Busy Can Be Beautiful When You Get Engaged: My Week of Networking

On Wednesday, I attended the Annual Open House for the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce where I am a member and an Ambassador. Microsoft hosted it on their terrace overlooking Times Square. More than 200 Chamber members and future members and friends came out to hobnob in what I think is one of the city’s best networking organizational events. I had so much fun and connected with so many people I’ve met at the Chamber throughout the year. Unfortunately, I didn’t take any photos because I was having fun. However, here are some shots of the party.











Thursday, I attended an event at the Friars Club hosted by UBS. The invitation was extended to me by my friend Ron Foster of RonLouisDesigns.com. He is a fantastic interior designer. That was a pleasant experience because we met not only some incredible people, but we also had the pleasure of bumping into the producer of the movie Ocean’s 8 with the female cast. While at the Friars Club, my mind couldn’t help but wonder despite having fun. I could not help thinking about times gone by where I might not have been permitted to enter this hallowed place of jokes and entertainment because of my race.  











Thursday was a busy, eventful, and happy day for me.  I had my NAWBO event which was hosted and curated by me. I brought together video content, fashion, and networking with Justin Swain of Open Reel and the Aysha Collection NYC. Along with NAWBO, National Association of Women Business Owners, and myself, Noreen Sumpter, personal life coach and founder of the LLYW Program.  What a wonderful week. We had an excellent amount of guests attend and ask a ton of questions about Open Reel’s presentation. One never can tell how an event will be received. You can have the best-laid plans and seriously it turns out to be a dog, not the kind of dog that people love, but a mangy event that no one wants to touch and slowly they leave out the back door.  I believe if you give a warm and mighty welcome to your speakers, they will get excited. Always build them up for why you invited them to speak. The speaker brings it and your guests get engaged. There you go. I guess that is why I am the VP of Member Engagement.









I am living life my way.  On a side note, I am happy to say that I had a beautiful, healthy week. I hugged and kissed a lot of people. Networking is an excellent opportunity to meet people and do business.

Thanks to the following people, places, and organizations:
The FlatIron Hotel, Aysha Collection, NYC.  Open Reel,
Results Resources, Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, NAWBO

Noreen Sumpter,
Radio Host The Potentiator and Personal Life Coach


Love, friends, sun, sea, and sand in Barbados

Love, friends, sun, sea, and sand in Barbados.  I am happy and so proud of my work. I love my coaching, and I am honored to say that my work works.  I have always been a proponent of life coaching. It works if the client works it. I have always said and known that my work works and that my clients get results when they take the coaching.  That is my commitment.  I am only as good as the results the clients get because they are committed to doing the work. I am committed to that.
It is an honor and privilege to be a Personal Life Coach, to have people fulfill their goals, dreams, and desires and be a contribution. 
A client of mine, after doing my workshop Calling in the One Unapologetically, she met a man and started dating him. Two years later after building a fantastic relationship,  and getting to know each other, they tied the knot and were married in Barbados. And, of course, yours truly was there to witness the happy event with my own eyes.  I love that and felt proud of my work personified! I Iove when my clients get great jobs or promotions, fulfill their dreams, purchase things they desire like cars, pay off debt, end relationships that don’t work, honor themselves, heal family wounds, or forgive themselves and others. I’m happy for them. I am so glad for the work that I do and the space that I create for clients.  Going to a wedding and witnessing a marriage that was just a dream, is the best experience ever!  Calling in the One Unapologetically will be starting again in the summer online.  Call for further information  917-945-5907
Congratulations, Dorian and Dean!  

What People Say About You is None of Your Business

Each and every one of us was put on this earth to do something. It doesn’t have to be saving the world; you don’t have to find a cure for cancer, you just have to know what it is you want for yourself and your life. So it is your birthright to get on with it.

Many people fear what they want to do; they believe that one is really happy in their life when happiness is measured by a percentage of about 75-90%. They’re afraid of what people will think of them. They have no idea what their life could look like if they had the whole 100% happiness they are seeking. So they live their lives doing what they think their friends and families want them to do. No going after what they want because they are afraid of what their parents, family, friends, and even strangers might think of them. They do things to please other people and neglect themselves. They have careers they don’t want and are miserable with the other 10%.

