Noreen Sumpter is my Name

Noreen Sumpter is my name. I am a personal life coach and the host of Beyond Potential: Live Life Your Way, a 2-year-old live radio and podcast. I am past Vice President of NAWBO NYC, President of Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, Business Referral Group, Board Member of Fort Green Park, friend, colleague, Founder and Partner of Lunch Lady NYC, and a lover of life. I have been featured in Oprah Winfrey’s O Magazine, Reader’s Digest and was a guest on This American Life.
I founded Live Life Your Way, a program to address the demands of successful and amazing people who are stuck in their lives in ways that trap and inhibit their personal and professional growth and self-esteem. The higher you go in life, the less you can talk and share what’s going on with you. I am a lover of life and people.  I believe that no matter what you do in your life if you love it and you are working at it, the work is your love made visible. “Work is love made visible,” says Kahlil Gibran.  
I have been in the United States (NYC) since 1985, and I have loved every last minute of it.  I love the people. I love the reputation that we have as New Yorkers because not one bit of it is true.  We are loving, caring, straight-forward, no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is people.  However, we will take a moment out of our hustle to help a fellow human being on their journey who is in a fix.  We all know that we have a purpose to live, and when we find it, we go hard to manifest it. When we find it, we live life by it.  I know and I have seen that when we find out the purpose, we live by it and our wealth will come by it a lot more easily and joyfully because we will love our work and we love our life.  Our purpose has a trickle-down effect which causes and spreads happiness.
After being and living in New York, from London since 1985 and arriving in NY with $60 and the love of a good man. I chose to exercise my right to become a citizen of the United States of America.  So on January 3rd, I took the Oath of Allegiance and became a citizen of the United States of America.  Swearing the Oath of Allegiance was a challenging experience.  As a non-American that became an American,  I promised to bear arms and fight for the United States of America. However, living in New York, I always thought I had the right to be a part of the American Dream. However, on January 3, I realized that it did not fully belong to me.  After taking the Oath, I feel connected.  I feel authentic that the American Dream is really and authentically mine, and it is now my reality to create my dream however, I choose. That is my bearing arms, that I will fight and defend the constitution and laws of the United States of America… a very strange feeling.  I will also bear arms in my work, continuing to stand for my clients so that they will love their life and value themselves and live life their way.
I am excited and happy not just with becoming as US Citizen, but with stepping heavily into a new decade and starting newly and leaving my mark in and on the lives of the people I meet in America. I now have a vote, and I will be contributing and doing my duty.  Happy New Year!

Creating 2020 So Your 2019 is Wonderfully Planned

I saw Rich Litvin ask his clients to focus on 2020, and I thought I would take it on myself.  2018 – can you believe is almost over? Most coach always asks me to focus and reflect. However, my coach, Patty DeDominic, asked me to start focusing on 2019. Then, Rich talked about focusing on 2020.  Focusing on 2020 makes a lot of sense coupled with what my coach asked me to work- my business. It makes a hell of a lot of sense!  Why? Because if I have 2020 in mind, then I am going to plan and prove that 2019 was fantastic.

How is that possible?  As a creative, I am always thinking of new and creative things. I am always thinking of a vision. Many of us are always being reactive which can make us crazy.  Well, I am of the mind that life is created as opposed to being reacted to.  I used to be very reactive. I still am a little. The difference is that I now recognize it and can cut it off the moment I experience it.  Being reactive takes a lot of energy and robs me of life and the possibility of my dreams.

I had an amazing life in 2018!  All I can say is that I am happy.  I have learned a lot about myself and my life and contributed a lot to my clients.  I have transformed myself and my business by putting a lot of ways of being and steps in place for success.  My commitments have been consistent. I am happy and excited about the future, no matter what happens, because I am present and ready to be ready (in the words of Abraham Hicks and the law of attraction). My clients received much value from my services as their Personal Life Coach, and that will only get better.  I created and brought that value that I desired to bring to their life, and they bring value to my life.

