Last week we were talking about defining your own sexuality. I asked you ” who do you think you are?”. It wasn’t meant to be asked in a tone with attitude. It is more of a definition of your sexuality. Its the kind of who do you think you are that rocks your boat. This question has you get up in the morning and look forward to your day. It’s the kind of question that when you think about it your mouth salivates, your fingers itch and you cannot wait to get share how you feel. That is the kind of who do you think you are that is interesting.
The sad thing is that many of you have had the “who do you think you are” beaten out of you. When the question gets asked of you, you find yourself shrinking, experiencing confusion and feeling put out. Very few of you can answer this question and get excited about sharing. Most of you were taught not to brag about yourselves or your interests. It is as though you never got emotionally feed. You had to find ways feed yourselves which kept many of your interests squashed.
So what happens when you feel squashed? Many of my clients experience a hard time going after what they desire. They are good at their jobs. They have successful businesses and make money, but when it comes to their personal needs, they gets put on the back burner of their life. They have a hard time going for what they want for fear of not getting it right. Adults need to get things right which in turn gives them no freedom.
Their dreams can get so clouded over they don’t know what they want for themselves and their lives. They have a hard time asking for help and support and don’t believe that they can get it. They feel that something is wrong with them if they seek support. Many don’t believe they deserve help and will sabotage their successes by not doing the work. However, when this becomes clear, they are able to flourish. They sabotage themselves because they are always the person doing the helping and are confused and frustrated when they need the help. All this confusion and fear kick in.
Most of all you are afraid to go after what you want. You are so afraid that you will be less attractive, seen as aggressive, and in some cases odd, if you go after what you want with fervor. You fear you might will be all alone Andes a result, you worry so much that you can’t have a life of fun, happiness or a find a life partner.
It is important to really think about who you think you are. What is important to you? It is important to gain clarity and live in a world that you create for yourself with your rules. When you know what is important to you and take the steps to develop the confidence to go after it, you will be confident in the world of who do you think you are. Also, when you know who you are, you will learn that you are an evolving individual who can recreate yourself as often as you like. If you feel that you’re sexy, hot, and the cat’s meow, you will be a bag of chips and all that. Furthermore, your way of being will echo into the world. Who do you think you are? Think about it and be it.