What can I say about this workshop? It was phenomenal! My experience of the workshop has transformed my communication and relationship to men. If I can be candid with you, since my divorce some good many years ago, I believed that there was nothing a man could do for me that I could not do for myself. Truth be told, the only thing that a man could do for me was sex – a good roll in the hay and I knew what I liked and was not very open to anything else. Sex was one of the few things that a man could provide for me, plus a few handyman things.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love men and there were other things that they could do for me, but sex was the prime ingredient. I was not looking for a partner. Furthermore, from where I stood, there was not much I could see. Yes, you might even say that I objectified men.
Some time ago, I had a relationship with a man and this time, I completely allowed myself to enjoy my interaction with him, spending times when we were just being together. During my interactions with him I felt loving, kind and generous. I discovered that the missing ingredient was me. As it turned out, the relationship did not last, however the experience left me wondering and feeling wonderful. I had love for this man, which was great. I had learned to express love.
After that relationship, it dawned on me that what I desire is a committed loving relationship with a man. However, as an adult woman, I had no idea what it would take or who I had to become to have one. So I started to inquire about what having that kind of relationship would take. That is when I found the book, Calling in the One. I started reading it and saw all the exercises and realized that I had no interest in going through the book alone and invited some women into having me facilitate a group where we would go through it together.
It was a wild and woolly experience that ended a nine week experience with all I could say was WOW. It was emotional, I cried buckets of tears, and I discovered things about myself that I did not know. During one of the exercises on releasing, I experienced what I can best describe as synchronistic: boyfriends, ex-husband, ex-lovers all turned up almost from out of the blue with apologies for things they had said or done in the relationship. Memories came flooding back of the kind of relationship my mother and father had. Long and difficult conversations with my former husband were had. I developed a new and profound respect for myself and men, the discovery of what love as an expression really is for me and for others.
Although I was the facilitator of the workshop, I was doing the work alongside the other women. The workshop had me go places that no ordinary woman would want to go. The women who participated in this workshop were and are an extraordinary class of women who made it safe for everyone to go to those places. This workshop is a microcosm of life on the court. The heavy lifting and removing obstacles and the resulting lightness of being afterwards has left me more accepting of men than ever before, which is resulting in the beginnings of new friendships. I could not have done this work without the other women in the group. What I saw was that thriving relationships are not for the weak at heart. In relationships one is compelled to look at oneself in the face through the reflection of another. This workshop is for all women who love who they love, where women who are looking at themselves get to see themselves through the nonjudgmental listening of other women.
As previously mentioned, I based this workshop on the book, Calling In the One by Katherine Woodward Thomas, and what I provided was a support structure with respect and a safe space for women to express themselves. I will be facilitating another workshop later this summer.
Come to our Introduction Party on June 15th, 2014 at 3:00 p.m. to learn more about this wonderful workshop!
The moment I started this workshop things started moving for me! I was able to forgive my exes and let go of past wrongs and hurt from all relationships in my life. I started working on powerful affirmations for my life, on my self-confidence, and creating my dream woman. Two weeks into the course, I had the courage to ask out a woman that I really admire. Now, you must know I NEVER would have taken the chance! I had no idea how it would go and I was terrified – I didn’t even know if she was into women! I “made of move” and it’s been a blast ever since! Dating someone while taking this workshop has made the biggest difference. Weekly I come and share what I want to create and let go of insecurities so I can have a healthy relationship. I’m committed to going from a “me” to a “we.” And, the woman I am dating is the woman of my dreams!” – Kat Pactong
“I am so simply amazed that Noreen just kind of fell into my life and presented me with the gift of being a part of a group that is so life changing and touching. Before CITO I just didn’t know how to articulate my feelings or express them correctly or effectively , through each week I am now able to be authentic and open in a way that sharing is as natural to me as breathing. I feel a greater sense of well being & belonging. I learned so much from the women in the group. I have shared the most recent phases of my journey with them. What made me feel a greater sense of powerful vulnerability is when Noreen would share . I realized through her that wherever we are in life we are all human. CITO changed my life & I am so ecstatic to pass this message along! I BELIEVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART IT WILL CHANGE YOURS TOO!” – Aleisha D. Stewart
I would love to connect with you on social media. Please feel free to reach out to me onTwitter and Facebook
Last week I talked about friendships and what happens when they suddenly end. I have been pondering my friendships to understand what happens and what it will take for me to be a great friend as well as an incredible Life Coach in the area of Confidence and Self Esteem.
