5 Signs You’re Lacking Confidence

“Confidence is a characteristic that people recognize immediately it is a way of being, you either have it or you don’t, but it is often apparent on first meeting.  A person with confidence is like a ray of sunshine on a really gray day. Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.” Franklin D. Roosevelt 

confidence

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, confidence is a way of being. The first question that one should ask oneself is: Do I feel confident? If so, in what areas of my life do I feel confident? If you feel your confidence is missing, what areas of your life is it missing from?  How can you develop your confidence?

Confidence is something that is important in all aspect of one’s life.  It is important to have a healthy dose of confidence so that you can live your life comfortably and happily! It helps you connect to people in ways that open you up to say what you want, and allows you to share yourself and create feelings of connection.

Here are five key signs that you may be lacking confidence in your life:

  • Not being present in the moment
  • Not being responsible
  • Not having personal boundaries
  • Not having an authentic sense of self value
  • Not asking for what you want authentically & with integrity

You may find confidence to be missing in these areas/circumstances: career, relationships, after a divorce or loss of something or someone important, emotional loss, or loss of a personal experience that mattered in your life.

Understanding the power that having personal confidence provides open doors and enables you to create the life you want. Confidence is a development of self and that it is something that you can grow and develop within your life.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

 

 

Why the Monday Morning Blues? Try the Monday Morning Happy.

monday_l2

Get happy with your choice to be at your job.

I had a fantastic weekend. I did every absolutely everything I wanted to do.  I ate frozen cherries and berries, I watched movies, I read, I slept, I chatted with a few people. I connected with friends on Facebook added and found old friends.  I had a great weekend.

Did the thought of going to work on Monday make you wince? If so, I’m sorry to hear that.  Do you know more people have heart attacks on Mondays? Stress – this is a common experience for a lot of people. When you get on the subway this morning, did you notice the misery on people face in the subway car?  No one seems excited for the work day.  Most of the people riding to work are in a funk and are complain about how much they hate their jobs, bosses or what they do.  People are dissatisfied with the work life.  LET’S CREATE SOME SATISFACTION FOR A JOB WELL DONE TODAY. 

Most people hate their jobs, they hate their bosses and they are in some sort of upset with their co-workers.  Most workers had no idea who they were or what they wanted to do when they took on their jobs/career. The one desire was to make money.  Now that you have been on your job for a number of years, you feel stuck, locked in, and feel you have limited job options. Your money is good and you’re afraid to leave your job or switch career gears. You are afraid that you might be trapped in the same job doing the same thing for the rest of your life.  WHERE COULD YOU GENERATE A SOME COMPASSION FOR A CO-WORKER, COLLEAGUE OR BOSS YOU DISLIKE TODAY? GO ON, JUST TRY!

What Is Your Potential? Most workers do not know their potential. They have settled for whatever it is they have settled for.  Many people find out later that they have gone against their true nature for money and work and so they are not doing the thing they want to do.  I remember when I worked a job where l longed to make a difference and I did not know what I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted to be happy and make a difference.  WHERE COULD YOU USE YOUR POTENTIAL AT WORK TODAY DESPITE HATING YOUR BOSS AND YOUR JOB?

I changed my job because I was sick of pushing papers.  I didn’t love my job, but I liked and I loved the people I worked with and that’s what kept my energy going.  I liked talking to them. Work for me was like a social event, because I love people.  So no matter where I was if there were people present I could make myself happy. WHERE COULD YOU BE WILLING TO FIND SOME HAPPINESS AT WORK TODAY DESPITE THE FACT THE YOU HATE YOUR JOB?

How many times did you hit the snooze this morning? Now, I have life the way I want it. The truth is I always did and so do you.  You are on your job and you chose it.  You may not like you job or enjoy it as much as you did when you first started, but it is yours.  For those of you who are happy on your job, congratulations, and for those of you who are not, I am very sorry to hear that. So, what are you going to do?  If you answer is nothing, stay in your cubby and leave the happy people alone.