Do what you want to do and be truly happy. Who cares what people think of you. It’s no one’s business what you choose to do. Make sure that what you do is as great as you believe it to be; no one has to agree or disagree with it. Just be committed to providing a contribution and your happiness is already fulfilled. The truth is that people think all sorts of things and very few of those thoughts will be about you.


What I’ve discovered is that most people want to make a contribution to others. It’s always described as, “I want to help people. I want to teach people and I want to make people happy.” It’s always for other people. It’s important that we understand what we share. In order to share, we have to have. So to give happy, you must be happy so you can share happy.

Sitting & Listening

I had the pleasure of sitting for an artist who is unbelievably exciting! The artist is a woman, in her sixties, who paints men and women in the nude. Being painted in the nude is the epitome of full disclosure. When I met this extremely talented woman, she was feeling very unhappy, unproductive, and stuck. I listened to her talk about her life and her art and it all sounded very exciting to me.

She spoke of herself as a woman that had marched to the beat of her own drum; lived a life filled with passion and pleasure and has made a contribution with her art to heal people and free them from their self loathing issues, caused by various negative experiences.

As she described how she was feeling, she was able to discover that her unhappiness was caused by a belief. The belief was what a friend and colleague had once said about her who she highly respected. Basically, she didn’t allow this person to have an opinion. She realized that what her colleague had said about her work was none of his business and she, unfortunately, had believed his opinion to be her truth.

In a single moment, this woman, like many others, was killing herself off. She wasn’t being an artist; she wasn’t being successful or vibrant. She became doubtful, fearful, scared, and wasn’t minding her own business. By not minding her own business, she was minding the business of her friend that she had allowed to hex her. This hexing had ripped the passion out of her life and was robbing her of her vibrancy on a moment-to-moment basis. She felt that she couldn’t paint. That her creativity was gone. She was lost and slowly going into energy and financial bankruptcy. How can a woman that had had a vibrant life all of a sudden have a sense of loss and lose her creativity? Well, when you don’t mind your business closely, you allow other people’s thoughts and opinions rob you of your passion. If hexing someone was a crime, many people would be found guilty.

You don’t want people you love and respect to say anything to you that appears negative. However, people, just like you, have the right to say anything they want and you also have the right to listen or not. Where you get caught and hooked is when people say negative things about you. Simple example: Your friend says, “ I don’t like that painting.” You interpret it as, “I’m not a good artist,” and, “I can’t create,” and it goes on and on. So now you walk around with that belief. “I’m not a good artist,” “I can’t paint,” “I have no creativity,” and, “no one will buy my work”. The belief gets bigger and bigger and you, in turn, get smaller and smaller; you begin to feel insecure and shut down.

It’s important to learn that what people say is none of your business. Your business is your life, your own thoughts about yourself. It’s important that you develop the tools to expand your thoughts about you. It’s important that you remain positive and understand that these sorts of statements/comments are not personal to you. That is what happened with this woman. She forgot who or what she was up to in her life. She forgot that art inspired her life and the life of the people who bought her art. She forgot that she had a mission; her, in her world, and that, and only that, was her business.

When we learn that it’s none of your business what others say or think about you, you can say thank you for your opinion and mean it. Your life expands and you go back to the business of fulfilling our life mission.


If you need a little guidance when it comes to working on minding your own business, don’t forget you can sign on to my website, www.noreensumptercoach.com to schedule a FREE 15 minute Hello Call at anytime.

Love yourself. Until next time!

The Story of the Veil

“Goddess World” is an amazing world and Calling In The One Unapologetically is an amazing workshop.  Women honoring themselves provides a world of generosity that is paramount to the kind of generosity that we know, abolishing obsolete conversations about women and catfight conversations of no power. Where we have power, to work as a human collective that expands our capacity to give and receive love. CALLINGINTHEONE (2)

The story of the veil.  How did the veil come around?  I was at a party with Goddess, the pussy power was off the charts.  Goddesses were excited, happy and we were fanning a flames of desires all over the place. There were younger, older Goddesses.  There were African Goddess, Asian Goddesses and White Goddesses.  There were tall and short, petite and full bodies.  To top it off there were Goddesses of all description.  The one thing that we all had in common was that we were having fun.  We were enjoying ourselves.  Pussy had a place to be powerful that night.