What I saw in myself and my friendships was shocking. I’ve been being a bratty demanding friend and ending relationships with the Kiss of Death. I want you to know, that I have been doing some powerful work in and around my friendships. I have taken immediate action, cleaned up and have gotten rid of olds way of behaving that no longer work or serve me.
What I know is that I love my friends. My friends love me and love being with me. However, what I saw about myself is that I do not have space for them to make mistakes in their friendship with me. I want my friends to be perfect and not cause me any concerns or hurt me in any way that I deem unsuitable for a friendship. So the moment I experience an upset or cause for concern, real or imagined, I confront them. If they do not act the way I want them to, I end the relationship. I am gone. They’re dead to me. This has cost me a lot of friends.
This is just a basic example of what I do:
I send them a text or email which is filled with love and the Kiss of Death.
I erase them from all my communications, Facebook, phone etc.,
When I see them around, I ignore them.
I don’t want to know anything about them ever because I’ll get upset.
Whenever I think about them and have unresolved emotions.
This is what I am left with:
Friends that I have ignored or mentally killed off.
Friends who even if they wanted to be in communication, cannot reach me they’re blocked or ignored.
I have am upset, angry and miss my friends.
I am left with longing with memories of great friends and times that are no long present in my life.
Continuous conversations and stories about what happened or did not happen.
What I’m already being is:
Stubborn – I’ll be dammed, l’ll no longer communicate with them.
Justified – They are wrong, I am right.
Angry and pissed off – To hell with them!
Sad and replaying memories– I’m stubborn and I will not surrender. They have to say they are sorry first and confess the wrong they have done me.
In the end, what I discovered is that I need to accept my friends as humans. They are going to do and say things that I do not agree with. Whatever happens in my friendships is not personal. I can accept them anyway they are and are not. I realize what was missing is: vulnerability, integrity, love, patience, kindness and graciousness.
I took on what was missing in my life and what I saw was the piles up upset feelings I created for myself and for my friends. I realize that this way of being is not who I want to be in my life. I proceeded to call my friends and send email to them and one by one. I put the integrity back in my life and my relationships by sharing my experiences and how I felt about our relationship. I let them know I could be counted on going forward.
The response has been great. They got to share how it was for them being on the other end of my stuff (crap.) For those I spoke on the phone with, I have declared that I will clean up with them in person as well. I shared with them what was there for me, what had me kill off the relationship and how the fear of being told what to do, of being wrong, judged and evaluated, actually impacted our friendship. I had no compassion for my friends and was being a spoiled brat. The person who was being hard on me was me.
Going forward, my friends get to choose powerfully if they want to engage in a relationship with me from nothing. I get to accept them as they are and as they are not. If I cannot accept them how they are, then I have no right calling myself a friend. I don’t have to make them wrong and me right. This approach does not work. I am a Life Coach and create transformation in other people’s lives. It was a young conversation which caused me to get reactivated and where I did not have language. Well, I have the language now and I will use it.
With all that said, I want my friends to know that I love them. I am transforming my old friendships into friendships where I have understanding and communication, where I will be being vulnerable, loving, gracious, and kind. They get to be however they are and choose powerfully if they wish to be friends with me. Together, we create relationships that work. With that I no longer have to experience fear of loss, upset or some impending hurt. Whatever way my friends choose to be is fine.
Where in your life are you willing to take action and reclaim your friendship with people you have killed off by giving them The Kiss of Death?
Love, Noreen Sumpter
Last week I was exploring how the past impacts my life in areas that are so young that I did not know that I even had those barriers. I don’t realize these barriers exist until something triggers a response. I do not have the memory of what happened just the response I created to survive. I also got to see that even though I am playing and having fun in my life, I am not really playing in areas of my life that matter to me. One area is a love relationship as I don’t have a man. I also saw that while I am very serious about my business, there is no play in that area at all.
I also got to see a big fat area of my life where there is no play. I have no play in the area of money and that I do not relate to money as a fun tool. My adult life has no real spontaneity of play. So, knowing that I am taking a look from where I am now and creating where I would like to go. What will it take to upgrade my inner conversations t0 first class so I have a first class that is created with ease, grace and freedom.
