I was sitting in my bedroom a few days ago and had a floating candle in a container of water. As soon as the candle hit the water, a small pool of water plopped up into the mold of the candle. The flame flickered for a moment and I heard the faint hissing sound of water and fire coming together. The candle flickered a little then the flame dwindled down getting smaller but fighting to stay alight. All of a sudden the flame went out and all that was left was a puff of smoke wafting up from the stem of the candle. As I sat and watched the candle slowly extinguished and the smoke billowing up like a curly fry, I wondered if that is what death would look be like. One minute you are a bright light dancing around in the universe and then, when your time is near, you dwindle down into a puff of smoke trying hard to stay alight.

Photo Courtesy of Angelina

In a moment, your life can be extinguished like the flame of a candle. In that same moment, your live can transform into something that we never ever in our wildest nightmare could ever expect. In a moment, we can make a choice to transform our whole lives for the better. Transformation of ones life takes courage.

It takes courage to say that we are not happy with what it is that we are being, doing or having in our lives. Many of us have no idea what being honest with ourselves could bring. Fear of admitting to ourselves that we are not happy, for some of us, is mind blowing.

We walk around pretending we are happy. When the truth is that we are upset and not taking responsibility for our upset. We blame everyone for our outcomes.

Renee’s Story:
Renee experienced unhappiness in the area of her romantic relationships. She had not been in a solid relationship for quite some time. The last relationship that she experienced was very painful. It lasted one and a half years and it took her another year to get through the experience. One year is equal to 52 weeks. Can you imagine being upset for 78 weeks? Renee wondered how she could be in a relationship with a man that she loved but did not like. Habit.

Photo Courtsey of Birta Ran

Renee realized that she did not feel that she deserved a loving relationship with a man that she wanted. She did not think that she deserved to have a beautiful man. She was not worthy.

So Renee started dating a lot of different men, looking for a man that she was compatible with. But, Renee had issues trusting men. Renee has discovered that she does not believe that she will find a man she can trust. No Belief + Doubt = No trust.

Now, Renee has learned that trusting herself to make the right choices will help her distinguish what is important to her and give her the courage to get the results she was looking for. Renee also discovered that she did not have a criteria for what she wanted from a man past the physical look of the man. Renee has begun create a new perspective for what it is she requires from a relationship.

Gaining clarity helps us all create what it is that we want in our lives. Sometimes we do not have the strength, or courage to gain clarity. It may take us a long time to realize that we cannot gain clarity alone – that is where a coach can come in and help you de-clutter your mind and life.

As a coach, it is very important to help clients visit what it is they want from the things they are trying to create. It is important that we create ideas and take action to get what it is we say we want. When we are in action mode, we begin to reflect and draw to us the man/relationship that is important to us. That is why it is important to be honest with ourselves. Lies to ourselves only begets more lies which begets us more of the same – and that sounds like the definition of insanity.

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