Then here comes Helen, she has a veil and I ask her if she is going to get married, and she said no.  That she had just gotten married and she was happy with the man that she had chosen to marry.  She described him as a good man.  A good man.  Wow, I would love a good man.  I have had men that were good.  However, it is been a long time since I have a good man that I am happy with and would have welcomed him into my life to stay.  I said “I would love to have a good man in my life.”  She asked me if I would like her wedding veil.

Her veil was used on one of the happiest days of her life. I looked at her and immediately said no.  How could I take her veil?  I thought for a moment about her generosity, could I be that generous? I thought again and heard something specific for myself, and that was that I would love to be married to a good man.

I then said to her that I would love her veil and that she had to be sure if she wanted to give it away.  She looked at me and thought for a moment. Here we were, a black woman and a white woman sharing what was important to us in the area of love.  Love was the connection that was present for us.  She asked me again, if I really wanted to be married to which I said yes.  Yes, as my heart and my body had a reaction which I could feel the adrenaline racing through my body.  I said yes.  I would love your veil as I saw it as a beautiful amazing gift from one woman to another. She veiled me, and with that I lowered my head as she placed it on me.  It was amazing.  Love and marriage for me and all women who wanted it.  All women, no woman left behind. If it is something that we desire, it is possible. 

Marriage and a great man of my wildest dreams felt truly possible.  So the veil was integrated into Calling In The One Unapologetically.  I thank you Helen for your love, commitment and generosity and I look forward to passing it on.

And that is the story of the veil.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Saturday, March 19, 2016 from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

Calling In The One



Why Are Relationships So Difficult

Why do relationships have to be so difficult?  That is the chant of everyone going through buy cialis a breakup.  Why take your breakups so personally? When you are going through a breakup, do you dig recall conversations that you can use to sooth your pain, to use as an excuse to make the other party into a despicable person? Do you look for  anything to make yourself look good and the other person look bad?  It takes resilience and honor to remain a balanced loving individual that understands that a breakup is not personal.  If you have difficulty in any area of a breakup, you’ll dredge up past hurts, thoughts and feelings to help justify why things are not going the way you want.

Breakup and hurt feelings are really not meant to be personal; because no matter how long it takes, our feelings are a reaction to an interaction that is not working out.  Women want to know why men become silent, and cannot communicate. Men cannot deal with the constant rehashing of old conversations commonly known or referred to as nagging. There are a lot of things that you cannot seem to understand when you are experiencing breakdowns in your relationships.  In most relationships, there is a breakdown in communication long before there is a breakup.  Sometimes there is a warning sign. Sometimes there is not.  The warning signs differs with your personal perspective.

How can a breakdown be good?  A breakdown is an opportunity to really look at what is in your relationship that is not working so that you can take the necessary actions to remedy or fix the problem in a manner that works for both parties.  However, you know that a breakup is inevitable when you haven’t taken any action in the breakdown phase.  Here is a story of a friend who is going through a breakdown/breakup:

My friend is in the midst of a challenge/breakup with her boyfriend.  She started our conversation by describing that she was not having a good day.  As she said this, she put on her sunglasses apologized for her feelings and began to cry behind her glasses. ( Humans never want to look bad not matter what).  I told her to cry as I think it best to be straight with our emotions. She had just broken up with my boyfriend.  They argued and she threw him out of her apartment (they were not living together).  Living together was the reason for the argument.  She could not understand why he was not moving in with her. She was frustrated sad, and disappointed.  The haven’t spoken for 5 weeks but that morning on the phone they spoke.  “He loves me but relationships should not have to be this hard.”

“I love him, why did he not want to move in with me?” What we want in life will only happen if we take the necessary actions to have them materialize.  What actions did you take to have him move in with you?  Did you have a deadline?  No.  I was waiting on him.  He said he did not have the money to move into our space.  I said it was okay and I will pay the bulk of the rent.  “He said no way.” Some men no matter how their situations are were not built to live off a woman.  Some men just don’t care.  No matter how liberal a woman may be.  Men will still be men. They still insist on pulling their weight.  “I thought it was his machismo shit” she said.  Well, it may be but that was really what it was for him.  He did not have the money.