There is an old adage that says whatever you want, give it away. So I am creating having a first class life in all areas of my life with a focus of love, and abundance and I plan on sharing this with you.
The questions below are something for you to ask yourself.
- Where in your life is play missing and what would you be willing to do to put play back in?
- Answer these questions honestly to yourself. You can even answer them with another person.
- When you talk with others, are you in monologue or dialogue? Could you share more of yourself by being in a open and free dialogue? Yes or No? If yes, try it?
Play exists in conversations and is a back and forth experience.
- What is your experience of play? Is it hard work, easy or do you just not play at all?
- Are you having relationships and conversations that are back and forth – free of jumping to conclusions, experiences upsets, releasing anger and losing control?
- Does playing make you feel uncomfortable?
Think back to when you were a child and were really good at playing:
- What were your favorite games?
- When you became an adult, did you notice that you stopped playing in your life? When and why did you stopped playing?
- What are the nature of the kinds of conversations you are currently having in your life? Are they complaints? Are your conversations exciting and happy? Or are your conversations leaving you exhausted or afraid?
Women with strong healthy sexual boundaries know their likes and dislikes so their communication is clear, attractive and sexy. Sex is interplay between consenting individuals. There are things that you’ll like and the other person might not, so it’s necessary to communicate with the person you intend on having sex with clearly.
A woman who is confident with her sexuality expresses it in and out of the bedroom, with clear verbal and non verbal communication. She knows that her sexual needs, and pleasure are her responsibility 100% and that her partner is 100% responsible for their needs. As a result, if something shows up in the act of sex that does not appeal to her, she would not hesitate to speak her truth and voice her opinion in a manner that is respectful and non judgmental of herself and partner.
A sexually responsible woman is honest with herself about her needs and desires. She has given herself full permission to live truthfully in all areas of her life that are important. She shares her boundaries clearly and concisely as she knows her pleasure depends upon it.
So like a sexually responsible woman, with anything in life you desire, it is important that your give yourself permission to have it in order to live your life confidently and freely.
What are your boundaries and have you shared them completely?
It’s ability to know what you desire. Some people have little or no real boundaries, but they know what repulses them.
A boundary based on repulsions is very clear and focused on what you will not do. It is important to be clear with your boundaries. They should be your own boundaries and not be boundaries where you are dragged along for a ride only your partner will enjoy.
If you follow or are dragged along by other people’s sexual boundaries you will never feel comfortable. You will always end up feeling resentful, and this kind of tension is never good for your well being. So if you plan to expand or push your sexual boundaries make sure they are based on your own healthy choices.
Think for a moment, how would you share or express yourself for your pleasure with the following:
Touch: how you’d like to be touched, when to be touched
Pressure: soft, hard
Pace: fast, slow
Lights: on or off
Rough or not
Sexually explicit language
Introduction of Sex Toys
Kissing and telling
Sharing your sexual History
What would your life look like if you gave yourself permission to life with confidence and a strong self esteem in all areas of your life?
What would your life look like if you were living your life with a strong self esteem and without second guessing yourself?
As a Confidence Coach, I believe setting personal boundaries is a way of protecting and taking care of yourself, your heart and not allowing this get twisted by people comments, thoughts or feelings about you. It is important to be able to tell people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to you and to be able to know that you have the right and duty to protect and defend yourself. It is your responsibility to be clear on how you want others to treat you.
I coach my clients to you learn how to state your feelings verbally and let people know how they feel in a way that communicates clearly. By stating your feelings verbally you affirm your right to your feelings and you know that you are not your feelings you have feelings and they can change from situation to situation, moment to moment. By affirming your feelings it allows you to take responsibility for yourself and your life. Owning yourself, your reality and your voice is empowering. The result of self-ownership, allows other people to hear and understand you clearly.
Some people might say that setting and having boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation. So they are set boundaries when in fact they are attempting to manipulate people and situations. The difference between setting boundaries and manipulation is that boundaries are healthy,give people choices and allows you the freedom to let go of the outcome. Whereby, manipulation is not a clear form of communication and it exploits people into doing what you want them to do, by using methods that cause confusion. This confusion has you
create outcomes that only the manipulator is clear about.It is unhealthy to have relationships with people who have no boundaries, who cannot communicate directly, honestly and freely. Learning how to set boundaries is important and necessary for you to be a friend to yourself and others. It is your responsibility to take care and to protect yourself. It is important to love, honor and respect yourself. You cannot truly love yourself if you do not take responsibility. Loving yourself allows you the opportunity and freedom to be a creator in your life. How well do you set boundaries?
