We Get the Lessons Before the Test

Life Lessons from C-Suite hosted by Paypal and produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce, with featured speaker Jennifer Risi, Worldwide Chief Communications Officer at Ogilvy. The Paypal offices were the perfect location for this event. The attendees were an attractive crop of people. Everything lined up just perfectly – the anchor and moderator was Hope King, Cheddar.

What is C-Suite? It’s the high-level executives who are in senior positions of management at major worldwide companies. For instance, it’s the 3 positions that start with C in large corporations. Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Chief Financial Officer (CFO), Chief Operating Officer (COO), and Chief Communications Officer (CCO). Chief is the operative word it seems. Henceforth, we have the term C-Suite.

Jennifer Risi is not your typical C-Suiter. She’s cool as a cucumber and great to listen to, unlike many C-suiters I’ve heard speak in the past. Jennifer told us upfront that she didn’t have a plan for her career. She got a job in PR, and it seems she ran with it and it worked out swimmingly. All the other C-Suiters I had the pleasure of reading about had a plan or strategy.

Jennifer is confident and authentic; I would go as far as to say, “She’s dope,” as my friend Chad says. My guess is that she‘s probably the first in her family/first generation to have a corporate success story. She’s straightforward and as I listened, I could see that her team, who sat beaming with pride and ready to jump in to support, were really proud of her.

I enjoy attending events produced by the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce. I always learn a lot. It’s like being a voyeur outside the speaker’s office. Not only do I learn about their ascent and how they got to be successful in their current positions, but I also get to learn about the books they’re reading. Not Jennifer, she gets her reading through her work very straight, not trying to look good at all. I discover if they have a sense of humor and see how they handle stress and deal with failures. Most importantly for me, I get to see how they deal with people and handle challenges.

I learn how C-Suiters crafted their careers, or in Jennifer’s case, how she fell into hers. C-suiters, for me, seem self-aware, honor their word, and are likeable people. They seem like people I would enjoy hanging out with and listening to their stories.

I’m borderline obsessed with the way Jennifer’s staff appeared. I was so intrigued. I asked them a few questions after Jennifer’s talk. It was just what I expected – they love her! The questions I asked were simple, but everything about their answers worked:

Does Jennifer micromanage?

Answer: No

Does she give you space?

Answer: Yes

Does she allow you to fail, learn, and grow?

Answer: Yes.

From Jennifer’s talk and from these one word answers, I learned a lot of information about her management style. Jennifer is who she says she is – an open door. For me, it was a breath of fresh air. She provides her people the work and gives them free range to do it their way. She allows for mistakes because she knows her team and knows that people learn from mistakes. Jennifer, it seems, doesn’t have a typical management style; she does not manage people. She manages agreements which allows them space to learn and grow and fess up when mistakes happen.

In her early career, Jennifer shared that she was described as and told she had hard edges. I thought about this statement for myself and my life. I’ve been told that I can be pushy. I came to the conclusion that if you’re a forward-thinking chick who has the potential for success or to make a difference, you’re a strong woman. You’ve probably heard that statement or experienced a similar description of yourself. And, if you’re a man reading this, you might’ve referred to a woman or two with some negative connotation (not all men, but some); you know who you are. Furthermore, if you’re a woman who does her job and has at least one ounce of passion, I’m sure you’ve heard something distasteful said about you. Maybe you’ve even been called a bitch, if not to your face, definitely behind your back.

Jennifer is hardworking, wise, and knows how to play the game of corporate life. She takes criticism and feedback constructively and uses it as food for her soul and as an opportunity to grow, no matter how challenging or difficult it may seem. She addresses criticism in a way where she finds value in it and allows it to move her forward and not take her out of her game.

My takeaway from Jennifer’s talk was: surround yourself with trusted colleagues and create a strong network of people you trust. Create relationships with human resources; make them your partners.

Jennifer Risi, to me, is passion, creativity, and integrity. She owns her voice, creates her value, speaks her truth and lives life her way.

Love yourself! Until next time!

Calling in the One Unapologetically

 

Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU) is an event for people who want to expand their capacity to give and receive love in all areas of their life.

It is a 9-week workshop that is held every Thursday at 7:00-9:00 pm.  It is for people who are frustrated and stymied by relationships and would like some help with it. CITOU is an opportunity focus attention on the areas you need.

In CITOU  you will take responsibility for clearing away obstacles that have been holding you back, transform your mindset and have your inner self-match up with your outer self. Rid yourself of those things that have been holding you back from expressing yourself and creating the life to bring in the perfect partner for you.  In CITOU you will become a creator instead of a reactor you will use your imagination to create your personal reality instead of using it to escape from Reality. CITOU is truly wonderful, conducted with amazing teamwork and exciting experience You will want to think about your life, love, and choices. For further information contact 917-945-5907. This workshop is a coed space and it is gender and sexual preference safe. It is a space to grow, share and develop.

