Stop Reliving Your Past, Live In The NOW

How Do You Feel


When you think of a bad experience that happened in your past, do you notice how you feel it in the present moment? It feels like it is happening right now.  You feel right now the way you felt when the situation happened, you feel the same sadness and upset.  We rarely focus on the good things that happen, but we can always in a pinch, think of the sad and soul robbing situations.  Do you think that sad or upsetting situation is of any benefit to you?  All this past experience does is make you remember and feel pain.  Does dredging up the past stop you from experiencing it again? Well it can, if you use it as a learning experience.  But it you don’t, it will be an experience that remains painful.  It will be like an instant replay, going around and around in your head, making you into a victim that still feels powerless.

Picture of worried woman

Stop Being A Victim


So if you want to continue to feel sorry for yourself and behave as though you are a victim, by all means go ahead.  But, as a Personal Life Coach in the area of Confidence and Self Esteem, I can tell you that you will continue the vicious cycle of pain with no real personal growth, but the choice is up to you.
If you are willing to stop and see what you have learned from this experience you will never have to bring that experience back into your life.  You will learn where you did not take responsibility for yourself, and where you did not truly value your self-worth.  Once you see the lesson, you can give yourself the pleasure of developing character traits that will have you end the replay, enabling you to go forward in your life.

Stop Living As Other People See You

Many people were raised by parents and experienced family members that have a tremendous amount of warranted, and unwarranted complaints, or just plain disdain for them.  But stop for one second and have a look at your life.  Look at the obstacles that you have overcome.  Look at the strengths that you have developed.  We use resistance training to develop our bodies.  Maybe your parents and family members were your resistance, enabling you to develop something within you.  If only you could reflect a minute longer in the positive and look at your life in the now instead of the past, you can see the greatness that resides within you.  If you could step out of the pain and own into your power, you would no longer need to introduce yourself as your past.

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Case study:

A female professional who worked hard, is extremely smart, and a risk taker despite her external conversations about fear.
Past:  She did not have this or that. She was not loved and lost family members.  She had only her basic needs met as child.
Present day:  On meeting this woman, I had to hear what she went through as a child; what she experienced with the tears and the upset, how she suffered, etc.  She was a victim and decades later she is still a victim.
Actuality:  She is successful in her current career, has impeccable taste in clothes and all things beautiful, and very well put together. She is very loving, but also very defensive, and has difficulty receiving.
Being so entrenched in her past she cannot see her present situation, neither can she see her future.  The thing about the past is that when you are unhealthy regarding your past, you will fight tooth and nail to keep yourself stuck in it.

What You Can Do

If you are experiencing issues from your past, commit to working on being devoted to giving it up and changing direction in your life by being present and thinking differently.  You have a habit.  You are familiar, secure and comfortable with the tears from being upset and angry.   Try on a new coat by giving it up NOW! Keep in mind that if you want it back, it is only a thought away.

 

The moment you realize that you are not your past, you begin to have a past, and learn that life exists in the present moment.  Life gets created in the present and we are always living in the now.  Two minutes from now is the now.  Two days from now will be the now, two years from now will be the now.  We are always in the now, going to into the future and looking at the past from the now.  So place yourself firmly in the now and create NOW!

 
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Be About Expansion

In times when the market is down, all we hear about is how to cut back.  My neighbor, an attorney, says that his job is slow, while another friend says “thank God I have other things to do.”  All around me I hear that times are tough and we all need to cut back. But my friend, a market researcher, is expanding and creating other opportunities.  Instead of cutting back and holding on to every cent like it is the last she will make, she is taking her time and energy and putting it into a new enterprise.

I know that many people can relate to cutting back.  However, how do you cut back on the things that are important to you?  There’s a misconception that cutting your expenses equals saving money. While cutting expenses provides you with a great opportunity to save money, you need to take an additional step to actually make the savings work.

I have recently had a lot of conversations with people who are stressing out about the economical situation.  However, when asked how the stock market has affected them, they actually do not know.  Yes, the stock market has affected us all.  My portfolio has decreased significantly.  However, there are opportunities available.