Take these steps to learn how to make amends with your loved ones in the New Year.Continue reading
Though some of these following requests might appear to be self-centered and over indulged, they are what many women would like from a partner. However, if you look at the request for what they are really saying, you can hear that they want love and attention. These women like all women want to be loved and adored. They require what sounds like simple things. They want to be appreciated for the woman and feminine beings that that they are. Here are some of the requests I have heard form women over the years:
- Spend time with me
- Allow me to share my feelings
- Share your pleasure with me
- Be open with your feelings
- Feel good about us or leave
- Knows where to stand as a man
- Have confidence
- Be romantic
- Offer me protection
- Takes pride in our relationship
- Respect me
- Be thoughtful
- Give me the gift of time…
- Tell me I am beautiful and appreciated
- Asking my opinion regarding a life decision that you are thinking about making…
- Kiss me on my forehead after serving him dinner
- Kiss me on my forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, left boobie and right boobie 5:30 in the morning when he leaves for work
- Text me he made it to work and that he can’t wait to get back home.
- Give me reasons to giggle
- Compliment me in detail
- Randomly express how he appreciates me in his life
- Kiss tears away when they fall
- Put a warm rag on my tummy during that time, hand me 2 Aleve, and some water, make me some tea, and hold me to distract from the pain and discomfort until I fall asleep
- Give me words of encouragement
- Be loyal
- Acknowledgment my accomplishments
- Give me emotional support coupled with physical touch (such as a hug, human touch doesn’t mean sexual)
- Hold me tighter when the alarm goes off
- Speak about our future together in detail
- Motivate me, it shows your belief in who I am and what I do
Simple things mean a lot to every girl. Small talks, weird topics, smiles, a thank you, and a lot more. But nothing beats the respect, thoughtfulness, time and sincerity of what a man can give to his woman. 🙂 It’s the simple things, not so much the grandeur gestures.
Dating? What is it? Why is it so confusing? Dating is a form of courtship that focuses mostly on social activities between two people for the sole reason of accessing whether they are suitable for each other as an intimate partner or potential mate. Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which emerged in the last few centuries.
During the Middle Ages in Europe, weddings were seen as business arrangements between families. While romance was something that happened before and outside of marriage, discreetly in covert meetings. Can you imagine being in a loveless marriage that was a business transaction? The only way that people were able to pursue love and intimacy was by having affairs. A 12th-century book, The Art of Courtly Love, advised that “True love can have no place between husband and wife”. Can you imagine? I think that we are still at that place given the number of divorces we are experiencing in this time.
Dating is two people together in public, exploring if they should become romantically involved. Each person is in chorus evaluating the other as a possible future partner, and at the same time is being evaluated. Dating is stressful. Some of what happens on a date is guided by a mutual understanding of societies rules. In my opinion, dating becomes scary because of a set of mythological rules from our reptilian brains and how its effect on our emotions. Dating is not based on logic. It turns smart successful people into confused bumbling idiots.
What is dating anyway? Why does it catch us off guard? Why do we have all of these negative conversations surrounding dating, most of which we make up in our heads? What is it that has so many people confused, frightened and upset? I’ll tell you what I think. It’s because we are all trying very hard to avoid the experience of being vulnerable. We do not want to be responsible for what we really want in relationship and we have a fear of rejection.
We believe that being vulnerable is a weakness, when being vulnerable is actually one of our strengths. Being vulnerable allows us to be truthful with ourselves and our feelings. Vulnerability does not operate on the side of logic.
My personal experience with being vulnerable was when I was trying avoid my feelings. I was feeling anxious, worried and outside of myself. I do not like these feelings. So, I do not dwell in them for a long time. The moment I shared my vulnerability and what I was afraid of, I felt like I rebalanced myself. I experienced a sense of relief. It gave me power and the self-awareness of how I was shutting myself down and not being open to my feelings. I found out I was resisting my emotions by constantly complaining to anyone who would listen. I discovered that I was creating the same problems in every relationship that I encountered. I didn’t express my feelings and wasn’t vulnerable, then I became distant or resentful.
