Noreen Sumpter came from England in 1985 for the love of a man who soon became her husband. A risk-taker, Noreen believes that life is for living. She is now a personal life coach, a career she chose after 15 years as a real estate broker. She came to realize that most people do not love their life and are frustrated with the choices they have made and how their life has turned out. Her love for people motivated her to become a life coach, and she has helped many men and women of all races and classes to live life fully and go after what they want.
One has to be willing to build confidence and self-esteem by owning their voice and speaking their truth. At this Lunch Lady event, Noreen will ask you to activate your dream machine. It’s time to look ahead to a new decade and dream big, envision your future, and take action to have the life you want.
About the presenter:
Noreen Sumpter has been a personal life coach for 14 years and self-employed for 27 years. She is the creator of the Live Life Your Way coaching program and host the Talk Radio NYC radio show Beyond Potential: Live Life Your Way. In addition, Noreen is a past Business Networking International (BNI) mentor, a Manhattan Chamber of Commerce ambassador, President of the Business Referral Group 3 (BRG3), and past VP of Member Engagement for the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO). She has been featured on Oprah.com, This American Life, and Reader’s Digest.
The Lunch Lady is a platform for women (and man-bassadors) in business. Lunch Lady is about education, networking and creating opportunities that grow and develop yourself and business.
What is Lunch Lady’s Mission?
The mission is to provide a courageous space for you to access your internal blueprint to grow your life and business by connecting you with people who will be a demand for you to have money, grow your business, and discover what it will take for you to live your best life. Lunch Lady wants you on the court, not the sidelines of your life, talking about your business or talking about what you need, whether it is finding your magic number that flips your business over to profitability, creating and finding your ideal client, or getting clear about the kind of business experience you want to have. It’s about learning to view your mistakes as an opportunity for success so you don’t stay stuck and can continue to grow and succeed in your business using your higher purpose.
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans.”
~ Peter Drucker
Lunch Lady knows:
- You started a business to do what you love and get paid for doing it
- It is not easy
- Crippling fear can stop you from taking action
- Business has a language all of its own. We want you to find your own language and create the courage to share it so that you can have an impact on your business, finances, and world.
- For many women, there is no plan B.
Why do relationships have to be so difficult? That is the chant of everyone going through buy cialis a breakup. Why take your breakups so personally? When you are going through a breakup, do you dig recall conversations that you can use to sooth your pain, to use as an excuse to make the other party into a despicable person? Do you look for anything to make yourself look good and the other person look bad? It takes resilience and honor to remain a balanced loving individual that understands that a breakup is not personal. If you have difficulty in any area of a breakup, you’ll dredge up past hurts, thoughts and feelings to help justify why things are not going the way you want.
Breakup and hurt feelings are really not meant to be personal; because no matter how long it takes, our feelings are a reaction to an interaction that is not working out. Women want to know why men become silent, and cannot communicate. Men cannot deal with the constant rehashing of old conversations commonly known or referred to as nagging. There are a lot of things that you cannot seem to understand when you are experiencing breakdowns in your relationships. In most relationships, there is a breakdown in communication long before there is a breakup. Sometimes there is a warning sign. Sometimes there is not. The warning signs differs with your personal perspective.
How can a breakdown be good? A breakdown is an opportunity to really look at what is in your relationship that is not working so that you can take the necessary actions to remedy or fix the problem in a manner that works for both parties. However, you know that a breakup is inevitable when you haven’t taken any action in the breakdown phase. Here is a story of a friend who is going through a breakdown/breakup:
My friend is in the midst of a challenge/breakup with her boyfriend. She started our conversation by describing that she was not having a good day. As she said this, she put on her sunglasses apologized for her feelings and began to cry behind her glasses. ( Humans never want to look bad not matter what). I told her to cry as I think it best to be straight with our emotions. She had just broken up with my boyfriend. They argued and she threw him out of her apartment (they were not living together). Living together was the reason for the argument. She could not understand why he was not moving in with her. She was frustrated sad, and disappointed. The haven’t spoken for 5 weeks but that morning on the phone they spoke. “He loves me but relationships should not have to be this hard.”
“I love him, why did he not want to move in with me?” What we want in life will only happen if we take the necessary actions to have them materialize. What actions did you take to have him move in with you? Did you have a deadline? No. I was waiting on him. He said he did not have the money to move into our space. I said it was okay and I will pay the bulk of the rent. “He said no way.” Some men no matter how their situations are were not built to live off a woman. Some men just don’t care. No matter how liberal a woman may be. Men will still be men. They still insist on pulling their weight. “I thought it was his machismo shit” she said. Well, it may be but that was really what it was for him. He did not have the money.