Class begins Feb 22 and ends April 19

Early Bird pricing ends Jan 31: $497

Standard Registration: $997

 

Register now





My Perfect Client

  1. My clients inspire me to do great work, and, in turn, they produce great results.
  2. I have high expectations for my clients, and I’m hardcore with them.  I don’t baby them.  
  3. When clients reach their goals, I help them go beyond their potential.  (If Richard Branson didn’t go beyond his potential, he would’ve gone down with Virgin Records.)
  4. My fees inspire clients to invest in themselves so they know their value and know how much they’re worth.
  5. My clients develop confidence and are never lonely at the top of their game. They ask for what they want.  Their energy is abundant, and people want to be around them.
  6. I turn up the heat by asking thought-provoking questions that top performers crave and dig deep to get answers that help my clients meet their desired goals.
  7. I work with interesting, extraordinary people who are committed to being happy in their life.  This is my goal.
  8. I build trust, take risks, make bold requests, lead (powerfully), hide nothing, and hold nothing back.

Connect with me if you are ready to own your voice, speak your truth, and Live Life Your Way!

Let’s Go Beyond Potential!

Love,

Noreen

Focus on what you can achieve. You are human, and you can have whatever you want.  Look at your life and notice that everything you’ve got, you’ve created. All of it.  The things that work and the things that don’t. If the things in your life aren’t serving you, start the change process by owning your voice, speaking your truth and living life your way.  

If you believe you can, you will. Furthermore, it’s none of your business what people think about you. Teachers, parents, and friends say terrible things when we’re young and those words, if you believe them, will crush your spirit.  Don’t let them.  

 

2018 Made Me Polar Bear Dive!

On January 1, 2018, I became an honorary Polar Bear. I took the plunge at Coney Island Beach and the temperature that day was 8˚ F when I woke up and 17˚ F when I jumped in! It was something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time and this year I was READY!

Every year, for about 20 years, I’d thought about it and saw myself doing it and, finally, on January 1st, 2018, I made it official! The coldest part of my body were my toes.  However, I lucked out with the strangers I choose to jump in the water with.  One of my fellow plungers owns or works at a bar called Rudy’s on the boardwalk near where we plunged. Shout out to them!  After the plunge, they provided nice warm water for my toes to defrost in.  Now I know why people lose their toes when exposed to cold weather for an extended period of time!

Like certain things in life, we can make up stories about how it’s going to be, however, once we make the decision to do it, we might as well give up thinking about how it’s gonna go.  We won’t know until we do it.  That’s what it was like with the Polar Bear Plunge.  I made up all these stories about me freezing to death. While signing the disclosure form, I had thoughts of me having all the reactions on the list – dizziness, heart attack, seizures, the works. I totally thought I would be done for.  

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions; the problem with New Year’s resolutions is that a goal for the end of the year can be so far away that days, weeks, and months pass by because there’s always the feeling “I can always start tomorrow…” and you do nothing to further along your goal(s)!

On top of that, if you’re working on the same goal every single day for a year, that’s a whole lotta willpower you’ve got to call on! Willpower doesn’t work.  That’s why I said that I would do the Polar Bear Plunge, put it in my calendar, told my fellow community members so they would hold me accountable for it, and did it. Period.

I’m not going to lie, I was afraid.  Being honest about my feelings gave me the ease I needed to do it and I’m thrilled I did! It showed me another side of myself and how truly courageous I am. I look forward to a FANTASTIC 2018.  

What are you creating for yourself this year?  Who will you be, what will you do and what will December 31, 2018 have in store for you? Thank you for your support in 2017 and I look forward to a powerful 2018.  If you require support in 2018 to reach your goals, hit me up – let’s make your dreams happen.  

www.noreensumptercoach.com

Love yourself! Until next time!

 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…for me!

It’s really the most wonderful time of the year – for me! The holidays are here! Grammarly says that “wonderful” is an overused word, but, who cares – it just shows people are overwhelmingly happy! It’s also the most beautiful time of the year. I’m sitting here thinking about what to share regarding Christmas (the holiday I celebrate) and what to say in my blog, and I’m having a difficult time putting my happy feelings into words. I have a warm, fuzzy feeling in my solar plexus area, and I’m having trouble expressing it. It’s a squeal. It’s a feeling of having your arms wide open. It sounds like children giggling and wrinkling their faces. I can’t wrinkle my face because I’ll get wrinkles. Lol just kidding.

My year has been great; I grew tremendously. It’s strange that I didn’t notice my growth. I was feeling it, but I couldn’t see it, and then, all of a sudden, it was clear, not just in the realm of money but in the quality of my life and the relationships I have with people. The people I know are also the quietness of my soul. I’ve met some wonderful, amazing people this year and, as a result, my coaching skills have grown exponentially. I have fantastic clients who are achieving their goals and winning at their life games. I’m so happy with my purpose, my career choice. I’m not just The Potentiator and a Personal Life Coach. I help people go beyond their potential, and I love my job more and more every moment of every day because of what I do. I could flip right now!