Do you feel obligated to go to work?  Do you hate your job? Please, I beg you stop hating it.  Hate is a robber of energy and it doesn’t provide you with anything positive, least of all it does not provide you with room to see your greatness and create newly.  Hating impacts everything in your life and keeps you stuck and keeps everything away that is important to you. No one is forcing you to go to work or to do a job that you do not want to do.  That is a choice you are making every day.The sad news here is that you don’t even know you’re the one making the choice.  You’re the one sucking the energy out of your life. 

Today is Monday and already some of you might be thinking of Friday.  Let go of that thought and come back to the now.  This week start doing One Thing.  One thing that you can be proud or.  Challenge yourself.  I will assure you if you do one thing today, tomorrow up until Friday you will have so much energy by the end of the week and you will be happy.  Stay in the now, be present, and Friday will come without you forcing it

Create a mindset that you will be happy at work and start going within and ask yourself, if you’re not happy in this moment, what can you create right now that will make you happy with your work and yourself?  Maybe you need to clean up something.  Maybe you could do that task you have been putting off.  That conversation you want to have but you’re afraid to have.  Take an action that you are afraid to take.  Or do that one thing that you have been avoiding.

You can spend the next 8 to 10 hours being or you can create it by being happy. The truth is you choose.  So choose, wisely and happily. 

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Take Your Time: 365 Days to Start Anew.

What have you in mind for New Year’s Day, 2014?  What do you need to say and do to have 2013 be finished so you can step into this shiny New Year of 2014?
What doubts and concerns do you have right now, and are you willing to accept and let go of them?  How do you want to spend the brand new days ahead?  The countdown starts at 12 midnight the last day of December. Take your time and ask yourself, who will you be kissing and counting down the seconds with?  Will you be at a party reveling with others celebrating?  Will you be at home settled in with friends or family.  Will you be home watching TV or sleep through it?
How will you bring in the New Year?  Will you have paper and pen at the ready to create your new resolutions?  Do you even create resolutions? Will it be the typical conversation you have with yourself about weight loss, losing the excess weight that has been stuck to your body for the last few years? Or spending less on lattes and frappes?
So we have a New Year. What are the goals that you want to set to have your mind take massive actions to achieve them?
What is the vision that you will create for yourself so that you will live a life of fulfillment and satisfaction?   Create a vision. Live your vision.

Photo by Brett Jordan
It’s 2014 soon, and ahead you have 365 brand new days to Live Your Vision.
The past:

What is the past?
Where do you think the past lives?
What is the past to you?
Is your past in your face, like it is going on right now in the present?
If you put your past where it is belongs (in the past) what do you have available?
Is there anything that your past can contribute to your life in 2014?
If you were to put the past where it belonged, what is it that you think that you might have that’s new or different from before?

The Future:

What do you have in store for those brand new 365 days ahead?
What will you ask for in 2014?
What will you create for yourself and your life in 2014?
What are you willing to throw out of your life this year and put in newly?
What unreasonable requests will you be willing to make in the New Year 2014?
What fears, upsets, hurts are you willing to learn from and release in 2014?
What and who will you choose to forgive in 2014?
Now imagine: it is 2014 and this is a brand new year.  Many things will happen in 2014. 2014 will have 524,160 minutes in total for the year.  When we break it down in this way what is your experience of time?
However, it is the same amount of time that each and every one of us on the planet is allotted if we are lucky.
Will you do what you love this year or will you sit around judging yourself and being afraid that if you do what you love you will be judged by others for it?  What comes naturally for you and what do you have to work on?  This year, is it time for you to look at what you are passionate about or just be a member of the Complaining Committee.
What is your reason for the New Year?  If you take a look at your life, what do you think you are here for? When I say “here for,” I mean in this life.  What are you on this planet for?
•        I am here first and foremost to experience a life that I create.
What does that life look like?
•        I am here to learn and grow in all facets of life.
•        I am here to help and be helped.
•        I am here to expand my human capacities.
•        I am here to heal and forgive
•        I am here to love and be loved
•        I am here to be kind
•        I am here to be happy and share happiness
•        I am here to learn to take risks
•        I am here to learn to trust life and others no matter what
•        I am here to experience life fully no matter what
•        I am here to live in the moment
•        I am here to give up the past
•        I am here to revel in my joy and the joys of others
•        I am here to know that it is okay to fail and it is through failure that I recreate and learn
Can we just be quiet for a moment and start looking at life in a way that focuses us on the things in life that make us happy?
Happy? What is “happy” to you?  People talk about being more happy/happier in their life; they want to be more happy.  How do you become more/happy when you may not have distinguished the happiness that you already have?  There is no such thing as “more happy.”  There is only being happy.  Happy is expansive, happy is our natural way of being.  Happy is all there is.  When we are happy we are being with what is.  We are being authentic and living in the present which is our natural state.  We are at peace with ourselves and all that is happening.  We are not making ourselves wrong, by tearing ourselves down piece by piece.  We are living in the moment.  Oh so happy.
When we are not happy we are asking someone, please show me more happiness.  Happy is like more chicken please when you have a whole roasted chicken on your plate and you have not even stuck your knife in yet. You have not even tasted it and yet you want more chicken, not knowing if the chicken that you have on your plate even tastes good.  Consider that if you work with the happy that you have, the more happiness that you want is already there. It will expand and you will be happy.
Who is responsible for your happiness?  The only person that is responsible for your happiness is you and only you.  No one can make you happy.  (Corollary, no-one can make you unhappy!) Happiness resides in you or not.  Anyhoo, I love that anyhoo, anyhoo, anyhoo, I feel like an owl when I say hoo.  Back to the story at hand.  We as humans talk about peace and happiness in the world and often times we look out into the world for that peace, not realizing that the peace that we seek outside ourselves cannot be found until we find peace and happiness inside ourselves.  The longer we live in upset and not look at what it is that has it be there, the longer we will be upset.
I am the only person that is responsible for my happiness, I am the only person responsible for peace.  Peace lives inside self and when peace is not present inside of self then there comes a time to ask, whose responsibility is it to put it in?
I have friends who are upset with me. We all have friends who are upset with us.  I have been upset, disappointed and sad with this situation.  I don’t like to be upset with anyone.  My friends are wonderful and there are times when our relationships take a turn and they can get ugly.  I do not profess to be an angel.  I am a life coach and I am always learning, expanding, growing as a human being.
I have a commitment to be open and honest with myself and my life.  I have a commitment to be powerful, successful, creative and abundant.   I have a commitment to never cause harm to another person.  Am I guilty of all of these things?  Yes.  I know it can take a lot for me to keep all of these agreements and will I falter?

Absolutely. I do know, however, that there is peace and happiness as I maintain this commitment now and throughout the New Year.
Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach who works with High Achievers who have dreams and gifts.
What’s one of your aspirations?  Maybe it’s a dream that you have forgotten or you have begun to give up on.  If that vision were awakened and alive today, what would your life look like?  Take a moment to dream and think about what you want for your life so you can take deliberate steps, owning your voice, speaking your truth, having the freedom to live life your way. “Live Life Your Way”
www.noreensumptercoach.com  917-945-5907  https://www.facebook.com/noreensumptercoach

What do you want from your life?

Photo by Son of Groucho
Photo by Son of Groucho

 

At the end of the day, what do you really want for yourself and your life? What are the results and benefits that you want to accomplish? What will you do to walk away a winner, having what you want?

Below is a list of the tangible, measurable results that you may want:

1. Confidence

2. Accomplishment of your personal goals

3. A strong self-esteem that rockets

4. Trust in yourself and in others

5. An experience of happiness with yourself

6. Creating your own truth and thus making it your reality

7. Freedom

8. Strong, generative passionate relationships

9. Grounded, connected and at ease with life

10. The past in its place

11. Abundance of health, wealth, love, power, success and creativity

12. Creating your passion and sharing it unabashedly

Some very simple questions to ask yourself.

Is there anywhere in your life that you are not recognizing your power, your strength? Think about it.

Do you know who you are?

Do people really know you?

What do you like about yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

Who do you have disagreements with and are you willing to clean them up?

Would you like to create a new image of yourself that reflects your true being?

What’s the quality that you would like to express: courage, compassion, love, trust, etc?

What is in the way of you developing those qualities?

What would you look like with your new quality?

What would it provide for your life?

How can you make your life a priority?

Are disempowered thoughts keeping you trapped and robbing you of your self-worth?

How to rediscover what you really want

Photo by EvelynGiggles
Photo by EvelynGiggles

What is right for you – that is the question.
When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating over and over again what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.
What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you really want it provides you with passion.  You start to take real action, regardless of any fears.  You receive the opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   When what you want is right for you, there is a sense of knowing that cannot be explained; it can only be expressed.
When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you can lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You don’t know where to start.
Start by setting goals.
The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create that provides service for others is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.
Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you.
Set a clear picture of how many clients you need to achieve your goal, or how many units you need to sell to reach your goal.  Then get yourself energized.  Find out how you will provide and service these people.
Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients you want and the money we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to be able to have the structure in place to be ready.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what you desire or want.  Get straight with yourself.  Notice and look at your fear of success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  It is just a feeling, not a fact.
As you begin to create what you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.
What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Coach Sumpter and Goethe on Life and Confidence

Goethe, I love Goethe. Who is this Goethe Person you might ask? He was born in 1749 in Frankfurt Germany.  Died 1832.  He was one of Germany’s most influential writers.  He was lauded as the prince of German Poems.

Goethe: Where there is hesitance, the chance to dram back ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation.
Coach Sumpter:  Until one is confident, no action will be taken and no results will be gotten.  You would never know what could have been, always living in regret about the things you woulda, coulda, shoulda done. Your regret will turn into resentment, anger and boom! You’re stuck not going forward.

Goethe: There is one elementary truth – that ignorance of which kills countless idea and splendid plans that the moment definitely commits oneself providence moves too.
Coach Sumpter: Until the moment you detach from the internal, repetitive conversations that you wallow in, nothing will happen.  Your life will remain on autopilot that will drive you to make yourself wrong. When you let go and detach from these old ideas, all things become possible. You will think of solid actionable ideas.

Goethe: All sorts of things occurred to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  
Coach Sumpter: We are always in creation.  However, with creation comes the feeling of fear.  With fear you’re always aware of the bad things that can happen. You wind up always talking about what you do not want instead of focusing on the things that you desire.  Focus on what it is you want and don’t ever focus on what you don’t want.

Goethe: A whole stream of event issues from the decision raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material substance which no one could have dreamed would have come your way.
Coach Sumpter: When you take action and say yes to your desires, the games you are playing disappear. When you share your desires, you get excited and your faith in your thoughts, ideas and life becomes strong.

Goethe: Raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material substance which no one could have dreamed would have come your way.
Coach Sumpter: Ideas, thoughts and then confidence start to unfurl because you are out of your head. Fear no longer has a grip on you.

Goethe: Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Coach Sumpter: Your confidence, dreams and desires begin to take shape. They bring you back to life. You become excited about living.  You realize that lack of confidence and fear have no place in your life.

Goethe: Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Coach Sumpter: You become bold, exciting and attractive as you develop your confidence.

Go for the life that you want NOW! Stop talking, stop making yourself wrong.
Make yourself RIGHT – Today, Tomorrow, Always. Call me to see how 718 834 9450.

Own The Bitch Within

“What a Bitch!”   “I cannot believe she’s so Bitchy.”  “She is one hard Bitch.”

Have you noticed when a woman is confident and feels truly good about herself, knows what she wants, has clear concise boundaries and is developing her personal power in a healthy way, she is often referred to as Bitch. Some of her friends might even say things like “she has changed.”  Of course she changed.  Everyone changes over time.

Who wants to stay the same? Who wants to remain ignorant and insecure?  I don’t think any woman wants that.  Life is a series of choices and so we change.

It is time to stop seeking external validation, by being “nice”, living in guilt, feeling afraid, being people pleaser, or by downplaying your needs and by putting yourself last. It’s time to own your personal power and deal with yourself by:

•    Owning the Bitch Within
•    Learning to be Selfish
•    Going for your desires
•    Playing a bigger life game
Bringing forth your personal power

The word Bitch might have negative connotations; but in some areas of life if you’re a woman on a mission and up to big things, at some point you will be called a bitch to your face.  But more often than not, it’s behind your back.  It’s important to become okay with yourself the way you are and not feel you have to defend yourself against stupidity.

Gossip, is a part of life. When people don’t know you they will make up all kinds of stories about you until they find out the truth.  I have a saying, if no one is talking about you, you really not up to much.  But, when you’ve learned to deal with fear and yourself, the term bitch, will no longer have control over you.  You’ll experience major growth and personal power.  Then any comment made about you, will no longer produce a negative feeling or result, it will be like water off a ducks back.

A Woman Owning the Bitch Within

In order to love the bitch within, you have to know and own that bitch.  In this blog,  the bitch I’m referring to is a strong, confident loving person that has healthy boundaries.  She knows that nothing is personal.  This Bitch accepts herself for all she is and all she is not.  She is grateful for her mind, potential and life and is willing to create anything she wants to experience. She knows that mistakes are a part of the journey of growth and development.  She knows that nothing is ever really wrong.  She is 100% responsible for her life, the way it is and the way it is not.  She is open to living a joyous life knowing that things happen for the greater good.  She knows she has choices and can complain, or be a victim in a continuous cycle of negativity and righteousness.

Learning to be Selfish

This Bitch she is very selfish.  However, the reason why she is selfish is because she knows she does not come from a deficit in any area in her life.  She is abundant in her way of being.  She gives 100% because she coming from a place of self-love, abundance and generosity.   Self-love is a heartfelt experience.  This is not the kind of Bitch that is aggressive and negates other people’s rights.  She is empowered and thus empowers others.  She is willing to take responsibility for her life and gives up making excuses.  This is not the kind of selfishness that does not care about the effects of her actions on other people.  This Bitch is not aggressive or controlling.  Being Selfish means that you make sure that you are taken care of. When you are completely taken care, you have an abundance of self to give away.   When you say yes, you mean yes.  When say no, you mean no. There is no questioning of choice.  Everything is sent out for the highest good and everyone receives the highest good back.

Going for your desires

This bitch goes for, knows and asks clearly for exactly what she wants.  She also knows that clarity is one of the keys to having it all, so she does not settle for less than what she wants.  She also knows that if she has the right to go for her desires, so does everyone else.  She knows that the universe is abundant.  Being fulfilled in all of her desires is important. Her desires are important.  She will ask as many times as it is necessary to get what she really wants.  She knows when she stops asking for her desires, it not that she cannot have it.  It’s that something better has shown up and taken it place. Desires are continuous and so we keep on asking until old desires are met and new ones are created.

Playing a bigger game

This Bitch knows that playing a bigger game in life does not have anything to do with size or amount, it means being authentic and honest with one’s thoughts and feelings.  Having the freedom to live one’s dream.  Being happy with her choices so that her energy can be directed where she would like it to be.  She believes in herself and she believes that all things are possible.  She knows to achieve the life she wants.  Believing in herself is a choice.  It’s an attitude that she has developed for herself overtime.  She does not blame her family for the hand that she was dealt, or the race, physical size or class that she was born into. She knows that she is responsible for her own concepts and she can change them.  Her game in life is personal to her and no one ever has to agree or want to play.  She is okay about other people’s opinions, as she knows their opinions are none of her business.