She would not hear it. She confessed to hearing was what she wanted. Sometimes you are so in love with love and what you want, that you cannot hear what your partner has to say. By no means is there anything wrong with what you want, but you need to take action. What steps was she taking? Or were she just continually talking about it so that it turned into nagging. She realized she did not take any steps or create a deadline. She really just waited, talked/nagged, cried and said I love you, why it was not going the way I wanted it to go?
When you are ready and willing to get straightforward and honest with yourself, you can cast off all the things that numb your mind and have you mentally and physically stuck in your life. She immediately saw where she was not thinking and only had thoughts that were a part of the recycling of past conversations.
More on her story next week.
Last week we were talking about why we make our relationships so difficult. I was describing the story of a friend of mine. She wants her boy friend to move in with her, but he cannot because he is restricted by his income. She is interpreting this as a lack of interest and has created a dramatic break-up.
During her break-up/separation, she has been talking to her friends. You all know what talking to your friends can mean when you’re in this condition. It builds you up for a moment. They tell you how beautiful you are, how smart you are and to dump that loser. Most of you will agree with them for the moment and then continue to feel bad about yourself for being in love with a man that is a ‘loser’. Then you become wrapped up in shame about your feelings. With all of that, you begin to cry with your friends comments reverberating in your head. “Girl, you look good. You can find someone better”. When all along, you just want your own comfortable ‘loser’. You don’t care, you love him. He is yours.
Well, it did not occur to me that the guy was not a loser, here was a man that had something he was having a hard time with and needed to workout. Maybe they will go back together, maybe they won’t. But my friend seems to be handling things in a mature way. She loves this man and it was clear because she by no means made him wrong. She actually made herself wrong. We looked at her actions and she got to see that she did not take any real action in preparing for or having her boyfriend move in with her. In actuality, she was crying about regrets and upsets of not knowing what to do differently.
The first things we created a promise for her to quit crying over the phone when she spoke with him. If she did want to talk to him, then talk to him in a way that empowered her. Instead of crying, she could share what she was up to – developments with her business, her family, friends, opportunities successes, people they knew in common, etc. Her man was clearly in her corner and wanted her to be successful when they were together, so she should continue to share her wins with him. In return she could acknowledge how he is doing in his world with his music, congratulate him on being busy in the studio and doing his gigs. She could continue to share love for him in a way that has her empowered, fully self-expressing herself instead of confused, upset, feeling weak and hurt all the time.
We focused on the areas of her life that were working; her business, her money/finances, her family, her friendships. She distinguished that the only things that were not working was her relationship with this man. However, what she was doing, like many people, is that she was losing energy by focusing on the one thing that was not working. Focusing on one problem, would inevitably collapse all that she was committed to building. By the time we had finished talking and laughing, the color came back to her cheeks; she was sitting taller, her eyes were sparkling again. She was expressing herself by thanking me for supporting her to think about herself and her relationship in a way that had her walk away feeling powerfully empowered and good about herself.
If my friends relationship with this man overcomes their challenge, their lives and relationship will never be the same again. Never again will she place herself in a disempowered way. She will not live in regret, upset and confusion by living in the past and wondering what she could have done differently. She will take risks, speak up, by taking action in her love life and life going forward. By being a person who takes action, she will never date like that again. She will Date Like She Means It, speaking her truth, creating what is important to her in all relationships.
So, if you are reading this and or you know anyone who is just had a breakup and they are stuck in a vicious cycle of crying themselves to sleep and slowly sabotaging themselves. Please have them read this article and if they find value send me an email or contact me at 718-834-9450.
I love having people complete old ways of being in a relationship in a way that has them feel empowered and leave the vicious cycle of heartbreak by changing their thoughts and creating a new relationship with themselves and their partners that has them love and create in an empowering way.
For a long time, I could not grasp conversations about the Light. Your light, “She shines so bright”. “Your presence lights up the room”. “She brings the light.” “She’s so bright”, and so on. What I used say about myself instead was: “I bring the party!” I never thought of myself as someone who brings the light. People would often talk about this concept with me and I had no idea what the light meant. It would make me feel uncomfortable; I thought they knew something I should know and I just didn’t. I would get frustrated – not angry really, just uncomfortable. However, I really had no clue about what the light meant.