I am “Live Life Your Way” because it’s my truth. I’m living my life and having a great time.

In the middle of this year, I started my own Radio Show, Beyond Potential, Live Life Your Way, featured on www.talkradio.nyc (check it out!). I’m so happy about it, and it’s going well. And, last month I was offered my own local access cable show in Manhattan, NY, for which I just filmed three episodes. Wow wee – I’m on a roll!

I saw my generosity and the generosity of others expand and show up in ways that I’ve never received before. I shared 10s of 1000s of dollars in referrals in my various networking groups. I was voted President of Business Referral Group No. 3 (BRG3) of the Manhattan Chamber of Commerce where I’m an Ambassador. I was invited by people whom I respect, and that respect me, to share my advice and opinions. I’ve hobnobbed with all kinds of people, and I’ve had tremendous fun. I love hobnobbing. I’ve had volunteers share their time and talents with me to further my success and their own.

In 2017, I made my #1 goal in life to be happy, no matter what. I choose to be happy and satisfied in my life, and it’s showed up in ways beyond my imagination. No matter how much or how little I have, no matter who loves me or doesn’t, this goal has kept me grounded and continues to keep me grounded everyday.

Looking forward to 2018, I request trying on for size the following things. (If they do not fit. toss them out.)

  • You are the most important person in your life.
  • Always be yourself.
  • Find and stay in touch with your personal definition of happy.
  • Believe in yourself and your dreams.
  • Change is constant; be the change you want to see in your life.
  • Make love an ingredient in everything you do.
  • Be the author of your life.

I wish you the happiest of holidays!

Are you ready to let 2017 go and ring in a brighter, happier, and healthier 2018? If so, look no further than joining me for my event, The Big Release, at Pearl Studios in New York, NY, on December 30 from 3:00 – 6:30 PM. For more information and to sign up, visit www.noreensumpercoach.com/thebigrelease2018 and don’t miss out on early bird pricing until December 23! Looking forward to meeting you!

Love yourself! Until next time!

Transformation equals change and it’s happening now

It’s almost the end of the year. What side of the stick do you want to hold on to- the “2017 – wow, what a ride – I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for me!” stick or the “oh my God, I did nothing, changed nothing, and I’m in the same boat as I was in 2016” stick? This time of year for some people is the most loving, and, for some, it’s the most crippling and is when their world seem to fall apart.

This is the time of year when most people spend their time celebrating with family and friends in a festive spirit. However, for some this is when they go into hiding mentally and physically. I’m not sure if it’s true or false, but some say suicide increases during the holiday season. What I ask is that we look out for each other.

Also, most will say that 2017, like most other years, has gone by very fast. I don’t believe this for myself. I think it’s gone at an even pace. I’ve had a great year and worked smart, met some great people, and had a tremendous amount of fun and success. People, 2018 is a jaunt around the corner. It’s time for a transformation which simply means change. My life’s going to change because I’m going to apply everything I learned in 2017 to get a fierce head start on 2018.

What are you going to do? Are you going to apply what you learned in 2017 to 2018, or are you going to be one of those people who did all kinds of classes, seminars, training and still nothing changes in your life? What I’ve found is that we yearn for new and different and yet remain in the same old patterns.

Listen up! The new year is coming. Be bold and take a step in a new direction – take a course or read a new book to transform your life in 2018. Transformation calls for a commitment to something that is uniquely different in your life.

Need a bit of help letting go of 2017 and starting fresh in 2018? Don’t fret! I’ve got just the thing! Join me for The Big Release – an event I’m hosting on December 30th to help you let go of things and situations that didn’t serve you in 2017 and begin your journey into 2018 with a new perspective! Visit www.noreensumptercoach.com/thebigrelease2018 and sign up before December 23 for early bird pricing!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is a day for giving thanks.  I woke from my bed this morning feeling emotional and challenged. During my daily practice of gratitude, I thought about Thanksgiving.  In that moment, I chose to see Thanksgiving for what it means to me.  

I’m not American, and I often forget about Thanksgiving until the week before. However, I see my gratitude for my life in all its iterations, whether in its present state of being up or down, life going the way I want or not. No matter what, I’m grateful.

I’m grateful for the fantastic opportunities I’ve had this year. Thankful for love, for being in a relationship, which at times was beautiful and other times not.  Grateful for learning to keep my heart open when at times I wanted to put it in a vault, slam the door, and keep it there.

I’m grateful for having the opportunity to expand my capacity to give and receive love and be open in ways that I never thought possible.  

I’m grateful to have loved people who have not always enjoyed my friendship the way I wanted, yet accepting that they loved me the way they could. (I’ve been that person; now I have a view from both sides). I’m thankful for my family and for my brothers, even though their love is distant and may appear cold.

I’m grateful for the people and friendships that are no longer physically present in my life- friends who have supported me with my dreams no matter what. When times were not so good or great, you were not forgotten and the memories we created will always live in my cells – for they have helped me grow into the person that I am today.