She would not hear it.  She confessed to hearing was what she wanted.  Sometimes you are so in love with love and what you want, that you cannot hear what your partner has to say.   By no means is there anything wrong with what you want, but you need to take action.  What steps was she taking?  Or were she just continually talking about it so that it turned into nagging.  She realized she did not take any steps or create a deadline.  She really just waited, talked/nagged, cried and said I love you, why it was not going the way I wanted it to go?

When you are ready and willing to get straightforward and honest with yourself, you can cast off all the things that numb your mind and have you mentally and physically stuck  in your life.  She immediately saw where she was not thinking and only had thoughts that were a part of the recycling of past conversations.

More on her story next week.


Why Are Relationships So Difficult Part II

Last week we were talking about why we make our relationships so difficult. I was describing the story of a friend of mine.  She wants her boy friend to move in with her, but he cannot because he is restricted by his income.  She is interpreting this as a lack of interest and has created a dramatic break-up.

During her break-up/separation, she has been talking to her friends.  You all know what talking to your friends can mean when you’re in this condition.  It builds you up for a moment. They tell you how beautiful you are, how smart you are and to dump that loser.  Most of you will agree with them for the moment and then continue to feel bad about yourself for being in love with a man that is a ‘loser’.  Then you become wrapped up in shame about your feelings.  With all of that, you begin to cry with your friends comments reverberating in your head.  “Girl, you look good.  You can find someone better”. When all along, you just want your own comfortable ‘loser’. You don’t care, you love him.   He is yours.

Well, it did not occur to me that the guy was not a loser, here was a man that had something he was having a hard time with and needed to workout.  Maybe they will go back together, maybe they won’t. But my friend seems to be handling things in a mature way.  She loves this man and it was clear because she by no means made him wrong.  She actually made herself wrong.  We looked at her actions and she got to see that she did not take any real action in preparing for or having her boyfriend move in with her. In actuality, she was crying about regrets and upsets of not knowing what to do differently.

The first things we created a promise for her to quit crying over the phone when she spoke with him.  If she did want to talk to him, then talk to him in a way that empowered her. Instead of crying, she could share what she was up to – developments with her business, her family, friends, opportunities successes, people they knew in common, etc.  Her man was clearly in her corner and wanted her to be successful when they were together, so she should continue to share her wins with him.  In return she could acknowledge how he is doing in his world with his music, congratulate him on being busy in the studio and doing his gigs.  She could continue to share love for him in a way that has her empowered, fully self-expressing herself instead of confused, upset, feeling weak and hurt all the time.

We focused on the areas of her life that were working; her business, her money/finances, her family, her friendships. She distinguished that the only things that were not working was her relationship with this man.  However, what she was doing, like many people, is that she was losing energy by focusing on the one thing that was not working.  Focusing on one problem, would inevitably collapse all that she was committed to building.   By the time we had finished talking and laughing, the color came back to her cheeks; she was sitting taller, her eyes were sparkling again.  She was expressing herself by thanking me for supporting her to think about herself and her relationship in a way that had her walk away feeling powerfully empowered and good about herself.

If my friends relationship with this man overcomes their challenge, their lives and relationship will never be the same again.  Never again will she place herself in a disempowered way. She will not live in regret, upset and confusion by living in the past and wondering what she could have done differently.  She will take risks, speak up, by taking action in her love life and life going forward.  By being a person who takes action, she will never date like that again. She will Date Like She Means It, speaking her truth, creating what is important to her in all relationships.

So, if you are reading this and or you know anyone who is just had a breakup and they are stuck in a vicious cycle of crying themselves to sleep and slowly sabotaging themselves.  Please have them read this article and if they find value send me an email or contact me at 718-834-9450.

I love having people complete old ways of being in a relationship in a way that has them feel empowered and leave the vicious cycle of heartbreak by changing their thoughts and creating a new relationship with themselves and their partners that has them love and create in an empowering way.


Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

I have been studying the works of Barbara Y. Martin, writer of the book Change Your Aura, Change Your Life for a few weeks now. Initially, I didn’t realize that I read this book and I knew her work from a while back. It was amazing to read this book again, as I am a huge proponent of Metaphysical studies.  In fact, I’ve been interested in the world of Metaphysics ever since I was 13 years old, when I did not even know what it was called at the time. It has helped me expand, live powerfully and dream big.