I was used to hearing priests, vicars, and people of the clergy speak about the light and I’ve read about the light in the Bible. I always thought the light was something that only people who were deeply religious experienced. But I started to rethink my ideas when I started to hear it being said to me.
I was embarrassed because I did not really consider myself a “good person”. I was the girl that always got into trouble in school. I was the sneaky, giggly girl with my conniving face, always cracking jokes. I became the girl who was known to be a distraction. Only good people or good girls had the light, people that could focus, pay attention and follow rules. Not me. I loved to giggle and laugh and I attracted (and distracted) many people in my desire for fun.
I now understand that everyone has the light and everyone is here to shine their light. It is the Godly, spirit light; no matter what you believe in, it still shines. “You have a light”, I’d hear from complete strangers, people I just met, people I worked with – all kinds of people clued me in on this. I’ve also heard you have a light that shines all over the place. In the beginning of my understanding, I would think: “what the hell” they are talking about? To be honest, I was uncomfortable because I knew intuitively that the light came with some kind of responsibility that I did not know and I didn’t want to take on. I also knew I would find out and have to deal with it eventually. It made my stomach hurt, triggering congestion in my solar plexus. I wanted to throw up but never could, and luckily the feeling would eventually pass. Writing this article and sharing about the light, I feel vulnerable and exposed and still want to throw up to this day.
In life, sometimes understanding takes a (colloquial) minute for things to register – by register, I mean grow into a full understanding where it goes from theory to practice and then assimilation. I soon started to realize what the light truly meant.
I have a light. I started to own my light, fully embrace its power and build my confidence. I started to do the things that were important to me, no matter what it looked like. Honing my truth was not easy, and I had to take risks and be willing to fail, to feel hurt. I did not and still do not want to feel hurt, disappointed or rejected. I had to be willing to experience these lessons, and as a Personal Life Coach, I had to be a model for who I was teaching through my work. Now don’t get me wrong here – I have my own unique journey, and as a Personal Life Coach, I respect that people each have their own journey. I didn’t want to be like everyone else – knowing that I am just like everyone else, it is like fashion, we want something new and unique only to realize that everyone else is wearing NY black, we all have the ability to choose and make choices, take risks and fail.
I’ve seen the light in babies, I feel the light in people and I know that all people have this light somewhere inside themselves. My clients learn to harness this energy by doing the things that expand their life and light when they work with me on their goals and partner with me as their Personal Life Coach. I started to experience my own light and feel it, when I let go of my fears and concerns about things I could not control. I started to understand and learn how to build my light. It is built by the good, positive energy that we give to the world through our thoughts, actions and deeds. I started to understand how to gain light. I did so by focusing on my work, coaching clients, saying generous compliments, sending out positive energy, loving myself and enjoying my work. All of these actions honor both my clients and my own gifts. I see the light when I am happy and even when I am not as happy, and I know this light will never disappear.
I love when I have experiences which I now celebrate and call “Kiss Noreen Day”. One Wednesday morning, at the Business Networking International Group (BNI), I was awarded the Golden Microphone by one of my colleagues after he had won it the prior year. He awarded it to me for supporting him in an area of his life that was affecting his business and impacting his confidence. I was truly honored and this was another opportunity to build even more light. I appreciate love and light, I appreciate that he was able to accept my coaching, hear my suggestions and take necessary action to transform his life and business. For me, making a difference as a Personal Life Coach is what I dedicate all of myself to. I love it.
Today, I honor the gift of being a Personal Life Coach. I honor my light profoundly, and because of this discovery, I can fully honor the light in my clients and everyone around me. I love my clients and encourage people to see their own light and grow it. Being fearless, forgiving others (and themselves) and displaying strength helps them expand their confidence and self-esteem. I love the light, and I honor the light so that the light will honor me.
Here are parts of the past that we love to dwell on and sometimes wallow in. The present is where life exists; it’s what is happening now and is alive. The future is what we pray, hope and desire to live in and get to.
The past has teeth – or maybe dentures
The past has really strong teeth. The bite of the past can be one that is either relished or resisted. The bite depends on whether your teeth are real, or if they are dentures. The strength of the past is clever, as it works with all human emotions. It also works with our perceptions of the world – not the way things truly are but the way we see it or believe it. If we are stronger than the bite of the past, we display the courage to let go of the past and cut off the supply of nutrients it requires to feed off our memory. Doing so will then lead us to making more realistic, workable choices. Our minds automatically use only the parts of the past that it thinks are valuable and rarely allows us to play in the now. Before we realize it, we take the same small steps into the future we have always taken, which rapidly become our past again.