I’m grateful for my health, for my inner strength to manage, accept, and control my diabetes, for being able to make myself right whereas before I would have trashed myself for failing and given up altogether.  

I’m grateful for my amazing clients who provide me with financial security, for their love and their families, taking themselves on in ways that have empowered them and the people around them to be open and live in the unlived parts of their lives.  I’m grateful to have a career that I’m in love with and to be appreciated by clients, old and new, as well as the ones that I haven’t met yet.  

I’m grateful to know love and to receive love; it must be given with no thought of its return. Love is my gift for which no return is demanded.

I’m grateful for my economic challenges, for learning and putting into practice the understanding that money is a means to acquire goods and services and not an actual measure of my worth.

I’m grateful for all the books that I’ve read and for the authors, teachers, lovers, and friends who contributed to my dreams for if my dreams didn’t manifest, I wouldn’t expand.

Giving thanks. I give thanks for the power to love, think, laugh, imagine, create, plan, and speak.  I give thanks for honoring my gifts.  I can choose to cry for unfulfilled dreams, let failure beat me down or let circumstances trample my self-esteem and sacrifice my potential for the illusion of security, but I choose not to. I honor my individuality. Thank you for my humanity and the humanity of us all on this planet.  

This Thanksgiving, find one thing you can authentically be thankful for and share it with another soul.

Not sure what you’re thankful for? Reach out to me, and we can talk about it! Visit my website www.noreensumptercoach.com and make an appointment for a FREE 15 minute call and I’m positive we’ll find plenty of things to be grateful for!

Love yourself! Until next time!

Noreen Sumpter | The Potentiator |

Personal Life Coach

Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself

People who are angry often lose sight of why they were offended in the first place; all they know is that they’re right and the other person is wrong. Being right makes the person angry and he/she goes around making everyone else angry. Learning to understand yourself and forgive provides the tools to understand what it feels like to forgive. Forgiveness is like a much needed refreshing drink on a scorching, hot day. After the first mouthful, you feel refreshed, and any pain you might’ve been experiencing is washed away. There’s no room to continue with one’s life in this way. I’ve definitely experienced forgiveness.

Here’s a list of things you and I may have experienced (that others have done to us or that we’ve done to others), that make us crave forgiveness:

Affairs
Criticism
Denigration
Being gossipped about
Pain
Abuse
Mistreatment
Cruelty
Violence
Exploitation
Misuse
Neglect
Disrespect
Dishonor
Fear

Words, like violence, hurt and leave memories and painful scars which causes and creates vengeance. Vengeance, like a disease, without a cure, is transmitted to others.

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving doesn’t minimize or justify the act; it just releases the hurt that the past holds on you. I heard Oprah say many years ago on her show, that “forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.” If you can’t forgive, you’re the one that’s left with the pain. You must learn to let go of the ill feelings of anger, hurt, and upset. Forgiveness unties your heart and frees you up. Forgiveness lives in the past. Every time you remember what happened, you relive the experience and it brings it back to the present moment. Forgiveness allows you the opportunity of staying in the present; providing you with empathy and compassion from the perceived wrongdoing.

We get hurt, and it’s usually by the people we love and are closest to because they’re the ones we’ve let into our lives. Family and friends can be the ones that abuse, betray, reject, and insult us and they’re the ones that we never expect to treat us this way. People we let into our hearts and homes do things we may might not like and we suffer instead of speaking out and honoring ourselves. Most of the time we’re mad at ourselves because we didn’t honor ourselves or speak up. We feel bad, and like I said before, it becomes like a disease because it’s a negative experience which affects our feelings.

If negative incidents are not handled immediately, they begin to grow bigger and fester, fill with the pollution of resentment, killing off any positive feelings, and becoming a blight in your existence. The resentment quickly immerses into bitterness and continues to kill off any positive feelings surrounding the person that’s wronged you. You can’t face the person and you find yourself having difficulty with this relationship and you begin to have trouble communicating. You become sensitive to the thought of any perceived insult, hurt, or conflict. Your sense of reality can become distorted. The continuance of you holding onto your pain and immersing yourself in suffering becomes a hefty price to pay.

You eventually begin to bring pain into every relationship (new and old) by repeating your story about what happened over and over again, reliving it over and over as if it happened yesterday. You are continually slicing the perceived wound open, never treating or giving it time to heal. It then becomes a part of you, and it does not need to be.

With forgiveness, we never have to identify with hurt or anger, it’s just knowing that what happened was not a good experience. Forgiveness is an act that one has to be consistent with. In the Bible, it says that, “we have to forgive 7×70.” It’s something we have to learn and acknowledge, or we will become victims of the circumstance. We have to learn to forgive our own mistakes, and with that, we learn to forgive ourselves and, in turn, we can forgive others. We have to forgive 7X70 which is 490 times. When you forgive yourself or another person, the feelings of upset, disappointment, and angriness vanish.

