“Noreen does exactly what a coach should do - listen, support and encourage. I appreciate how flexible, realistic and down to earth she is, and I can tell that she has a real passion for her work. I experienced results much faster than I ever expected, and I have her to thank for that.”
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Change your thoughts -
Life Coaches are certified experts who are committed to supporting people to take action in their lives about the things they want and the behaviors they want to change. Life coaches help hundreds of people every day fulfill on the missions and manifest desires and dreams. Life coaching supports you create an upgraded future. In Life coaching, concentrating on your past is not our focal point. Your past is the past. It cannot be altered. So, let’s not focus on it. Acknowledge that your past has happened and move on. We are here now to create a new present and have an upgraded future. Life coaching is supportive, confidential and safe. It is a tool that will have you grow flourish, prosper and harness your power. Life coaching challenges your view of yourself and your interpretation of how you socialize in the world, as you create and or recreate your upgraded life. Life coaching supports you to travel beyond problem solving. Life coaching is a positive approach that allows you to leave your past behind. You learn new ways of shaping your life and living in the now. You create and upgrade to the life you say you want to live. Life Coaching helps you with the whole you.
Noreen Sumpter Getting into action and bring your goals to life
Whether you think you can or you can’t either way you are right When you get a clear picture of what and where you are in relationship to your goals, it takes time to get going and bring the goal to life. Once you get a picture of what it is you want to accomplish, one of the most wonderful exercises that you can now take on is to effects of visualization and the practice of visualizing regularly. Visualization is a technique that is used by professional athletes and performers. Many practice visualizations frequently; most humans visualize to bring their goals to life. Visualization is a method of tricking the mind into believing that you’ve already created the thing that you desire. Visualization helps you stay focused and inspired during the weeks months and something years that it might take you to complete your goal. The following are steps to practicing Visualizations:
Continue to practice your visualization everyday Set aside some time each day to visualize your goals as already complete. Visualization is a very positive tool to know how to use. I challenge you to practice visualization for 30 days and let me know your result. Do you accept? Send me an email and let me know your results. Noreen Sumpter Ask for what you want without fear of rejection Having the ability to ask for what you want brings with it the opportunity to have what the world has to offer, if you believe that you can receive what you ask for. Some people are really excellent at asking and getting what they want because they believe that they can. Others see these people as extremely lucky. However, luck has very little to do with knowing what you want and asking for it. Being able to ask for what you want is a very important self-survival tool. In the past, you had to fight for what you wanted. Today, the tools are knowing how to find the right person, place or thing and pulling out the big gun, which is asking. Many people are held back because they do not know how to ask for the things that they want, desire or need. They are fearful of asking for information, directions or assistance. They are fearful of asking for a date, or asking for support, money to finance a project, help with a project, or a pay raise that would make life better. They are blocked by fear of looking stupid and feeling needy. But you can ask for anything you want. A kiss, a cuddle, sex, attention, time, loyalty, fidelity, if you can think of it you can ask for it. However, a big question when it comes to asking, is will you ask? One of the things that many are guilty of at some point in life until the lesson is learned is that no one can truly read a mind. In fact, no one should ever have to read minds. It is not fair to others nor is it fair to you. Either way it is never a good use of time trying to figure out what another person is thinking unless you ask what it is that is being thought of, then they can choose to tell either tell you or not. However, do not ever ask or infer that another person should be reading your mind. No one can ever know exactly what you want until they ask and you tell them. The fear of asking for something that would make your life and dreams better is best avoided like a plague. If the fear of feeling silly, foolish and needy is making you flinch from asking, then the fear of rejection makes you fear to ask for what you want. Many of us are deathly afraid of rejection. However, this death blow of rejection is something that you make up and give to yourself. It one of the many reasons you tell yourself when you have just heard the word ‘no’ by the person you asked out on a date, or in fact by anyone. ‘No’ is all you heard, nothing else. Then as if that was not enough, there comes the ‘if only’ part of the rejection. ‘If only I was 20lbs lighter, if only my hair was blonde, if only I was 5’10 if only I was a smarter, if only I had a better car, if only I had a better apartment, if only I lived on the other side of town. He/she would have gone out on the date with me.’ So we now judge ourselves as fat and undesirable, as poor, with the wrong hair color, or living on the wrong side of town. The rejection can go on forever, and force us into a life where you never ask another person out again. The fear of rejection is the obsession you make up and tell yourself before you ask a question, and the “no” just provides you with the evidence of what you believed about yourself in the first place. What is not realized is that the rejection occurred way before you asked the question. Because you did not believe in yourself enough by believing that you are good enough as you are. It is important when you want something to believe you are good enough to get it instead of assuming that you are not going to get it. You have to be willing to take a risk to ask for what you want or need. So what if the person you ask says no. What have you lost? You’ve lost nothing. If you want something be persistent and ask again. You have to be willing to ask for what you want, whether it is a raise, a day off, longer lunch break, a discount, a date, a contract, a deal. Whatever it is you want, start by asking and expect that you will get it. Also, be willing to ask again if you do not get it. To be successful you have to be willing to take risks, and risks call for the willingness to be rejected and hear the word ‘no’. Many people go through life so afraid of asking for what they want. The following is a conversation I had with a man I met at a party few weeks ago: I recently met a man at a party who I will refer as XD. XD was an attractive man, a little above average height, in good physical condition. He is successful in his own right. He was dressed nicely, his breath did not smell, He was sober and spoke very well. He was not in anyone’s view an unattractive man by any means. However, during our conversation XD informed me that he had never spoken to a woman in a bar. He had never asked a woman out on a date and he had never been out on a date. When I asked him what was his difficulty in speaking to women in bars, XD told me that he was way too shy to go up to a woman and just have a conversation ( I guess that does not make me a woman! LOL). Anyway, XD said that he would DIE if he got rejected by a woman. Clearly he would not die if he talked to a woman and asked her for a date, but he truly believed that he would and nothing was going to change is mind. I asked him if he would be willing over the never few months to practice. I asked that even with rejection looming, would he be willing to try to talk to a woman in a bar. XD said that he would have to have some lessons on how to do it first. Rejection is a big deal to XD, and how he would deal with this kind of fear of asking is very much alive and well. The worst thing that could happen to XD is that the woman would say no and he would see that it is not a life and death situation. He clearly did not have fear. Fear had him. I asked XD how he met women. He said that he only dated women he met in a work environment and that it took about a year of getting to know them before he garner the courage to ask them out for a drink. XD, like many people, find ways to compensate for their fear of rejection ( or shyness as he put it). They might not find ways that are comfortable; waiting a year to ask someone out on a date, and using you work environment as your social arena might not be the best choice of place. But it works for him for now. With XD’s confession (as he called it), I believe that he will find the courage to swap the risk of rejection for an exciting choice of meeting women sometime soon. Asking is a release. To receive anything that we want we have to ask for it. The power is in the asking, and in the expectation that you will receive what it is you’re asking for. Asking affects everything else. It affects your body posture, eye contact, voice and tone and even your choice of words. When you ask with expectation that you will get that which you’re asking for, your way of being gets into alignment with the expectation. A great practice would be to ask yourself three questions... if I were getting what I want:
Consequently, sometimes you might not get what it is that you’re asking for. But the mere fact that you’re asking, gives you the opportunity to receive valuable opportunities and insights, and to learn to ask again and again until you get what you want. “Never stop asking.” Noreen Sumpter Is the Road to Hell littered with unfulfilled Goals? Goals are very important in life. Goals help you achieve great results in your lives. Having a goal is tantamount to making promises to ourselves. However, many make goals and forget a main ingredient, passion. Passion is the gas that runs the engine that manifests our goals. Many people set goals and do not believe that they will attain them. This lack of attainment is simply the lack of structure for attainment. It’s important to have a goal in life. However, it’s twice as important to have structure. A structure that excites you, gives you images of success. Understanding the SMART Model will help you create a structure that’ll have you be successful.