Of all the negative emotions, fear is one of the strongest impediments to reaching our goals and achieving success. Fear can cut to the very core of our being and paralyze us. Hate is also a powerful emotion, and has the power to inspire us to take action. Fear encourages us to take no action whatsoever. How can we go after our lives if are afraid to take action?

Fear reaches deep into our instinctual level of consciousness. Yet, our fear does not have to be a big one. We can have small fears that build up and may go unnoticed. Over time, they begin to add up. You can fear something very real or have neurotic fears wherein an innocent situation can spark terror. If it continues, fear can lead to sustained worry and depression. And most of all, fear can breed fear.

To fear something, you essentially see yourself as separate from who your true self. Fear creates separateness. Fearing something, you adhere to the belief that something or someone has power over you, and you’re powerless to do anything about it. If you return to your real self, you can see the ludicrousness in your thinking. –Barbara Y Martin

You have to face your fears with dynamic power and boundless courage. Most of us are afraid of failing. I am an optimist and I believe that every failure is a series of sequential wins – truth is, there is no such thing as failure even though it might feel as though it’s real. Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times and inside his numerous failures were equally numerous wins that became opportunities for inventions. In response to a question about his missteps, Edison once said, “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

Michael Jordan failed to shoot the ball 1000s of times and went on to win multiple playoff games and titles.  Jorden once exclaimed, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Based on these two people, along with thousands of others starting to realize what fear really is, they all see opportunities to understand where our amazingness lives.

Fear of failure is an illusion, one that I have experienced and suffered from countless times (truthfully, more times then I care to admit). I have also been barricaded in by my fear. Even with me being an optimist.  The difference is that I don’t dwell in my fear and I don’t linger in it as long as I used to.  I remember back to a time when I did though, a time when I had no idea of what failure or success was. Even when I appeared to be failing, success happened and ultimately success was right there.  Recently, I learned that life is a series of successes and is filled with successive moments of clarity. Success without fear and failure is something entirely different, however. Both failure and success are powerful learning experiences. Daring to ride with (and through) our fear starts to break down our weaknesses and build up strength in our thoughts and character.

Fear and failure are ever-present. Alongside fear and failure, success is constantly happening in the background and is always in expansion. For example, I have been doing my Calling in the One Unapologetically workshop for some time now and each and every time, fear finds its way into our meetings.  Now, I am not going to lie – I sometimes get frightened, because I want people to show up, I want to do a fabulous job, I love doing the work I do, and I sometimes fear that nobody will show up. I fear that it will be just me in an otherwise empty room.  However, I put this fear aside and keep moving ahead.  I do not allow fear to stop me. Do I get back on track? Yes, I clear myself and ride on.  Often times, it is just the uncertain feeling of not knowing when fear is going to come up. However, I expect it will come up, and this actualization makes me stronger.  I often wonder, if Oprah, Jordan, and all these famous people ever experience fear.  I wonder if TD Jakes or Steve Harvey experience fear on the stage in the moment.  I am sure they do; after all, they are only human.  We all have concerns like I don’t know how to do it, I get stopped by fear of the unknown, etc. I am sure we all at some point get stopped by our fear.   I won’t let it pull me out of the game. I look for the answer and get back into action. The workshops were born out of my need to find a mate. Dating is an all-in, on-the-court game that is a powerful blend of fear, failure and disappointment – but if you continue to play, you will find a way to win.

The thought of creating a mate of my own accord, without a team to support me was really boring. So, I invited a few women over to work with me. They said yes and my workshop was born. I have been Coaching Calling in the One Unapologetically for a good while now. You would think that after the first workshop and the beginning of the 2nd workshop, my fears and concerns would be eliminated by the time I got to the 3rd workshop. What happens instead is different fears and concerns show up before each workshop, which test my resolve and provide me with an opportunity to see my life in new ways. I’m eternally grateful for my continued courage to face, experience and overcome my fears quickly. Although creating workshops have become easier, I know that for anything that is of value in life, fears and concerns will always come up because that is where our courage and power live.

It’s normal to have fear and not let fear have you, or permit fear to take you off course. Fear, together with courage and power, is an essential ingredient to living life outside the lines and is critical for the success that we seek.

“Know this, you cannot enjoy the sweet taste of success if you don’t know how failure tastes.” -Unknown

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Personal Life Coach

What do you want in your life and in love?