Now that you have cut back on your expenses and you have that extra money, what steps are you going to take now?  What happens is that many people cut their expenses, then take the money and place it somewhere else other then paying off debt or in putting it in savings.  Most people make a savings in one area, and spend extra in another area, so the saving never materializes.

How can you know if you are saving or losing if you have no idea what your expenses actually are?  As a coach, I have clients who are always looking for opportunities to save money.  However, they have no idea how much money they spend.  They do not have a budget; they do not know what their expenses are. They are afraid to look at their credit report so they assume the worse.

Be Expansion- look for other opportunities, look at your skills, look at things that you are good at: Can you sell them? What do you enjoy doing, can it become a service?  Do not fall into parroting, e.g. people are not hiring, people are not buying, assuming that people do not want and have stopped spending money.  There are people who are not as affected by this economical situation.  People’s houses still have to be cleaned, people still have to eat, children and the elderly still have to be watched, people still want to look good.  Find out what your thing is and create opportunities to get it done.  In NYC, people have created clothes swaps to remain in fashion, offer your services to coordinate clothes swapping parties.    There are a lot of creative opportunities out there, change you conversation about cutting back and create a conversation about expansion.
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The Art of Manipulation

Have you ever had a friend that just severs ties with you and you don’t know why? 

 

Well, I have.  This was a person that I had known for nearly 20 years.  I considered our relationship to be one that was exceedingly valuable.  It was a friendship filled with fun, laughter and travel.  Even though there were significant differences in each of us, I accepted our friendship for what it was.  I loved to talk; my friend was more of a listener.  I loved to do and take action; my friend would rather leave things alone. I bought things that I loved; my friend bought things based on economical value.  I am a communicator; she left things unsaid. I cleared things up and got on with the business of life; she kept malice.  I know that no two people can ever be alike, not even siblings, so to expect any more of my friendship with her was based on clarity up until our friendship ended.

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Photo by woodleywonderworks

During my friendship, I never judged her; I accepted her and our differences.  Then one day I called her and she did not return my call.  It remained unreturned for one day, which turned into weeks, then turned into months, and now has turned into years.  The fact that she didn’t return my call or contact me still concerns me.  During that time I sent her emails, and I continued to call her worried that something was wrong.  Never once did she pick up the phone and call me.  This type of behavior is selfish and just plain wrong; it is called Manipulation.

 

Manipulation is a very sneaky and cowardly way of behaving.  It is a very disempowering way of being. The manipulator appears to have the upper hand because the person they are trying to victimize has no idea what is going on with them.  It is a way of controlling situations where you clearly do not have any power.  Powerful people state what is going on with them clearly and precisely, they do not feel the need to control or use manipulation as a way ending relationships.

 

Little did I know that my friend had malice toward me, and was using her manipulation to control this one sided situation.  An adult who has strong boundaries and a good sense of esteem allows a person to know that they have been offended or had a boundary broken. A confident person will not have another person going around in confusion, not knowing what it is they have done. With regard to my friend, how was I ever to know what it was that I was supposed to have done to warrant being banished? I was never told.

 

For me, it is not only the loss of the relationship that was upsetting, sad and disappointing, it is also not knowing what it was that I had done;  the incompletion of the end.

 

Today, six and a half years later, I am still in the place where I have no idea what I have done.  This is the kind of non-communicational manipulation that destroys numerous people, leaving them afraid to develop relationships and trust people.  Today, six and a half years later, I am not upset or disappointed for the loss of the relationship.  I now know that these were my expectations not hers.  So, I have given up my disillusionment.

 

Friends have disagreements.  It is important to share what it is you want or don’t want.  It is important that you share with others when you feel that you have been offended in some way or if you have caused some kind of upset, to be able to share in a way that will help clear the upset and help you remain in a positive friendship.  If the relationship should crash and burn, at least both parties will not be left in the dark.  They can agree to disagree and part amicably.