The past can resemble an elderly person who has lived life from a place of complete joy, or it can look like a place of pure sadness. One of these pictures is happy and full of life, able to see things in a new way that brings continued happiness and joy. On the other hand, the person who has chosen to live an unhappy, distressed life sees everything as a burden, where every day is heavy and they are depressed, angry and don’t want to transform their situation; they are dying inside and out. They aren’t willing to attempt anything new or see life as a series of opportunities. The past runs their life and they cease to grow.
The present is full of possibilities
Life in the present is spontaneous, open and full of possibilities. The past is worthless and has no real place in the present. The past thinks it needs to be there in order to “protect” us. In many ways, this is a good thing, because otherwise we would get run over, or fall down the stairs, etc. The present, however, is committed to the things that bring us joy, and moves life forward step by step, moment by moment. The present is full of endless possibilities and where issues are forgiven and put aside; when a lesson is learned, what results from that situation can always be useful. There is never any right or wrong answers; there is only what actually happened. The present allows us to live our lives from a very powerful place, with a deep sense of awareness that creates a life of creativity, imagination and wow! The present makes room for trusting our intuitions, and is a place where many doors are always open in the now. It is place where we can live with a fresh outlook. In the now, all issues become relatively easy and accessible to us, helping us to achieve our goals that much faster.
The future makes no promises
The future makes no promises; it merely depends on one’s perceptions of life. Its view depends on how one holds onto that gentle glimmer of hope. The future has lots of different textures. Some are soft and smooth, and others are hard and rough. The textures of the future are like the textures of life. It all depends on the ones that one wants or feels attached to. The future also can be held in the grip of fear – fear of the past. Fear of repeating past mistakes. The future makes no promises that your goals will be met, and it is always met in the now.
The future is patient; it allows for one step at a time in the now. It likes the structure of making plans. However, it is more likely to work out when a plan is flexible, yet unwavering in its commitment, and dedicated to being free from any type of attachment. This is no easy task!
The future likes when you are clear about your requests and do not operate from a perspective of complaints. In combination with the present and the universe (life unfolding moment by moment), such a way of operating can only bring what is desired. It is required that you monitor your thoughts and remain present, free of doubt and fear, meticulous and present to negativity that enters your thoughts. Being free of all concerns is truly an impossibility – what is possible is noticing that you have doubts (or fears, concerns or considerations) and put them off to one side (do not operate from those concerns/considerations) because this is how you sustain your power. This means you can just be human and be superhuman at the same time. To be both though means that you must be able to catch yourself when you do (or think) the things that don’t work for you.
The more authentic you are, the more you become aware of the powers of the past and what is in your now; only then can you feel the present clearly. The future will take care of itself because of the observations and declarations you make in the now. You will see that the trio will be obedient to your wishes; keep in mind though that the past is always poised to infiltrate into whichever way you choose to go.
The past, present and future all hold incredible power. By using your mind to catch yourself, you can learn discipline and work consistently in the now! The key is working only in the NOW, as everything else is either in the past or the future. These are places where you have absolutely no control, so there is no need to be concerned about the past or the future at all!
Contribute these 20 things to your life. If you practice them, they will make you happy.
- Stop all negative thoughts dead in their tracks as soon as they show up
- Do not, text, email, or call anyone when you are angry (I am practicing this one)
- When angry find the source of the anger and flush it down the toilet.
- Know that love starts and ends with you (Love never ends, that’s why we get mad)
- Start accepting that you and your thoughts are the cause of everything in your life
- Happiness is a result of how you feel about yourself moment to moment (Is that why my hair is so great LOL)
- Cause someone else to be happy and you will be happy (Who wants to be happy? Lets play)
- If happiness is something you desire make something exciting happen for yourself instead of waiting for something to happen
- Be happy instead of in reaction. The only thing to react to is Joy and laughter
- Laugh 20 times per day. (Don’t question it Just do it!)
- Be a yes to love, joy and happiness
- Be ready to create a space of forgiveness
- Have enthusiasm and passion live together in the same space
- Honor your freedom and let others have theirs
- Spend time being grateful for how happy and great your life is, and if it does not look happy, fake it until you make it. One baby gratitude at a time (something like, “I’m amazing when I smile”)
- The less judgmental you are of yourself the happier you will become.
