Find Your Voice. Gain Your Power.

Find Your Voice. Gain Your Power.

nikkytok/Bigstock
nikkytok/Bigstock

It’s time for you to speak up for yourself and find your unique voice. Create the way you want to be treated and live.  How will you ever find peace? If you allow people to treat you like a doormat, then a doormat is exactly what you will become.

Do you find yourself upset, resenting people, and not taking responsibility for what you say? Is your stomach constantly in knots? Do you find yourself swallowing your voice?  Then you might discover that the emotion behind all of this is your anger. You might be angry at your boss, spouse, friends or children –and most of all, you may be angry with yourself.

Are you getting assignments at your job that you don’t want?  You do it anyway, because after all, you’re good at it.  However, you’re now getting overloaded with work and you want to do something different, something with more zest.  But, you’re afraid to take a risk and ask for it.  You’re afraid of your boss, because you have all these misconceptions about him or her – she speaks fast, she shouts when she talks and this intimidates you, for you definitely don’t like confrontation.  You’re frustrated and afraid.  You feel confronted, you don’t know how to build up the courage to ask for what you want. You don’t want to be rejected, and so you suffer in a (loud) silence and continue on with the piles of work on your desk.

With fear of this kind, how will you ever get your boss or anyone to listen to you?  Subconsciously, you decide that you’ll keep doing the work you’re given and not make any waves.  In doing so, you allow yourself to get even more burned out and constantly feel upset.  You feel inadequate.  Now the job you once loved and were hired to do is becoming a very heavy burden. Instead of taking action and using your voice, you continue to get yourself worked up inside (for you dare not express yourself), and ultimately you become angry with yourself for staying silent.

As a result, everything in your life begins to get on your nerves, and you start a cycle of constant complaining.  The job that you once loved and fought so hard to get is now a burden as well.  Why? Because you believe that you are cowardly for refusing to stand up for yourself.  Consequently, you enter a state of constant mental pain and feel sick to your stomach every time you get in the car to go to work.  Furthermore, you’ve wearing out your friends with your constant badgering and you’re bringing that negativity into your home.  As a result, you start contemplating quitting and finding another job.

Quitting: How will this situation make your life better?  The fact of the matter is it’s not the job or the people, it’s you.  You find another job, but the reality is that you will remain the same until you get to the root cause of the issue.  You have not learned to speak up for yourself.  You are at the mercy of other people, hoping they will be able to read your mind. If you don’t make the decision to practice this and learn from your mistakes, you will continue to create this negative scenario over and over again. You start living in your head, creating self pity like “I am not appreciated.”  The more you say it, the more you believe it.  The more you believe it, the more it will show up, as you start looking for this self pity everywhere you go.

Finding your voice is an important achievement; it facilitates your ability to create yourself.  Creating and using your voice are two of the most important ways to have and live the life you want.  Imagine for a second what happens when you don’t have (and use) your own voice?  When you allow others to dictate your life by virtue of what they want because you allow them to control your voice?

Imagine again for a second that you create an abundant love for yourself and your voice. What would you be able to be, to do, to have in your life?  Would you have the ability to create confidence and self-respect? Would you be fully established and free to have a powerful, impactful voice?  Would your voice be an important factor in how you lead your life?  Speaking out our voice is the one thing that separates humans from animals and other primates. Communication using language helps you communicate your needs, wishes and desires to yourself and others.

Furthermore, the implication of not using your voice is the effect this silence has on your personal belief system. It becomes your reality. This is your life and you get to live it how you want.  It takes practice to release our negative habits, ideas and images of fear.  The first step is always the hardest, but if you do it, it will be the most memorable thing you accomplish and the spell will be broken.  Fear nothing, and you can attempt anything and everything.  But most of all, speak up for yourself, find your voice and display your personal power.

If someone asks you for a favor, first be clear that you want (or are able) to help them out. When you’re doing things you don’t want to do, this only creates resentment towards others and yourself.  Many people do favors they don’t want to do, and have not learned to tell someone “no”, or “I’m not the best person to help you with this”. Instead, many of us want to help too much, and when you live like this, you go against your feelings.  When you choose to be honest with yourself by honoring yourself, expect that some people will not like it, or that they could resent you.  People might think you’re selfish.  Nobody wants to be called selfish; everyone wants to look good and not lose face.  This often leads to a feeling of obligation in some way to another.

It is important to make your life, thoughts, goals and time your main priorities.  It is important to commit to yourself every day.  If you do favors you don’t want to do, you will get lost in the other peoples’ desires and expectations, making you feel bitter and upset. These feelings cause uncertainty of where you will be and about your choices. It is critical to be clear about what you will and will not do, as well who you truly are.  You can make your life a priority by being responsible acknowledging your thoughts and feelings when they arise. This commitment lets you be free to make the choices you want and take action, thereby providing you with a strong sense of who you are and allowing you to be happy with the choices you make for yourself and your life.

If you do not honor yourself, you will not be able to honor others. You will know when it is important to be selfless and when to flow with the priorities you have set in your life.

No, you cannot hang out at my apartment at 8:00am.  That might seem harsh to some people, but be honest with yourself what one will and will not do. It helps one feel better about oneself.  It is not one’s intention to hurt another’s feelings and also does not want to hurt one’s own feelings by saying yes when no is what is really meant.

Being honest with your desires provides your life with the respect it desires, as it frees you from creating resentment towards yourself.  Over the years, I have trained myself through pain and suffering that I must be honest with myself or as I honest as I possibly can.  Sometimes, it does not feel good to refuse a friend or a loved one.  However, when we respect our own choices, feeling good or bad has nothing to do with it.  We are just honoring our higher self and learn that we are not responsible for everyone’s happiness. And we realize that we cannot choose another’s happiness for them.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

You Have The Light, We All Have The Light

Natural landscape and sun rising at skyline

For a long time, I could not grasp conversations about the Light.  Your light, “She shines so bright”. “Your presence lights up the room”. “She brings the light.”  “She’s so bright”, and so on. What I used say about myself instead was: “I bring the party!” I never thought of myself as someone who brings the light. People would often talk about this concept with me and I had no idea what the light meant.  It would make me feel uncomfortable; I thought they knew something I should know and I just didn’t.  I would get frustrated – not angry really, just uncomfortable. However, I really had no clue about what the light meant.

I was used to hearing priests, vicars, and people of the clergy speak about the light and I’ve read about the light in the Bible.  I always thought the light was something that only people who were deeply religious experienced.  But I started to rethink my ideas when I started to hear it being said to me.

I was embarrassed because I did not really consider myself a “good person”.  I was the girl that always got into trouble in school. I was the sneaky, giggly girl with my conniving face, always cracking jokes.  I became the girl who was known to be a distraction.  Only good people or good girls had the light, people that could focus, pay attention and follow rules.  Not me.  I loved to giggle and laugh and I attracted (and distracted) many people in my desire for fun.

I now understand that everyone has the light and everyone is here to shine their light. It is the Godly, spirit light; no matter what you believe in, it still shines.  “You have a light”, I’d hear from complete strangers, people I just met, people I worked with – all kinds of people clued me in on this.  I’ve also heard you have a light that shines all over the place.  In the beginning of my understanding, I would think: “what the hell” they are talking about? To be honest, I was uncomfortable because I knew intuitively that the light came with some kind of responsibility that I did not know and I didn’t want to take on. I also knew I would find out and have to deal with it eventually.  It made my stomach hurt, triggering congestion in my solar plexus. I wanted to throw up but never could, and luckily the feeling would eventually pass.  Writing this article and sharing about the light, I feel vulnerable and exposed and still want to throw up to this day.

In life, sometimes understanding takes a (colloquial) minute for things to register – by register, I mean grow into a full understanding where it goes from theory to practice and then assimilation.  I soon started to realize what the light truly meant.

I have a light.  I started to own my light, fully embrace its power and build my confidence.  I started to do the things that were important to me, no matter what it looked like.  Honing my truth was not easy, and I had to take risks and be willing to fail, to feel hurt.  I did not and still do not want to feel hurt, disappointed or rejected.  I had to be willing to experience these lessons, and as a Personal Life Coach, I had to be a model for who I was teaching through my work.  Now don’t get me wrong here – I have my own unique journey, and as a Personal Life Coach, I respect that people each have their own journey.  I didn’t want to be like everyone else – knowing that I am just like everyone else, it is like fashion, we want something new and unique only to realize that everyone else is wearing NY black, we all have the ability to choose and make choices, take risks and fail.

I’ve seen the light in babies, I feel the light in people and I know that all people have this light somewhere inside themselves.  My clients learn to harness this energy by doing the things that expand their life and light when they work with me on their goals and partner with me as their Personal Life Coach.  I started to experience my own light and feel it, when I let go of my fears and concerns about things I could not control.  I started to understand and learn how to build my light.  It is built by the good, positive energy that we give to the world through our thoughts, actions and deeds.  I started to understand how to gain light. I did so by focusing on my work, coaching clients, saying generous compliments, sending out positive energy, loving myself and enjoying my work.  All of these actions honor both my clients and my own gifts. I see the light when I am happy and even when I am not as happy, and I know this light will never disappear.

I love when I have experiences which I now celebrate and call “Kiss Noreen Day”.  One Wednesday morning, at the Business Networking International Group (BNI), I was awarded the Golden Microphone by one of my colleagues after he had won it the prior year.  He awarded it to me for supporting him in an area of his life that was affecting his business and impacting his confidence.  I was truly honored and this was another opportunity to build even more light.  I appreciate love and light, I appreciate that he was able to accept my coaching, hear my suggestions and take necessary action to transform his life and business.  For me, making a difference as a Personal Life Coach is what I dedicate all of myself to.  I love it.

Today, I honor the gift of being a Personal Life Coach.  I honor my light profoundly, and because of this discovery, I can fully honor the light in my clients and everyone around me.  I love my clients and encourage people to see their own light and grow it.  Being fearless, forgiving others (and themselves) and displaying strength helps them expand their confidence and self-esteem.  I love the light, and I honor the light so that the light will honor me.

Here are parts of the past that we love to dwell on and sometimes wallow in. The present is where life exists; it’s what is happening now and is alive. The future is what we pray, hope and desire to live in and get to.

The past has teeth – or maybe dentures

The past has really strong teeth. The bite of the past can be one that is either relished or resisted. The bite depends on whether your teeth are real, or if they are dentures.  The strength of the past is clever, as it works with all human emotions.  It also works with our perceptions of the world – not the way things truly are but the way we see it or believe it. If we are stronger than the bite of the past, we display the courage to let go of the past and cut off the supply of nutrients it requires to feed off our memory.  Doing so will then lead us to making more realistic, workable choices. Our minds automatically use only the parts of the past that it thinks are valuable and rarely allows us to play in the now. Before we realize it, we take the same small steps into the future we have always taken, which rapidly become our past again.

The past can resemble an elderly person who has lived life from a place of complete joy, or it can look like a place of pure sadness. One of these pictures is happy and full of life, able to see things in a new way that brings continued happiness and joy. On the other hand, the person who has chosen to live an unhappy, distressed life sees everything as a burden, where every day is heavy and they are depressed, angry and don’t want to transform their situation; they are dying inside and out. They aren’t willing to attempt anything new or see life as a series of opportunities.  The past runs their life and they cease to grow.

The present is full of possibilities

Life in the present is spontaneous, open and full of possibilities.  The past is worthless and has no real place in the present. The past thinks it needs to be there in order to “protect” us.  In many ways, this is a good thing, because otherwise we would get run over, or fall down the stairs, etc. The present, however, is committed to the things that bring us joy, and moves life forward step by step, moment by moment.  The present is full of endless possibilities and where issues are forgiven and put aside; when a lesson is learned, what results from that situation can always be useful. There is never any right or wrong answers; there is only what actually happened. The present allows us to live our lives from a very powerful place, with a deep sense of awareness that creates a life of creativity, imagination and wow! The present makes room for trusting our intuitions, and is a place where many doors are always open in the now. It is place where we can live with a fresh outlook. In the now, all issues become relatively easy and accessible to us, helping us to achieve our goals that much faster.

The future makes no promises

The future makes no promises; it merely depends on one’s perceptions of life. Its view depends on how one holds onto that gentle glimmer of hope. The future has lots of different textures.  Some are soft and smooth, and others are hard and rough. The textures of the future are like the textures of life.  It all depends on the ones that one wants or feels attached to.  The future also can be held in the grip of fear – fear of the past.  Fear of repeating past mistakes.   The future makes no promises that your goals will be met, and it is always met in the now.

The future is patient; it allows for one step at a time in the now.  It likes the structure of making plans.  However, it is more likely to work out when a plan is flexible, yet unwavering in its commitment, and dedicated to being free from any type of attachment.  This is no easy task!

The future likes when you are clear about your requests and do not operate from a perspective of complaints. In combination with the present and the universe (life unfolding moment by moment), such a way of operating can only bring what is desired. It is required that you monitor your thoughts and remain present, free of doubt and fear, meticulous and present to negativity that enters your thoughts. Being free of all concerns is truly an impossibility – what is possible is noticing that you have doubts (or fears, concerns or considerations) and put them off to one side (do not operate from those concerns/considerations) because this is how you sustain your power. This means you can just be human and be superhuman at the same time.  To be both though means that you must be able to catch yourself when you do (or think) the things that don’t work for you.

The more authentic you are, the more you become aware of the powers of the past and what is in your now; only then can you feel the present clearly.  The future will take care of itself because of the observations and declarations you make in the now. You will see that the trio will be obedient to your wishes; keep in mind though that the past is always poised to infiltrate into whichever way you choose to go.

The past, present and future all hold incredible power. By using your mind to catch yourself, you can learn discipline and work consistently in the now! The key is working only in the NOW, as everything else is either in the past or the future.  These are places where you have absolutely no control, so there is no need to be concerned about the past or the future at all!

Noreen Sumpter

 

I am a Woman. Not a Bitch.

Bitch, what a Bitch, I cannot believe she’s so Bitchy, She is one hard Bitch. People will say all sorts of thing about you, Have you noticed when a woman is confident and feels truly good about herself, knows what she wants, has clear concise boundaries, is on her way to developing her personal power and awareness in a healthy way she is often referred to as Bitch or something else quite negative. Some of her friends might even say things like she has changed.  Of course she changed who wants to stay the same. Who wants to remain ignorant and insecure?  I don’t think any woman wants that.  Life is a series of choices and so we change. 10407999_10202924996459871_1227667475578912505_n

Well, I say to hell with it.  It is time to stop seeking external validation, being nice and living in guilt and being afraid and people pleaser, by downplaying your needs by putting yourself last. It’s time to own your personal power and deal with yourself by:

  • Owning the Power
  • Standing up for yourself,
  • Learning to be Selfish and pleasing yourself
  • Going for your desires.
  • Playing a bigger life game
  • Bringing forth your personal power

Yes, so what. The word Bitch might have negative connotations; but in some areas of life if you’re a woman on a mission and up to big things at some point you will be called a bitch to your face, but more often than not it’s behind your back.  It’s important to become okay with yourself the way you are and not feel you have to defend yourself against stupidity.

Human’s gossip, it’s normal. When people don’t know you they will make up all kinds of stories about you until they find out the truth.  I have a saying, if no one is talking about you, you really not up to much.  but, when you’ve learned to deal with fear and yourself the term bitch, will no longer have control over you and you’ll experience major growth and personal power, that any comment made about your persons will no longer produced a negative feeling or result, it will be like water of a ducks back.

A Woman Owning the Power Within

Loving your power within, In order to love the bitch, you have to know and own that bitch.  In this article, the power I’m referring to or creating is a strong, confident loving person that has healthy boundaries, knows that nothing is personal.  This Bitch accepts herself for all she are and all she is not.  She is grateful for her mind, potential and life and is willing to create anything she wants and experiences she know the mistakes she makes are a part of the journey of growth and development, knowing that nothing is ever really wrong, she is responsible for their life the way it is and the way it is not.  She is open to living a joyous life knowing that things happen for her greater good.  She knows she has choices and can complain or be a victim in a continuous cycle of negativity and righteousness rightly or wrongly.  However, she knows that life is a series of polarities.  The Bitch I speak too she is someone that has experiences in her past that cause her to have a limited perspective.  However, she has chosen to let go of them over and over again and remain present in her view of their life when the past presents itself, and having the past and all its negative experience fall off her like water off a ducks back.

Standing up for self

This Bitch she is okay with herself.  She sees no need in fighting fights of no possibility. She is smiling more often than not.  She is aware of the noise in her head and can silence it when it presents itself.  She has compassion for herself and lovingly let’s go when she is not being compassionate over and over again.  She knows how to use her past as a reflection of what she’s learned and knows that she has learned it so well that it will never have to be relearned again, she does this by acknowledging her positive past.  She is confident and can stand for herself and her beliefs without making another wrong.  Her belief are her beliefs and she shares them knowing that no one has to have them or agree with them.  They are hers until they too are discarded with her growth.

Learning to be Selfish and please self

She knows how to be selfish, however, the kind of selfish that she is, is knowing that she does not come from a deficit in any area in her life.  She is abundant in her way of being.  She does not give away what she cannot and does not have.  She gives 100% because she coming from a place of self-love, abundance and generosity.  Love of self, self-value, honoring and of worth.  Self-love is a heartfelt experience, being kind, gentle and giving unconditionally the love she has 100%.  This is not the kind of woman that is aggressive and negates other people’s rights.  She is empowered and thus empowers others.  She is willing to take responsible for her life and give up making excuses.  This is not the kind of selfishness that does not care about her effects on other people.  She is not aggressive with self-dominating or controlling others.  Being Selfish means that you make sure that you take care of self and when you are completely taken care of intuitively you have an abundance of self to give away.   When you say yes, you mean yes.  When say no, you mean no there is no questioning of choice.  Everything is sent out for the highest good and everyone receives the highest good back.   Now that’s not to say that you have never screwed up.  Screwing up help you see where you have no power.  So those nights and days spent upset afraid and hurt, have help you grow and develop yourself and your power.

Going for your desire.

She goes for, knows and asks clearly for exactly what she wants.  She also knows that clarity is one of the keys to having so she does not have to settle for less than what she wants.  Saying, she does not know is okay because she’ll find out.  She also knows that if she has the right to go for her desires so does everyone else.  Abundance is not just for her it is for the world.  Being fulfilled in all of her desires is important.  Furthermore, she has the power to reject rejection on all fronts so with that everything she desire is hers for the asking and expecting because rejection doesn’t really exist.  Rejection is really an inherited concept rooted in fear that’s been passed on and is rooted in one’s concept of life.  Desires are important.  She will ask as many times as it is necessary to get what she really wants.  She knows when she stops asking for her desires, it not that she cannot have it.  It’s that something better has shown up and taken it place. Desires are continuous and so we keep on asking until old desires are met and new ones are created.

Playing a bigger game

She knows that playing a bigger game in life does not have anything to do with size or amount, it means being authentic and honest with one’s, thoughts feelings not being attached to anything and any one.  Having the freedom live in expectation of one’s dream but always being unattached.  Being happy with her choices so that her energy can be directed where she would like it to be and free of anxiety.  She believes in herself and she believes that all things are possible.  She knows to achieve the life she wants and the game she wants to play believing in herself is a choice.  It’s an attitude that she has developed for herself overtime.  She does not blame her family for the hand that she was dealt, or the race, physical size or class that she was born into or with she knows that she is responsible for her own concepts and she can change them.  Her game in life is personal to her and no one ever has to agree or want to play.  She is okay about other people’s opinions about her games as she knows their opinions are none of her business.  She knows that opinion as like bellybuttons and everyone has one.  However, playing her game in accordance to her truth is paramount it’s a peaceful process so that her energy can flow so her thoughts and idea can come easily.

Bringing forth your personal power

The Complete Bitch has personal power is personal power she needs no reason, she just is.  It is your very own.  It is hers and hers alone.  She knows that I speak too knows that if she is going to be successful in her life in her own right, she knows that it’s the way she handles herself that has her be who she wants to be and Owning the power within.  She says who she is and it is none of her business what people think about her.  Personal Power is within us to create the lives want, the life we dream about and the life that we were born to live.  You have to claim your personal power.

Consider, what if you owned the Bitch within, gave up complaining, took responsibility and started being your full power. would your life look like?

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

What Do I Stand For?

What Do I Stand For?

I stand for love.

I stand for myself and my understanding.

I stand for risk and learning.

I stand for not being afraid to fuck up.

Friends may leave and not forgive the fuck up.

It’s God/Universes way of paring down the baggage

And letting me know they have the right to change their minds.

That’s deep learning.

I stand for fearlessness. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Own the fear, its ugly. Really ugly.

I stand for truth because it always prevails.

I stand for making my life and making my life right.

Sometimes life and the choices I make are right. However, they just don’t work.

I stand for feeling my feelings no matter how much it seems they hurt.

I stand for Victory. Doing what’s right even though I want to throw my hands in the air and say fuck it all.

At the end of it and inside of all of these experiences, I can look myself in the mirror and say, I fucking love you Noreen. You are indeed powerful and you are love.

I can feel good about myself and remain in alignment with the world and all its people no matter what is said.  I can walk the streets of my hood naked and feel the feeling but good with myself. I can express my scars and wounds with pride. I can carry my head high. I’ll smile when I see you. I’ll feel good about myself. I’ll know my worth, my love. I am safe in the world, I’m confident that love is present, I’ll have no regrets, I took the risk. I remain courageous in the unknown. I’ll be giddy with joy, that I’m truly free. Scoop myself up in my arms and say in a loud voice:

“Bring on the next adventure.”

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

20 Things To Do To Maintain Your Friendships

20 Things To Do To Maintain Your Friendships

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I am so excited to know that as long as I have an abundance of happiness and love, I am rich beyond measure. This fills my heart. My relationships with my friends and family are the cornerstone of who I am and how I live my life. If I kill off one person in my life, I feel a deficit.

What my friends can count on from me is that I will always clean up any mess I have with you. I will be 100% responsible for what I say and do not say, how I was being or not being. Just because our relationship is over does not mean I don’t and won’t love you. My love for you will never die, because there is a fine line between love and hate, if I resist my love for you I’ll be mad. So, I will use my love, where it will live as a warm memory in my heart.

Use these 20 tips to keep your friendships healthy.

1. Accept your friends as they are and not as you think they are (do this and you won’t be disappointed).
2. You and your friends might be similar however, you are different in a lot of unknown ways (this experience is sometime a bitch to learn).
3. Your experiences are yours, they are not theirs (share, share, share and don’t expect them to know everything).
4. Give your friends the same freedom you want in your life (don’t blame them for their choices).
5. Differences in friendship are what makes the friendship exciting and powerful (opposites create fun, courage and risk. Hello!).
6. Tell your friends what you expect. (They cannot and don’t want to read your mind)
7. Happiness is a subjective phenomenon; and is experienced differently by everyone. It means different things to each of you. (Variety is the spice of life)
8. Focus on what you have in the friendship and not what you don’t have.
9. Create with your friends what you are committed to in your friendship (Recreate it daily)
10. Honor you word in your friendship. (Do what you say you’ll do. If you can’t ,say so)
11. Know what you value in yourself so you can share it with you friends (Now they know)
12. Let your friends know that you value and love them
13. Don’t forget how it feels to receive respect and affection from your friends. (Express and share it)
14. Take time to celebrate yourself, and your friendship openly (I am so glad we are friends. I love you).
15. Recognize your friends and their strengths (My friend Kim has style, Jacquelyn is great with structure, Mike rocks the house with music. My sister makes my stomach muscles hurt with jokes).
16. We are humans and we all make mistakes, do not kill off your friends for mistakes (Gee, thinks everyone is a stalker because they love her)
17. Give to your friendships with an open heart
18. Don’t take your friendships for granted (furthermore, practice not taking yourself for granted).
19. If you have negative thoughts toward a friend challenge it and immediately create a positive thought (This takes mega practice).
20. Open your heart in your friendships. Be willing to be moved, touched and inspired with your friends. (I feel weepy, that was so special)
The happiest people have lots of friends, and have the ability to build supportive relationships and they spend time with happy people. Knowing your communication style is important as knowing how to share your affections and emotions, as well as building trust. It is important to spend time investing in and maintaining your relationship if you want to build a great friendships.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

20 Things To Contribute To Your Life’s Happiness

20 Things To Contribute To Your Life’s Happiness

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Contribute these 20 things to your life. If you practice them, they will make you happy.

  1. Stop all negative thoughts dead in their tracks as soon as they show up
  2. Do not, text, email, or call anyone when you are angry (I am practicing this one)
  3. When angry find the source of the anger and flush it down the toilet.
  4. Know that love starts and ends with you  (Love never ends, that’s why we get mad)
  5. Start accepting that you and your thoughts are the cause of everything in your life
  6. Happiness is a result of how you feel about yourself moment to moment (Is that why my hair is so great LOL)
  7. Cause someone else to be happy and you will be happy (Who wants to be happy? Lets play)
  8. If happiness is something you desire make something exciting happen for yourself instead of waiting for something to happen
  9. Be happy instead of in reaction. The only thing to react to is Joy and laughter
  10. Laugh 20 times per day. (Don’t question it Just do it!)
  11. Be a yes to love, joy and happiness
  12. Be ready to create a space of forgiveness
  13. Have enthusiasm and passion live together in the same space
  14. Honor your freedom and let others have theirs
  15. Spend time being grateful for how happy and great your life is, and if it does not look happy, fake it until you make it.  One baby gratitude at a time (something like, “I’m amazing when I smile”)
  16. The less judgmental you are of yourself the happier you will become.
  17. Do not put limits on who, what or how you love. Just love
  18. Do not complain to yourself or to others (This is a huge one, I still have a hard time with this one)
  19. The more you love the bigger your vison of life
  20. The more love you give away, the more love you receive back.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give.”  Kahlil Gibran

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

What’s Your Self-Accepting Promise?

Accepting yourself is a big step, but it is the most important one of your life.

acceptingAffirmations are part of accepting yourself. Go through your day and say “I accept myself” over and over again.  Keep saying it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.  Eventually, it will start to break through and you will understand that you need to accept yourself.

I encourage you to try writing what I call a “Self-Accepting Promise.” Write down all the things you need to start to believe about yourself.  If you cannot think of anything, take all of the negative things you say about yourself and reverse them.  For example, change “I will never find a good partner” to “I deserve a loving relationship.” Here is my Self-Accepting Promise to myself:

I love myself and that helps melove those in my life and those who come into my life

I will accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.

I am beautiful, loving and kind.

I will not place judgment on myself or others.

My life is a contribution to the world.

Without me the world would not be the same

I will never force love from another.

I am worthy of all relationships that honor me.

For, I am a woman of grace, dignity, courage and joy.

I am a reflection of life itself.

I respect myself and I respect others.

I love myself and so others love me.

I honor myself and so others honor me.

There is no other me ever.

I am compassion for myself and so others are compassionate with me.

I promise myself that I will always speak my truth with love.

I will be forgiving when I have forgotten who I am.

I will be compassion.

I am power, success creative and abundance.

I am fully provided for.

I have fear but fear does not have me.

What is your self accepting promise? I invite you to share your own affirmations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

5 Signs You’re Lacking Confidence

“Confidence is a characteristic that people recognize immediately it is a way of being, you either have it or you don’t, but it is often apparent on first meeting.  A person with confidence is like a ray of sunshine on a really gray day. Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.” Franklin D. Roosevelt 

confidence

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, confidence is a way of being. The first question that one should ask oneself is: Do I feel confident? If so, in what areas of my life do I feel confident? If you feel your confidence is missing, what areas of your life is it missing from?  How can you develop your confidence?

Confidence is something that is important in all aspect of one’s life.  It is important to have a healthy dose of confidence so that you can live your life comfortably and happily! It helps you connect to people in ways that open you up to say what you want, and allows you to share yourself and create feelings of connection.

Here are five key signs that you may be lacking confidence in your life:

  • Not being present in the moment
  • Not being responsible
  • Not having personal boundaries
  • Not having an authentic sense of self value
  • Not asking for what you want authentically & with integrity

You may find confidence to be missing in these areas/circumstances: career, relationships, after a divorce or loss of something or someone important, emotional loss, or loss of a personal experience that mattered in your life.

Understanding the power that having personal confidence provides open doors and enables you to create the life you want. Confidence is a development of self and that it is something that you can grow and develop within your life.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

 

 

Stop Resisting Your Higher Self And Listen To Your Instincts

Stop Resisting Your Higher Self And Listen To Your Instincts

Photo Source: createandconnect.org
Photo Source: createandconnect.org

Do you ever get a feeling of heaviness when you are doing something that you don’t want to do? For instance, there are people who are working at jobs they don’t want or do not like; dating people or hanging out with people who leave you feeling as though you have just run a race with ten sacks of potatoes on your back.

You are not following your higher self, or your instincts. When higher self and instinct speak to you, you feel joyful and happy, giddy with laugher. If you are forcing yourself to do something that is in the realm of “should,” you’re not listening to your higher self or your instincts.

I had a friend who was always negative and you could never tell whether she would be in a happy or a foul mood. We would go out and men would speak to us and she would get into an argument. We would go to restaurants and she would get into a fight with the wait staff or treat them like poo. I hung out with her on and off for years because we were from England and we had a few things in common. It did not dawn on me that we were incompatible, until one night after going out with her I came home drained. I had to ask myself why I’m so drained – did I have a good time? My answer was no.

The universe is a wonderful friend because not long after that, she cursed me out the way she did the wait staff. I listened and when she was done I shared with her that I could no longer hang out with her any more and we ended our relationship. It was that simple.  Simple, yes, and a little difficult too because we do not make friends with people to end the friendship. However, more often than not, people are in our lives to teach us who we were or are. We might not like it and it is okay.  We learn the lesson and we move on.  My energy level went up and I started embracing people who were in alignment with my new energy.  People who love people, people who love sharing and enjoying life, giving and receiving compliments.

Do you find yourself resisting and sabotaging yourself?  Now to answer this question you have to be insightfully straight and honest with yourself. In order to tell on yourself, you have to be willing to feel uncomfortable for a moment, but it’s well worth it.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Who Really Says How Your Life Goes?

happiness

What if you had only three months to live, and the only way you could extend your life was by doing the things that you always wanted to do but never did? Take a moment and think about it. The stipulations are as follows: it has to be do-able within three months, it has to be something that you daydreamed about constantly; it has to be something you never fulfilled or completed in the past.

Consider the following:

The first step would be to calm down, because you may be panicking about the impending end.

Think for a moment and pull yourself back together.

Express yourself and don’t censor or edit yourself in any way.

Be how you want to be and create what you want.

It is no one’s business what you choose to do.

It must be something fun that you would derive pleasure from.

It makes you happy and it is important to you and it could if you choose make others happy.

You have only yourself to please.

Ultimately it is nobody’s business but your own.

You do not have to focus on anything other than your daydream and your creations.

These are the rules

  • You must be completely honest with yourself and that may be something you have never done before in a truly conscious way.
  • Full self-expression, it is necessary to unleash your passions and everything that makes you, you.
  • Willingness to fall on your face and risk embarrassment (FYI embarrassment can be eliminated)
  • Speak to someone every week to keep you accountable
  • It must be something you have never done before
  • You have to be willing to fail and fail big.
  • You must be patient
  • You must trust yourself and you cannot ever make yourself wrong (FYI there are ways to resolve it if you do).

You must be willing to experience trusting yourself and creating your dreams so they will materialize. The other side of this experience is that negative thoughts materialize and unlike your daydreams and fantasies, negative thoughts take little or no energy to materialize.  So you must recognize your words have power to create thoughts, and thoughts create actions.

You must be willing to admit when you are afraid. When you do not, your fear becomes worse.  If however, you admit that you are afraid, the fear can disappear and you will discover you have power.  When you admit to your concerns, they too will disappear. When you do not, they stay in your head and they become even bigger.

You must be willing to distinguish each concern and barrier separately, rather than roll them all into one mass, which tends to show up as procrastination.

The Flipside

The flipside, if you really only had three months, you would start believing in yourself like never before. You would transform your mindset and start playing in the universe; then you would realize it is an abundant playground. You could start believing that you are the captain of your own life. You create and generate your life, job, relationships, finances and you can really have whatever you want. This is because you do it already.  (Don’t believe me, just look at yourself, your nice apartment, crappy apartment, money, no money – you created all of that!) You would either realize that you are amazing, you are beautiful and there is nothing ugly, bad, broke or fat about you.  You would become naturally generous with yourself which in turn would transfer to others who would want to be around you so much more.  Let’s imagine that you created a fabulous week for yourself. You had a wonderful experience this week because on Monday you said everything you needed to say, you were honest with yourself, you honored you word, you did all the things you said you would do. You generated courage to follow through and it’s now Friday and your week went the way you planned it and it all turned out really well.  What’s next?  You get to say.  You always get to say how it goes.

Do What You Want – But Take Care Of Yourself!

Do What You Want – But Take Care Of Yourself!

The truth is you will always have time for busy. Do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on.  Especially if you are a woman that wants a huge life.  There will always be emergencies where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out.  I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work, and you period has not come, and you have a medical emergency, you feel guilty about what you did last night, last week and last year. The world, hell the Universe will be screaming for your attention.  I am getting sick just writing this list. These are 13 ways to Live Life Your Way and live by your own design.

happylife No is what you say to anything that is not important to you.

Laundry is not important to me.  Clean clothes is what important you don’t have to do it, you can give it to someone else to do it.  People who do not stand for me and who want to make me feel bad about myself you know the people that want something and guilt you into it.  Your mother, boyfriend, friends even the mailman.  You know it’s bad if the mailman can guilt you into stuff.  Things that are not important to you and not necessary to you.  Say No, Good way to handle that is to say I prefer and to do that.

Asking for Help

Asking for help is really important.  A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help are you one of these people.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask for make sure that you use it.  Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then not using it.  Most people want to help want to revel in seeing you successful and happy.  People when helping it makes them feel useful, important and important.  You can ask for anything you want anything.  Know when asking People they have to right to say yes or no.  People are grown and responsible for the choices they make it is not you position to choose for them.  Just don’t underestimate people and try to take negative advantage of them.

Stay on contact

It is important to stay in contact with your friends.  No matter the length of time that you have know the person.  People like to be acknowledged and to feel like they are friends.  There are 6+ billion people on the planet and if you do not feel like you have no friends, no one loves you then you know what you are not being a good friend.  You might be expressing love and sharing love.  Love is addictive.  Giving love and expressing love is a good feeling.  Try it.  Send a message, send a text letting people know that you are thinking of them makes a world of difference in another life.  It does not have to be a two lunch it could be a 5 min checking in just to see how they are doing.  Try this on for size,  send out I was thinking out you messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back.  No it is not weird.  I am doing 5 right now.  Stop what you doing and just do it.  The 1st five people in your phone to start.  I’m back, just sent out 8 instead of five.  Got 3 responses already in 8 mins.  Generally if they are in your phone most are friends.   You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone, most will be okay about it.  However, keep in touch with people are best as YOU can it will keep you happy and keep you inspired around life, making friends and being inspired.

Surround yourself with things that you like.

Surround yourself with only the things that you enjoy or like.  Do not buy or bring into your emotional space things that you do not enjoy or like as they was pull emotional energy from you.  When you in a dumpy mood or low energy having things around you that you enjoy that you can focus on will and can cheer you up and bring up your energetic level.  Pinterest is an awesome app as you can put it on your computer your phone and you can get little boost of inspiration.

Gratitude List

I usually provide this as a tool to my clients, at first they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do then they do the gratitude list as chore then they.  When you are being grateful about what you have in your life.  You do not have time to whine about the things you don’t have.  Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences whether you are making, or the result of the activities of negative people around you.  Recognize that you have to power, and put it into constant use until you have created for yourself a wall of immunity against negative influences in your own mind. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work on you through you subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect.  So having a daily gratitude list, even creating one where you share back and forth with friends of like mind will empower you creating dialog instead of monolog where the negative thoughts do not have a chance to pollute you mind.  Gratitude has power to move you forward.  Keep a journal for your gratitudes where  you can go back whenever you need a little boost.

Keep a Planner for your life, and your fun times

Keeping a planner makes you life less crazy.  It is good practice to put all the things that are important to you also adding things that are fun.  Many people put in doctors appointment, work things, children but they don’t really schedule time for fun.  Get in the practice of adding into your planner time for fun.  It is a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you have schedule time for vacation, but it is also great to see inside of your day that you have scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own.  When you keep a planner is it important to schedule everything so you don’t have any shocks surprises and missed meetings.  Once you have got that the difficult part will be to learn to use the planner in a way that is effective and does not make you regret the appointments that you have made.  Balance things, and give your self the right to say no thank you to an appointment.

Keep track of your wins

Write down you wins.  Weekly wins are important so that you can have a real record of your wins and your achievements.  I got a write up in an online magazine http://www.t2conline.com/a-call-for-coaching that’s  a big win if I don’t write that down.  I will never remember.  Make a habit of writing down your wins and achievement’s  write down you milestones they will help you when you feel that you have hit a wall in your personal achievements’ at the end of the day you can check in.

Your appearance: Make sure you like you

Also make sure that you like what you wearing and that you have your own personal style and that you look the way you want.  That your style is yours.  You don’t have to have the latest blah blah, but it is good to have your own look that unique to you.  With regard to your clothes take on your body, do you feel good about your body, are you a little overweight or a lot overweight, but you wear your body well.  Do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them.  Then work on them or shut up.  You style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Mousiness will never look great in best of clothes.  Generate your energy.  You could be wearing sweat pants and give an air of confidence where you are wearing them they are not wearing you hiding something about yourself.  When you go out to shop make sure you shop for what you really like, bring a trusted friend who can share with you how the item looks.  However, truth is if you are confident in your image you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

Create a go to Group

Have a go to group. A go to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust, that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you.  These woman are a bigger stand for your life than you are and they will support you to get back on the tracks of life.  They will remind you whether gently or they will shake up if you need a good shake up.  If you cannot afford a coach, a go to group is perfect.  These woman must not coach you or tell you what to do, what they will do is remind of who you are and the commitment and goal that you have or are creating for your life.  They will provide you with a pep talk or a reality check.  

Do something silly that makes you laugh until you tummy hurts

Go and see a really stupid move, there are a ton of them out there.  When you go to this movie, you should laugh naturally, when I mean naturally I mean at your own level and length of time.  Be you, do not go to the movie and do what everyone does, the movie laugh track, when everyone starts are the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.  I went to the movies, with this guy once it was a date.  We went to see Fat Albert http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fat+albert+movie&view=detail&mid=B326DD89B259A34501CFB326DD89B259A34501CF&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR&qpvt=fat+albert+movie  The movie was everything and corney. It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, the guys said “Note to self never take you to see a movie again”  as me if I cared.  I think that laughing in a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the movie, I had a great time and was completely expressed and free.  Laughing is good for you . Laugh often and laugh loud its contagious. Make jokes, engage your peeps, share jokes and laugh at lot.  It makes you feel better and is good for your health.  Every time you laugh a comedian get his chops. Lol.

Be emotionally okay

Be ok with your emotions, you have to emotions so that you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you sad, express it.  However, express it a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  Do go digging for sadness, don’t go dregging up old relationships and add them to your new ones.  If you need a good cry, cry and complete it.  Do not blame other people for your sadness your need to cry or for your crying.  If you stressed out, look at what is causing the stress and create new actions to take to relieve the stress.  Stress in a big killer and I am sure you don’t want to die or suffer some stress induced illness.  Do not cover your emotions express them.  She them responsible.  Release all the emotions, frustrations, and the anger in a responsible way.  You will feel so much better with the release and so clear actions to take.  (Here’s an action step call me and ask me how to clean your stress and get your in action).

Write things down

Conversation and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little book and save your brain cells, ever get those times when you get a great idea, or your hear something.  Or someone gives you the name of something and you think you can remember it.  Well you cannot.  If you have a full life, it is rare that you will remember the thing.  Also, when you can whip out your little book of remembering you actually are telling the other person that what they are saying is valuable enough to write it down.  Don’t waste time trying to remember stuff write it down.

Accept yourself as you are and as you’re not.

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and love yourself every moment of every moment.  Don’t think about things that you have not achieve yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You are very different  and unique from every one else.  You are one of a kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness your path is different from everyone eles.  Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with a some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself you stand in the way of your self-love.  Every time you judge yourself you separate your-self from others.  Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You do not have to change anything about yourself.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

How to rediscover what you really want

Photo by EvelynGiggles
Photo by EvelynGiggles

What is right for you – that is the question.
When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating over and over again what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.
What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you really want it provides you with passion.  You start to take real action, regardless of any fears.  You receive the opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   When what you want is right for you, there is a sense of knowing that cannot be explained; it can only be expressed.
When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you can lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You don’t know where to start.
Start by setting goals.
The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create that provides service for others is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.
Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you.
Set a clear picture of how many clients you need to achieve your goal, or how many units you need to sell to reach your goal.  Then get yourself energized.  Find out how you will provide and service these people.
Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients you want and the money we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to be able to have the structure in place to be ready.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what you desire or want.  Get straight with yourself.  Notice and look at your fear of success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  It is just a feeling, not a fact.
As you begin to create what cialis you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.
What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Can’t Get No Satisfaction

I cannot imagine the thought of having to go out to work and perform a job that I do not like or am not happy cialis 20mg tablets with.  According to the Conference Board research group, only 45% of American people are satisfied with their jobs.  That leaves 55%  of the population that are not happy with their job. Can you imagine, a doctor or Health care provider training all these years and deciding that they do not like their job or the people they take care of?  Scary.