Bringing forth your personal power

The Complete Bitch has personal power.   She needs no reason, she just is.  It is her very own.  The Bitch that I speak of knows that if she is going to be successful in her life in her own right. She knows that it’s the way she handles herself and owns the Bitch within.   Personal Power is within us to create the lives we want.  The life we dream about and the life that we were born to live.  You have to claim your personal power.

What would you life look like if you owned the bitch within and gave up complaining? If you took responsibility and started being a woman and owning the Bitch within? I invite you to add your comments in the box below.

You Can Become An Olympic Champian

“But right now, I have no goals; I’m just like a bum.” Usain Bolt.

They came, they conquered or were conquered.   They all achieved their goals, some will play again.  Some will never compete at this level again. Some will go onto to train others by giving away what they have accomplished becoming coaches or leaving the sport of their passion entirely.    However, all of them are winners in their own right.

Michael Phelps, is still the fastest man in water, and now to add to his list of accomplishments breaking the all-time Olympic Medal record.  The old record was 18.  The most medals were won on land by a gymnast, Larisa Latynina. Michael record was won in the water with 19 medals.  Her record took 70 years to win. Michael’s record, who knows where or when it will be broken?

Phelps came and accomplished everything he and his Coach Bob Bowman set out to accomplish.  His coach put him through many rigorous tasks.  His coach readied him to be able to swim blind only being able to count his strokes in previous last Olympics.  Who knew?

The fastest man in the world “All Day Everyday” Usain Bolt ran for 36.84 seconds for the 100 meters.  What makes Usain Bolt so amazing?  Well, he has all the physical skills possible to attain his goal.  Actually the bigger question is what makes anyone of these athletes so amazing and powerful?  Yes they have the drive.  They’ve developed the skill, and they have the passion.  There is one thing that they also have.  They have coaches. Their win is also their coaches win.   They have coaches that help them plan what’s next.  The coach is in the background.  Very rarely is the coach in the foreground.  However, the drills that get done, the practice over and over again are planted and take root in the athlete mind, bodies and action are planted there by their coaches.  The Coach,  who each and every one of the players love and respect.  Their coaches are the muscle behind the curtain.

A coach will go to any length to train you to be number on in your level of performance. A coach will stretch you in ways that you can never stretch yourself.  Your coach is able to have you be all and more of what you want to be; always in the background, knowing your game, making sure that you know your game.

Usain Bolt has conquered all his current goals.  He came to be a legend and he is now a legend.  He say’s pertaining to what’s next for him “Right now nothing. I’ve done what I wanted to do. My coach and I will discuss what we need to do. But right now, I have no goals; I’m just like a bum.”

“I’ve done something that no one has done before, which is defending my double title,” Bolt said. “Back to back for me, I would say I’m the greatest.”  So would say that kind of confidence is arrogant.  I would say that is a person that knows what he came to do and did it despite the media comments.  He fulfilled on the measure.  Confidence is something that gives you a sense triumph.  A Coach is someone that makes you triumphant.

What do all of these Athletes have in common?  Yes, they have coaches and they take the coaching. The coach keeps them out of their head and in the game.  Who keeps you out of your head and in your games in your life?  When things are not working, or working the way you want them to do?  What do you do? How do you win in the games that your create for your life?  Do you quit at the slightest incongruence? Or do you just give up at the mere thought of what you think will take place?   Who helps you build the weak muscle in areas of your life that you would like to transform?

Having a coach will help you transform old patterns and limiting behaviors.  Find out more and read my testimonials of the successes that I have helped my clients accomplish and more.
•    What area of life are you tired of recreating over and over again?
•    What is the result that you’re not getting?
•    Are you waking up exhausted at the mere thought of another day being unfulfilled?
•    What are the wants, needs or desire that are not being fulfilled?
•    Are you doing the same thing over and over again looking for a different result?

Take Action! Get a coach that can have you be accountable and have you develop the confidence to go after your very own personal Olympic dream.