- Do not put limits on who, what or how you love. Just love
- Do not complain to yourself or to others (This is a huge one, I still have a hard time with this one)
- The more you love the bigger your vison of life
- The more love you give away, the more love you receive back.
“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give.” Kahlil Gibran
Live Life Your Way,
Noreen Sumpter Life Coach
Accepting yourself is a big step, but it is the most important one of your life.
Affirmations are part of accepting yourself. Go through your day and say “I accept myself” over and over again. Keep saying it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Eventually, it will start to break through and you will understand that you need to accept yourself.
I encourage you to try writing what I call a “Self-Accepting Promise.” Write down all the things you need to start to believe about yourself. If you cannot think of anything, take all of the negative things you say about yourself and reverse them. For example, change “I will never find a good partner” to “I deserve a loving relationship.” Here is my Self-Accepting Promise to myself:
I love myself and that helps melove those in my life and those who come into my life
I will accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.
I am beautiful, loving and kind.
I will not place judgment on myself or others.
My life is a contribution to the world.
Without me the world would not be the same
I will never force love from another.
I am worthy of all relationships that honor me.
For, I am a woman of grace, dignity, courage and joy.
I am a reflection of life itself.
I respect myself and I respect others.
I love myself and so others love me.
I honor myself and so others honor me.
There is no other me ever.
I am compassion for myself and so others are compassionate with me.
I promise myself that I will always speak my truth with love.
I will be forgiving when I have forgotten who I am.
I will be compassion.
I am power, success creative and abundance.
I am fully provided for.
I have fear but fear does not have me.
What is your self accepting promise? I invite you to share your own affirmations.
Live Life Your Way,
Noreen Sumpter Life Coach
Get happy with your choice to be at your job.
I had a fantastic weekend. I did every absolutely everything I wanted to do. I ate frozen cherries and berries, I watched movies, I read, I slept, I chatted with a few people. I connected with friends on Facebook added and found old friends. I had a great weekend.
Did the thought of going to work on Monday make you wince? If so, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you know more people have heart attacks on Mondays? Stress – this is a common experience for a lot of people. When you get on the subway this morning, did you notice the misery on people face in the subway car? No one seems excited for the work day. Most of the people riding to work are in a funk and are complain about how much they hate their jobs, bosses or what they do. People are dissatisfied with the work life. LET’S CREATE SOME SATISFACTION FOR A JOB WELL DONE TODAY.
Most people hate their jobs, they hate their bosses and they are in some sort of upset with their co-workers. Most workers had no idea who they were or what they wanted to do when they took on their jobs/career. The one desire was to make money. Now that you have been on your job for a number of years, you feel stuck, locked in, and feel you have limited job options. Your money is good and you’re afraid to leave your job or switch career gears. You are afraid that you might be trapped in the same job doing the same thing for the rest of your life. WHERE COULD YOU GENERATE A SOME COMPASSION FOR A CO-WORKER, COLLEAGUE OR BOSS YOU DISLIKE TODAY? GO ON, JUST TRY!
What Is Your Potential? Most workers do not know their potential. They have settled for whatever it is they have settled for. Many people find out later that they have gone against their true nature for money and work and so they are not doing the thing they want to do. I remember when I worked a job where l longed to make a difference and I did not know what I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted to be happy and make a difference. WHERE COULD YOU USE YOUR POTENTIAL AT WORK TODAY DESPITE HATING YOUR BOSS AND YOUR JOB?
I changed my job because I was sick of pushing papers. I didn’t love my job, but I liked and I loved the people I worked with and that’s what kept my energy going. I liked talking to them. Work for me was like a social event, because I love people. So no matter where I was if there were people present I could make myself happy. WHERE COULD YOU BE WILLING TO FIND SOME HAPPINESS AT WORK TODAY DESPITE THE FACT THE YOU HATE YOUR JOB?
How many times did you hit the snooze this morning? Now, I have life the way I want it. The truth is I always did and so do you. You are on your job and you chose it. You may not like you job or enjoy it as much as you did when you first started, but it is yours. For those of you who are happy on your job, congratulations, and for those of you who are not, I am very sorry to hear that. So, what are you going to do? If you answer is nothing, stay in your cubby and leave the happy people alone.
Do you feel obligated to go to work? Do you hate your job? Please, I beg you stop hating it. Hate is a robber of energy and it doesn’t provide you with anything positive, least of all it does not provide you with room to see your greatness and create newly. Hating impacts everything in your life and keeps you stuck and keeps everything away that is important to you. No one is forcing you to go to work or to do a job that you do not want to do. That is a choice you are making every day.The sad news here is that you don’t even know you’re the one making the choice. You’re the one sucking the energy out of your life.