Do you want to have a progressive and wonderful 2020? If you want to have a great 2020, you have to make sure that your 2019 is amazing so that it folds into 2020 with ease.

We are creative people. We create our lives every day, whether in a good way or a bad way. The challenge of being creative is that we are always thinking about the future. We spend very little time reflecting on what we are proud of or grateful for. This is the time of year to start looking.

 

What are you most proud of — just one little thing?

  • I asked four of my clients a question that resulted in them getting engaged to the love of their life and being married.
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in her creating a new job and making the salary of her dreams with a company where her personal and professional mission was in alignment. 
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in her becoming an Angel investor. 
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in her getting a huge bonus.
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted in him being complete with the death of his father 5 years ago and being at peace with the death of his mother, knowing that his parents were proud of him.  
  • I asked one of my clients a question and had her write her personal and professional mission which resulted in her getting a job, getting paid what she wanted with all the perks she wanted, even the perks she did not know she wanted.
  • I asked one of my clients a question which resultedin her telecommuting one day, something that her company had never done before.
  • I asked one of my clients a question that resulted inher leaving her divorce behind and moving to another country, creating an excellent job and creating a new relationship where she is living life her way. 
  • I asked my client one question that resulted in her becoming a significant contributor to the success of her company.
  • I asked my client one question that resulted in her falling in love with herself and realizing that she deserved all that she wanted in her life. Now, she knows she is the creator of her reality.  
  • I asked my client one question, and she increased her income and got a fabulous new job in approximately 3 days.

 

As your coach, I ask questions that will make you nervous.

I have you face the things you are avoiding at all costs. 

I have you create small actions that’ll make a massive difference. 

I have you be present in your life. 

I have you be accountable in your life. 

I have you create a positive relationship with yourself first and foremost.

 

I love coaching. I have been called magical; however, I can assure you that I do not have a magic wand.  But, I will help you tune into yourself in a way that you have never done before.  Here is what I request of you:

#1: Schedule yourself for a free 15 Hello Call. Be open to listen and share yourself on this call.  This call is the beginning of what will be a transformation in your life.

#2: You will need to be open to listening and sharing completely. Be judgment free of yourself.  Do this, and I promise you that your life will already begin to change.

Thank you, Rich Litvin, for your layout and contribution to me.

 

 

Focus on the Big Picture

When I want to start or create something that I have never done before- be it exercise or something that calls for growth, development, and consistency- I find that it is important for me to take a look at the whole picture and then take bite-size pieces that I create instead of trying to figure out.  Why not figure out?  Well, I can only figure out things I have done before.  So if it’s something that I have not created before, there is no way to figure it out. You need to be honest, committed, and supportive which can show up in many different ways that I have not yet figured out.  Take myself, for instance, I have been working out on and off for years.  I have been consistent with my inconsistencies.  Long periods of working out then stopping.  However, the stopping periods have become shorter. I have learned that I stopped because I wanted to experience immediate success and then got discouraged. (Folly) Well, I know and have rediscovered that immediate success is possible and not possible.  You might ask, “What is Noreen talking about?”  Let me just say that exercise gives incremental success.  With exercise it is something I feel.  However, I cannot see it.  Let’s look at doing push-ups.  Doing 10 in the beginning was difficult.  However, when I had a coach, or I was being responsible, my coach would not let me stop.  His name was Dr. Evil.  I’d do 10 push-ups 3 times a week in my overall workout.  Then the following week, the same amount of push-ups became easier. Let’s look at me running on the “Dreadmill”, or treadmill. Five minutes was forever when I started – lungs busting out, wanting to vomit down my T-shirt and on the coach.  As I continued, it became easier. I was looking for instant results in my body. Did I lose 1/4 inch? No.  What I have since learned with my on again off again workout pattern is:

1. I do not like working out.  However, working out loves me. 
2. My BMI does not happen in the gym or on the “Dreadmill”; it happens in the kitchen.
3. I have committed to an overall vision of my health- big picture of what I need to do to create better health.