When I haven’t completed an experience and forgiven it, I’ve either felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach or I’ve felt uncomfortable because the past keeps rearing its ugly head and the anger, like acid, runs through my stomach and wants to come up. My mind goes into fight or flight mode which is how I know I haven’t forgiven the person. Truthfully, I’m suffering because I’m allowing the past to take hold of me. That’s when I realize I have to forgive again. The moment I gave up the anger and forgave, I was free. Free to honor myself and the person I was angry with. Some of us are good at holding onto the pain, holding on to malice from now until eternity. Anger is a feeling of being violated; our boundaries have been broken. We have to do the inner work, or we will be stuck with repressed feelings, live in denial, and we won’t feel good. When we forgive, our hearts expand and our feelings become whole, complete, and perfect. In turn, we feel honest and our giving of forgiveness becomes organic. There is space where there was none. You have to put yourself and your boundaries back together. Forgiveness helps you do that. It hurts and is a drain on your being to live in a closed-off space.

It’s good to feel the anger, be with it, not repress it, and allow it to take you over. Anger has information for us if we are willing to be with it and listen. We have to feel our anger and feel out the information it has for us. Anger is usually telling you that you have not taken care of yourself, and it’s time to take care of the wrong you feel. Put the integrity back in.

When you’re angry, ask yourself these questions to allow you to begin to get to a point of forgiveness:

Who are you angry at?
Why are you angry at him/her/them?
What boundaries do you feel he/she/they have violated?
How long have you been angry with him/her/them?
When will you give it up?
What actions do you have to take to give it up?
What promises will you make to yourself to begin the forgiveness process?

Are you angry and in need of forgiveness of yourself and others but don’t know how to begin the process? You can always reach out to me by visiting my website, www.noreensumptercoach.com and sign up for my FREE 15-minute Hello Call. What are you waiting for? Begin the forgiving and healing process NOW!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Are You Sexy?

Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips? It’s a lot – and you might think it’s a crazy thing to think about. Whatever this question triggers, I want you to think about it and let it massage your mind. Then answer the question honestly. Do you think you’re sexy? And, who do you think you are? These questions are meant to be taken in a positive way without judgement and tone. What I mean is, who am I speaking to? Who are you intuitively? Do you have the confidence to say you’re sexy proudly?  Is who you are so clear you don’t have to say anything? If you’re confident about your sexuality, it’ll be clear to everyone and it will get reverberated back at you in your world.

Here’s another question for you – have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you’re feeling so sexy you hear it whispered in the wind?  It’s just who you are at that present instance.  You know you’re the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips. You’re sexy.  And, you get to say it and feel it for yourself.  

So again, who you think you are can be translated to read, me for example: I’m a woman, I’m black, I’m tall, I’m English, I’m a Confidence and Self-esteem Coach, I’m the daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson, I’m 5’8”.  Who do you think you are has nothing to do with that.  It’s important for you to know exactly who you are from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. You don’t need anyone telling you what or who you are.  That’s the kind of “who do you think you are?” that I’m  interested in. However, that’s not to say that those descriptions aren’t interesting.  They’re the kinds of facts you share with people when you first meet them.  Somewhat boring and mundane; not the “meat and potatoes” of who you are facts.

What makes you sexy, the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips? If you can’t answer this question truthfully for yourself, you might have an issue with sexiness. If you think the statement is presumptuous, consider you might have an issue with being sexy. If you agree with this statement, good for you! What is it that makes some people appear sexy and attractive and others not? Is it confidence?  Is it feeling good about themselves?  Or are they just plain ole sexy?  Do you think you’re sexy? And, if so, what’s sexy about you? After all, it’s how you feel about yourself.

Sexy has come a long way.  Back in the 1930s, ankles were considered sexy.  In some cases, women would be hidden by a long curtain where only the ankles were exposed, and, of course, they would be judged by men.  There was a time when women’s bodies were covered pretty much from head to toe.  Women went swimming in long dresses, and sometimes, in pants, tights, and dresses, where every part of the body was covered.

However, a breakthrough was made when, in 1907, Annette Kellerman, a woman who dared to wear her short one-piece swimsuit (bodysuit) for a swimming competition in Boston, was arrested for indecent exposure. Annette faced a judge for her arrest and the judge who tried her case agreed that the suits at the time were cumbersome and not good for exercise.  Because of the verdict, Annette Kellerman went on to design bathing suits that were more adequate for swimming, but they took a decade to catch on.

Women’s clothes have come a long way where now we’re showing a lot of flesh and modesty, is, for the most part, a thing of the past.  Today, we wear less and less clothing and expose more and more of our bodies and share less and less of who we are as human beings.  Confidence is the new black. Confidence is being able to stand up for what you believe in. Sexy, for me, is being confident, honoring your word and believing that you love your life and you love yourself.  Sexy is saying that you do what you say you will.  Being sexy is not the only thing that creates a good relationship with yourself or others.  Sexy is a word that’s used for a lot of ideas and representations, e.g. that’s a sexy job, that’s a sexy car, etc. Today, I think sexy is relative; you’ll see what we would deem a beautiful woman walking down the street with what would be deemed an unattractive man and they’re happy.  You, in turn, would see a man that looks like a God walking down the street with a woman who’s considered overweight and unattractive, and, in both cases, people would ask what’s up with that.  Beauty and sexiness are in the eye of the beholder.  Sexy is someone who gets you because you get yourself.  Sexy is a reflection of your confidence; someone you can hold a wonderful conversation and communicate with well.  