When you are considering dating, it is important to know what it is that you want to create for yourself. What is the intention of dating? Be honest and clear with yourself. Take nothing personally. Accept that your date is having their own variation of what it is you are going through. After you gain clarity about your needs, wants, and expectations, be courageous enough to share them, knowing that not every person who wants to date might be on the same page as you.
“What a Bitch!” “I cannot believe she’s so Bitchy.” “She is one hard Bitch.”
Have you noticed when a woman is confident and feels truly good about herself, knows what she wants, has clear concise boundaries and is developing her personal power in a healthy way, she is often referred to as Bitch. Some of her friends might even say things like “she has changed.” Of course she changed. Everyone changes over time.
Who wants to stay the same? Who wants to remain ignorant and insecure? I don’t think any woman wants that. Life is a series of choices and so we change.
It is time to stop seeking external validation, by being “nice”, living in guilt, feeling afraid, being people pleaser, or by downplaying your needs and by putting yourself last. It’s time to own your personal power and deal with yourself by:
• Owning the Bitch Within
• Learning to be Selfish
• Going for your desires
• Playing a bigger life game
Bringing forth your personal power
The word Bitch might have negative connotations; but in some areas of life if you’re a woman on a mission and up to big things, at some point you will be called a bitch to your face. But more often than not, it’s behind your back. It’s important to become okay with yourself the way you are and not feel you have to defend yourself against stupidity.
Gossip, is a part of life. When people don’t know you they will make up all kinds of stories about you until they find out the truth. I have a saying, if no one is talking about you, you really not up to much. But, when you’ve learned to deal with fear and yourself, the term bitch, will no longer have control over you. You’ll experience major growth and personal power. Then any comment made about you, will no longer produce a negative feeling or result, it will be like water off a ducks back.
A Woman Owning the Bitch Within
In order to love the bitch within, you have to know and own that bitch. In this blog, the bitch I’m referring to is a strong, confident loving person that has healthy boundaries. She knows that nothing is personal. This Bitch accepts herself for all she is and all she is not. She is grateful for her mind, potential and life and is willing to create anything she wants to experience. She knows that mistakes are a part of the journey of growth and development. She knows that nothing is ever really wrong. She is 100% responsible for her life, the way it is and the way it is not. She is open to living a joyous life knowing that things happen for the greater good. She knows she has choices and can complain, or be a victim in a continuous cycle of negativity and righteousness.
Learning to be Selfish
This Bitch she is very selfish. However, the reason why she is selfish is because she knows she does not come from a deficit in any area in her life. She is abundant in her way of being. She gives 100% because she coming from a place of self-love, abundance and generosity. Self-love is a heartfelt experience. This is not the kind of Bitch that is aggressive and negates other people’s rights. She is empowered and thus empowers others. She is willing to take responsibility for her life and gives up making excuses. This is not the kind of selfishness that does not care about the effects of her actions on other people. This Bitch is not aggressive or controlling. Being Selfish means that you make sure that you are taken care of. When you are completely taken care, you have an abundance of self to give away. When you say yes, you mean yes. When say no, you mean no. There is no questioning of choice. Everything is sent out for the highest good and everyone receives the highest good back.
Going for your desires
This bitch goes for, knows and asks clearly for exactly what she wants. She also knows that clarity is one of the keys to having it all, so she does not settle for less than what she wants. She also knows that if she has the right to go for her desires, so does everyone else. She knows that the universe is abundant. Being fulfilled in all of her desires is important. Her desires are important. She will ask as many times as it is necessary to get what she really wants. She knows when she stops asking for her desires, it not that she cannot have it. It’s that something better has shown up and taken it place. Desires are continuous and so we keep on asking until old desires are met and new ones are created.
Playing a bigger game
This Bitch knows that playing a bigger game in life does not have anything to do with size or amount, it means being authentic and honest with one’s thoughts and feelings. Having the freedom to live one’s dream. Being happy with her choices so that her energy can be directed where she would like it to be. She believes in herself and she believes that all things are possible. She knows to achieve the life she wants. Believing in herself is a choice. It’s an attitude that she has developed for herself overtime. She does not blame her family for the hand that she was dealt, or the race, physical size or class that she was born into. She knows that she is responsible for her own concepts and she can change them. Her game in life is personal to her and no one ever has to agree or want to play. She is okay about other people’s opinions, as she knows their opinions are none of her business.