 

Take responsibility for your actions; take responsibility for your upsets.

 

People have feelings and even if you do not value the relationship, stop for a minute and know that it takes two to have a valuable relationship and maybe your friend values this relationship even if you do not. To be in communication within a friendship is learning to accept your friend for all they are and all they are not.  These steps are the makings of great friendships.

Mind Your own Business

Each and every one of us was put on this earth to do something. 

 

It does not have to be saving the earth, you don’t have to find a cure; you have to know what it is you want for yourself and your life.  So it is your birth right and duty to get on with it. Many people are afraid to do what they desire to do.   They believe happiness is measured by a percentage of about 75-90%.  They are afraid of what people will think of them. The have no idea of what their life could look like if they had the whole 100% that they are seeking. So they live their lives doing what they think their friends and families want them to so.   They do things to please other people and neglect themselves.  They have careers they don’t want and are miserable with the other 10%.  It’s none of your business what people think of you.  Do what you want and just  be happy.   Stand strong, self-validate and commit to being a contribution to someone of something.  Your happiness will be fulfilled. 

 

Discovery

 

What I have discovered is that most people want to make a contribution to others.  It is always described as, I want to help people.  I want to teach people and I want to make people happy. It is always for other people.  It is important that we understand that we share.  In order to share, we have to have.  So to give happy, you have happy, so you share happy.  The next thing that happens after a declaration is the fear of what people will think of them.   They start to worry and stress about what they’re afraid of and what people might think about them.  The truth is that people think all sorts of things and very few of those thoughts will be about you.

 

Sitting & Listening

 

I had the pleasure of sitting for an artist who is unbelievable and exciting.  This artist a woman who is in her sixties, she paints men and women in the nude. Being painted in the nude is the epitome of full disclosure.  This extremely talented woman, this artist was being very unhappy, unproductive and stuck. I listened to her talk about her life and her art; her life sounded like a very exciting life. She spoke of herself as a woman that had marched to her own drum, lived a life filled with passion and pleasure and has made a contribution with her art healing people and freeing them of their self loathing issues, cause by various negative experiences.  As she cleared how she was feeling, she was able to discover that her unhappiness was caused by her belief.  That belief was what a friend and colleague had said about her.  This colleague was someone who she had respected.  Basically, she was not allowing this person to have an opinion.  She started to believe what he said was true.

In a moment, this woman, like many people, was killing herself off.  She was not being an artist, she was not being successful, and she was not being vibrant.  She was doubtful, fearful, believing in scarcity, and not minding her own business.  By not minding her own business, she was minding the business of her friend that she had allowed to hex her.  This hexing had had ripped the passion out of her life and was robbing her of her vibrancy on a moment to moment basis.  She felt that she could not paint – that her creativity had gone.  She was lost and slowly going into energy bankruptcy as well as a financial bankruptcy.  How can a woman that had had a vibrant life all of a sudden have a sense of loss and lose her creativity?  Well, when you do not mind your business closely, you allow other peoples thoughts and opinions to rob you of your passion.  If hexing someone was a crime, then many people would be found guilty.

 

You don’t want people you love and respect to say anything to you that appears negative.  However, people just like you have the right to say anything they want and you have the right to listen or not.  Where you get caught and hooked is you that you make what they say mean something.  Simple example:  Person A says: I don’t like that painting.  You make it mean:  I am not a good artist, I can’t create and it goes on and on.  So now you walk around with that belief. I am not a good artist, I can’t paint and I have no creativity and no one will buy your work. It belief gets bigger and bigger and you in turn get smaller and smaller, you begin to feel insecure, and shut down.

 

It is important to learn that what people say is none of your business. 

 

Your business is your life, your thoughts about you.  It is important that you remain positive and understand that these sorts of statements are not personal to you.   That is what happened with this woman.  She forgot who or what she was up to in her life.  She forgot that art inspired her life and the life of the people who bought her art.  She forgot that she had a mission her in her world and that and only that was her business.