In this 9 week workshop you will expand your capacity to give and receive love in all areas of your life. The theme and vibration of CITOU is LoveX4 Expanded.

CITOU is attracting love in all of life. It is about being love, having love in all areas of your life.  Your career, finances, health and well-being in area of your life.  It’s about creating what love is for you.  It about you’re having appreciation of who you really are, it’s about expanding yourself, going for everything that is important to you being bold owning your power.  CITOU helps you live your life and loving it without apology.  It is about getting started now! from where you are in your life.  It’s about having the things you want passionately, focusing and clarifying with your goals and having them materialize.  It about owing that you are creator of your life and the things you desire.  That you have value and are valuable, that you’re past is the past and that you have and are no such thing as failure.  Come release fears, empower yourself and your life, developing your self-awareness by being courageous.  Finding your rockets of desire and shooting for them.  Creating your life deliberately and ride.  Don’t know what you want, stuck in conversations.  Blank to your desires.  Bring it all.  Calling in the one will have you muddle through and create what you want authentically from yourself and your life.

January 20th   Brooklyn – The Herb Shoppe
Cost: $390.00
394 Atlantic Ave Brooklyn, NY
January 21st NYC –   Pearl Studio’s
Cost: $497.00  
500 8th Ave New York, NY

Times: 7:00 pm – 9:30 pm.  
Please RSVP  
917 945 5907 or noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

Honor Yourself So You Can Honor Others

If someone asks you for a favor, be clear that you want to do this favor. When you’re doing things you don’t want to do, this only creates resentment towards the other person and yourself.  Many of people do favors they don’t want to do, but when you live like that you go against your feelings.  When you choose to be honest with yourself by honoring yourself, expect that some people will not like it, or you.  People might say you’re selfish.  No one wants to be called selfish, everyone wants to look good and not suffer losing face, so you feel obligated in some way or another.

Inspirational Typographic Quote - Whatever's good for your soul go do that

It is important to make your life, thoughts, goals and time important.  It is important to commit to yourself.  If you do favors you don’t want to do, you will can be lost in the world of other people’s desires, and expectations which will only lead to bitterness and upset. Which cause uncertainty of where you will be and feel uncertain about your own choices. I think it is critical to be clear about what you will and will not do and who you are.  You can make your life a priority by being responsible where you acknowledge your thoughts and feeling which lets you be free to make choices and take actions, thereby providing you with a strong sense of who you are and allows you to be happy with the choices you make for yourself and your life.

If you do not honor yourself, you will not be able to honor others. You will know when it is important for you to be selfless and when to flow with things.

No, you cannot hang out at my apartment at 8:00am.  That might seem harsh to some people, but be honest with what one will and will not do. It helps one feel better about oneself.  It is not one’s intention to hurt another’s feelings and does not want to hurt one’s own feelings by saying yes when no is what is really meant.

Being honest with my desires provides me the respect for your desires, as it frees me from resentment of myself.  I have trained myself for a long time to be honest with myself.  Sometimes, it does not feel good to refuse a friend or a loved one.  However, when you respect your own choices, feeling good or bad has nothing to do with it.  You are just honoring your higher self and you learn that you are not responsible for everyone’s happiness, and you know that you cannot choose another’s happiness.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter


Begins september 7th 2015 (2)

Love is Everywhere. It is Never Far.

Calling in the One Unapologetically completed July 2nd 2015.  

What joy, happiness and wonder.


What We Experienced

Lovers, men and partnerships created.  

Health restored and taken on, 

Businesses launched, 

Giving, receiving and expanding in good portion, 

Jobs and joys fulfilled  

Money was understood and dreams came true


Who I am Now


I am stronger

Compassionate and passionate


Full of self-expression

Fear and fearlessness taken on


CITOU has been infused with love of who we are fully at our core.  Love is everywhere. It is never far.


Calling in the One was amazing. We are doing it again in September. Don’t miss it.


I am, we are, powerful and strong. We are women.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Project “90 Days to the Nanee”

Bigstock/Dudarev Mikhail
Bigstock/Dudarev Mikhail

Hey Ladies, I want to share something with you.

So, I had not been dating for over a year. Truth is I don’t want to date. I desire to be in a committed relationship that will lead to marriage.   I have had this conversation brewing that I needed to have men ask me out because I was sick of asking men out that I was attracted too. Instead of celebrating this freedom, I saw where I was making it wrong.