Today is Monday and already some of you might be thinking of Friday. Let go of that thought and come back to the now. This week start doing One Thing. One thing that you can be proud or. Challenge yourself. I will assure you if you do one thing today, tomorrow up until Friday you will have so much energy by the end of the week and you will be happy. Stay in the now, be present, and Friday will come without you forcing it
Create a mindset that you will be happy at work and start going within and ask yourself, if you’re not happy in this moment, what can you create right now that will make you happy with your work and yourself? Maybe you need to clean up something. Maybe you could do that task you have been putting off. That conversation you want to have but you’re afraid to have. Take an action that you are afraid to take. Or do that one thing that you have been avoiding.
You can spend the next 8 to 10 hours being or you can create it by being happy. The truth is you choose. So choose, wisely and happily.
Live Life Your Way,
Noreen Sumpter Life Coach
Do you ever get a feeling of heaviness when you are doing something that you don’t want to do? For instance, there are people who are working at jobs they don’t want or do not like; dating people or hanging out with people who leave you feeling as though you have just run a race with ten sacks of potatoes on your back.
You are not following your higher self, or your instincts. When higher self and instinct speak to you, you feel joyful and happy, giddy with laugher. If you are forcing yourself to do something that is in the realm of “should,” you’re not listening to your higher self or your instincts.
I had a friend who was always negative and you could never tell whether she would be in a happy or a foul mood. We would go out and men would speak to us and she would get into an argument. We would go to restaurants and she would get into a fight with the wait staff or treat them like poo. I hung out with her on and off for years because we were from England and we had a few things in common. It did not dawn on me that we were incompatible, until one night after going out with her I came home drained. I had to ask myself why I’m so drained – did I have a good time? My answer was no.
The universe is a wonderful friend because not long after that, she cursed me out the way she did the wait staff. I listened and when she was done I shared with her that I could no longer hang out with her any more and we ended our relationship. It was that simple. Simple, yes, and a little difficult too because we do not make friends with people to end the friendship. However, more often than not, people are in our lives to teach us who we were or are. We might not like it and it is okay. We learn the lesson and we move on. My energy level went up and I started embracing people who were in alignment with my new energy. People who love people, people who love sharing and enjoying life, giving and receiving compliments.
Do you find yourself resisting and sabotaging yourself? Now to answer this question you have to be insightfully straight and honest with yourself. In order to tell on yourself, you have to be willing to feel uncomfortable for a moment, but it’s well worth it.
Live Life Your Way,
What if you had only three months to live, and the only way you could extend your life was by doing the things that you always wanted to do but never did? Take a moment and think about it. The stipulations are as follows: it has to be do-able within three months, it has to be something that you daydreamed about constantly; it has to be something you never fulfilled or completed in the past.
Consider the following:
The first step would be to calm down, because you may be panicking about the impending end.
Think for a moment and pull yourself back together.
Express yourself and don’t censor or edit yourself in any way.
Be how you want to be and create what you want.
It is no one’s business what you choose to do.
It must be something fun that you would derive pleasure from.
It makes you happy and it is important to you and it could if you choose make others happy.
You have only yourself to please.
Ultimately it is nobody’s business but your own.
You do not have to focus on anything other than your daydream and your creations.
These are the rules
- You must be completely honest with yourself and that may be something you have never done before in a truly conscious way.
- Full self-expression, it is necessary to unleash your passions and everything that makes you, you.
- Willingness to fall on your face and risk embarrassment (FYI embarrassment can be eliminated)
- Speak to someone every week to keep you accountable
- It must be something you have never done before
- You have to be willing to fail and fail big.
- You must be patient
- You must trust yourself and you cannot ever make yourself wrong (FYI there are ways to resolve it if you do).
You must be willing to experience trusting yourself and creating your dreams so they will materialize. The other side of this experience is that negative thoughts materialize and unlike your daydreams and fantasies, negative thoughts take little or no energy to materialize. So you must recognize your words have power to create thoughts, and thoughts create actions.
You must be willing to admit when you are afraid. When you do not, your fear becomes worse. If however, you admit that you are afraid, the fear can disappear and you will discover you have power. When you admit to your concerns, they too will disappear. When you do not, they stay in your head and they become even bigger.