 

When we learn that it is none of your business what others say or think about you.  You can say thank you for your opinion and mean it.  Your life expands and you go back to the business of fulfilling our life mission.
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Case Study – Lori K.

Lori is in my Live Life Your Way (LLYW) maintenance program.  I have worked with her for over five (5) years.  She has completed the Honorable program and continues with coaching because she derives a tremendous amount of value from the process.  She has gone from weakness to strength in her life and relationships, with me as her Personal Life Coach. Lori has expanded her life in general, is in a better place financially, is in a healthy committed relationship, has better relationships with her family and friends, and she travels extensively for work and pleasure (more for pleasure).  But most of all, she is confident in and with her life, recognizes the universe will provide when she is clear as to what she wants, feels deserving of good things, and feels powerful.

 

When I first met Lori, her personal confidence and self esteem had taken a big severe hammering. She was an unhappy professional woman who was stuck in her life. She had a job that didn’t suit her, her home and work environments were dismal, the relationship with her then boss was very depressing and difficult, her office had no windows and she was underpaid.  This made her very unhappy which in turn had her stuck.

 

Lori spent most of her nights and all of her weekends doing what she knew to do, sending out resumes and looking for a new job. She had no personal life, 5 cats, ten year old furniture that was left over from her college years, and her apartment would fill up with the marijuana smell from the neighbor below. To add insult to injury, one of her cats was sick, which had Lori spending $500+ per month on medication and vet bills.  She had no boyfriend and had not been on vacation in years; her social life was, in a word, unfulfilling.  She was also suffering from weekly migraines, was overwhelmed and a people pleaser.  She did not love herself or like the person she had become.  Her family life, like many, was dysfunctional.  Lori, a very loving and giving woman, had never bought herself a pair of shoes costing over $60 and she had no savings. Lori also had a long list of things which included day to day things, as well as life things, that were simply left undone because she had no time to do them.   She had a To Do list that was 5 pages long and growing.

 

However today, this woman is being paid almost twice the amount she had made when I meet her and she has a job that she absolutely loves that takes her all over the country. She has a wonderful home environment including new adult furniture, “she got a man” (a relationship of three years now), her relationship with her family and friends has shifted enormously in a positive way, she considers herself prosperous, she is migraine-free, and she has met many of her personal goals after putting out all the emotional fires in her life. Lori has fun now and is excited about life. She recently bought herself a brand new car, vacations often, swam with dolphins, and on July 30, 2011, she is moving into a beautiful home with her boyfriend. She takes excellent care of herself and has money in the bank now.  She has stopped being a people pleaser. She is confident and feels deserving now. Lori has learned many life lessons that will keep her from becoming emotionally stuck or having her personal confidence and self esteem take a hammering ever again.

 

As a coach, I am committed to having people shift their lives.  I am committed to having people have fun and take full responsibility for the things that they are passionate about.  Lori is my ideal client – she is committed to having the best in life and the best life ever.   I can say that I am proud that I am her Personal Life Coach and excited about supporting her to accomplish all she wants to do.  As a life coach, I am a committed listener, sounding board and your accountability partner.  As your coach, there is nothing that I cannot hear.  I am open to hearing everything that you want to experience and are currently experiencing – the good, bad, and the different.  I am not here to judge or assess you.  I am here to help you clear the debris; face the fear, challenge the challenges and Live Life Your Way.  I love what I do and I do it with great joy, pleasure, and enthusiasm.

 

Consequently, Lori is still willing to face her fears head on, and continues to build her confidence and self esteem. She has found that working with me as her coach has transformed and continues to transform her life.  I am the perfect coach for her and she is the perfect client for me as she wants her life to be “all it can be” and is continually committed to the process.
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Friends, Love and Understanding

Friends are important to me.

One thing I know is that I have a gift for making friends and I love the friends I have.  It has nothing to do with the length of time that I know them.  It has to do with the love that I can now share. I do not like releasing friendships.