“Citius, Altius, Fortius” or as they say in Hip Hop “Go Hard”

The spirit of the Olympics is tantamount to life.  I love the commercial that says “Luck does not get you to the Olympic games.  You can’t wish your way onto the podium.  you can’t buy it or hope for it. It is not enough to dream about.  Luck did not get me to London, I swam here.” http:/You have to believe in yourself enough to take action.

I watched the Fab Five, McKayla Maroney, Kyla Ross, Aly Raisman, Gabby Douglas and Jordyn Wieber, dominate the Olympic team finals.  In an interview, it was clear to me that the Fab Five was clear about their future.  They believed in themselves.  And today, they are at the Olympics.  They’ve won the gold and fulfilled their dreams that were created when they were children watching the olympics.

The Olympic motto is Citius, Altius, Fortius, a Latin expression meaning “Faster, Higher, Stronger”. Baron Pierre de Coubertin’s founded the International Olympic Committee (IOC) in 1894. Ideals are further expressed in the Olympic creed: The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part.  Just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.

How did all of these athletes make it to the Olympics? They believed in themselves.  They had people who believed and stood for them.  They created their work, did the work, believed in themselves and acted upon their dream.

If you are waiting on someone to give you what you want, then you are not taking responsibility for your actions. You must accept that you are turning over your power to another person.   Where are you waiting for something to be to your liking? Do you get yourself upset because your boss has not given you what you want?  Your partner does not want you to be you? Your money is not the way you want it to be? Take the initiative and start believing in you.  It’s is up to you to increase your productivity and improve your performance.   Everything that you want is already in your own hands.

Be willing to give yourself permission to do what you want with your life.  What are the things that you could do that are necessary, keeping in mind that your life in not linear? There are a lot of things that have to be done so that you can have a full life while pursuing your dreams. Relationships have to maintained, money still has to be made, work still has to be done, food still has to be eaten, bodies and health have to be taken care of, fun still has to be had, vacations to be created. (You can’t forget vacations.)  There are no real excuses for not living your dreams, only the excuses you make up that stop you from taking action. There are still, and will only ever be, 24 hours in the day and what you do with them is entirely up to you.

Now you know that life is not linear.  Blaming people, places and things for your inability to take action on the things that you want is your way of saying and believing that you cannot have what you desire.  Making others wrong for sharing their thoughts and feeling is you not taking responsibilities for what is important to you.   In life, your timeline does not have to agree with anyone else’s.  Just because timelines, thoughts, feelings and agreement are not in alignment with yours, does not mean the other person is bad or wrong. All it means is it’s different.  Different is never bad or wrong.

Check in with yourself. Are you holding yourself back?  Hiding who you really are? Pretending to be something other than who you are?  Not sharing yourself and what is important to you?  Feeling fearful hurt upset and living in the past while pretending you’re present?  Believe in yourself and remember, you are the captain of your ship and any success you desire truly comes from you. Citius, Altius, Fortius Faster, Higher, Stronger. Or as they say in Hip Hop Go Hard.

How are you going to be Faster, Higher and Stronger? We invite you to share your ideas in the box below.

Who do you think you are?

Last week we were talking about defining your own sexuality. I asked you ” who do you think you are?”. It wasn’t meant to be asked in a tone with attitude. It is more of a definition of your sexuality. Its the kind of who do you think you are that rocks your boat.  This question has you get up in the morning and look forward to your day.   It’s the kind of question that when you think about it your mouth salivates, your fingers itch and you cannot wait to get share how you feel. That is the kind of who do you think you are that is interesting. 

The sad thing is that many of you have had the “who do you think you are” beaten out of you. When the question gets asked of you, you find yourself shrinking, experiencing confusion and feeling put out. Very few of you can answer this question and get excited about sharing.  Most of you were taught not to brag about yourselves or your interests. It is as though you never got emotionally feed. You had to find ways feed yourselves which kept many of your interests squashed.

So what happens when you feel squashed? Many of my clients experience a hard time going after what they desire.  They are good at their jobs. They have successful businesses and make money, but when it comes to their personal needs, they gets put on the back burner of their life.  They have a hard time going for what they want for fear of not getting it right.  Adults need to get things right which in turn gives them no freedom.    