This means I do not have to like working out. I can enjoy working out. I can create a good understand and structure for what I put in my mouth.  I will get fitter, tighter, leaner and experience overall greatness inside my body.  So, I have learned to cut myself a good amount on slack.  Stop when I need to and start again when I’m ready and be responsible for the results I get or do not get and the pain I have to experience when I don’t wash, rinse and repeat the process I have learned. In conclusion, everything I do is a commitment, and my commitment is consistency. I do not have to do anything alone. I don’t have to like it. It lives in my commitment to my health.  


Rah Rah Person

For years I called myself the “Rah Rah Person” (like a cheerleader) until I found out that I was being a coach.  In July 2005, after taking classes at NYU, I declared myself a personal life coach. Today, I know that it has been the best choice in and for my life.

I no longer wanted to be a Real Estate Broker, and it was a difficult choice to leave the industry. At the time I was happy, and everything was clicking.

Then, why was I crying on my couch? I was done being a Real Estate Broker, and I didn’t know why because I still loved it.  I discovered I could leave something that I loved.  It was the end of a career, and I didn’t have to hate it or make it wrong. It was time.  I’d be miserable if I stayed and so would my clients.  I let my license expire, and I chose. You can do this even if nothing seems wrong, even when things seem to be working.

Even with my new certification and declaring myself a personal life coach, it was scary.  I don’t remember being scared of being a realtor. It had tangible, physical properties. Whereas with coaching, it’s all intellectual property, and the work was from the ground up.  I had to relearn how to listen and how to hold space and a slew of other skills.  Rewiring and understanding that what I saw was not necessarily so and taking it with a grain of salt or something.

I recreated and stretched myself out into the world to generate clients. I messed up, made mistakes and blunders.  Without clients, I was not a coach. Being a good coach was not enough.  I had to enroll and register people to become my clients and use me. I wanted clients but not just any clients, extraordinary clients who did the work and got results, clients who were able to co-create and grow with me and take action to get the results they said they wanted and be open to results they did not know they wanted.  They had to grow to like and trust me.  I had to be able to say the things that no one else would dare say and have them commit to making the difference they said they wanted.

13 years in, I have a career I love, and people still ask me, “Noreen, what does a personal life coach do?”  In a nutshell, I help people create and manifest their dreams.  I am a miracle-maker.  My clients now see themselves powerfully and know they deserve a life they love.

One client said it like this in a testimonial:

I had the honor of working with Noreen Sumpter during several of her workshops and they were all incredible experiences! She is a key figure in my growth and development as a young woman. I continue to be deeply grateful for the gift and blessing that she is as a coach and leader. She is someone who lives so that others may awaken to the people they truly are. She is a beacon of light in my life. I can confidently say that there are many, many, many people in this world who have also worked with Noreen and who feel the same way!

I celebrate because I now contribute in ways that I didn’t dream of, and I am loving me and my life.  My clients come to live and be extraordinary in their life.  They are now shiny and bright and confident.  They own their power, speak their truth, and live life on their own terms.  I love my clients. I support them to build confidence and develop self-esteem so they can connect with their true selves.  My clients are accountable to own their power. They get out of their way so they can accomplish dreams.  I love my work. I do kick their butts if it is necessary and will terminate our relationship if they are not doing the work to get the results they want.

It has opened a world of joy and happiness for myself and my clients.  It has allowed me to grow develop and create the life that I love, and in turn that my clients love.

This year I celebrate 13 years! I applaud my success  I have given myself permission to be, do and have- to own my voice, speak my truth, and live life my way.  I stand in my belief that finding our path is critical and that doing what I love, I give, knowing that I am the source of my abundance and that helps me prosper, and others flourish. It’s a win-win.

Congratulations, to you my dear, Noreen Sumpter. Keep expanding, growing, and developing, sharing your gifts with others.