What I didn’t know about myself until recently is that I never gave myself permission to not be a friend.  I believe that I can find the best in everyone, I  didn’t have to not like a person because they had certain characteristics that didn’t not work for me.  I thought that if I found the qualities that I liked in them, it would outweigh the ones I didn’t.

My Personal Story

My trip to Jamaica with a friend was an experience. I will forgive yes but forget because it was a valuable learning tool.  It was an extremely volatile and sad experience for me.  I accept that I had been avoiding some harsh realities.  My friend whom I have grown to love, had some behaviors that were not personal to me, but they were bad behaviors never-the-less and though I knew they existed, I did not want to see them in my world.  These behaviors had been exhibited last year, so I was knowledgeable about her extremes.  Even though I knew her behavior might be something that I would experience first hand, I neglected to accept it.  I did not face my own truth and follow my intuition.
Therefore, May 2011 became my turn.  Based on my commitment to supporting people develop confidence and self-esteem with my commitment to myself to not to have vulgar exchanges with any other human beings, I left my friend to experience her volatile tantrums on her own in the parking lot of our beautiful resort.
My friend is a very intelligent and professional woman who is a little stuck and unhappy.  When upset like many individuals, she finds it difficult to express herself and is taken away with emotion that is too much for her to handle.

What I Discovered


Anyway, being a Personal Life Coach and working in the area of confidence and self-esteem while also being committed to using my words to empower. (I like all humans feel the fight or flight emotion)  I knew my friend’s behavior was volatile, I recognized it very early on in our relationship.  I recognized all the signs, but because it was a very young friend, I chose to allow her to be who she was.   In the beginning, I would mention her behavior.  However, since she did not hire me or ask for my support, I decided to choose which hill I wanted to die on.  Plus, people do not welcome unsolicited instruction.  So, I would leave it at that.
What I have discovered, and now own and accept, is that there were people in my life that had a lot of behaviors I did not agree with, but I chose to keep them in my life always seeking the good, repeating my personal mantras “They’re nice” or “They’re fun” which there were, at times.  But not realizing that I was also fun, I was also nice and that it was time for me to let these people go.

I also realized that I wanted some new friends that had similar qualities that were important to me.  Example:  Friends that liked people, who shared themselves freely, with similar interests, and for the relationship to have a loving quality to it.  What I discovered was that it is not my friend’s responsibility to bring the fun or anything I wanted, it was mine.   I realized that these relationships were my doing!  I had created these people from a lack of value that I had about myself.  It was my choice, I had brought these people into my world, and it was my responsibility to value myself and recreate friendships from a place of inner confidence and self-esteem in my world.
Removing them did not mean I had to disregard them and or make them wrong.  What it meant for me was being truthful with myself and cutting the cord with this friend, as painful as I thought it was.  It was important to cut cords and still feel love for them with no upset, no jellies in the pit of my stomach.  I could still be polite, loving and wishing them happiness in their respective lives yet moving on in mine.
I learned in that precious moment that I could still love my friend.  The experience showed me that I loved and valued myself and releasing the friend was just releasing.  It was nothing else.

My Life Now


So I have released this friend and few others in a very short space of time, I have opened the door and attracted new people into my life that I am enjoying and love to be around.  I’m enjoy being with these people and they share that they really enjoy being with me.   All the things that I bring to my friendships are reflected back at me.
Ask yourself these questions:
What can you see from this learning experience?
Where in your life are you not giving yourself permission?
If you want something new, are you open to having it come from anywhere, anyplace, anyone?
This experience happened to have me get aware of new opportunities.  Where are your opportunities?
What are you tolerating in your life?
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Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?

It seems like women are constantly being told what to do with their vaginas.  In the media, woman are told how to date, what to wear and how to think.  They’re constantly telling women what they should be, do and have.  If it’s not the media, then it is women feeling judged based on their circumstances and they are left feeling like they have no control.  For example, if women are unmarried or childless, it is deemed wrong in some way.  It’s time for women to stand up and realize that there’s nothing wrong and start really believing that you are worthy in spite of your imperfections.   If you find that there is something in life that is not perfect for you, only you can change it.  Don’t complain or fret as only you can change what you don’t like about your life.