However, I had a conversation about it and came to the conclusion that I have been leading this course for over a year now, and I was not dating. Out of integrity for me. The truth is that I desired to meet a man that I was attracted to and that there was a spiritual component to it. After all, I’m a leader. Exasperated, I declared that I was going to go back to my old way of being. Within a day, I got a swipe from a guy on Okcupid and I put away my concerns and stories and had a date that Sunday. On this date, I discovered all the things I was avoiding and not accepting. The Okcupid guy was short, I did not want to be like my parents. My mother was tall 5.9 and my father was 5.6; to me, as a child they looked odd and I said that “I was never going to marry a man shorter than me” said by a child of about 7, that child was me. I had a story that I did not want to be dominated and that a small man would dominate me and tell me what to do like my father. The Okcupid date was a breakthrough for me. It was a great opportunity to see something, do something different and grow. That guy is no longer in my space, and I shared with him, how I felt and I could honestly, complete my interaction with and start from a place that is just friendship.

Last week, I discovered that I had a prototype of the men that I dated. Even though the men that were the loves of my life were complete opposites from my prototype. So come Wednesday, I’m going about my business in the city and enter a shop and there in the shop was my prototype. I immediately start with the eyes and the vagina and as luck would have it I had an opportunity to see to see myself in action. I got to be present and see my eyes and my vagina in action. Where was I, I was in an exclusive designer store and my prototype was an executive sales associate he comes around as I was speaking with a female sales person about a dress on the mannequin.   Immediately, I start flirting. To be honest, I have no real idea about what I was saying. I just know that I was grinning from ear to ear and my eyes were batting everywhere around this guy’s face. I noticed his smile, his lips omg he was attractive. I ask about the women section, it was upstairs. The female assistance apologies in advance about the slow elevator. I say not to worry, I will all the more look forward with enthusiasm, excitement and expectancy when I arrive at the 2nd floor destination, also known as the principles we start each Calling in “The One” Unapologetically session with.   Anyway, I ride the elevator and finally get to the 2nd floor which I could have walked up to but, I choose to ride. When the door opened I was greeted with the most beautiful dashing smile and it was the guy that I was flirting with on the main floor. I asked him if he ran up the stairs or did he have a twin brother. He said he was the twin and I had to choose. I laughed and continued to flirt. Fast forward we trade numbers, I take pictures of him giggled and flirted.

After having a joke about it with a friend. The following Wednesday after discovering more things about myself regarding my man prototype, I met a guy who is exactly my prototype down to the accent. French Colonial. To be specific Haitian. Laughing at a friend who said she would not allow a man to touch her taking a page out of Steve Harvey’s book. I thought about it and took it on. I have always had sex whenever I felt like it. I have never gone a month without having sex with a man. I enjoy sex and like getting it on. It never proved if a man liked me more or less, if he respected me more or less. However, I wanted to have an experience of myself not having sex with a man for 90 days. Not just any man, a man that I found attractive and sexy. So I declared that I was going refrain from having sex for with any man I was attracted or meet for 90 days so “Project 90 days to the Nanee” was born. I thought that this would be a struggle and I would not be able to make the request or get my request honored and I would do and be the same as I have always been about sex.

However, the truth is I wanted to be how I wanted to be which was not to talk about it but insert my demand that the guy gives me what I want and he’d be okay with it. This current choice was for myself. I wanted to see and experience myself clearly and completely without sex being connected with a man. That we would choose a time that we both agreed to have sex, we would be clear and adult about. This experience is important and it is for my self and the man can choose yes or no I would be fine with his choice. I would still continue on with my experience.

