang affiliations (MS-13). As he continued to order his pancakes, he shared about jumping in and the rules for leaving the gang which the documentary described as getting beat up by your friends. He told me that there is a structure for leaving the gang if one goes to prison. He chose to leave the gangs of his youth behind. He was extremely pleasant, not at all as menacing as I would have been led to believe. His life was different from mine, and the link that brought us together was pancakes and the generosity of sharing our stories in an instant. We giggled and parted energy.

Again I say, have an interest in the people you share the planet with. People are extremely fascinating and have amazing stories full of passion and adventure. Rise up, people! Practice spending time and become interested in other people you share the planet with as you will become more interesting as a result of being interested.

13 Ways to Live Life by Your Own Design

The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life.  There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out.  I can guarantee that!  There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week, and last year.  The world, hell, the Universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way™  and live by your own design.

  1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you

Laundry isn’t important to me.  Having clean clothes is what’s important, and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simple by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

  1. Ask for Help

Asking for help is really important.  A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help.  Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it.  Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it.  Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them.  Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

  1. Stay in contact

It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important.  There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend.  You need to express love and share love.  Love is addictive.  Giving love and expressing love feels good.  Try it.  Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend. Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now.  Stop what you’re doing and just do it.  The first five people in your phone to start.  I just sent out eight instead of five and got three responses already in eight minutes! Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it.  However, keep in touch with people as best as you can –  it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

  1. Surround yourself with things you like

Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like.  Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you.  When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels. For example, the social media platform, Pinterest, is an awesome mood booster, and you can view it on your computer or phone when you need a pick-me-up or a little inspiration.

  1. Create a Gratitude List

I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.  

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind.  Gratitude has the power to move you forward.  

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life and see their goals develop faster.

  1. Keep a planner to stay organized

Keeping a planner makes life less crazy.  It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun.  Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. Balance your time and give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to an appointment you don’t have time for or don’t want to have.

  1. Keep track of your wins

Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements.  Writing down your wins, achievements, and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

  1. Make your appearance your own

Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style, and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.  

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. If you don’t feel great in your body, exercise and eat healthier to keep yourself in shape.

Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.  

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look.  The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

  1. Create a go-to Group

Create a go-to group. A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake up.  

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect.  Your group must not coach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life.  They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks.

Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

  1. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts

Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy.  We went to see Fat Albert.  The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.  

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud –  it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps, and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

  1. Be emotionally okay

Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry, or for your crying.  

If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it.  Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness.  Don’t cover your emotions, express them. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way.  You’ll feel so much better after the release.

  1. Write things down

Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having, or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain, and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

  1. Accept yourself as you are

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and love yourself every moment.  Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.  

Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

 

We Get the Lessons Before the Test

Life Lessons from C-Suite hosted by Paypal and produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, with featured speaker Jennifer Risi, Worldwide Chief Communications Officer at Ogilvy. The Paypal offices were the perfect location for this event. The attendees were an attractive crop of people. Everything lined up just perfectly – the anchor and moderator was Hope King, Cheddar.

What is C-Suite? It’s the high-level executives who are in senior positions of management at major worldwide companies. For instance, it’s the 3 positions that start with C in large corporations. Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Chief Financial Officer (CFO), Chief Operating Officer (COO), and Chief Communications Officer (CCO). Chief is the operative word it seems. Henceforth, we have the term C-Suite.

Jennifer Risi is not your typical C-Suiter. She’s cool as a cucumber and great to listen to, unlike many C-suiters I’ve heard speak in the past. Jennifer told us upfront that she didn’t have a plan for her career. She got a job in PR, and it seems she ran with it and it worked out swimmingly. All the other C-Suiters I had the pleasure of reading about had a plan or strategy.

Jennifer is confident and authentic; I would go as far as to say, “She’s dope,” as my friend Chad says. My guess is that she‘s probably the first in her family/first generation to have a corporate success story. She’s straightforward and as I listened, I could see that her team, who sat beaming with pride and ready to jump in to support, were really proud of her.

I enjoy attending events produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce. I always learn a lot. It’s like being a voyeur outside the speaker’s office. Not only do I learn about their ascent and how they got to be successful in their current positions, but I also get to learn about the books they’re reading. Not Jennifer, she gets her reading through her work very straight, not trying to look good at all. I discover if they have a sense of humor and see how they handle stress and deal with failures. Most importantly for me, I get to see how they deal with people and handle challenges.

I learn how C-Suiters crafted their careers, or in Jennifer’s case, how she fell into hers. C-suiters, for me, seem self-aware, honor their word, and are likeable people. They seem like people I would enjoy hanging out with and listening to their stories.

I’m borderline obsessed with the way Jennifer’s staff appeared. I was so intrigued. I asked them a few questions after Jennifer’s talk. It was just what I expected – they love her! The questions I asked were simple, but everything about their answers worked:

Does Jennifer micromanage?

Answer: No

Does she give you space?

Answer: Yes

Does she allow you to fail, learn, and grow?

Answer: Yes.

From Jennifer’s talk and from these one word answers, I learned a lot of information about her management style. Jennifer is who she says she is – an open door. For me, it was a breath of fresh air. She provides her people the work and gives them free range to do it their way. She allows for mistakes because she knows her team and knows that people learn from mistakes. Jennifer, it seems, doesn’t have a typical management style; she does not manage people. She manages agreements which allows them space to learn and grow and fess up when mistakes happen.

In her early career, Jennifer shared that she was described as and told she had hard edges. I thought about this statement for myself and my life. I’ve been told that I can be pushy. I came to the conclusion that if you’re a forward-thinking chick who has the potential for success or to make a difference, you’re a strong woman. You’ve probably heard that statement or experienced a similar description of yourself. And, if you’re a man reading this, you might’ve referred to a woman or two with some negative connotation (not all men, but some); you know who you are. Furthermore, if you’re a woman who does her job and has at least one ounce of passion, I’m sure you’ve heard something distasteful said about you. Maybe you’ve even been called a bitch, if not to your face, definitely behind your back.

Jennifer is hardworking, wise, and knows how to play the game of corporate life. She takes criticism and feedback constructively and uses it as food for her soul and as an opportunity to grow, no matter how challenging or difficult it may seem. She addresses criticism in a way where she finds value in it and allows it to move her forward and not take her out of her game.

My takeaway from Jennifer’s talk was: surround yourself with trusted colleagues and create a strong network of people you trust. Create relationships with human resources; make them your partners.

Jennifer Risi, to me, is passion, creativity, and integrity. She owns her voice, creates her value, speaks her truth and lives life her way.

Love yourself! Until next time!

2018 Made Me Polar Bear Dive!

On January 1, 2018, I became an honorary Polar Bear. I took the plunge at Coney Island Beach and the temperature that day was 8˚ F when I woke up and 17˚ F when I jumped in! It was something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time and this year I was READY!

Every year, for about 20 years, I’d thought about it and saw myself doing it and, finally, on January 1st, 2018, I made it official! The coldest part of my body were my toes.  However, I lucked out with the strangers I choose to jump in the water with.  One of my fellow plungers owns or works at a bar called Rudy’s on the boardwalk near where we plunged. Shout out to them!  After the plunge, they provided nice warm water for my toes to defrost in.  Now I know why people lose their toes when exposed to cold weather for an extended period of time!

Like certain things in life, we can make up stories about how it’s going to be, however, once we make the decision to do it, we might as well give up thinking about how it’s gonna go.  We won’t know until we do it.  That’s what it was like with the Polar Bear Plunge.  I made up all these stories about me freezing to death. While signing the disclosure form, I had thoughts of me having all the reactions on the list – dizziness, heart attack, seizures, the works. I totally thought I would be done for.  

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions; the problem with New Year’s resolutions is that a goal for the end of the year can be so far away that days, weeks, and months pass by because there’s always the feeling “I can always start tomorrow…” and you do nothing to further along your goal(s)!

On top of that, if you’re working on the same goal every single day for a year, that’s a whole lotta willpower you’ve got to call on! Willpower doesn’t work.  That’s why I said that I would do the Polar Bear Plunge, put it in my calendar, told my fellow community members so they would hold me accountable for it, and did it. Period.

I’m not going to lie, I was afraid.  Being honest about my feelings gave me the ease I needed to do it and I’m thrilled I did! It showed me another side of myself and how truly courageous I am. I look forward to a FANTASTIC 2018.  

What are you creating for yourself this year?  Who will you be, what will you do and what will December 31, 2018 have in store for you? Thank you for your support in 2017 and I look forward to a powerful 2018.  If you require support in 2018 to reach your goals, hit me up – let’s make your dreams happen.  

www.noreensumptercoach.com

Love yourself! Until next time!

 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…for me!

It’s really the most wonderful time of the year – for me! The holidays are here! Grammarly says that “wonderful” is an overused word, but, who cares – it just shows people are overwhelmingly happy! It’s also the most beautiful time of the year. I’m sitting here thinking about what to share regarding Christmas (the holiday I celebrate) and what to say in my blog, and I’m having a difficult time putting my happy feelings into words. I have a warm, fuzzy feeling in my solar plexus area, and I’m having trouble expressing it. It’s a squeal. It’s a feeling of having your arms wide open. It sounds like children giggling and wrinkling their faces. I can’t wrinkle my face because I’ll get wrinkles. Lol just kidding.

My year has been great; I grew tremendously. It’s strange that I didn’t notice my growth. I was feeling it, but I couldn’t see it, and then, all of a sudden, it was clear, not just in the realm of money but in the quality of my life and the relationships I have with people. The people I know are also the quietness of my soul. I’ve met some wonderful, amazing people this year and, as a result, my coaching skills have grown exponentially. I have fantastic clients who are achieving their goals and winning at their life games. I’m so happy with my purpose, my career choice. I’m not just The Potentiator and a Personal Life Coach. I help people go beyond their potential, and I love my job more and more every moment of every day because of what I do. I could flip right now!

I am “Live Life Your Way” because it’s my truth. I’m living my life and having a great time.

In the middle of this year, I started my own Radio Show, Beyond Potential, Live Life Your Way, featured on www.talkradio.nyc (check it out!). I’m so happy about it, and it’s going well. And, last month I was offered my own local access cable show in Manhattan, NY, for which I just filmed three episodes. Wow wee – I’m on a roll!

I saw my generosity and the generosity of others expand and show up in ways that I’ve never received before. I shared 10s of 1000s of dollars in referrals in my various networking groups. I was voted President of Business Referral Group No. 3 (BRG3) of the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce where I’m an Ambassador. I was invited by people whom I respect, and that respect me, to share my advice and opinions. I’ve hobnobbed with all kinds of people, and I’ve had tremendous fun. I love hobnobbing. I’ve had volunteers share their time and talents with me to further my success and their own.

In 2017, I made my #1 goal in life to be happy, no matter what. I choose to be happy and satisfied in my life, and it’s showed up in ways beyond my imagination. No matter how much or how little I have, no matter who loves me or doesn’t, this goal has kept me grounded and continues to keep me grounded everyday.

Looking forward to 2018, I request trying on for size the following things. (If they do not fit. toss them out.)

  • You are the most important person in your life.
  • Always be yourself.
  • Find and stay in touch with your personal definition of happy.
  • Believe in yourself and your dreams.
  • Change is constant; be the change you want to see in your life.
  • Make love an ingredient in everything you do.
  • Be the author of your life.

I wish you the happiest of holidays!

Are you ready to let 2017 go and ring in a brighter, happier, and healthier 2018? If so, look no further than joining me for my event, The Big Release, at Pearl Studios in New York, NY, on December 30 from 3:00 – 6:30 PM. For more information and to sign up, visit www.noreensumpercoach.com/thebigrelease2018 and don’t miss out on early bird pricing until December 23! Looking forward to meeting you!

Love yourself! Until next time!

Transformation equals change and it’s happening now

It’s almost the end of the year. What side of the stick do you want to hold on to- the “2017 – wow, what a ride – I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for me!” stick or the “oh my God, I did nothing, changed nothing, and I’m in the same boat as I was in 2016” stick? This time of year for some people is the most loving, and, for some, it’s the most crippling and is when their world seem to fall apart.

This is the time of year when most people spend their time celebrating with family and friends in a festive spirit. However, for some this is when they go into hiding mentally and physically. I’m not sure if it’s true or false, but some say suicide increases during the holiday season. What I ask is that we look out for each other.

Also, most will say that 2017, like most other years, has gone by very fast. I don’t believe this for myself. I think it’s gone at an even pace. I’ve had a great year and worked smart, met some great people, and had a tremendous amount of fun and success. People, 2018 is a jaunt around the corner. It’s time for a transformation which simply means change. My life’s going to change because I’m going to apply everything I learned in 2017 to get a fierce head start on 2018.

What are you going to do? Are you going to apply what you learned in 2017 to 2018, or are you going to be one of those people who did all kinds of classes, seminars, training and still nothing changes in your life? What I’ve found is that we yearn for new and different and yet remain in the same old patterns.

Listen up! The new year is coming. Be bold and take a step in a new direction – take a course or read a new book to transform your life in 2018. Transformation calls for a commitment to something that is uniquely different in your life.

Need a bit of help letting go of 2017 and starting fresh in 2018? Don’t fret! I’ve got just the thing! Join me for The Big Release – an event I’m hosting on December 30th to help you let go of things and situations that didn’t serve you in 2017 and begin your journey into 2018 with a new perspective! Visit www.noreensumptercoach.com/thebigrelease2018 and sign up before December 23 for early bird pricing!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Live Life by Your Own Design, Pt. 2

Hello Friends! Welcome to Part 2 of the list of 13 ways to Life Life Your Way™. This will continue to put things into perspective and help you live the large life you desire.

  1. Make your appearance your own

Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style, and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.  

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. If you don’t feel great in your body, exercise and eat healthier to keep yourself in shape.

Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.  

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look.  The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

 

  1. Create a go-to Group

Create a go-to group. A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake up.  

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect.  Your group must not oach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life.  They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks.

Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

 

  1. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts

Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy.  We went to see Fat Albert http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fat+albert+movie&view=detail&mid=B326DD89B259A34501CFB326DD89B259A34501CF&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR&qpvt=fat+albert+movie  The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.  

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud –  it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps, and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

 

  1. Be emotionally okay

Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry, or for your crying.  

If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it.  Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness.  Don’t cover your emotions, express them. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way.  You’ll feel so much better after the release.

 

  1. Write things down

Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having, or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain, and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

 

  1. Accept yourself as you are

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and love yourself every moment.  Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.  

Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

Live Life by Your Own Design, Pt 1

The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life. There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out. I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week, and last year. The world, hell, the Universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog is a two-part series that includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way™ and live by your own design. In the first part, we will break down the first 7:

1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you
Laundry isn’t important to me. Having clean clothes is what’s important, and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simple by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

2. Ask for Help
Asking for help is really important. A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help. Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it. Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it. Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them. Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

3. Stay in contact
It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important. There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend. You need to express love and share love. Love is addictive. Giving love and expressing love feels good. Try it. Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend. Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now. Stop what you’re doing and just do it. The first five people in your phone to start. I just sent out eight instead of five and got three responses already in eight minutes! Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it. However, keep in touch with people as best as you can – it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

4. Surround yourself with things you like
Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like. Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you. When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels. For example, the social media platform, Pinterest, is an awesome mood booster, and you can view it on your computer or phone when you need a pick-me-up or a little inspiration.

5. Create a Gratitude List
I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind. Gratitude has the power to move you forward.

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life and see their goals develop faster.

6. Keep a planner to stay organized
Keeping a planner makes life less crazy. It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun. Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. Balance your time and give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to an appointment you don’t have time for or don’t want to have.

7. Keep track of your wins
Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements. For example, I got a write up in an online magazine http://www.t2conline.com/a-call-for-coaching – that’s a big win for me so I wrote it down. If I hadn’t written it down, I wouldn’t have remembered it. Writing down your wins, achievements, and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with you and helping you start your journey towards your best self! Don’t forget to check back next week for Part 2 where we will cover points 8-13! Love yourself! Until next time!

Ready, Set, Audition! The Actor’s Workshop for Confidence and Success

Identify and shift negative thought patterns that are holding you back in life.

Live Fully Self Expressed.

Overcome Your Fear & Insecurities As An Actor

Live a Life of Freedom and True Power and
Get the Job of Your Dreams!

An audition “is a trial; a hearing given to a singer, actor or other perforer to test suitability for employment, professional training or competition” as per Dictionary.com.

Congrats! You’ve landed the audition that you’ve been dreaming about! You are about to be put to the “test,” you are about to show ‘em what you got. Now what?  How do you handle the pressure? Where do your thoughts go?  Do you immediately jump into fear, judgement, worry and anxiety? Or do you keep your cool?

What thoughts do you have about yourself before, during and after the audition or interview? How do you relate to yourself? Is your head filled with self-deprecating or negative whispers? Do you find these whispers get in the way of stepping into your full potential during the audition?

In this workshop you will find out what is holding you back from landing the job of your dreams. You will identify your negative thought patterns and learn to re-create your role in life, specifically your role as the “auditioning performer.”

Believe it or not, your thoughts and understanding of your experiences (past, present & future) fully determine the path you will take in life. Oftentimes we aren’t able to see how our thoughts and judgments are holding us back. This Workshop will help you uncover just that.

Together, we will go beyond what you can figure out on your own. You will discover ‘who you are being’ during an audition and who you want to be. You will reinvent and re-create your role as “auditioning performer”. You will redefine your concept of self and shift your thoughts and actions surrounding auditioning and interviewing.

Learn to audition free from fear, rejection and disappointment. Land the job of your dreams, create the career of a lifetime and learn to enjoy the journey of creation.

Saturday, July 22, 2017 from 10:30 am – 12:30 pm
At the Theatre at St. Clement’s, 423 West 46th St, NYC
Fee: $40 In Advance Online.
Day of Workshop: $47.00 Cash Only

What you don’t face will and can hurt you

face your

To face what’s not working in your life, you must take an action step to complete it. By completing I mean letting go of all the drama that you have surrounding the things you are choosing to face. Do not make it wrong or make yourself wrong about it, release it and let it be. No more complaining.

You might have to take action and even risk not being right or even not being liked.

From time to time we all experience situations that we do not like or that seem remarkable, uncomfortable, embarrassing and/or painful. These situations might often cause vulnerability. These feelings or situations can be lived with. You might not relish them, but you have survived the year experiencing them. The situation might be one area of life that is not working so that unconscious voice inside orders you indirectly to hide the experience behind clichés, myths and points of view. All the while, you are not realizing or accepting that self-denial is what is in the driving seat. Hello Baby!

Some of these clichés might live in the following statements:

It’s none of my business.

Don’t air your dirty laundry with me.

One drink before bed is fine, granny did it for years.

One more cigarette I’ll quit tomorrow, what can one do.

I hate the job but it pays the bills.

He does not mean to ___ me.

It’s just this one time what can it hurt.

I’m sure he’s going to pay me back he said he would.

Credit cards debt is normal everybody has some.

Someone else will do it. It’s not my job anyway.

People like us __________.

Those kinds of people ____________.

A good percentage of the time, it is human to make up reasons why things are the way they are. If you don’t accept the denial of making up reasons, you create more reasons on top the first set of reasons. That is what we do. One denial brings a mountain of reasons that we automatically believe to be real. By not facing why the problem turned up in the first place, we fail to acknowledge the situation quickly. When we face our problems, we experience less pain to begin with and the problem becomes easier to resolve.

Sometimes reasons why something is not working the way they ought to is a bunch of bubble wrap. The car would not have broken down on the highway if I had taken it to the shop sooner. Now there’s a tow truck and repairs to pay for. One top of that, the triple AAA membership expired just a day or so ago. This is a perfect example of what could have been avoided had the situation been taken care of when it first came up. It would have been cheaper, saved time and if some integrity had been put in the situation might never have happened.

Ask yourself: are you willing to take steps to get past your states of denial? Are you willing to face your states and situations sooner than later instead of hiding out with it in denial? Real power exists when you face life head on, even when you do not feel like it.

Jump in, get help, clear the denial so you can breathe. You know who you are.

Take responsibility for your life, for all the things that you do and do not do. No more pretending not notice that something is missing, not working or was not done.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life and helps them build up their personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping you clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, you can take deliberate steps, own your voice, speak your truth and have the freedom to Live Life Your Way.

YOU’RE INVITED. JOIN US!

Calling In The One Unapologetically – Completion Celebration
Saturday, March 19, 2016 from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Calling In The One

REGISTER HERE!

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous.

The Power of Choice

Choice is an amazingly powerful tool for creating what you desire.

However, it has to be pure choice, devoid of ambiguity.

Be Bold, Responsible and Direct.  You have to feel it deep; you have to own it with responsibility.  Responsibility is about ownership – ownership of your life.

Sometimes you may be afraid to make tough choices or to realize your dreams because you don’t want to fail and take the necessary action to fulfill and manifest them.  Fear feels so real and runs so deep for people that many don’t know that fear is running the show the suffering that comes from this.  Fear is not personal, and it affects each and every one of us.

Your beliefs and self-image are woven into the very fabric of your reality.  Your self-image lives inside your subconscious mind and is always leading the way for the life you are creating.  If you have a certain self-image of someone that is always failing or losing, you may create a similar looking universe where you are always failing or losing.

For myself, I discovered that I created a world in which I never attracted the right man.  I always got the wrong guy.  I created beautiful men who were picture perfect when I wasn’t dating them.  But the moment I start dating a man – whoever he was – he quickly became the wrong guy for me.  With this discovery, it became imperative that I raise my awareness of my self-image.  My self-image was running the show.  We looked awesome together, and then, he was wrong. I had to choose if I wanted to keep this kind of self –sabotaging of my self-this world where I always choose the wrong guy.  This self-image impacted all of my life.  Wrong guys led to wrong friends, never enough, wrong areas, wrong apartments, never enough, and not good enough. All of these were beliefs that I had to decide if I wanted to hold on to or change.

This self-image concealed the best that life has to offer, and I could no longer picture what the best looked like.  This kind of discovery of the self takes courage to put us directly on Front Street, aka exposure, transparency, truth, or whatever we wish to call it.

Personally, I do not want to put myself out there and be vulnerable and transparent.  My tiny self would rather hide out than risk exposure.  However, my big self, my powerful self-image desires amazing relationships with an abundant life, and concealing myself and not knowing what my self-image is will not afford me the life that I truly desire.

If I maintain this self-image and let it take over, I’ll never experience positive change and growth in my life or anyone else’s. I’ll have a tiny life and be a tiny, miserable, ball of yuck! That’s not a life for me. I am committed to having a powerful, loving, supportive self-image and respecting myself. That is the life that I’m observing right now.

What about you? What are you observing and creating in your life?  If it is not your best life… then quit it. 

Calling in the One Unapologetically is for women who are ready to live and recreate themselves by expanding their capacity to give and receive love in their live and live their best life.   So make sure your self-image is really yours and exactly what you want to live your best life.