Bringing forth your personal power
The Complete Bitch has personal power. She needs no reason, she just is. It is her very own. The Bitch that I speak of knows that if she is going to be successful in her life in her own right. She knows that it’s the way she handles herself and owns the Bitch within. Personal Power is within us to create the lives we want. The life we dream about and the life that we were born to live. You have to claim your personal power.
What would you life look like if you owned the bitch within and gave up complaining? If you took responsibility and started being a woman and owning the Bitch within? I invite you to add your comments in the box below.
Accepting yourself is a big step, but it is the most important one of your life. Affirmations are part of accepting yourself. Go through your day and say “I accept myself” over and over again. Keep saying it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Eventually, it will start to break through and you will understand that you need to accept yourself.
Your assignment is to write a self-accepting promise. Write down all the things you need to start to believe about yourself. If you cannot think of anything, take all of the negative things you say about yourself and reverse them. For example, “I will never find a good partner” to “I deserve a loving relationship.” Here is my self accepting promise to myself:
Self Accepting Promise
I love myself and that helps me love those in my life and those who come into my life.
I will accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.
I am beautiful, loving and kind.
I will not place judgment on myself or others.
My life is a contribution to the world.
Without me the world would not be the same.
I will never force love from another.
I am worthy of all relationships that honor me.
For, I am a woman of grace, dignity, courage and joy.
I am a reflection of life itself.
I respect myself and I respect others.
I love myself and so others love me.
I honor myself and so others honor me.
There is no other me ever.
I am compassion for myself and so others are compassionate with me.
I promise myself that I will always speak my truth with love.
I will be forgiving when I have forgotten who I am.
I will be compassion.
I am power, success creative and abundance.
I am fully provided for.
I have fear but fear does not have me.
What is your self accepting promise? We invite you to comment below.
Last night I went out for a drink. I was feeling pretty sexy and strutted down the street with my 5 inch heels and my very cute purple jeweled dress with the appropriate plunging neckline. I make my way to the bar. When I go out alone, I usually sit at the bar because the bar is where you have the best chance of meeting people to talk to. I love talking to people. You might say I will only meet men at the bar, but I meet a lot of people.
Anyway, I’m sitting at the bar and here comes this attractive men – tall, dark and well-spoken etc. He asks if he could talk with me. Sure! He starts talking about his life and how cute I am, which is always fabulous. He tells me he finds me sexy. Great! I put in a ten minute effort to get dressed, plus the beautiful Yves Saint Laurent lipstick that I spend $40 dollars on that day with my Mascara that I purchased for $25.00. I had a $100 face on. Lol. What the hey, I was looking good, feeling good and yes smelling good.
He pats my hair then tells me he’s been dying to do that. What the hey; I say. Men are always wanting to touch my hair. I guess it the gives them the caveman experience they like re-enacting. Anyway, he goes on to tell me that he is married; red flag. 30 years, he loves his wife. I say great.
Rule number one I don’t date married men. So he tells me is wife is on long island tonight with their daughter. I say great. He tells me he used to be a NBA player back in the 70s I say great. He tells me he owns restaurants and he’s got a comfortable life for himself, I say great. I’m listening.
Then he comes the sob story I have to take out my tiny violin. I love my wife but my wife and I don’t have sex. I saw that coming a mile off. I say Great. So I ask what is that has you not have with your wife? He rambles on about she has always let him have one night stand with the rule of not falling in love. So he has lived his whole married life with this conversation and level of freedom. So when did you and your wife stop having sex? One year ago. She became angry. She cut him off. How do you feel about this? I don’t know. Are you sad about it? He describes his wife as an elephant. What do you mean by that? He says that she has a large memory. She never forgets the past. I ask him if he loves his wife. He says absolutely. She is the mother of his children. He is not leaving her. He has another woman that he has been seeing her for years. So why are you trolling for another woman. Least of all me? He was very straight forward. He told me he would like to get naked with me. After he told me he had a full hip replacement because of his life playing sports. Hey. Anyway, I asked him a few more questions, do you want to have sex with your wife? He starts joking about how he want to get naked with me. I was grossed out but smiling and thinking of a large chunk of plastic.
I asked him what had him marry his wife and stay so long. She allowed him to do what he wanted, she was sexy etc. They went to college together, she did his papers. She was available for whatever he wanted. She traded for the good life. He said he hurt her emotionally not physically. He was not rough with her. She is a great woman. He loves her.