I desire this because I want to get to know the guy without sex in the game, without objectifying him. I know I want to have sex with him. Seriously my body is burning and I am having sensations that I have only had an experience of for a moment. I told him what I was doing and he agreed to play the game with me. Consequently, we have slept in bed now since we have met, 3 nights out of 12. It has been great. We have had no sexual interplay. We have both had sensations played, laughed, eat, talk and gone out together. No sexual interplay. I am actually enjoying being sexually expressed in my non-sexual self with this man. In fact, I would be enjoying myself with any man in this situation. It’s not like I could not or have never asked for anything. It is that I got what I wanted in my relationships by being demanding and with an attitude that didn’t serve me or the relationship. The experience was not generative and expression. Which did not allow for freedom and choice. What I discovered is that the kind of sex I was having was taking away from being present and I did not experience an opportunity to being present thus rendering me open.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter


Calling In The One (7)

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I’m No Longer Dating With My Eyes and Vagina

Romantic couple on the date, abstract ripped paper background


What does that look like when I date with my eyes? I look for the hot guy. When I date with my vagina it’s all about lust. The hot guy for me is the guy that fits my proto-type of what I find attractive and enjoy. I couldn’t help it and now I understand it was my automatic when it came to dating.

What’s a proto-type? A proto-type for me is the type of man that does it for me. I found that I dated that same dynamic over and over again. An example of my proto-type is a man that is tall, 6.2 to 6.5ft, bald, preferably West African or a French colony, his complexion is jet black. He is loving kind, a little bottled-up sexually and wants to fully sexually express, that last part is not that specific I just noticed that. That’s what I’m attracted to and that is what turns my head. I also noticed that this is completely the opposite of the first man in my life which was my dad. My dad was 5.6ft my mother was 5.9ft and they looked odd. So I was working on avoiding that dynamic. My father had a Napoleon complex and I believed that a little man would try to dominate me. My father was moody, bossy and the boss. In a lot of ways he was great and in a lot of ways he was exactly how he had to be with me.

I’ve always envied people who did not have a proto-type until I discovered we all have our thing, some physical some not. Whatever it is, we all have our proto-type. However, I am smart enough to know that we all have something that does it for us. Don’t ask me why. That is the physical aspect of what’s attractive to me and I have been attracted to it over and over.

What happens is whenever I’d meet my proto-type, it was as though my mind would go blank – I didn’t see anything other than what they looked like and what I described. Oh, I forgot to add, I love great teeth. Great teeth do it for me. There are no questions, it’s all physical and it will go no further than that because I have no foundation for anything else. It is a fantasy. I don’t ask the questions that we would normally ask of a date, because I’m not operating from any place other than my eyes and my vagina. Lust and my sense of beauty. There is no future in this regard. This connection is base, it can go on for a long time with no future. It’s all about looking good and sex.

With my proto-type there is no future to create because I was never present. My proto-type is purely feel good, look good and wow! Basically, I was disconnected, shallow and was operating at a base level. No judgement it was just what it was.

It’s so great that I have discovered that this is what I have been doing with relationships. I want you to know that I am not saying that what I did was wrong or right, good or bad. I am just being responsible and not allowing my vagina to go on a date without the rest of me. The dynamic that I was creating has now expired because I’m creating relationship, commitment and connection in a relationship.

It is the knowledge that I have about myself, I have the tools and ability to be responsible, present in my relationships going forward and the outcome of that is that on Sunday, I had a date, the 1st in a long time, the first one when I did not worry about height or concern myself that he was not my proto-type and I was settled inside myself as I was completely present and experienced a really great date. I had a good time. I stayed on my side of the date. It was my job to enjoy myself and have fun and I did that. I asked questions, shared myself. Ate good food. Laughed at his funny and corny jokes. Had some silly jokes corny jokes of my own. I even got moved that I could actually be on a date with a man that was not my proto-type and I gave myself an opportunity to wonder what it would be like to be with a man that was smaller than anyone that I have ever dated. I saw that what I had been avoiding this whole time in my relationship was looking like my parents. My mother was taller than my father and this guy was 1 inch taller than me.

People, I have been avoiding dating my father, forever a short man. I had an internal conversation and limiting belief that had me create the complete opposite of what I did not know I was avoiding. Me, a tall woman with a short man. That conversation, going forward can be buried and put in the past. I had been dating with my eyes and vagina pretty much all my adult life. I did not have a barometer to distinguish anything going forward. The difference now, is I’m dating with curiosity and being present.

Noreen is ready to engage in a full adult relationship that is inspiring where I know myself as generative, creative, loving and kind. One where I am sharing myself openly, intimately with a man that is amazing and beyond my wildest dreams. Now, I know I am not naïve. I’m open to knowing whatever concerns I will show up and I embrace them as opportunities to grow.

Passion and love is courageous and all-encompassing.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach