I think I’m sexy, all that and a bag of chips.

If you cannot answer this question openly, you might have an issue. If you think the statement is presumptuous then you might have an issue. If you agree with this statement, you might have an issue with others. But do you care? I think I am all that and a bag of chips.

I went out with a male friend of mine the other night who, on making plans, said to me: “look sexy tonight.” I replied with “I am sexy all the time.” He asked “who told you that?” I replied “I did.” He then said, “you’re not sexy until I tell you that.” I laughed. I told him that I am like a self-cleaning oven and I can also self-validate. We laughed. I’m sure for different reasons. I, for my ability to self-validate and he, for God only knows what. What I do know is sexy is a tone, it is a way of being, not something one has to do and you can be as sexy as you choose.

Take a minute to hold that question and let it infuse on your mind then answer this question. Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips? Don’t automatically assume that it’s the kind of “who do you think you are” that belonged to your elders, and makes you feel uncomfortable where you are judging yourself against another person and making yourself wrong.

The kind of “who do you think you are” that I am speaking to and interested in is the kind where you know who you are intuitively and you have the confidence to share it proudly. Actually, it’s so clear you don’t even have to say anything. Its gets reverberated in your life.

It’s an experience of the days you recognize when you’re being so sexy that you hear it whispered in the wind, it’s just who you are in that moment. You are the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips. You know who you are. That’s the kind of “who do you think you are” that I am talking about. It has no words. It’s all being.

“Who do you think you are” can be translated for me: I am a woman, I am black, I am tall, I am English, and I’m a Confidence and self-esteem coach, daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson, 5’8″. “Who do you think you are” has nothing to do with any of those identifiers. That is not the kind of “who do you think I am” that I am even remotely interested in. However, that is not to say that those descriptions are not interesting. They are just facts that I am not interested in. They are the kinds of fact that you share with people to make acquaintances with. The meat and potatoes of whom you are.

The kind of who do you think you are that I am interested is an inside job.

• What do you love about your life?
• What are you passionate about?
• What are you interested in?
• What do you want to be remembered for?
• What are you proud of?
• What do people say they love about you?
• What contribution have you made and to whom?
• What’s one thing that no one knows about you and you wish they did?
• What are you willing to share about yourself?
• What are you afraid of?
• What are you excited about?
• What’s the most courageous thing that you have ever done for another?

The kind of “who do you think you are,” is the kind that rocks your boat and excite you. It’s the question that has you get up in the morning and look forward, it’s the kind of question when you think about it your mouth salivates or your fingers itch and you cannot wait to get back to or share. It is the kind of who do you think you are that you make pictures of it in the air. If you were a cartoon character it would pop out as an air bubble in the sky. That is the kind of who do you think you are that is generates your energy it interesting.

The sad thing is that many of you have had the “who do you think you are” beaten out of you. When the question gets asked of you, you find yourself shrinking, experiencing confusion and feeling put out. Very few of you can answer this question and get excited about sharing. Most of you were taught not to brag about yourselves or your interests, it was as though you never got emotionally fed. You had to find ways feed yourselves which kept many of your interests squashed.

So what happens when you feel squashed, many of my clients experience a hard time going after what they desire. They are good at their jobs, they have successful businesses, make money, but when it comes to their personal needs it gets put on the back burner of their life. They have a hard time going for what they want for fear of not getting it right. Adults need to get things right which gives them no freedom.

Their dreams can get so clouded over they don’t know what they want for themselves and their lives. They have a difficult time with themselves. They have a hard time asking for help and support and don’t believe that they can get it. They also feel that something is wrong with them if they seek the support of a coaches or a support system for many they don’t believe they deserve and they will sabotage their successes by not doing the work. However, when this becomes clear with commitment and understanding of their behavior they flourish. This sabotage is because they are always the person doing the helping and are confused and frustrated when they need the help. Lots of confusion and fear kick in.

Most of all you’re afraid to go after what you want as you are so afraid that you will be less attractive seen as aggressive, in some cases odd if you go after what you want with fervor you fear you might will be all alone you can’t have a life of, fun, happiness or a life partner with your endeavors.

It is important to really think about who you think you are. What is important to you? It is important to gain clarity and live in the world that you create for yourself with your rules. When you know what is important to you and take the steps develop the confidence to go after it you will be confident in the world of who do you think you are. It will not only be a thought it will become your reality. Also, when you know who you are you will learn that you are an evolving individual who is and can recreate yourself as often as you like. If you feel that you’re sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, you will be a bag of chips and all that. Furthermore, your way of being will echo it in the world.

Who do you think you are? Think about it and be it.

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

CALLING IN THE ONE UNAPOLOGETICALLY

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