Not receiving job satisfaction can have a profound impact on how you not only do your job, but how you are left feeling at the end of the day.  Are you satisfied?

•    Do you think it is important to enjoy your job or are you just in it for the money?
•    Do you think that if you enjoy your job your life is fuller?
•    Is it important for you to be able to express yourself in the work that you do?
•    Do you think that you can either have money or happiness at work, and have to give up one for the other?
•    Do you think it takes courage to go after your passions?

In the past, enjoying your job was considered a foreign concept by some.  Most people were raised to grin and put up with the jobs that they had.  Going for a job that you enjoyed was considered to be stupid. It was only important that you gained security and that garnered you the all important paycheck.

People who are working at jobs they enjoy, enjoy their lives a lot more than ones that just accept their situation.  Today, it is important to create a life that you love and a job that you enjoy.  More people are evaluating what is really important to these days.
What is important to you?

•    Are the things that are important to you things that you can share with others?
•    Are you snuffing out your passion and accepting a second best life or third best life?

It is time to re-evaluate your life and focus on what is important to you.  What are you willing to do to have your job provide you the satisfaction you want?

Go for the life that you want NOW! Stop talking, stop making yourself wrong.
Make yourself RIGHT – Today, Tomorrow, Always. Call me to see how 718 834 9450.

Make time for happiness

A good portion of women are too busy making themselves busy so they don’t have a minute to look at the true picture of their life.  They are too busy to call a friend or too busy to return a call.  They are too busy to be the yes that they said they’d be.  What is all this busy-ness?  We have a ton of technology available to us at the drop of a dime.  Literally a drop of a dime and yet we are way too busy.  Now the with cellphones less than half a yard away from your elbow inside your bag or pocket it remains impossible to return a simple call, to a client, a potential suitor, a doctor anybody.

Two happy girls

Well, you don’t understand, I am really busy.  How busy can you be?  Are you running a small country?  What is it that you are doing in your life that has you so busy that nothing has changed in the last 3 years? I have a running conversation with clients that say to me that they are too busy to do something that they say is important to them.  Important things like their friends, their health and wellbeing.  They want to date, fix their finances or change something in their life.  Well, what I say is you are not running a city or a small country.  For instance look at Rudy Guilliani, the mayor of New York City 1994-2001. Here was a man that was busy, running NYC, visiting other states and countries and still he still found time to have a wife and then cheat on her.  Now that’s busy.  If you not running a small city, visiting other countries having a marriage and an extra marital affair, you’re not that busy. Come on!

What’s really going on is that you do not have a system to manage yourself, and you do not have a relationship with your word.  How do I know this?  Well, I know this because when the conversation comes up about you being unavailable, not following up on your promises, and not being your word, then you get triggered.  You shut down become resigned.  Some of you might even become angry.  This is not a judgment; it is something that I have experienced.

If all the things that you say you would love to have or experience are really that important to you, then it is important that you carve out time for yourself.  There is more than enough time in the day to handle what it is that you say that you desire.  The first question to ask yourself is: Am I happy?  What’s happiness got to do with time? What has happiness go to do with anything?  Well, I have come to understand that people that are happy with themselves desire to remain happy.  They share.  They are often times enjoying the work that they have chosen for themselves.  They are busy, but they are organized.  It is this kind of happiness that is important to them.  They do not want anything to interfere with their happiness.  So they make the time to do the things that is important to them and schedule time to handle all the other things.  They are happy and they want to share it with friends so they create time to talk with friends.  They are not interested in getting sick so they will create time to go to the doctor and keep a handle on their wellbeing.  They have created structure to keep on doing the thing that they enjoy doing.

 

 

 

Happiness is something that one can do for oneself. However, it is something that is better shared with another.  When you are happy in your life you become aware of whom you are.  So if you desire a deep relationship with another person, it’s important that you become aware of yourself.

The comments above are not here to make you feel wrong or written as a judgment.  I have written them as a way to have you look inside and understand that sometimes you are not aware of what you’re doing or how it impacts your life and the lives of the people you say are important to you.  It is important to see them so that you can realize how important it is to learn to concentrate and focus your mind where you choose.  You can elevate your thinking and your choices to a higher ideal rather than just merely having a view or no view at all and remain stuck thinking that your business is real and you have no time.   Then when people say that you are not managing your time or you wasted their time being busy, you don’t find yourself feeling attacked or defending yourself.

It is as though you are too afraid to take a minute to just sit down and smell the roses.  Many  women have discovered the age old art of making themselves wrong so they have something to distract them from just taking a minute to sit down and reflect.  Happiness appears as this elusive thing they are searching for.  Some are looking for it in the arms of the next lover before completing with the last one.  Some are looking for it at the end of the credit card in the next pair of designer shoes.  This is not a judgment.

What I do know is that a lot of woman are really craving, desiring and would like to have the kind of happiness that just makes you heart sing.  The kind of happiness that you feel when you are taking time out to do something that you really enjoy doing, that ignites your passion and get your juices flowing.  No ladies, not that kind.  At least not at this moment;  I mean the kind of passion that I experience when I am riding my bike and the wind is whipping around my helmet and I see life’s pleasures like a flower that had just broken through the earth.

 

 

Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?

It seems like women are constantly being told what to do with their vaginas.  In the media, woman are told how to date, what to wear and how to think.  They’re constantly telling women what they should be, do and have.  If it’s not the media, then it is women feeling judged based on their circumstances and they are left feeling like they have no control.  For example, if women are unmarried or childless, it is deemed wrong in some way.  It’s time for women to stand up and realize that there’s nothing wrong and start really believing that you are worthy in spite of your imperfections.   If you find that there is something in life that is not perfect for you, only you can change it.  Don’t complain or fret as only you can change what you don’t like about your life.

As a Personal Life Coach, my commitment is in confidence and self esteem. I use the metaphor of the vagina to distinguish your individual self.  No two vaginas are visually the same and only you individually know what is going on in your vagina and its needs.

I’m always asking the question of “Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?” when I hear the media directing women on their life choices.  I have a very funny male OB/GYN; he is very good and service orientated.  Our relationship is very good and open. I feel I can ask him any question I can come up with.   Nevertheless, I remember going into him and describing a pain I had in my vagina after eating certain foods.  He told me that was not possible.  I looked at him and asked him “Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?”, he checked himself, laughed and apologized by saying how could he ever know what pain I was feeling in my vagina as he does not and never had one.  End of story.