Fear, Doubt and Judgment Create Opinions that Kill Dreams

It is 2017… I just finished speaking, and people are introducing themselves and thanking me. “You changed the energy in the room.”  ” I would love to speak with you.”  “Do you have a card?“ People want my attention. I’m being pulled in many directions. I love it. I know some people fear public speaking.

There’s one lady that stuck out in high definition.  My mind immediately went rogue, aka judgment. She didn’t seem approachable. Truth is, she doesn’t have to be. Regardless, I introduce myself to her. We exchange details and promise to connect.  We agreed to do a Zoom video conferencing call.

Zoom was awkward at first, but then it became comfortable as we talked. We asked and answered questions. Why NY? She’s English. We got comfortable and laughed. She asked me if I’d heard of NAWBO.  I had not. Google is my best friend.  She said it was NAWBO, the National Association of Women Business Owners, and she’d love to have me on the board. “Sure,” I said. My one caveat: NAWBO had to be diverse.  A year later, I sit on the board of NAWBO, a fantastic organization set up to empower women.  With NAWBO my creativity is unabashedly unleashed.

I’m sharing this story because it’s important to stay out of your way (your head) and meet people.  What you and I think about someone is immaterial. Noticing and pushing past your judgments is essential.  

Consider how many people you didn’t speak to because of an opinion?  Opinions are the gap between your dreams and goals fulfilled.  Do you want to fulfill your goals and dreams? I’d like to request three things:   

  • CHECK your fear, doubt, judgments and opinion at the door.
  • Make contact. Get curious. Spot someone. Make eye contact.  Share a smile.
  • Begin a conversation. Say hello.

Live Life Your Way.  

Busy Can Be Beautiful When You Get Engaged: My Week of Networking

On Wednesday, I attended the Annual Open House for the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce where I am a member and an Ambassador. Microsoft hosted it on their terrace overlooking Times Square. More than 200 Chamber members and future members and friends came out to hobnob in what I think is one of the city’s best networking organizational events. I had so much fun and connected with so many people I’ve met at the Chamber throughout the year. Unfortunately, I didn’t take any photos because I was having fun. However, here are some shots of the party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday, I attended an event at the Friars Club hosted by UBS. The invitation was extended to me by my friend Ron Foster of RonLouisDesigns.com. He is a fantastic interior designer. That was a pleasant experience because we met not only some incredible people, but we also had the pleasure of bumping into the producer of the movie Ocean’s 8 with the female cast. While at the Friars Club, my mind couldn’t help but wonder despite having fun. I could not help thinking about times gone by where I might not have been permitted to enter this hallowed place of jokes and entertainment because of my race.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday was a busy, eventful, and happy day for me.  I had my NAWBO event which was hosted and curated by me. I brought together video content, fashion, and networking with Justin Swain of Open Reel and the Aysha Collection NYC. Along with NAWBO, National Association of Women Business Owners, and myself, Noreen Sumpter, personal life coach and founder of the LLYW Program.  What a wonderful week. We had an excellent amount of guests attend and ask a ton of questions about Open Reel’s presentation. One never can tell how an event will be received. You can have the best-laid plans and seriously it turns out to be a dog, not the kind of dog that people love, but a mangy event that no one wants to touch and slowly they leave out the back door.  I believe if you give a warm and mighty welcome to your speakers, they will get excited. Always build them up for why you invited them to speak. The speaker brings it and your guests get engaged. There you go. I guess that is why I am the VP of Member Engagement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am living life my way.  On a side note, I am happy to say that I had a beautiful, healthy week. I hugged and kissed a lot of people. Networking is an excellent opportunity to meet people and do business.