As a Personal Life Coach, my commitment is in confidence and self esteem. I use the metaphor of the vagina to distinguish your individual self.  No two vaginas are visually the same and only you individually know what is going on in your vagina and its needs.

I’m always asking the question of “Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?” when I hear the media directing women on their life choices.  I have a very funny male OB/GYN; he is very good and service orientated.  Our relationship is very good and open. I feel I can ask him any question I can come up with.   Nevertheless, I remember going into him and describing a pain I had in my vagina after eating certain foods.  He told me that was not possible.  I looked at him and asked him “Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?”, he checked himself, laughed and apologized by saying how could he ever know what pain I was feeling in my vagina as he does not and never had one.  End of story.

 

So, I request of you today to take charge of your vagina and all that you are.  Do not let anyone decide for you what feels good or what you desire.  Just remember it’s your Vagina and you get to say how it goes.  You get to take responsibility.
I am saddened by how many women do not know the power of their Vagina themselves. As a Personal Life Coach, a lot of woman I  encounter don’t know or understand the control they have when it comes to their needs and desires.  They treat themselves and their vaginas, like a stray kitten waiting for somebody to rescue them, feel them up and give them an orgasm.  Then they walk away feeling resentful because they were treated poorly or bitch and moan when it’s doesn’t turn out the way they hoped.

 

Your Vagina, along with the clitoris, is an amazing structure; it is a sensitive organ and its sole purpose is pleasure.   Can you imagine? How fortunate, an organ for the sole purpose of pleasure.  What a beautiful thing!

 

My personal belief is that women should only release their pleasure organ when they want to and when they feel like it, no matter what.  With all the positive information in the media, women are still feeling the pressure to have sex when they are not interested or don’t want to. They feel pressure to be cute, to be accepted or just to not be rejected.  Sex is a wonderful experience when you want to have sex and not because you’re doing it for the approval of another person.

 

You are the pleasure you need, it’s built in.  When you do something for another person you are seeking something from them. This is done because you don’t have enough strength to really take care of yourselves or your needs. This is not just the practice of young women,  this is also the practice of older women as well.  It has nothing to do with age, educational or economical value; it has to do with personal value.  It is important to be able to speak up for yourself in the world, even in the bedroom or other places where you have sex.

 

It is important to know your vagina, and do only things that excite you. It is important to learn what gives you pleasure and turns you on. Get to know every pore, every corner, curve of your body and mind.  Become an expert on yourself and be able to drive yourself to the highest highs. 

 

After all, “Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?”  Consider if you cannot answer that question faithfully, you could consider using a Personal Life Coach until you can answer this question for yourself without hesitation.
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Be Yourself Already

Many women are stuck in their old ways of being.  They have limiting beliefs that are so far out of alignment with who they are today, that their concepts of themselves are out of balance.   They know that something in their lives is missing.  It is not a tangible thing.  It is a way of being, doing and having.  They know that their head and heart are out of sync.  They continue to harp on, talk about and create the same things all of the time.  They date the same men, or none at all.  They attract the same things or none at all.  They know intuitively that there is something that they desire but they cannot find the right magnetic energy.  They do not understand that their words have power and through their words they are recreating the same situations.   In response to this, I created a salon – Be Yourself Already.
Are you being yourself or are you stuck?