 

So, I request of you today to take charge of your vagina and all that you are.  Do not let anyone decide for you what feels good or what you desire.  Just remember it’s your Vagina and you get to say how it goes.  You get to take responsibility.
I am saddened by how many women do not know the power of their Vagina themselves. As a Personal Life Coach, a lot of woman I  encounter don’t know or understand the control they have when it comes to their needs and desires.  They treat themselves and their vaginas, like a stray kitten waiting for somebody to rescue them, feel them up and give them an orgasm.  Then they walk away feeling resentful because they were treated poorly or bitch and moan when it’s doesn’t turn out the way they hoped.

 

Your Vagina, along with the clitoris, is an amazing structure; it is a sensitive organ and its sole purpose is pleasure.   Can you imagine? How fortunate, an organ for the sole purpose of pleasure.  What a beautiful thing!

 

My personal belief is that women should only release their pleasure organ when they want to and when they feel like it, no matter what.  With all the positive information in the media, women are still feeling the pressure to have sex when they are not interested or don’t want to. They feel pressure to be cute, to be accepted or just to not be rejected.  Sex is a wonderful experience when you want to have sex and not because you’re doing it for the approval of another person.

 

You are the pleasure you need, it’s built in.  When you do something for another person you are seeking something from them. This is done because you don’t have enough strength to really take care of yourselves or your needs. This is not just the practice of young women,  this is also the practice of older women as well.  It has nothing to do with age, educational or economical value; it has to do with personal value.  It is important to be able to speak up for yourself in the world, even in the bedroom or other places where you have sex.

 

It is important to know your vagina, and do only things that excite you. It is important to learn what gives you pleasure and turns you on. Get to know every pore, every corner, curve of your body and mind.  Become an expert on yourself and be able to drive yourself to the highest highs. 

 

After all, “Whose Vagina Is It Anyway?”  Consider if you cannot answer that question faithfully, you could consider using a Personal Life Coach until you can answer this question for yourself without hesitation.
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Be Yourself Already

Many women are stuck in their old ways of being.  They have limiting beliefs that are so far out of alignment with who they are today, that their concepts of themselves are out of balance.   They know that something in their lives is missing.  It is not a tangible thing.  It is a way of being, doing and having.  They know that their head and heart are out of sync.  They continue to harp on, talk about and create the same things all of the time.  They date the same men, or none at all.  They attract the same things or none at all.  They know intuitively that there is something that they desire but they cannot find the right magnetic energy.  They do not understand that their words have power and through their words they are recreating the same situations.   In response to this, I created a salon – Be Yourself Already.
Are you being yourself or are you stuck?

The questions I ask you are:
Who are you being?  Are you being yourself or are you being something that is completely out of alignment with your true God and Universal spirit?  Do you know that the more you become aware of who you are, you will become aware of your inner guidance and personal power?
Are you using material things to insulate you from really being yourself? Have you insulated yourself so much with things that the even the sheer thought of losing these things hurt so much that it shuts you down?
Do you really know yourself?  Have you ever taken time to be with you in silence?  Without the hum of the television, without drugs and alcohol, comfort food, you’re shopping jones, the constant chatter on the phone and having multiple mindless relationships or booty calls?  Do you know yourself without whatever vice you are using to cover up whatever it is you’re avoiding?
My big request is:
Be Yourself Already!  If you were to strip yourself naked, down to the core of who you are, would you know yourself, would you like yourself?  Furthermore, would you be comfortable?  Let’s go a little further- you lost your job, your house, your car, everything, all you had was just you.  Would you be comfortable with yourself, would you be yourself already?  Close your eyes for one minute and imagine if all you had was yourself and your imagination, how would you begin the process of recreation?  Do you think it is important to be yourself openly and honestly? Being who you are and not who you think you should be?
Are you speaking from a place of lacking or a place of abundance:
When you speak with your friends and people you know, do you continually speak about your problems and pain or do you speak about your abundant life and how happy you are?  Well when you speak of your pain and problems, people begin to form images as you speak and you transmit radio waves of emotions to them.  So if you’re a person that is continually sharing from the place of pain, then pain and problems will be how you show up in the world.  If you are a person that says they don’t trust or like people, or believes that continual happiness isn’t possible, then the life you have is the life you’ve created with the words that you’ve uttered.

Woman Without

My story of lacking vs. abundance
A few years ago after I finished my coaching certification at NYU I created a seminar with two women who were in my class.  I was very excited about the seminar and was sort of at a cross roads in my life.  I was giving up real estate which had been a large source of my income and identity for a number of years.  As a Realtor, I was used making great money.  The following nibble will clarify my lack.   My career as a real estate broker had a profound impact on me.  I was well known in the community, I was good at what I did, and I made money.  Real Estate had become my identity.
Becoming a Personal Life Coach and stepping out into an unknown field to do something that I was emotionally and spiritually drawn to was daunting.   I became  anxious as I did not know my capabilities yet in my new field. I was unsure if i could make a difference, attract clients, find my niche and lastly make an income.  So my conversations became one of lack.
At that time, all I could see was my bank account being sapped and me becoming poor which was one of my fears. (No longer)  This was not my truth.  I had been expressing myself to the two ladies who I was to partnered with to produce the seminar.  I had been expressing myself from a place of lack yet I did not know it.
Then, an issue arose that gave me clarity and transformed my life, we had to pay for the rental space.  One of the ladies, Jane, paid my share and I had to pay her back.  Paying her back was no problem at all.  However, my continuous conversation about lack had created a world for them where I would be unable to pay them back.  The night of the seminar, I had the money for Jane in my pocket.  But, we were so busy with everything that I got distracted and neglected to give her the money.  The money stayed in my pocket until I got home.
In the morning I was speaking with the other woman, Geraldine. I told Geraldine that I had Jane’s money.  Geraldine proceeded to tell me that both she and Jane were concerned that Jane would not get her money back.   My a heart sunk.  I have a commitment to always pay back my debts. Furthermore, the money I owed wasn’t even a large sum.  It was barely enough for me to have a great lunch and definitely was not enough to feed me for a week.  Regardless of the fact, in that moment Jane and Geraldine taught me a valuable lesson.  I learned that I had created a world for my partners, Jane and Geraldine, out of my conversation about lack.  Before that experience, I had no idea that I was speaking of lack and that I was creating a world for them where they saw me as poor.  In the moment from that conversation, I became extremely responsible for my speaking and learned to speak responsibly from a place of power.
With Jane and Geraldine, what I had been doing was planting and replanting seeds of lack.   I experience the power of my words.   I have a commitment to using my words and creating myself from a place of my own personal power.  I might at times slip up, like a child who sometimes does not have the skill to handle everything in my life perfectly or even beautifully.  But, what I do know is that I am being myself already! I have the power to know that I am growing every moment and that I do not have to go back to creating images that speak of or create images of disempowerment to others.
I accept myself already.

The woman I am is power, success, creativity and abundance.  That is who I am.  This is why I have created a special salon. I want others to be themselves already.  I hope you will join me.



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