Thanks to the following people, places, and organizations:
The FlatIron Hotel, Aysha Collection, NYC.  Open Reel,
Results Resources, Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, NAWBO

Noreen Sumpter,
Radio Host The Potentiator and Personal Life Coach

 

Love, friends, sun, sea, and sand in Barbados

Love, friends, sun, sea, and sand in Barbados.  I am happy and so proud of my work. I love my coaching, and I am honored to say that my work works.  I have always been a proponent of life coaching. It works if the client works it. I have always said and known that my work works and that my clients get results when they take the coaching.  That is my commitment.  I am only as good as the results the clients get because they are committed to doing the work. I am committed to that.
 
It is an honor and privilege to be a Personal Life Coach, to have people fulfill their goals, dreams, and desires and be a contribution. 
 
A client of mine, after doing my workshop Calling in the One Unapologetically, she met a man and started dating him. Two years later after building a fantastic relationship,  and getting to know each other, they tied the knot and were married in Barbados. And, of course, yours truly was there to witness the happy event with my own eyes.  I love that and felt proud of my work personified! I Iove when my clients get great jobs or promotions, fulfill their dreams, purchase things they desire like cars, pay off debt, end relationships that don’t work, honor themselves, heal family wounds, or forgive themselves and others. I’m happy for them. I am so glad for the work that I do and the space that I create for clients.  Going to a wedding and witnessing a marriage that was just a dream, is the best experience ever!  Calling in the One Unapologetically will be starting again in the summer online.  Call for further information  917-945-5907
 
Congratulations, Dorian and Dean!  

Dream Big and End the Cycle

I am powerful.

I am passionate.

I love to take action.  

I know that I can be successful.  

Do you say things like this about yourself?

You know these things about yourself yet know something is still missing?  

Well, if you are reading this note, you’re in the correct place.

You’re powerful, passionate, action-oriented, and successful. However, you can’t see your eyeballs, and you require some reflection. The mirror in your bathroom is not enough, and it can be annoying because you’re not getting any answers.  You might be sick of this hum that you keep hearing.

Your biggest challenge is that you’re an extraordinary achiever and the people in your circle are not playing at the level that you are. You might be dumbing yourself down, plunging head first into an abyss of frustration that is hindering you and holding you back from what is possible in your life.

I am an expert at helping you go beyond your potential to live life your way. I will help you reach your levels of success by coaching you to connect to your truth and step into your power, success, creativity, and abundance.   

You have been doing what you know to do which now looks like a what I call the wash, rinse, and repeat cycle.  You might have heard it that said before, or you’ve experienced it. You might even have a checklist to the fact.  However, that process, despite your success, is losing its effectiveness, and the sequence is not going to provide you with the success you want.

In fact, the qualities that have had you experience this success are dated and are losing their juice which might be causing you frustration and, in turn, a loss of self. You might even hear yourself saying things like, “I always know what to do and now I don’t, and that is not me.”  Well, my dear, it is you. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten. I am here to tell you, you’re dated, and it might be time for an upgrade.

Through my work, I have discovered and experienced qualities or ways of being that help high achievers to be successful and to move forward. Being held back can become a curse and a blessing at the same time, making you a jack of all and a master of none.  

You’re a visionary; you’re able to dream big and create.  You have an unbelievable amount of projects. You have incompleted projects, and you have so many options which are detrimental to your success. You know these people.  They are filled with ideas and have a hard time starting.

Exponential success. You experience success quickly.  However, you judge, access, and make yourself wrong because it seems like you’re not working hard enough. And you suffer a sense of worthlessness (your private hell) because of your judgments.  People around think you’re amazing and powerful. However, you don’t feel good enough, smart enough. So you’re hiding out and feeling like a fake because you’re able to create exponential success in a short period.  You get what you want when you take action.

You know you’re not as productive as you could be.

You know you don’t have to work as hard as the average person, and if you don’t watch out, you’ll know you can get stuck in your life. Not being as productive as possible, and you know it.  Your truth is only you know that you’re underperforming because most people think you’re a rock star, and you have no one to hold you accountable to your goals and actions.