Specific When your goal is straightforward and it highlights what you want. It is only then that you can accomplish what you want. Now that you know what you want, your ideas are clear, focused, your efforts become definite and can now be easily and fluently executed. Specific: What, Why and How What is it that you are going to do? Why is the importance of what it is you want to accomplish How are you going to do it? Measurable Goals that are not measurable are difficult to manage. Goals have a series of small steps that lead to the larger goal. Clarity about your goals, make them measurable and it becomes easier to see change occur. Change keeps you on track and helps you to reach your target, it also spurs your energy so that you become excited and reach your target. Goal clarity is essential, when you are winning at your goals. You then begin to develop attitudes, abilities, skills and the financial capacity to reach them. Opportunities that were once overlooked are now available bringing you closer to the achievement of your set goal. If you set goals out of your reach, your commitment to accomplishing them will probably not be realized. You usually start with the best of intentions, it is said “Best intentions pave the path to hell”. However, your subconscious reminds you of that fact and stops you from doing your best. By creating, reasons, thoughts and distractions that call you to failure. Setting goals is not easy and are often painful. Goals stretch you
far beyond your norm and are in constant demand of your best. When
you’re being your best and creating new commitments that seem
frightening and conjure up past experiences, your goal might seem
out of the realm of a tangible possibility. Goals are confronting
and challenging. Breaking $12,000 down into a manageable SMART process can and will garner better results. Example: $12,000
for a down payment on XYZ The feeling of success is making the deposits and watching your money grow, helps you remain motivated. However, this is the beginning of the steps that allow you to enter to game of down payment on and buying XYZ. Having down payment starts a new phase of your goal. Realistic Realistic is assessing whether the goal that you set is a do-able
goal. Does your goal meet you where you are presently? Setting
a goal with the attitude of, I will not, I’ll never be successful,
or I cannot, is a fatalistic attitude. It is realistic and important
to set goals that promote positive actions and provide you with great
feelings of success. Be sure to set goals that you have to make some effort. To difficult
and you set yourself up for failure to low and you subconsciously
send a message that your not capable. Setting Personal Boundaries is a Way of Protecting and Taking
Care of Ourselves Setting personal boundaries is a way of protecting and taking care of you. It is important to be able to tell people when they are performing in ways that are not acceptable. It is also important to be able to know that you have the right and duty to protect and defend yourself. It is not only your right to protect and defend yourself; it is your responsibility to be clear on how we want others to treat you. It is important that you learn how to state your feelings verbally and let people know how you feel in a way that communicates clearly. By stating your feelings verbally you affirm your right to your feelings. By affirming your feelings it allows you to begin taking responsibility for yourself and your life. By owning yourself, your reality and your voice is empowering. The result of self ownership, allows other people to hear and understand you clearly. Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation. Some people might say that they are setting boundaries when in fact they are attempting to manipulate people and situations. The difference between setting boundaries and manipulation is that boundaries are healthy and setting boundaries gives people choices. Also, setting boundaries allows you the freedom to let go of the outcome. Whereby, manipulation is not a clear form of communication and it exploits people into doing what you want them to do, by using methods that cause confusion. This confusion has you create outcomes that only the manipulator is clear about. It is unhealthy to have relationships with people who have no boundaries, who cannot communicate directly, honestly and freely. Learning how to set boundaries is important and necessary for you to be a friend to yourself and others. It is your responsibility to take care and to protect yourselves. It is important to love, honor and respect yourself. You cannot truly love yourselves if you do not take responsibility. Loving yourself allows you the opportunity and freedom to be a creator in your lives. Below are a few examples of boundaries: Setting boundaries with people who are upset Setting boundaries for critical people There are many kinds of boundaries that you can create. The following is a list of areas that might require setting boundaries:
I hope that this article gives you some insights into creating boundaries for yourself. Noreen Sumpter Clutter is the Silent Energy Robber Clutter is the silent energy robber. It impacts life one piece at a time. It is one of those things that we tell ourselves “that we will get to later.” However, later never comes and before you know it, it has taken over our home and emotional state. It spreads itself all over floors, closets and overflowing cupboards, then there is no place to do the simplest of things. A client in a consultation said that she had slept on the floor for 6 years in the corner of her bedroom. Another client said that he has to shimmy in sideways to get into his apartment. Clutter, knows no race, class or economic discrimination. Everyone is an open target. We never know who has the clutter bug as I like to call it. It is something not discussed freely. You never know until an emergency happens and you have to visit a home of a friend, family or colleague. The only thing that is stronger than the desire
to get rid of clutter is the desire to hold on even tighter to keeping
things you want or do not want. It becomes a vicious cycle. Mental and emotional clutter is worse than physical clutter because, this kind of clutter affects our thoughts and emotions, distress our hearts and minds and chips away at our happiness. The impact of these feelings leave us angry, powerless, victimized, overwhelmed, afraid, depressed and numb. When we experience these negative thoughts and feelings our life force and energy are drained and we are prevented from creating goals and plans which keeps us away from our knowledge of our true abundance. As I mentioned before, clutter has nothing to do with race, gender, educational or economic situation. Clutter can cause experiences of emotional paralysis and in some cases mental illness. We all know how important it is to start clearing clutter getting rid of the stacks of paper, and recycling the clothes that we no longer wear. And by creating some sort of order out of our disorder we begin to see our life transform. Being in our space feels a lot better and we feel so much clearer. That is only a part of the feelings we experience when we get rid of the physical clutter. When we release the emotional clutter we begin to feel good about our life. We have gratitude for life and we see and appreciate the things that we have and will begin use our gifts and talents to accomplish what we want in life. We no longer tell ourselves lies and find alternative ways to numb ourselves.. With physical, mental and emotional clutter released, we can start, living in a world where we see a future for ourselves.
When is it necessary to get tough with a difficult client? What does a coach do with a client who is difficult and isn’t doing the work that he or she has created? Well, my first thought is to let those clients go. Yes. Fire them. What’s the point of working with clients who will not do the work or take the actions they’ve created? It’s one thing when a client has a fear of doing something and that fear has to be overcome over time. But when is it necessary to get tough with difficult/lazy clients who don’t want to do the work and are constantly self-sabotaging and indulging in behavior that moves them further away from their goals? As a coach, I’m committed to people hiring me to support them as they fulfill on their dreams and desires. I enjoy and consider it an honor to be paid to do what I love. I take my career and job very seriously. I don’t have space for clients who are not committed to their word. There has to be a high level of trust between coach and client. There has to be a high level of integrity in order for the coaching relationship to be successful. As a coach, I believe one has to be willing to put on the Jack Boots from time to time with a client. Some clients really need the Jack Boot approach. Some clients do not. I use the Jack Boots only when necessary. The first time I used the Jack Boot approach with a client, it was very difficult. I was deeply concerned about the client who had been in a space of damaging behavior. I asked my client’s permission to get tough with her. It turned out that my client knew that everything that I was going to give her was from a place of my commitment to her, and my love of her and the process. Some of you might think this coach is getting paid to coach her clients -- not to love them. Well, I will tell you it’s hard not to love and care for your clients, I speak to them on a regular basis. I share their successes, failures, shame, hurt and pain. Yes, I am a professional coach. However, first and foremost, I am a human being. My clients know that the space I hold for them at the moment is bigger than the space they can hold for themselves. So, when I take out the Jack Boots, they know it’s because I won’t settle for anything less for them than winning. Clients are grateful for the tough approach, especially when they achieve the results they are striving for. Yes, clients cry and get afraid. However, they start to learn that it’s a part of the process. Sometimes, talking is not enough. We all know when it’s time to produce results. Enough with the wriggling and worming out of life! Some clients are talented and things in life come very easily for them. Other clients have to dig really deep to get results. I find that the ones for whom things come easy are the ones who need a stern Jack Boot approach. A coach has to use his or her intuition to know when to get tough with a client. I am an advocate for the Jack Boot approach. However, it is better to use it only in critical situations, and when you and your client have a really great relationship. Noreen Sumpter |
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Call 718-834-9450 or e-mail noreen@noreensumptercoach.com.