You must be willing to distinguish each concern and barrier separately, rather than roll them all into one mass, which tends to show up as procrastination.
The flipside, if you really only had three months, you would start believing in yourself like never before. You would transform your mindset and start playing in the universe; then you would realize it is an abundant playground. You could start believing that you are the captain of your own life. You create and generate your life, job, relationships, finances and you can really have whatever you want. This is because you do it already. (Don’t believe me, just look at yourself, your nice apartment, crappy apartment, money, no money – you created all of that!) You would either realize that you are amazing, you are beautiful and there is nothing ugly, bad, broke or fat about you. You would become naturally generous with yourself which in turn would transfer to others who would want to be around you so much more. Let’s imagine that you created a fabulous week for yourself. You had a wonderful experience this week because on Monday you said everything you needed to say, you were honest with yourself, you honored you word, you did all the things you said you would do. You generated courage to follow through and it’s now Friday and your week went the way you planned it and it all turned out really well. What’s next? You get to say. You always get to say how it goes.
The truth is you will always have time for busy. Do whatever you want to take care of you.
There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on. Especially if you are a woman that wants a huge life. There will always be emergencies where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out. I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work, and you period has not come, and you have a medical emergency, you feel guilty about what you did last night, last week and last year. The world, hell the Universe will be screaming for your attention. I am getting sick just writing this list. These are 13 ways to Live Life Your Way and live by your own design.
Laundry is not important to me. Clean clothes is what important you don’t have to do it, you can give it to someone else to do it. People who do not stand for me and who want to make me feel bad about myself you know the people that want something and guilt you into it. Your mother, boyfriend, friends even the mailman. You know it’s bad if the mailman can guilt you into stuff. Things that are not important to you and not necessary to you. Say No, Good way to handle that is to say I prefer and to do that.
Asking for Help
Asking for help is really important. A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help are you one of these people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask for make sure that you use it. Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then not using it. Most people want to help want to revel in seeing you successful and happy. People when helping it makes them feel useful, important and important. You can ask for anything you want anything. Know when asking People they have to right to say yes or no. People are grown and responsible for the choices they make it is not you position to choose for them. Just don’t underestimate people and try to take negative advantage of them.
Stay on contact
It is important to stay in contact with your friends. No matter the length of time that you have know the person. People like to be acknowledged and to feel like they are friends. There are 6+ billion people on the planet and if you do not feel like you have no friends, no one loves you then you know what you are not being a good friend. You might be expressing love and sharing love. Love is addictive. Giving love and expressing love is a good feeling. Try it. Send a message, send a text letting people know that you are thinking of them makes a world of difference in another life. It does not have to be a two lunch it could be a 5 min checking in just to see how they are doing. Try this on for size, send out I was thinking out you messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back. No it is not weird. I am doing 5 right now. Stop what you doing and just do it. The 1st five people in your phone to start. I’m back, just sent out 8 instead of five. Got 3 responses already in 8 mins. Generally if they are in your phone most are friends. You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone, most will be okay about it. However, keep in touch with people are best as YOU can it will keep you happy and keep you inspired around life, making friends and being inspired.
Surround yourself with things that you like.
Surround yourself with only the things that you enjoy or like. Do not buy or bring into your emotional space things that you do not enjoy or like as they was pull emotional energy from you. When you in a dumpy mood or low energy having things around you that you enjoy that you can focus on will and can cheer you up and bring up your energetic level. Pinterest is an awesome app as you can put it on your computer your phone and you can get little boost of inspiration.
I usually provide this as a tool to my clients, at first they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do then they do the gratitude list as chore then they. When you are being grateful about what you have in your life. You do not have time to whine about the things you don’t have. Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences whether you are making, or the result of the activities of negative people around you. Recognize that you have to power, and put it into constant use until you have created for yourself a wall of immunity against negative influences in your own mind. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work on you through you subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect. So having a daily gratitude list, even creating one where you share back and forth with friends of like mind will empower you creating dialog instead of monolog where the negative thoughts do not have a chance to pollute you mind. Gratitude has power to move you forward. Keep a journal for your gratitudes where you can go back whenever you need a little boost.
Keep a Planner for your life, and your fun times
Keeping a planner makes you life less crazy. It is good practice to put all the things that are important to you also adding things that are fun. Many people put in doctors appointment, work things, children but they don’t really schedule time for fun. Get in the practice of adding into your planner time for fun. It is a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you have schedule time for vacation, but it is also great to see inside of your day that you have scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own. When you keep a planner is it important to schedule everything so you don’t have any shocks surprises and missed meetings. Once you have got that the difficult part will be to learn to use the planner in a way that is effective and does not make you regret the appointments that you have made. Balance things, and give your self the right to say no thank you to an appointment.