Today, you get to say what is sexy for you.  It’s none of your business what people or the media says about you as a person.  Your way of being is sexy.  Size, shape, or form has nothing to do with what sexy is for you.  I think what’s considered sexy in popular magazines is out of date.  They’re not marketing to the masses; they’re marketing to a few demographics that might not have as much confidence due to age and where they are in the world.  I believe confidence and sexy go hand-in-hand, and when you have confidence, you’re sexy.  When you walk into a room and you light up the place with your confidence, you’re sexy.  When you’re a pleasure to be around, you’re sexy.  When people have crushes on you because you bring the love and light and you create a space that people love to be around, you’re sexy.  

Little back story. I went out with a male friend. When I got in his car, he said to me, “You look sexy tonight.”  I replied, “Thank you. Just tonight? Honey, I’m sexy all the time.” He said, “who told you that?” I replied, “I did.” He then said, “You’re not sexy until I tell you you are.”  I laughed.  I also told him, “I’m like a self-cleaning oven. I create the sexy that I am.  It’s called confidence and love of self.”

Sexy is made up of the following:

  • It’s sexy to know what it is that you love about your life and that you can speak up for it.  No matter what it is you love.  It yours; you honor it and that is sexy.  
  • Passion is sexy.  Knowing what you’re passionate about and being able to share your passion without forcing it upon people; sharing it as joy and excitement is a very sexy thing
  • Being able to know what your interests are and being able to share them is also very sexy  

What are you proud of? You have to feel proud of yourself and that you’re happy with your life.  Your happiness is contagious.  You can be proud that you keep even the smallest promise.  You’re happy and know that people are motivated by people they trust; that in itself is sexy. You know that you’re the kind of person that people can count on.  

To that end, it’s important you create yourself the way you see yourself.  That you’re sexy and confident or confident and sexy; the order doesn’t matter.  Don’t allow others to determine who you are.  The way you feel about yourself speaks volumes.  When you’re happy about yourself and you can go from good to great about yourself and people know, like, and trust you, you can become whoever you say you are.

So I ask this question again.  Are you sexy?  The answer is HELL YEAH!

Not sure if you’re sexy or not? Talk to me and we can see why you don’t feel sexy. Visit www.noreensumptercoach.com to sign up for a FREE 15-minute Hello Call!

Love yourself. Until next time!

Live Life by Your Own Design, Pt. 2

Hello Friends! Welcome to Part 2 of the list of 13 ways to Life Life Your Way™. This will continue to put things into perspective and help you live the large life you desire.

  1. Make your appearance your own

Make sure you like what you wear, have your own personal style, and look the way you want. You don’t have to have the latest fashions but it’s good to have your own look that’s unique to you.  

With regard to your body and your clothes, do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms or legs do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them? If so, work on them or shut up! You’re in charge of what you look like. If you don’t feel great in your body, exercise and eat healthier to keep yourself in shape.

Your style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Generate your energy. Mousiness will never look great; even in the best of clothes. For example, you could go out wearing sweatpants and give an air of confidence while wearing them because you feel confident, not because you’re trying to hide something about yourself.  

When you go out to shop, make sure you shop for what you really like; bring a trusted friend who can share with you his/her honest opinions about how you look.  The ultimate truth is – if you’re confident in your image, you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

 

  1. Create a go-to Group

Create a go-to group. A go-to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust; friends that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you, they create a bigger stand for you in your life and they’ve got your back. They’ll remind you gently when you need a good shake up.  

If you can’t afford a coach, a go-to group is perfect.  Your group must not oach you or tell you what to do; what they’ll do is remind you who you are and the commitment and goals that you’re creating for your life.  They’ll provide you with pep talks and reality checks.

Also, make sure you’re a positive contributor to your go-to group to continue the circle of positivity.

 

  1. Do something silly that makes you laugh until your tummy hurts

Go and see a really silly movie – there are a ton of them out there! When you go to a silly movie, you should laugh naturally, what I mean by naturally is at your own noise level and length of time. Be you; don’t go to the movie and do what everyone does – the movie laugh track, when everyone starts laughing at the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.

I went to the movies on a date with a guy.  We went to see Fat Albert http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fat+albert+movie&view=detail&mid=B326DD89B259A34501CFB326DD89B259A34501CF&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR&qpvt=fat+albert+movie  The movie was so corny! It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, my date said aloud, “Note to self – never take you to see a movie again.” Ask me if I cared.  