You are a problem-solver. You get inspired and energized by challenges.  Where most people struggle, burn out around problems, you solve them in a beat.  This has you keeping to yourself and struggling to meet your long-term goals without support and accountability.  

You never get the support you require because you do not share. People think that you don’t need it.  People are intimidated by you because they see you as a person that doesn’t require help. So, you are a lone ranger who is not accountable to anyone, not even yourself, missing out on creating the relationships with people who would be so happy to help you.  

You focus on the future, not living in the present moment.  So, you work toward the future, forgetting to live in the present, missing out on the life that you want to create.

As a high achiever, you do not get the opportunity to engage with people in a whole, complete, and perfect way.  The higher your status- be it a career, economics, or just your way of being- people around you never know the true you.  You don’t share and open up to others, and in turn, people are not open to speaking their truth. It is hard for them to be there because you cannot say what your “truth” is. When you are a top performer, you have a small number of people who are able or willing to speak, be courageous, and say the things that you need to hear. As a high achiever, it can be a lonely world.  

I am the only person in my client’s world who will speak honestly with them.  I don’t give you mud covered with icing and tell you it’s cake. It’s mud no matter what. I don’t sugar coat. You pay me for support, truth, reflection, and accountability so that you can fulfill your dreams, goals, and desires.  I tell it to you as I hear it by reflecting back to you so that you can see and hear your bullshit. I am not here to please you. I am your coach. I tell you what others are not bold or courageous enough to say. I coach from an authentic and vulnerable space.

In the end, what do you want from your life?

In the end, what do you really want for yourself and your life?  What are the results and benefits that you want to accomplish and why?

Consider what you will do in your life to have you walk away a winner, having what you want and designing your life the way you would like.

Below is a list of the tangible examples, measurable benefits and results that you may want:

  1. Accomplishment of your personal goals
  2. A strong self-esteem that rockets
  3. Trust in yourself and trust in others
  4. An experience of happiness with yourself
  5. Creating your own truth and thus making it your reality
  6. Freedom
  7. Strong, generative, passionate relationships
  8. Feeling grounded, connected, and at ease with life
  9. The past is in its place
  10. Abundance of health, wealth, love, power, success and creativity
  11. Creating your passion or passions and sharing them unabashedly  

There are some very simple answers and actions to take.  Is there anywhere in your life where you are not recognizing your power, your strength?  Would you be willing to think about it?

Do you know who you are?  

Do people really know you?  

What do you like about yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

What don’t you like about yourself?

What are you willing to do about it?

Who do you have disagreements with and are you willing to clean them up?

What are you tolerating, putting up with, or suffering through?

Are you willing to create a new image of yourself that reflects your true being?

What would it take for you to express your courage, compassion, love, trust, etc?

How will you develop those qualities and what is in the way?

What would you look like with your new quality? What would it provide for your life?

Make your life a priority.

Disempowered thoughts keep you trapped and rob you of your life.

Ordinary People are Just as Fascinating and Interesting as Extraordinary People

Ordinary people. I love people and find them to be incredibly exciting and complex beings. It is essential to take time to be interested in others.

Everyone possesses something interesting about themselves no matter how different and weird it might be. It is essential to take time to listen as I always think there is something to learn. I hear people complaining about the dates they go on, about the person they went out with being boring or complaining about how the person was this or that. I have also had my share of disappointments and failures in the dating arena, but I still find people interesting. The person might not be for me, yet I find the interest.

As a coach, I know that we can always find something good in other people. If you want people to like you, or if you want to develop relationships, it’s important that you have an interest and care about people by accepting people as they are. You can always find something good about the people you date and meet in your life. I often ask my clients who have weaknesses in this area to challenge themselves to find something interesting in the people they meet and know.

Bring an end to the thought that people are boring. People are not boring. If you find people to be boring, look inside and try to discover why you think they are boring. Could it be that you are boring and can find nothing interesting in another person because maybe there’s nothing interesting about you? Could it be that you are looking for someone to entertain you and people are not entertaining enough for you? Like I said, everyone is interesting.