His wife was hurt, she had given him space to be. However, now she was upset about her choices. She shut down and in-turn shut him down. He was sad, upset and remorseful. His commitment for his wife is amazing; his love for her is great. He’s dealing with his behavior. He’s afraid of losing her and he is about to lose her if he does not taken fast action. Then I notice his eyes well up with tears, his lips going in and out quivering. He’s crying now. Noreen, you made a grown man cry. I asked him if he was crying and he said yes. I acknowledged his tears and his commitment to his wife. It was clear to me. He cried some more.
I know that he did not get dressed this evening to go out and pick up a woman that would go toe to toe with him about his life and make him cry. Dude no sex happening over here? He was moved and talked some more still crying. He thanked me and said I will talk to my wife. I gave him my number and he said he’d like to talk with me again. He’s been trying to work this out for ages.
Can you imagine? What I do know is this man loved his wife. Having sex with strange woman just kept his self-loathing and encouraged his habit of not being responsible and honest with himself in first place. So that was my night. It was fun. I looked sexy. I had a philander cry and made a difference in his life.
“But right now, I have no goals; I’m just like a bum.” Usain Bolt.
They came, they conquered or were conquered. They all achieved their goals, some will play again. Some will never compete at this level again. Some will go onto to train others by giving away what they have accomplished becoming coaches or leaving the sport of their passion entirely. However, all of them are winners in their own right.
Michael Phelps, is still the fastest man in water, and now to add to his list of accomplishments breaking the all-time Olympic Medal record. The old record was 18. The most medals were won on land by a gymnast, Larisa Latynina. Michael record was won in the water with 19 medals. Her record took 70 years to win. Michael’s record, who knows where or when it will be broken?
Phelps came and accomplished everything he and his Coach Bob Bowman set out to accomplish. His coach put him through many rigorous tasks. His coach readied him to be able to swim blind only being able to count his strokes in previous last Olympics. Who knew?
The fastest man in the world “All Day Everyday” Usain Bolt ran for 36.84 seconds for the 100 meters. What makes Usain Bolt so amazing? Well, he has all the physical skills possible to attain his goal. Actually the bigger question is what makes anyone of these athletes so amazing and powerful? Yes they have the drive. They’ve developed the skill, and they have the passion. There is one thing that they also have. They have coaches. Their win is also their coaches win. They have coaches that help them plan what’s next. The coach is in the background. Very rarely is the coach in the foreground. However, the drills that get done, the practice over and over again are planted and take root in the athlete mind, bodies and action are planted there by their coaches. The Coach, who each and every one of the players love and respect. Their coaches are the muscle behind the curtain.
A coach will go to any length to train you to be number on in your level of performance. A coach will stretch you in ways that you can never stretch yourself. Your coach is able to have you be all and more of what you want to be; always in the background, knowing your game, making sure that you know your game.
Usain Bolt has conquered all his current goals. He came to be a legend and he is now a legend. He say’s pertaining to what’s next for him “Right now nothing. I’ve done what I wanted to do. My coach and I will discuss what we need to do. But right now, I have no goals; I’m just like a bum.”
“I’ve done something that no one has done before, which is defending my double title,” Bolt said. “Back to back for me, I would say I’m the greatest.” So would say that kind of confidence is arrogant. I would say that is a person that knows what he came to do and did it despite the media comments. He fulfilled on the measure. Confidence is something that gives you a sense triumph. A Coach is someone that makes you triumphant.
What do all of these Athletes have in common? Yes, they have coaches and they take the coaching. The coach keeps them out of their head and in the game. Who keeps you out of your head and in your games in your life? When things are not working, or working the way you want them to do? What do you do? How do you win in the games that your create for your life? Do you quit at the slightest incongruence? Or do you just give up at the mere thought of what you think will take place? Who helps you build the weak muscle in areas of your life that you would like to transform?
Having a coach will help you transform old patterns and limiting behaviors. Find out more and read my testimonials of the successes that I have helped my clients accomplish and more.
• What area of life are you tired of recreating over and over again?
• What is the result that you’re not getting?
• Are you waking up exhausted at the mere thought of another day being unfulfilled?
• What are the wants, needs or desire that are not being fulfilled?
• Are you doing the same thing over and over again looking for a different result?
Take Action! Get a coach that can have you be accountable and have you develop the confidence to go after your very own personal Olympic dream.