I feel that laughing at a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the big screen. I had a great time and felt completely free! Laughing makes you feel better and is good for you. Laugh often and laugh loud –  it’s contagious! Make and share jokes, engage your peeps, and laugh at lot. Every time you laugh, a comedian get his chops. LOL!

 

  1. Be emotionally okay

Be okay with your emotions; you have emotions so you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you’re sad, express it, however, express it in a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  

Don’t go digging for sadness; don’t go dredging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Don’t blame other people for your sadness, your need to cry, or for your crying.  

If you’re stressed out, look at what’s causing the stress and create new actions to relieve it.  Stress is a big killer and I’m sure you don’t want to die or suffer stress-induced illness.  Don’t cover your emotions, express them. Release all emotions, frustrations, and anger in a healthy and responsible way.  You’ll feel so much better after the release.

 

  1. Write things down

Conversations and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little notebook and any time you have a great idea, learn something valuable from a conversation you’re having, or go to a yummy restaurant, write it down. Because let’s be honest, you live a big life, you have tons sitting in your brain, and you won’t remember. Save your brain cells!

Also, when you whip out your little book in front of a loved one, you’re actually telling that person that what they’re saying is valuable enough to write down and you make him/her feel special.

 

  1. Accept yourself as you are

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and love yourself every moment.  Don’t think about things that you haven’t achieved yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You’re very different and unique from everyone else. You’re one-of-a-kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness; your path is different from everyone else’s.  

Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself, you stand in the way of your self-love and you separate yourself from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You don’t have to change anything about yourself.

Now go out there with the advice from this two-paper series and start living your biggest and best life!

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with to help you start your journey towards your best self! Love yourself! Until next time!

Live Life by Your Own Design, Pt 1

The truth is you’ll always have time for busy; do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on, especially if you’re a person that wants a huge life. There will always be a situation where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out. I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work. You’ll have a medical emergency. You’ll feel guilty about what you did last night, last week, and last year. The world, hell, the Universe will be screaming for your attention! This blog is a two-part series that includes a list of 13 ways to Live Life Your Way™ and live by your own design. In the first part, we will break down the first 7:

1. NO is what you say to anything that isn’t important to you
Laundry isn’t important to me. Having clean clothes is what’s important, and I don’t have to do it. I can give it to someone else to do for me, and I can use the time saved to do something else for myself. If “no” is too hard for you to say, start simple by saying “no” but offer an alternative option that you’d prefer more.

2. Ask for Help
Asking for help is really important. A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help. Does this sound like you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask, make sure you use it. Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then don’t use it. Most people revel in seeing you become successful and happy; it makes them feel useful and important. But also remember that people have the right to say yes or no when asked for help. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make; it’s not your position to choose for them. Don’t underestimate people and try to take advantage of them in a negative way. You’ll turn them off, and they’ll never agree to help you again.

3. Stay in contact
It’s important to stay in contact with your friends. People like to be acknowledged and feel like their friendships are important. There are 6+ billion people on the planet, and if you feel like you have no friends and no one loves you, then you know that you’re not being a good friend. You need to express love and share love. Love is addictive. Giving love and expressing love feels good. Try it. Send a text, email, or make a quick call to let someone know you’re thinking of them; it’ll make a world of difference to your friend. Try this on for size – send out “I was thinking about you” messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. It’s not weird. I’m doing five right now. Stop what you’re doing and just do it. The first five people in your phone to start. I just sent out eight instead of five and got three responses already in eight minutes! Generally, the people you keep in your phone are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone; most will be okay with it. However, keep in touch with people as best as you can – it will keep you happy and keep you inspired in your life.

4. Surround yourself with things you like
Surround yourself with things you enjoy or like. Don’t buy or bring into your emotional space things you don’t enjoy or like as they will pull emotional energy from you. When you’re in a dumpy mood or have low energy, having things around you that you enjoy can cheer you up and bring up your energy levels. For example, the social media platform, Pinterest, is an awesome mood booster, and you can view it on your computer or phone when you need a pick-me-up or a little inspiration.

5. Create a Gratitude List
I usually provide this as a tool to my clients. At first, they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do; another chore in a list of things I don’t have time for. Once they start it, they realize that when they’re grateful about what they have in their lives, they don’t have time to whine about the things they don’t have.

Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences, whether you have a tendency to make negative decisions or have negative people around you. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work through our subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. Create a daily gratitude list – one where you share back and forth with like-minded friends who will empower you; creating dialogue instead of monologue – where negative thoughts don’t have a chance to pollute your mind. Gratitude has the power to move you forward.

Keep a gratitude journal that you can go back to whenever you need a little boost. My clients who keep a gratitude journal and write in it on a continual basis experience a fuller and more expansive life and see their goals develop faster.

6. Keep a planner to stay organized
Keeping a planner makes life less crazy. It’s good practice to put all the things that are important to you into it, including all things fun! Many people put in doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and children’s play dates, but they don’t really schedule time for fun. Get into the habit of adding fun time to your planner. It’s a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you’ve scheduled time for vacation, but it’s also great to see that you’ve scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. Balance your time and give yourself the right to say “no thank you” to an appointment you don’t have time for or don’t want to have.