I read about a reformed gang member who did 13 years in prison and left the notorious Mara Salvatrucha aka MS-13. The Mara Salvatrucha gangs have cliques, or factions, located throughout the United States and Latin America and are composed mostly of Salvadorans, Guatemalans, Hondurans and other Central Americans. You know, you see these things on the telly and then it’s like all of a sudden you bump into someone who in a hundred years you never think that your paths would cross. I meet people everywhere and when I say everywhere, I really mean that. And one day, at my usual brunch place, I met a former MS-13 gang member.

Armed with my Discovery Channel documentary information, I found this man very interesting. As I looked into his face and asked him about his teardrop tattoos on the corners of his eyes, which I recognized as symbols of the notorious gang MS-13 by way of watching the Discovery Channel reports on gangs in America. Based on the commentary on the documentary, I smiled and asked him jokingly, “How many people have you killed?” Not expecting to get a real response, he replied by saying, “I spent the last 13 years in prison. I must have done one or two.”

I was in a state of disbelief and shock at his honesty. I was not expecting a response of that magnitude. He, in turn, asked me where I was from based on my accent.

He continued to share with me his gang affiliations (MS-13). As he continued to order his pancakes, he shared about jumping in and the rules for leaving the gang which the documentary described as getting beat up by your friends. He told me that there is a structure for leaving the gang if one goes to prison. He chose to leave the gangs of his youth behind. He was extremely pleasant, not at all as menacing as I would have been led to believe. His life was different from mine, and the link that brought us together was pancakes and the generosity of sharing our stories in an instant. We giggled and parted energy.

Again I say, have an interest in the people you share the planet with. People are extremely fascinating and have amazing stories full of passion and adventure. Rise up, people! Practice spending time and become interested in other people you share the planet with as you will become more interesting as a result of being interested.

13 Ways to Live Life by Your Own Design

The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life.  There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out.  I can guarantee that!  There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week, and last year.  The world, hell, the Universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way™  and live by your own design.

  1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you

Laundry isn’t important to me.  Having clean clothes is what’s important, and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simple by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

  1. Ask for Help

Asking for help is really important.  A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help.  Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it.  Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it.  Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them.  Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

  1. Stay in contact

It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important.  There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend.  You need to express love and share love.  Love is addictive.  Giving love and expressing love feels good.  Try it.  Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend. Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now.  Stop what you’re doing and just do it.  The first five people in your phone to start.  I just sent out eight instead of five and got three responses already in eight minutes! Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it.  However, keep in touch with people as best as you can –  it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

  1. Surround yourself with things you like

Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like.  Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you.  When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels. For example, the social media platform, Pinterest, is an awesome mood booster, and you can view it on your computer or phone when you need a pick-me-up or a little inspiration.

  1. Create a Gratitude List

I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.  

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind.  Gratitude has the power to move you forward.  

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life and see their goals develop faster.

  1. Keep a planner to stay organized

Keeping a planner makes life less crazy.  It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun.  Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. Balance your time and give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to an appointment you don’t have time for or don’t want to have.

  1. Keep track of your wins

Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements.  Writing down your wins, achievements, and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

  1. Make your appearance your own

Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style, and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.  

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. If you don’t feel great in your body, exercise and eat healthier to keep yourself in shape.

Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.  

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look.  The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

  1. Create a go-to Group

Create a go-to group. A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake up.  

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect.  Your group must not coach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life.  They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks.

Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

  1. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts

Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy.  We went to see Fat Albert.  The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.  

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud –  it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps, and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

  1. Be emotionally okay

Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry, or for your crying.  

If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it.  Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness.  Don’t cover your emotions, express them. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way.  You’ll feel so much better after the release.

  1. Write things down

Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having, or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain, and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

  1. Accept yourself as you are

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and love yourself every moment.  Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.  

Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

 

We Get the Lessons Before the Test

Life Lessons from C-Suite hosted by Paypal and produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, with featured speaker Jennifer Risi, Worldwide Chief Communications Officer at Ogilvy. The Paypal offices were the perfect location for this event. The attendees were an attractive crop of people. Everything lined up just perfectly – the anchor and moderator was Hope King, Cheddar.

What is C-Suite? It’s the high-level executives who are in senior positions of management at major worldwide companies. For instance, it’s the 3 positions that start with C in large corporations. Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Chief Financial Officer (CFO), Chief Operating Officer (COO), and Chief Communications Officer (CCO). Chief is the operative word it seems. Henceforth, we have the term C-Suite.

Jennifer Risi is not your typical C-Suiter. She’s cool as a cucumber and great to listen to, unlike many C-suiters I’ve heard speak in the past. Jennifer told us upfront that she didn’t have a plan for her career. She got a job in PR, and it seems she ran with it and it worked out swimmingly. All the other C-Suiters I had the pleasure of reading about had a plan or strategy.

Jennifer is confident and authentic; I would go as far as to say, “She’s dope,” as my friend Chad says. My guess is that she‘s probably the first in her family/first generation to have a corporate success story. She’s straightforward and as I listened, I could see that her team, who sat beaming with pride and ready to jump in to support, were really proud of her.

I enjoy attending events produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce. I always learn a lot. It’s like being a voyeur outside the speaker’s office. Not only do I learn about their ascent and how they got to be successful in their current positions, but I also get to learn about the books they’re reading. Not Jennifer, she gets her reading through her work very straight, not trying to look good at all. I discover if they have a sense of humor and see how they handle stress and deal with failures. Most importantly for me, I get to see how they deal with people and handle challenges.

I learn how C-Suiters crafted their careers, or in Jennifer’s case, how she fell into hers. C-suiters, for me, seem self-aware, honor their word, and are likeable people. They seem like people I would enjoy hanging out with and listening to their stories.

I’m borderline obsessed with the way Jennifer’s staff appeared. I was so intrigued. I asked them a few questions after Jennifer’s talk. It was just what I expected – they love her! The questions I asked were simple, but everything about their answers worked:

Does Jennifer micromanage?

Answer: No

Does she give you space?

Answer: Yes

Does she allow you to fail, learn, and grow?

Answer: Yes.

From Jennifer’s talk and from these one word answers, I learned a lot of information about her management style. Jennifer is who she says she is – an open door. For me, it was a breath of fresh air. She provides her people the work and gives them free range to do it their way. She allows for mistakes because she knows her team and knows that people learn from mistakes. Jennifer, it seems, doesn’t have a typical management style; she does not manage people. She manages agreements which allows them space to learn and grow and fess up when mistakes happen.

In her early career, Jennifer shared that she was described as and told she had hard edges. I thought about this statement for myself and my life. I’ve been told that I can be pushy. I came to the conclusion that if you’re a forward-thinking chick who has the potential for success or to make a difference, you’re a strong woman. You’ve probably heard that statement or experienced a similar description of yourself. And, if you’re a man reading this, you might’ve referred to a woman or two with some negative connotation (not all men, but some); you know who you are. Furthermore, if you’re a woman who does her job and has at least one ounce of passion, I’m sure you’ve heard something distasteful said about you. Maybe you’ve even been called a bitch, if not to your face, definitely behind your back.

Jennifer is hardworking, wise, and knows how to play the game of corporate life. She takes criticism and feedback constructively and uses it as food for her soul and as an opportunity to grow, no matter how challenging or difficult it may seem. She addresses criticism in a way where she finds value in it and allows it to move her forward and not take her out of her game.

My takeaway from Jennifer’s talk was: surround yourself with trusted colleagues and create a strong network of people you trust. Create relationships with human resources; make them your partners.

Jennifer Risi, to me, is passion, creativity, and integrity. She owns her voice, creates her value, speaks her truth and lives life her way.

Love yourself! Until next time!