The questions I ask you are:
Who are you being?  Are you being yourself or are you being something that is completely out of alignment with your true God and Universal spirit?  Do you know that the more you become aware of who you are, you will become aware of your inner guidance and personal power?
Are you using material things to insulate you from really being yourself? Have you insulated yourself so much with things that the even the sheer thought of losing these things hurt so much that it shuts you down?
Do you really know yourself?  Have you ever taken time to be with you in silence?  Without the hum of the television, without drugs and alcohol, comfort food, you’re shopping jones, the constant chatter on the phone and having multiple mindless relationships or booty calls?  Do you know yourself without whatever vice you are using to cover up whatever it is you’re avoiding?
My big request is:
Be Yourself Already!  If you were to strip yourself naked, down to the core of who you are, would you know yourself, would you like yourself?  Furthermore, would you be comfortable?  Let’s go a little further- you lost your job, your house, your car, everything, all you had was just you.  Would you be comfortable with yourself, would you be yourself already?  Close your eyes for one minute and imagine if all you had was yourself and your imagination, how would you begin the process of recreation?  Do you think it is important to be yourself openly and honestly? Being who you are and not who you think you should be?
Are you speaking from a place of lacking or a place of abundance:
When you speak with your friends and people you know, do you continually speak about your problems and pain or do you speak about your abundant life and how happy you are?  Well when you speak of your pain and problems, people begin to form images as you speak and you transmit radio waves of emotions to them.  So if you’re a person that is continually sharing from the place of pain, then pain and problems will be how you show up in the world.  If you are a person that says they don’t trust or like people, or believes that continual happiness isn’t possible, then the life you have is the life you’ve created with the words that you’ve uttered.

Woman Without

My story of lacking vs. abundance
A few years ago after I finished my coaching certification at NYU I created a seminar with two women who were in my class.  I was very excited about the seminar and was sort of at a cross roads in my life.  I was giving up real estate which had been a large source of my income and identity for a number of years.  As a Realtor, I was used making great money.  The following nibble will clarify my lack.   My career as a real estate broker had a profound impact on me.  I was well known in the community, I was good at what I did, and I made money.  Real Estate had become my identity.
Becoming a Personal Life Coach and stepping out into an unknown field to do something that I was emotionally and spiritually drawn to was daunting.   I became  anxious as I did not know my capabilities yet in my new field. I was unsure if i could make a difference, attract clients, find my niche and lastly make an income.  So my conversations became one of lack.
At that time, all I could see was my bank account being sapped and me becoming poor which was one of my fears. (No longer)  This was not my truth.  I had been expressing myself to the two ladies who I was to partnered with to produce the seminar.  I had been expressing myself from a place of lack yet I did not know it.
Then, an issue arose that gave me clarity and transformed my life, we had to pay for the rental space.  One of the ladies, Jane, paid my share and I had to pay her back.  Paying her back was no problem at all.  However, my continuous conversation about lack had created a world for them where I would be unable to pay them back.  The night of the seminar, I had the money for Jane in my pocket.  But, we were so busy with everything that I got distracted and neglected to give her the money.  The money stayed in my pocket until I got home.
In the morning I was speaking with the other woman, Geraldine. I told Geraldine that I had Jane’s money.  Geraldine proceeded to tell me that both she and Jane were concerned that Jane would not get her money back.   My a heart sunk.  I have a commitment to always pay back my debts. Furthermore, the money I owed wasn’t even a large sum.  It was barely enough for me to have a great lunch and definitely was not enough to feed me for a week.  Regardless of the fact, in that moment Jane and Geraldine taught me a valuable lesson.  I learned that I had created a world for my partners, Jane and Geraldine, out of my conversation about lack.  Before that experience, I had no idea that I was speaking of lack and that I was creating a world for them where they saw me as poor.  In the moment from that conversation, I became extremely responsible for my speaking and learned to speak responsibly from a place of power.
With Jane and Geraldine, what I had been doing was planting and replanting seeds of lack.   I experience the power of my words.   I have a commitment to using my words and creating myself from a place of my own personal power.  I might at times slip up, like a child who sometimes does not have the skill to handle everything in my life perfectly or even beautifully.  But, what I do know is that I am being myself already! I have the power to know that I am growing every moment and that I do not have to go back to creating images that speak of or create images of disempowerment to others.
I accept myself already.

The woman I am is power, success, creativity and abundance.  That is who I am.  This is why I have created a special salon. I want others to be themselves already.  I hope you will join me.



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