7. Keep track of your wins
Write down your wins and keep notes on your achievements. For example, I got a write up in an online magazine http://www.t2conline.com/a-call-for-coaching – that’s a big win for me so I wrote it down. If I hadn’t written it down, I wouldn’t have remembered it. Writing down your wins, achievements, and milestones will help you when you feel that you’ve hit a wall in your personal life and allow you to see your positive contributions.

If you need help with any of the points on this list, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at noreensumptercoach.com to make an appointment for a FREE 15-minute hello call! I’m looking forward to speaking with you and helping you start your journey towards your best self! Don’t forget to check back next week for Part 2 where we will cover points 8-13! Love yourself! Until next time!

What People Say About You is None of Your Business

Each and every one of us was put on this earth to do something. It doesn’t have to be saving the world; you don’t have to find a cure for cancer, you just have to know what it is you want for yourself and your life. So it is your birthright to get on with it.

Many people fear what they want to do; they believe that one is really happy in their life when happiness is measured by a percentage of about 75-90%. They’re afraid of what people will think of them. They have no idea what their life could look like if they had the whole 100% happiness they are seeking. So they live their lives doing what they think their friends and families want them to do. No going after what they want because they are afraid of what their parents, family, friends, and even strangers might think of them. They do things to please other people and neglect themselves. They have careers they don’t want and are miserable with the other 10%.

Do what you want to do and be truly happy. Who cares what people think of you. It’s no one’s business what you choose to do. Make sure that what you do is as great as you believe it to be; no one has to agree or disagree with it. Just be committed to providing a contribution and your happiness is already fulfilled. The truth is that people think all sorts of things and very few of those thoughts will be about you.

Discovery

What I’ve discovered is that most people want to make a contribution to others. It’s always described as, “I want to help people. I want to teach people and I want to make people happy.” It’s always for other people. It’s important that we understand what we share. In order to share, we have to have. So to give happy, you must be happy so you can share happy.

Sitting & Listening

I had the pleasure of sitting for an artist who is unbelievably exciting! The artist is a woman, in her sixties, who paints men and women in the nude. Being painted in the nude is the epitome of full disclosure. When I met this extremely talented woman, she was feeling very unhappy, unproductive, and stuck. I listened to her talk about her life and her art and it all sounded very exciting to me.

She spoke of herself as a woman that had marched to the beat of her own drum; lived a life filled with passion and pleasure and has made a contribution with her art to heal people and free them from their self loathing issues, caused by various negative experiences.

As she described how she was feeling, she was able to discover that her unhappiness was caused by a belief. The belief was what a friend and colleague had once said about her who she highly respected. Basically, she didn’t allow this person to have an opinion. She realized that what her colleague had said about her work was none of his business and she, unfortunately, had believed his opinion to be her truth.

In a single moment, this woman, like many others, was killing herself off. She wasn’t being an artist; she wasn’t being successful or vibrant. She became doubtful, fearful, scared, and wasn’t minding her own business. By not minding her own business, she was minding the business of her friend that she had allowed to hex her. This hexing had ripped the passion out of her life and was robbing her of her vibrancy on a moment-to-moment basis. She felt that she couldn’t paint. That her creativity was gone. She was lost and slowly going into energy and financial bankruptcy. How can a woman that had had a vibrant life all of a sudden have a sense of loss and lose her creativity? Well, when you don’t mind your business closely, you allow other people’s thoughts and opinions rob you of your passion. If hexing someone was a crime, many people would be found guilty.

You don’t want people you love and respect to say anything to you that appears negative. However, people, just like you, have the right to say anything they want and you also have the right to listen or not. Where you get caught and hooked is when people say negative things about you. Simple example: Your friend says, “ I don’t like that painting.” You interpret it as, “I’m not a good artist,” and, “I can’t create,” and it goes on and on. So now you walk around with that belief. “I’m not a good artist,” “I can’t paint,” “I have no creativity,” and, “no one will buy my work”. The belief gets bigger and bigger and you, in turn, get smaller and smaller; you begin to feel insecure and shut down.

It’s important to learn that what people say is none of your business. Your business is your life, your own thoughts about yourself. It’s important that you develop the tools to expand your thoughts about you. It’s important that you remain positive and understand that these sorts of statements/comments are not personal to you. That is what happened with this woman. She forgot who or what she was up to in her life. She forgot that art inspired her life and the life of the people who bought her art. She forgot that she had a mission; her, in her world, and that, and only that, was her business.

When we learn that it’s none of your business what others say or think about you, you can say thank you for your opinion and mean it. Your life expands and you go back to the business of fulfilling our life mission.

The learning is: IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT OTHERS THINK.

If you need a little guidance when it comes to working on minding your own business, don’t forget you can sign on to my website, www.noreensumptercoach.com to schedule a FREE 15 minute Hello Call at anytime.

Love yourself. Until next time!