Their dreams can get so clouded over they don’t know what they want for themselves and their lives. They have a hard time asking for help and support and don’t believe that they can get it.  They feel that something is wrong with them if they seek support. Many don’t believe they deserve help and will sabotage their successes by not doing the work.  However, when this becomes clear, they are able to flourish. They sabotage themselves because they are always the person doing the helping and are confused and frustrated when they need the help.  All this confusion and fear kick in. 

Most of all you are afraid to go after what you want. You are so afraid that you will be less attractive, seen as aggressive, and in some cases odd, if you go after what you want with fervor. You fear you might will be all alone Andes a result, you worry so much that you can’t have a life of fun, happiness or a find a life partner. 

It is important to really think about who you think you are.  What is important to you?  It is important to gain clarity and live in a world that you create for yourself with your rules.  When you know what is important to you and take the steps to develop the confidence to go after it, you will be confident in the world of who do you think you are.   Also, when you know who you are, you will learn that you are an evolving individual who can recreate yourself as often as you like.  If you feel that you’re sexy, hot, and the cat’s meow, you will be a bag of chips and all that.  Furthermore, your way of being will echo into the world.   Who do you think you are?  Think about it and be it.  
 

Flying By The Seat of Your Pants

You have a fear of something, so what do you do? What is your Trump card. By Trump card, I mean the way you behave when your back is up against the wall and you are being called to take action. Do you pretend and charge into denial? Do you hide out, stay out of communication and ignore calls? Do you shut down emotionally? Do you become defensive and get into fights? Do you strut around and tell everybody in your best cocktail voice that its’ marvelous darling, or do you speak in your loudest voice and assert that you are fine? Or do you just get colloquial say “I got this” when you don’t have anything? The best one yet is that you’re okay and that you do not need any support.

Then something out of the ordinary happens- you lost a job, a relationship, your money. Flying by the seat of your pants does not allow you to make real commitments. This lack of commitment has you live in the place of fear which has you isolate yourself from your feelings and disconnect you from people. A side note about feelings, I want you to know that feelings are fleeting. They come and go like clouds.

Your Trump card is how you have been being for a long time. With your way of being, you are not aware that it is destroying things that are important to you. Using any one of these actions is surely a way of destroying relationships. I have had people tell me that they are not loveable and cannot be loved. They don’t want anyone to love them. They are not committed to anything or anyone when that kind of communication is launched into the world. They have all these beliefs tied into ways that can be loved, like how long they know you. They just have limiting beliefs about love that only makes sense to them. Furthermore, when I say world, I mean the persons individual world where is occurs as though their putting seeds on a Formica counter top and demanding it grow without the right conditions. Their commitments cannot grow, they cannot form relationships and they are never present. They are like drifter’s on the planet not experiencing life’s wonderment, and they wonder why life is not going the way the want it to. They become upset, and people who love and support them find themselves working hard to support these people without anything coming back. Their actions are not personal. It is just difficult to be with these people. It just take waiting for these people will one day take themselves off the Formica counter top and plant themselves in the earth. Figuratively speaking.

With that fixed way of being, one cannot fully experience anything that life has to offer. Commitments become hard to accomplish. Fear of failure can be a fixed way of being that has you fear anything that calls for you to put yourself into action. Your internal conversations that you are constantly creating show up all the time. Thus you win at the game of being unlovable. So what shows up are people who also feel unlovable which creates more of the same in your life. This leaves you with a feeling of not being present to what is possible in life. Fear as is common to everyone. False Evidence Appearing Real.

What is your trump card? Your way of being that comes up for you when confronted or experiencing fear?

Do you have commitments that you fear?

Do you find yourself making commitments and avoiding them?

What are the limiting beliefs that are always stopping you in your life?

Are you flying by the seat of your pants with no plans?

Do you really know what possible for you in your life?

Do you have a fixed way of being that cause you to be fearful and you would like to shift it?