Keep track of your wins
Write down you wins. Weekly wins are important so that you can have a real record of your wins and your achievements. I got a write up in an online magazine http://www.t2conline.com/a-call-for-coaching that’s a big win if I don’t write that down. I will never remember. Make a habit of writing down your wins and achievement’s write down you milestones they will help you when you feel that you have hit a wall in your personal achievements’ at the end of the day you can check in.
Your appearance: Make sure you like you
Also make sure that you like what you wearing and that you have your own personal style and that you look the way you want. That your style is yours. You don’t have to have the latest blah blah, but it is good to have your own look that unique to you. With regard to your clothes take on your body, do you feel good about your body, are you a little overweight or a lot overweight, but you wear your body well. Do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them. Then work on them or shut up. You style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself. Be bold and move with boldness. Mousiness will never look great in best of clothes. Generate your energy. You could be wearing sweat pants and give an air of confidence where you are wearing them they are not wearing you hiding something about yourself. When you go out to shop make sure you shop for what you really like, bring a trusted friend who can share with you how the item looks. However, truth is if you are confident in your image you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.
Create a go to Group
Have a go to group. A go to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust, that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you. These woman are a bigger stand for your life than you are and they will support you to get back on the tracks of life. They will remind you whether gently or they will shake up if you need a good shake up. If you cannot afford a coach, a go to group is perfect. These woman must not coach you or tell you what to do, what they will do is remind of who you are and the commitment and goal that you have or are creating for your life. They will provide you with a pep talk or a reality check.
Do something silly that makes you laugh until you tummy hurts
Go and see a really stupid move, there are a ton of them out there. When you go to this movie, you should laugh naturally, when I mean naturally I mean at your own level and length of time. Be you, do not go to the movie and do what everyone does, the movie laugh track, when everyone starts are the same time and finishes at the same time. So unnatural. That is censoring a natural emotion. Laugh until you are completely done. I went to the movies, with this guy once it was a date. We went to see Fat Albert http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fat+albert+movie&view=detail&mid=B326DD89B259A34501CFB326DD89B259A34501CF&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR&qpvt=fat+albert+movie The movie was everything and corney. It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing. It was great to just laugh. However, the guys said “Note to self never take you to see a movie again” as me if I cared. I think that laughing in a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the movie, I had a great time and was completely expressed and free. Laughing is good for you . Laugh often and laugh loud its contagious. Make jokes, engage your peeps, share jokes and laugh at lot. It makes you feel better and is good for your health. Every time you laugh a comedian get his chops. Lol.
Be emotionally okay
Be ok with your emotions, you have to emotions so that you can express them. Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you sad, express it. However, express it a way that allows you to complete the cycle. Do go digging for sadness, don’t go dregging up old relationships and add them to your new ones. If you need a good cry, cry and complete it. Do not blame other people for your sadness your need to cry or for your crying. If you stressed out, look at what is causing the stress and create new actions to take to relieve the stress. Stress in a big killer and I am sure you don’t want to die or suffer some stress induced illness. Do not cover your emotions express them. She them responsible. Release all the emotions, frustrations, and the anger in a responsible way. You will feel so much better with the release and so clear actions to take. (Here’s an action step call me and ask me how to clean your stress and get your in action).
Write things down
Conversation and thoughts disappear, so write them down. Get yourself a little book and save your brain cells, ever get those times when you get a great idea, or your hear something. Or someone gives you the name of something and you think you can remember it. Well you cannot. If you have a full life, it is rare that you will remember the thing. Also, when you can whip out your little book of remembering you actually are telling the other person that what they are saying is valuable enough to write it down. Don’t waste time trying to remember stuff write it down.
Accept yourself as you are and as you’re not.
Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and love yourself every moment of every moment. Don’t think about things that you have not achieve yet. Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation. You are very different and unique from every one else. You are one of a kind and quite beautiful. Accept your uniqueness your path is different from everyone eles. Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others. Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt. Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with a some compassion. Show people who you are. When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you. When you judge yourself you stand in the way of your self-love. Every time you judge yourself you separate your-self from others. Stop separating and accept yourself now. You do not have to change anything about yourself.
Live Life Your Way,