Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips? It’s a lot – and you might think it’s a crazy thing to think about. Whatever this question triggers, I want you to think about it and let it massage your mind. Then answer the question honestly. Do you think you’re sexy? And, who do you think you are? These questions are meant to be taken in a positive way without judgement and tone. What I mean is, who am I speaking to? Who are you intuitively? Do you have the confidence to say you’re sexy proudly?  Is who you are so clear you don’t have to say anything? If you’re confident about your sexuality, it’ll be clear to everyone and it will get reverberated back at you in your world.

Here’s another question for you – have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you’re feeling so sexy you hear it whispered in the wind?  It’s just who you are at that present instance.  You know you’re the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips. You’re sexy.  And, you get to say it and feel it for yourself.  

So again, who you think you are can be translated to read, me for example: I’m a woman, I’m black, I’m tall, I’m English, I’m a Confidence and Self-esteem Coach, I’m the daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson, I’m 5’8”.  Who do you think you are has nothing to do with that.  It’s important for you to know exactly who you are from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. You don’t need anyone telling you what or who you are.  That’s the kind of “who do you think you are?” that I’m  interested in. However, that’s not to say that those descriptions aren’t interesting.  They’re the kinds of facts you share with people when you first meet them.  Somewhat boring and mundane; not the “meat and potatoes” of who you are facts.

What makes you sexy, the cat’s meow, all that, and a bag of chips? If you can’t answer this question truthfully for yourself, you might have an issue with sexiness. If you think the statement is presumptuous, consider you might have an issue with being sexy. If you agree with this statement, good for you! What is it that makes some people appear sexy and attractive and others not? Is it confidence?  Is it feeling good about themselves?  Or are they just plain ole sexy?  Do you think you’re sexy? And, if so, what’s sexy about you? After all, it’s how you feel about yourself.

Sexy has come a long way.  Back in the 1930s, ankles were considered sexy.  In some cases, women would be hidden by a long curtain where only the ankles were exposed, and, of course, they would be judged by men.  There was a time when women’s bodies were covered pretty much from head to toe.  Women went swimming in long dresses, and sometimes, in pants, tights, and dresses, where every part of the body was covered.

However, a breakthrough was made when, in 1907, Annette Kellerman, a woman who dared to wear her short one-piece swimsuit (bodysuit) for a swimming competition in Boston, was arrested for indecent exposure. Annette faced a judge for her arrest and the judge who tried her case agreed that the suits at the time were cumbersome and not good for exercise.  Because of the verdict, Annette Kellerman went on to design bathing suits that were more adequate for swimming, but they took a decade to catch on.

Women’s clothes have come a long way where now we’re showing a lot of flesh and modesty, is, for the most part, a thing of the past.  Today, we wear less and less clothing and expose more and more of our bodies and share less and less of who we are as human beings.  Confidence is the new black. Confidence is being able to stand up for what you believe in. Sexy, for me, is being confident, honoring your word and believing that you love your life and you love yourself.  Sexy is saying that you do what you say you will.  Being sexy is not the only thing that creates a good relationship with yourself or others.  Sexy is a word that’s used for a lot of ideas and representations, e.g. that’s a sexy job, that’s a sexy car, etc. Today, I think sexy is relative; you’ll see what we would deem a beautiful woman walking down the street with what would be deemed an unattractive man and they’re happy.  You, in turn, would see a man that looks like a God walking down the street with a woman who’s considered overweight and unattractive, and, in both cases, people would ask what’s up with that.  Beauty and sexiness are in the eye of the beholder.  Sexy is someone who gets you because you get yourself.  Sexy is a reflection of your confidence; someone you can hold a wonderful conversation and communicate with well.  

Today, you get to say what is sexy for you.  It’s none of your business what people or the media says about you as a person.  Your way of being is sexy.  Size, shape, or form has nothing to do with what sexy is for you.  I think what’s considered sexy in popular magazines is out of date.  They’re not marketing to the masses; they’re marketing to a few demographics that might not have as much confidence due to age and where they are in the world.  I believe confidence and sexy go hand-in-hand, and when you have confidence, you’re sexy.  When you walk into a room and you light up the place with your confidence, you’re sexy.  When you’re a pleasure to be around, you’re sexy.  When people have crushes on you because you bring the love and light and you create a space that people love to be around, you’re sexy.  

Little back story. I went out with a male friend. When I got in his car, he said to me, “You look sexy tonight.”  I replied, “Thank you. Just tonight? Honey, I’m sexy all the time.” He said, “who told you that?” I replied, “I did.” He then said, “You’re not sexy until I tell you you are.”  I laughed.  I also told him, “I’m like a self-cleaning oven. I create the sexy that I am.  It’s called confidence and love of self.”

Sexy is made up of the following:

  • It’s sexy to know what it is that you love about your life and that you can speak up for it.  No matter what it is you love.  It yours; you honor it and that is sexy.  
  • Passion is sexy.  Knowing what you’re passionate about and being able to share your passion without forcing it upon people; sharing it as joy and excitement is a very sexy thing
  • Being able to know what your interests are and being able to share them is also very sexy  

What are you proud of? You have to feel proud of yourself and that you’re happy with your life.  Your happiness is contagious.  You can be proud that you keep even the smallest promise.  You’re happy and know that people are motivated by people they trust; that in itself is sexy. You know that you’re the kind of person that people can count on.  

To that end, it’s important you create yourself the way you see yourself.  That you’re sexy and confident or confident and sexy; the order doesn’t matter.  Don’t allow others to determine who you are.  The way you feel about yourself speaks volumes.  When you’re happy about yourself and you can go from good to great about yourself and people know, like, and trust you, you can become whoever you say you are.

So I ask this question again.  Are you sexy?  The answer is HELL YEAH!

Not sure if you’re sexy or not? Talk to me and we can see why you don’t feel sexy. Visit to sign up for a FREE 15-minute Hello Call!

Love yourself. Until next time!